Next Year in Israel

by Sarah Bridgeton

  He fiddled with his sandwich. “Okay. See ya.”

  My eyes watered as he walked away. There had been a girl at the beach. A tear slid down my face. I tried to keep my head straight and pretend I wasn’t crying.

  “What can I get for you?” the cashier asked.

  “Two pita ‘n’chips.” Mia gave me a thin napkin. “Jerk. It means you’re meant to be with Avi.”

  I took the napkin and wiped my eye.

  ~ * * * ~

  “Skip school with me today,” I said to Mia the next morning. I could always play sick. I had done it hundreds of times at home. She opened her cubby. “Everybody will know you’re upset. It’ll blow over if you be casual.”

  Casual? Jake ditched me, and Jordyn was gonna use it against me. He would ignore me again, and Jordyn would tell him that I cried my eyes out. He might even brag about the other girl loud enough for the entire class to hear. Everybody would be talking about stood-up me.

  “I can’t deal,” I said.

  “You can’t avoid him.”

  She was right. If I managed to avoid him at the dining hall and school, I’d run into him at the Deleck like I had the night before. There was no way out. Eventually, I’d have to go to school, and I would see him. “This sucks.”

  At school, I chatted with Mia about our teachers and didn’t say hi to him. He stuck to Ben and didn’t say hi to me like he normally did. In history, I took my seat awkwardly. The classroom felt empty from the vacant desks belonging to the students who had been expelled. Jake sat down next to me and opened his textbook.

  Mia kicked me under the desk.

  I turned around to her, grateful she was there to talk to. She nodded at me.

  “Hey.” I tried to sound natural as I spoke to Jake. It was what Mia would have done.

  “Hey,” he said unenthusiastically.

  The old me couldn’t come back. The past few months of having friends were the best times I had in years. I had to get back to where I’d been last week. If only I could travel backwards and delete the scene in the dining hall when I thought Jake might think of me as anything other than a friend. He probably set up the date because Mia egged him on. If I hadn’t gotten overly confident about myself, Jake and I would be sitting next to each other laughing about something. We’d be friends, and I’d be having an easy day. I shouldn’t have taken the chance.

  Leah paced in front of the blackboard. “Tonight’s homework is a two-page essay on what has affected you the most in Israel. You may start writing it now while I get your quiz together.”

  I tore out a piece of paper and looked at Leah’s red lipstick that was smudged on her front tooth as she got out our quiz. I glanced over at Jake. He was staring at Leah. I needed to fix it before it turned into a bigger mess. My heart was already crushed, but my friendship with Jake couldn’t end. It proved that my metamorphosis was real. He wouldn’t have talked to a pathetic loser.

  Luck was on my side. Jordyn’s head was down on her desk but I knew she was watching me, hoping for another screw-up. I wasn’t foolish. She could pounce any second. One good sign was that Jake hadn’t moved his seat away from me. I had been ditched by enough friends to know that moving a seat away from me meant it was over. Jake had also said hi to me. If he truly wanted to break up our friendship, he’d give me the silent treatment. Maybe he just wanted to forget about what had happened, too? I wrote Friends? on my paper.

  Leah gave her stack to Jake. “Please pass this quiz out.”

  I scribbled over Friends?. Dumb me. I was being desperate.

  He got up and flung a quiz on my desk.

  My hands started to shake. I looked down at my paper and tried to pretend he wasn’t there. It was a mistake to think he wanted to hook up.

  “Thanks, Jake,” Mia muttered under her breath. She turned around and whispered, “Jerk.”

  “Bet I get an A,” I said, as if I could care less about him. It was a relief to have something to talk about.

  “No talking, Rebecca,” Leah said.

  I picked up my pencil. Mia was being loyal, although she could change her mind at any moment. One unlikely hookup gone bad might give her a reason to end our friendship.

  Jordyn laughed as Jake put the quiz on her desk.

  My chest knotted up. Being a loser was my destiny.

  “The next student to talk or laugh will lose ten points on their quiz,” Leah said.

  I gripped my pencil and put my head down.

  ~ * * * ~

  That evening, I sat on my bed and wondered if it could get any worse. I had finally gotten a life, and then I’d screwed it up. No wonder Jake stood me up. I was nothing but a reject. The girl on the beach was a million times better than me. Sexy. Confident. Smart. She was probably even a nice person. What was I? A freak pretending to be normal.

  “It’s time to go to dinner.” Mia closed her history book.

  “I’m not hungry.” I held in my tears. No way could I see Jordyn. She’d add more jabs to the Did you hear? gossip. Keeping a low profile was my only option.

  “You’ve got to go,” Mia said. “I thought we already went through this.”

  “We did,” my voice cracked. She had it easy. Jordyn had stopped messing with her. Ben was her boyfriend. She didn’t have to worry about being smeared.

  She got up. “This is getting old.”

  “I know,” I said. “I just need to be alone. I promise I’ll stop freaking out by the time you come back.”

  “Whatever,” she said and put on her hoodie.

  I swallowed. I was being lame. She didn’t hide in our room when Jordyn started the rumor about her. She went on as though she didn’t care.

  She paused for a moment at the door. “You know what?”

  Why couldn’t I be gutsy like her? “What?”

  “You’ve got Avi,” she said.

  “Thanks,” I said quietly.

  Avi. My first kiss. Easy to be around. Killer music collection.

  Why was I being a wimp? Nobody at the kfar was barking at me. I got up and went to our sink. My eyes were moist. I splashed my face with cold water to get rid of those tears.

  Mia was still my friend, and I needed to stop being pathetic. I had to pretend I was okay. It was my new life. So I screwed it up a little. I could get it back on track as long as I didn’t do anything that would bring me any more scrutiny. I brushed my bangs out of my face. I was gonna catch up to Mia and Ben as if I hadn’t been crying.

  “Becca.” It was Jake’s voice.

  I didn’t answer. Why was he there? To tell me I was an idiot?

  “Are you there?” He slid the door open and walked in. “You are. What’s up?”

  “Nothing, I’m on my way to dinner.” I glared at him. He trampled on my feelings, then came to my room like he hadn’t. What was his point?

  He took his hands out of his pockets. “We need to talk?”

  “If you say so.” Really? Hadn’t enough already been done? Did he come to give me a stupid excuse?

  “My bad.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I kissed somebody at the beach.”

  “Thanks for your honesty.” Telling the truth didn’t take away my hurt.

  He sat down at the foot of my bed. “Can we be friends?” He looked into my eyes and waited for my answer. I searched his eyes for clues. Had he even wanted the date to begin with? Or had he felt roped into it because Mia had told Ben? Was this a pity apology to keep our clique in balance?

  His pupils shrank, and the only thing I saw was sincerity. After all, he was asking me what I wanted to do, instead of assuming he could just make the decision for us. For the first time since the disaster began, I felt like had some power. I could say no and turn him down. We didn’t have to be friends.

  “Should I beg?” He didn’t smile. “I’ll get down on my hands and knees for ya.”

  “Can you apologize correctly?”

  “I’m sorry.” He grinned. “Is that good?”

  “Maybe.” I couldn’t say no. He w
as too much fun—how he could be serious and flirty at the same time. I was beginning to feel like I was my new self again, and my transformation was back on.

  “Maybe,” he said. “Can I kiss you?”

  He wasn’t getting a kiss after what had happened. We were friends and that was it. “I don’t think so.”

  “I’ve been wanting to since the day at the pool.” He inched over.

  I looked at Mia’s cubby. “I’ve changed my mind.”

  “Don’t lie.” He brushed his fingers on my jeans. “Don’t ya want to know what it feels like?”

  My leg radiated. “No.”

  He leaned over. “Liar.”

  I closed my eyes, and quivers spread all over my body.

  Chapter 14

  WE LEFT FOR A FIELD trip the next day. Leah took over the bus microphone as soon as we settled into our seats. “All right, loves. We’re on our way to Gadna, which is mock Army training for Israeli high school students. Our tour guide won’t be joining us.”

  “Shucks,” Ben said from the seat behind us.

  Mia laughed. She was sitting next to me.

  Jake walked toward us. “Hey.”

  I moved over to make room for him. The kiss had turned into a hot make-out session, and it had been just as good as my dream. He had called it amazing. It was, I had thought as we lay next to each other and talked afterwards. There was something between us, some kind of connection.

  “Ugh.” Mia frowned. “I’m sitting with Ben.”

  “Think she likes me?” he asked in his regular happy-go-lucky voice. Disgusted was more like it. How could you? she had asked after I told her about the hookup. I knew she thought I was a pushover for being with him. He doesn’t deserve you, she had argued—which had made me feel like I was good enough to be the type of girl who a popular boy shouldn’t automatically get.

  “Excited about Gadna… I mean, no school or work for three days?” Was Mia right? Was the hookup a mistake? Would it be weird between us after what we had done?

  “Boot camp,” Jake said.

  “It can’t be that hard,” I said. “The Israelis do it.”

  Jake kicked his backpack away from the aisle. The cord from his headphones, sticking out from the smaller pocket, hit my feet. “Move.”

  I slid my foot over and couldn’t help smiling. I had made out with a popular guy. The kind of guy who wouldn’t have considered me a smidgen bit worthy at home. If he had any second thoughts about it, he wasn’t showing it. “What’s in your iPod?” I said, determined to be casual.

  “Dunno.”

  “Favorite song?”

  He smiled. “Hmmm. Too many to choose from.”

  I rolled my eyes. He probably just wanted to be friends, anyways. That’s what he had said in my room. Better to pretend the hookup never happened. Mia thought I shouldn’t have, and it was easier to leave us as friends.

  “Go ahead and mock me,” he said. “Your favorite changes all the time. We’re a lot alike.”

  “Can I listen?” I sighed out of relief.

  He handed me his headphones. “Aren’t you psyched to shoot a gun?”

  “Nah.” The thought of holding a gun scared me.

  ~ * * * ~

  A few hours later, we had arrived in the middle of nowhere. It looked like we were in a trailer park from the worn aluminum buildings scattered inside a wire fence.

  “Where are we?” Mia asked.

  I had no idea. After Jake sat down next to me, I had closed my eyes and listened to music.

  “It’s top secret,” Ben said, enjoying the idea of a covert location. For a moment, I wondered about my reputation. I had blabbed to Mia about the hookup. Surely Jake had told the guys, and I didn’t want to be known as the kfar slut. I watched Ben closely. If my reputation had been downgraded to slutty, Ben would act differently around me. He tapped his Camel box against his fist. “Cigarette, Rebecca?”

  I smiled to myself. Pugly the slut was nowhere in sight.

  “No smoking now,” Leah said. “Girls, follow me to your barracks. Boys, wait here for the sergeant. Bathrooms are in the next trailer.”

  Inside the trailer, conditions didn’t improve: cold floors and rusted metal bunk beds. Mia and I picked the bunk bed in the corner. I balled up my pink hoodie into a pillow to give the tattered mattress life.

  Leah pointed to two green duffel bags near the only single bed, which she had claimed. “Take a hat and a canteen full of water to the flagpole behind this trailer. And I expect you to follow the sergeant’s orders.”

  “Aren’t you coming with us?” I asked, as though she were my mom.

  “I’ll be here reading.” She picked up a paperback.

  “That’s not fair,” Jordyn muttered, scowling. “She’s taking a vacation.”

  “At least we don’t have to wear ugly uniforms,” I said.

  “Just stupid hats.” Mia pushed the hat up.

  In front of the flagpole, a raindrop fell on the brim of my hat. Our sergeant was dressed in camouflage fatigues and could have passed for Ben’s cousin, because he had the same dark hair and eyes.

  “My name’s Sergeant Yaron.” He spoke English well.

  “Are you Israeli?” Ben asked in a smart-aleck tone. Sergeant Yaron only looked a few years older than us.

  “No questions.”

  Ben snickered. “How old are you?”

  “I said no questions. Give me twenty-five push-ups.”

  Ben didn’t move.

  “Do you want the group to join you?”

  Ben dropped. He was in excellent shape from his irrigation job. Mia gazed at him with a smile. I watched the Israeli flag billowing in the wind while Ben did his last five pushups. The blue intertwined triangles that made up the Star of David stood out like a billboard in the middle of the flag’s two blue stripes.

  “This isn’t a joke,” Sergeant Yaron yelled.

  Jordyn laughed.

  “Who laughed?”

  Nobody answered.

  “The group runs around the base three times for the one who laughed.”

  Mia, Jordyn, and I ran in the back of the pack. I panted by the end of the first lap. Halfway through the second lap, Mia’s nose scrunched up in concentration. As we were about to start the third lap, she sprinted in a last-ditch effort before changing into a fast walk.

  “What are you doing?” Jordyn asked when I slowed to Mia’s pace.

  “Walking.” Mia huffed for breath. “We can’t keep up.”

  “Don’t,” Jordyn said. “Keep running.”

  I watched the rest of the group wait for us at the flagpole in the drizzle. “I hate this already.”

  “You slowed us down,” Yaron barked.

  Mia’s eyes welled up. She mouthed the word Sorry.

  Jordyn squinted at Yaron.

  “Don’t freak,” Jake whispered. “He has to be this way.”

  “Who is talking?”

  “Me,” Jake said.

  “Me and the slow girls will serve dinner and clean up.”

  Ben took Mia’s hand.

  “No touching.”

  Asshole, Ben mouthed.

  ~ * * * ~

  I sat down next to Jordyn at dinner because it was the only seat left. “How’s the gourmet food?”

  “Worse than the dreadful delicacies at the kfar.” She mimicked Leah’s British accent. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

  “We rationed the trays,” I said. The chicken and green beans smelled bland.

  Mia wedged herself between Ben and Jake.

  “No kissing.” Jake winked.

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Dinner is done.” Sergeant Yaron pointed at Mia. “You three clean up.”

  Mia picked up her boneless chicken with her hands and took a bite.

  “Yes, sir.” Ben said.

  Sergeant Yaron pointed to Ben. “The rest of the group and Ben, come with me to study guns.”

  I grabbed a broom, relieved to be excused from the gun lecture. “I’ll sweep.�
�� Learning to shoot a gun wasn’t on my list of things that I wanted to do. Too dangerous. Too scary.

  Mia picked up her tray and tossed it in the metal garbage can. Ben and the rest of the group followed Yaron out.

  Jake walked over the industrial-size sink. “You okay? Miss Doesn’t Like Gadna.”

  “Becca’s a better nickname.” I swept. “The floor’s already clean.”

  “We’ll be back at the kfar soon.” Jake pushed the sponge around the table’s edges. And I wondered how fast soon could be.

  ~ * * * ~

  Leah was snoring on her bed when Mia and I returned from cleanup.

  “Do either of you have a cold?” Jordyn asked.

  “Why?” Mia answered.

  “I want to be excused, and I need to expose myself to as many germs as possible.” So Mia and I weren’t the only ones who hated Gadna.

  Mia smiled. “A cold won’t work. You need something more contagious.”

  “An infectious disease,” Jordyn said.

  Mia pointed to Jordyn’s eyes. “Your eyes are bloodshot.”

  “It’s from being tired and stressed out,” Jordyn said.

  “An eye infection might get you out of it,” Mia said.

  “Yeah, find a sore and scratch until it bleeds,” I chimed in. “Touch it and then your eyes.” My purpose for helping her was purely selfish. If she got sick, I might come down with it and get out of detention too.

  “Lights out,” Leah yelled from her bed.

  “When did she wake up?” Jordyn whispered.

  “Scratch your sore.” I reminded her. The bunk bed squeaked as I climbed to the top.

  “Pink eye,” Mia said from the bottom bunk. I tried to rearrange myself into a comfortable position. Tucking my arms into my sides under my sleeping bag was too hot. Folding them on top of my stomach left me cold. I decided it was better to be hot than cold. I closed my eyes and imagined I was under freshly-washed cotton sheets until I drifted off to sleep.

  “Get up.” It was Sergeant Yaron. “Be at the flagpole in five minutes with your hats and canteens full.”

  It was midnight. We had only been asleep for an hour.

  I slugged on my jeans and a gray sweatshirt.

  At the flagpole, Ben whispered in Mia’s ear while I struggled to keep my eyes open.

  “What are you doing?” Yaron said.