Something Beautiful

by Jenna Jones

  The blood pressure monitor was speeding up again. "Dad, could we not talk about this right now?" Micah said. "I just had surgery. I really don't want to think about my social life."

  "All right, son, all right." He patted Micah's hand awkwardly, and Micah thought with envy of Dune plopping himself in Leo's lap as comfortably as a small child. "I'll go tell Dune you're awake and he can go home and get some sleep."

  "Okay," Micah said and shut his eyes, suddenly worn out. He heard the door open and shut and exhaled slowly to get himself to relax.

  "We just want you to be happy, darling," his mother said softly, and Micah opened his eyes again.

  "I know. But I'm not ready to get married."

  "Nonsense," Ivy said, moving into the chair beside his bed. "Your father was younger than you when we were married."

  "Times were different then."

  "It wasn't that long ago."

  "Mom. Tired."

  "Sorry, darling," Ivy said. "I can see so clearly how much you need somebody special in your life, to love you and look after you and take care of you. It was nice of your friends to bring you here last night, but they're not always going to be around."

  Micah picked at the blanket. No Dune in his life? He couldn't imagine it. He didn't want to. "I can look after myself just fine," he mumbled.

  Ivy sighed and stroked his forehead. "We'll talk about it when you feel better. Do you need anything? I think they'll allow you Jell-O."

  "I'm not hungry," Micah said and took her hand. "Just sit with me a while?"

  "Of course." She stroked his hand. "One of these days you've really got to stop biting your fingernails."

  "Okay, Mom," Micah said with a faint smile.

  "You're not going to want to go back to that apartment when they release you, are you? You should come home until you're on your feet again."

  "Maybe for a couple days," Micah said. "All my stuff's at my place."

  "Well, give me your keys and I'll pack up a duffel bag for you. What would you like? Some pajamas and your toothbrush and a book or two?"

  "Um," said Micah, trying to remember if he'd left out anything incriminating. His porn and his toys were safely packed away in a box under his bed, but his mother might choose anything to fixate on: his club clothes, his makeup, his body glitter, the pictures on his fridge...

  "You should eat something, darling," Ivy said. "I'll get the nurse." She kissed his forehead and left the room.

  "Okay," Micah said to the empty room and pulled up the blanket. He didn't feel hungry at all -- more nauseous, really, and stiff and sore and heavy-headed. Mostly he wanted Dune, to sit with him and hold his hand.

  He'd ask his mother to open the blinds when she came back. He wanted the sunlight.

  Spencer came back after a few more minutes, with Micah's glasses and coat. "Dune had these," he said, putting the glasses on the bedside table. "Should I hang onto your wallet and keys?"

  "Yes, please," Micah said, and then remembered the condom in one of the wallet pockets. There was no end to this, was there? If Spencer found it he'd want to know why Micah had it. "Mom said she'd like to go by my place to get some things, but Leo can let you in. He has my spare key."

  "Why does Leo have your spare key?" Spencer said, raising his eyebrows.

  "Because I trust him and he's only two floors away."

  "Well," Spencer said, which meant he didn't want to talk about it anymore. "What do you want us to bring you?"

  "My toothbrush, some pajamas, my bathrobe and slippers?"

  "All right."

  "I have Jell-O!" Ivy sang out as she pushed open the door. "You like raspberry, right?"

  "Raspberry's fine," Micah said. "Would you open the shades?"

  "It's too bright out," Ivy said, putting the plastic cup and spork on the tray over his bed. "It'll hurt your eyes."

  "Right," Micah said, pulling up the blankets again. "Of course."

  Chapter Twelve

  Dune came back to the hospital that afternoon after a short nap and a shower. The nurse at the desk on Micah's floor said he could go right in, so Dune knocked quietly on the door and then opened it to peek in.

  Micah was looking out the window -- or at the window, actually, since the blinds were drawn. "Hey," Dune said softly, and Micah squinted at him and then grinned.

  "Dune! Hi."

  "Hi," Dune said and crossed the room to his side. He kissed Micah's forehead. "Where are the parents?"

  "Church," Micah said. "They said they'd be back later. Hey, will you stop by my place and make sure there's nothing out that they shouldn't see?"

  "I don't think you own anything they shouldn't see."

  "Oh, I do," Micah said. "Just make sure nothing shows, please? No condoms in sight, no porn -- and if you wouldn't mind making my bed --"

  Dune wanted to laugh, but Micah looked so worried he resisted. "Sure. I'll make your bed."

  "Thanks." He gripped Dune's hand. "I don't want to be scolded for not making my bed."

  "I think they'll have more important things to focus on than the state of your sheets."

  "You've met my parents, right?" Micah said dryly, and Dune kissed his forehead again.

  "Yeah, yeah. I'll make the bed, put away anything incriminating...should that include your naughty computer games? Away with Resident Evil and Grand Theft Auto?"

  Micah nodded, smiling. "Yeah. They don't need to know about those, either."

  Dune stroked his hair back from his face. "Do you need anything? Should I sneak you in a Big Mac?"

  "Ugh. No," Micah said, looking a little green. "I really can't handle solid food right now."

  "Okay, okay. No contraband. Refill your water jug?"

  "Yeah, please. With cold."

  "Absolutely," Dune said and took the mug into the bathroom just off the main room. There was a toilet and a small shower with a built-in seat in the room as well, and Dune thought idly of how they could make use of that, if only Micah were feeling better...

  Perv, he thought, scowling himself as he filled the mug with cold water. One night without him and you're already looking for ways to seduce him.

  He brought the mug back to Micah, who took a long drink. "Thanks," he gasped, putting the mug down. "And -- and thank you for taking care of me last night."

  "Of course, kitten," Dune said gently. "What are friends for?"

  "The benefits," Micah said with a sly smile.

  "We'll deal with those when you're better," Dune said primly.

  Micah smiled and looked at his hands. "My parents want me to stay with them while I'm recovering."

  "Are you going to?"

  "I don't know if I want to. I think I'd rather be at my own place, with my own stuff."

  "But you shouldn't be alone," Dune said, stroking his cheek. "You're going to have a hard time getting around for a while."

  "Yeah...so I should be at my own place, where there aren't any stairs."

  "And no swimming pool for you to exercise in, either."

  "I'll get Jamie to do yoga with me. He's always saying how gentle and easy it is." He gave Dune a winning smile. "And Ben can cook for me."

  "You just might convince him of that. He's very nice to the small and helpless."

  "Or just the helpless, anyway," Micah said.

  Dune smiled down at him, stroking his hair. "You're not helpless, really, you know."

  "Not normally. Right now, though..." He sighed. "Dunie? Will you open the blinds for me?"

  "Sure. Do you want them raised or just open to let the light in?" He went to the window and adjusted the blinds. They scraped the glass with a metallic sound.

  "Just open. I hate florescent light -- I get enough of it at work, I don't want it here, too."

  "Right," Dune said, tilting them so the late-morning sunlight entered the room but didn't glare off the walls or into Micah's face. "How's that?"

  "Perfect," Micah said softly, leaning back against the pillow.

  Dune came back to him and bent to kiss
his forehead one more time. "Good. I'll go take care of things in your apartment. Leo still has your spare key, doesn't he?"

  "Yes. Thank you, Dunie."

  "No problem, honey. I'll be back later." One more kiss and he left the room.

  At Micah's building, Leo was home and handed over Micah's key without a question. "Is Adam around?" Dune asked him.

  "No," Leo said, "he's -- he's at something. A poetry reading, I think."

  "Hm," said Dune, biting back the question of why Leo wasn't with Adam since he liked poetry readings. "Come with me and help me clean up, won't you?"

  "Trying to get me out of the house?" Leo said, but followed him to Micah's apartment anyway.

  It was still sparsely furnished and mostly undecorated: Jamie had convinced Micah to buy things he loved when he found them rather than to furnish the place all at once with things he might not like in a year. Micah had a comfortable platform bed and a desk for his computers, the couch his friends had given him, stools for his bar and a hutch for his TV and stereo equipment. Aside from a few photographs stuck to his fridge (with magnets that read things like "Obey Gravity" and "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup"), he hadn't personalized the place much. Dune took down all pictures of himself snuggling Micah or kissing him, and a few group pictures where people were wearing Pride shirts or buttons.

  Leo ambled through the apartment as Dune poked around. "It still looks like a dorm room," he remarked, standing in the doorway of Micah's bedroom as Dune made the bed.

  "We're working on that." He fluffed the sheets and Leo came over to the other side of the bed to help him. "It'll be stylish and comfortable eventually."

  "He has good sheets, at least," said Leo. "That's a very good start."

  "Do you like these? I helped him pick these out. He wasn't too sure about the color, but it's grown on him." Dune hesitated. "Dad."

  "Hand me that pillow?"

  Dune handed him the pillow. "Dad. What's going on with you and Adam?"

  Leo arranged the pillows to his satisfaction. "It's nothing that hasn't happened before."

  Dune frowned. "What do you mean?"

  "Every few years he --" Leo smoothed the coverlet. "Every few years he has to stray. And I've learned not to mind it. He always comes home and that's what matters."

  "Dad," Dune said, shocked and dismayed. "How long has this been going on?"

  Leo shrugged. "You were about three the first time. It's okay, Dunie. Every now and again you really need to fuck another body, no matter how committed you are."

  "Dad, that's --"

  "It's reality, Dune. That's all. And I'm fine. We'll get through this the same way we always do."

  "I can't believe you just put up with this!"

  "Dune, it happens. It's just the way of things --"

  "I don't believe that," Dune said, sitting despondently on the edge of the bed. "I can't believe you're not miserable and furious with him."

  "I'm not saying I'm not miserable," Leo said dryly. "I'm just -- accepting, I suppose."

  "That's ridiculous. It's horrific. Tell me he's at least being careful."

  "Of course he is," Leo said. "Old dogs learn new tricks, you know."

  "I hardly think this is a time for joking."

  "This is the best time for joking. Listen to me, Dune. In any long-term relationship there are compromises, and this is our compromise. He gets to fool around every few years --"

  "And you get to wait."

  Leo sighed again. "You'll understand when you're older," he said and left the bedroom.

  "That's ridiculous," said Dune, following him. "How am I supposed to even look Adam in the eye now?"

  "Because he's your father."

  "He is not my father! You're my father. He's my father's partner and I -- I thought that meant something."

  "It does mean something, Dune: it means he's your parent and deserves your respect, even when you disagree with him." He put his hands on Dune's shoulders. "Dune. I love him, and he's your father as much as I am. That's all you need to know."

  "Right," Dune said quietly, looking away, and sighed when Leo kissed the top of his head. "I need to get back to Micah."

  Leo nodded, his expression sad and weary, and left Micah's apartment. Dune left too, locked the door behind him, and jogged down the stairs to his car. He let himself in, dropped into the driver's seat, and sat for a moment, unmoving.

  He held his forefingers to his temples and told himself not to panic. If this had been going on for years then they'd come through it okay before and would come through it okay again. But he hated the thought of his father facing this, of Leo waiting for Adam to come home.

  He wanted Micah. He wanted Micah so much that he sped the entire way to the hospital, took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator and went into Micah's room without knocking.

  Micah's sister, Shiloh, was sitting on Micah's bed. She chirped, "Hi, Dunie!" and another woman -- a little older, very pretty, with curly, brown hair and a round baby in her lap -- smiled at him from the upholstered bench against the wall.

  "Hey, Shiloh," Dune said and added, "Hey, Micah," and there was no missing the sunshine in Micah's answering smile. "I did the thing at the place."

  "Thanks," Micah said and then looked puzzled, his brows drawing together. "Are you okay?"

  "Not especially, but we can talk about that later." He sat on the bench beside the woman and smiled hello.

  "So you're Dune," she said and laid her hand on her chest. "I'm Rebecca."

  "Oh! Hello. I've heard a lot about you." The baby flapped her arms at him, and he said, "And this is Kitty, right?"

  "That's right," Rebecca said proudly. "We figured it would be best if I came by while Mom and Dad were sure to be away."

  "Wise choice." Dune held out his hands. "May I? My hands are clean."

  "Sure." She put the baby in his arms. "You've done this before."

  "A time or two," Dune said, looking down into Kitty's face. Her fine brows were drawn together, puzzled, and he lightly beeped her nose. That got a squeal and she grabbed his finger to gum it.

  "Anyway," Shiloh said, "like I was saying, anything you need, anything at all, you tell me and I'll get it for you."

  "Mostly I just want my bathrobe," Micah said. "Walking around with my ass hanging out is nobody's idea of fun."

  Dune started to say Micah's ass was a thing of beauty everyone should feel privileged to see, but decided that would be in poor taste and just smiled to himself.

  "But Mom and Dad should be bringing that by later today," Micah went on. "The nurse says I'm going to be here at least a couple days, and I'm supposed to try and walk a couple times every day."

  "Poor Micah," Shiloh said, rubbing his leg through the blankets. "What about work?"

  "Health plan," Micah said with a shrug. "It covers hospital stays, and I'll have to do extended leave while I recover."

  "I'll call HR on Monday for you," Dune said, and Micah smiled at him gratefully.

  "All my insurance stuff is in my wallet. I'll have to get it from my Dad."

  "Okay," Dune said.

  A nurse came into the room. "Micah, it's time for you to walk a little. Feel up to it?"

  "I don't have a bathrobe," Micah said, starting to look panicked.

  "We have one here," she said, pulling a tissue-thin robe off a hook in the small bathroom off the main room. "And socks and slippers for your feet, if you'd like them."

  Micah nodded miserably. "If I have to."

  "You need to move around so your muscles don't atrophy," she said gently.

  "It hurts so much just to walk to the bathroom."

  "Keep moving and it won't," she said, and brought the bathrobe to him.

  "I'll help you, Micah," Dune said, and the nurse nodded.

  "There, you see? Your friend will help. You don't have to do it alone."

  Micah's eyes met Dune's a moment and he smiled and said, "Okay." He flipped back the
blanket and sheet, wincing at the movement. Dune gave Kitty back to Rebecca, got up and helped Micah swing his legs around and stand. Shiloh watched, biting her lip and reaching out a few times to steady Micah.

  "There, you see?" the nurse said when the robe was on and Micah was holding firmly to Dune's arm. "Just for ten minutes or so, up and down the hall, and then rest. It'll be dinnertime in about an hour."