Bye-Bye Baby

by Morgana Phoenix

  He quickly looked away. “I should—”

  “Would you mind staying?” Rosie blurted. “It’s just that I don’t like leaving Meggie alone after what happened. I would really appreciate it.” She looked towards Beth, missing or ignoring the look of stunned horror on her face. Cole guessed the latter. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  Beth’s mouth opened and shut several times in rapid successions, but nothing came out. Finally, she just snapped it shut and shook her head.

  Rosie beamed. “Thank you!”

  She hurried off to where her daughter sat, idly picking at the items inside the drawer but making no effort to draw anything out.

  Cole watched her a second before his gaze drifted to the brunette across the room. He wished to God she would put a damn robe on already. Seeing so much of her was doing nothing to help his control. Instead, it made him wonder if it was deliberate. If she was intentionally toying with him, because there was no way she couldn’t sense just how much danger she was in.

  His gaze roamed up, tracing every soft curve until he had her trapped. The look in her eyes was helpless, and the animal in him moaned with pleasure.

  She dropped her gaze first.

  “Okay, ready?” Rosie was beside her then.

  Beth spared him one fleeting glance before allowing her friend to lead her back into the bedroom.

  Cole stayed by the door a minute longer, studying the spot she’d occupied and wondered what the hell he was doing. He should leave. All sense told him that that was the logical thing to do, the safe thing. But another part of him, the one he had fought so hard to suppress and ignore, thrashed anxiously with the need to stay. Now that she was so close once more, the idea of leaving again made his insides hurt.

  Across the room, Meggie pulled out a Barbie with bright purple hair and a sparkly pink dress. She held it in her hands and simply stared at it as though willing it to speak.

  Cole abandoned his spot and moved carefully over to her. He crouched down and crossed his legs.

  “Hey.” He offered her his best grin. “What’s her name?”

  Meggie peered at him. Her features sorrowful and broken. Cole ached to do something, to fix it. But all he could do was sit there and wait for her to answer. He thought of Willa and how shy she was. The only person she really opened up to was Calla. But this little girl had no one.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he told her quietly.

  Meggie went back to staring at her doll, as mute as the plastic in her hands.

  Cole was still sitting on the floor next to Meggie when Rosie emerged, flush-faced and slightly out of breath. Crimson strands had escaped the ponytail and clung to her temples. Her mascara had run from the steam and smudged beneath her eyes. She smiled when she spotted them.

  “How are things going?” she asked.

  “Just chilling,” Cole answered, trying to sound nonchalant.

  “Yeah?” Rosie walked around to kneel at her daughter’s other side. “Did you guys have fun?”

  Meggie kept her head down and remained quiet.

  Cole met Rosie’s eyes over the child’s head. Neither said it, but they both knew something was horribly wrong.

  “How about a sandwich?” Rosie said with too much false cheerfulness. “Beth’s just finishing up so she’ll be out in a bit.”

  “I could use a sandwich,” Cole said, eyeing Meggie. “How about you? PB and J?”

  Meggie never moved.

  “Peanut butter and jam is Meggie’s favorite!” Rosie chimed in with enthusiasm. “I think I might be able to find some bananas, too.”

  When Meggie continued to remain mute, they got to their feet, left the girl where she was sitting and moved towards the kitchen.

  Rosie skirted the counter, hands wringing anxiously. “I keep telling myself she’ll get over it in a few days, but what if she doesn’t?”

  “She will,” Cole assured her. “But it’s only been a few hours so give her some time.”

  “How much time?” Rosie’s brown eyes met his. “What if it’s too much time, or not enough time?”

  Cole had no idea.

  “Maybe take her to a doctor if you feel so concerned. They’ll know better.”

  Rosie nodded, red mouth pulled down at the corners. “I just wish I’d been here. I feel like this is my fault.”

  Cole arched an eyebrow. “Did you set the fire?”

  She blinked. “What?”

  His shoulders rolled in a shrug. “Well, it’s not your fault unless you set the fire.”

  “But I should have been here!” A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly turned away to wipe it. “I’m sorry.” She sniffled. “I don’t even know you and I’m blubbering all over you.”

  “I don’t mind.” And he didn’t. Maybe it was the lawyer in him, but he had a knack for listening to other people’s problems.

  Rosie said nothing as she rummaged around the kitchen as though she’d done it a million times. Jars of jam and peanut butter were lined up on the counter next to a loaf of bread. She unearthed a butter knife and began putting sandwiches together.

  It was around that time when Beth emerged, clad in shorts and a camisole. Her arms were once more enclosed in gauze, but she looked alert and almost cheerful, even when she spotted him.

  “What are we making?” she asked, pulling herself up on the stool next to Cole and peering over the counter at the piece of bread Rosie was slathering with jam. “Ooo, PB and J!” She glanced over to where Meggie sat with her hunched little back to them. “I think I might just eat all of them myself.”

  Meggie didn’t seem to care.

  Rosie sighed.

  “I’m sorry, Rosie.” Beth turned to the other woman. “This is my fault.”

  “How?” Rosie muttered. “You saved her life.”

  “I also threw her out a window,” Beth mumbled. “If anything, I’m probably the cause of this.”

  “Hey!” The butter knife was pointed at Beth, the look on Rosie’s face fierce. “She’s alive because of you.” She dropped her gaze and smacked the knife down on the counter. “She’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.” She pulled in a deep breath and forced a smile. “So what are you planning to do?”

  Beth’s shoulders dropped, her expression becoming agitated. “Rosie…”

  “Well, you can at least ask.”

  “Ask what?” Cole chimed in.

  “Nothing!” Beth snapped, glaring at her friend.

  “Damn it, Beth!” Rosie shot back. “I swear, there are days I want to stab you in your sleep!”

  The threat must have been a normal one, because Beth never reacted to it, at least not the way most normal people would.

  “I’m still not doing it.”

  “Fine.” Rosie tipped her chin up. “I’ll ask him.”

  “Rosie, don’t you—”

  But Rosie had already turned her focus on Cole and the words were thrown into the universe.

  “Beth needs someone to help take care of her.” She folded her arms the way a teacher would when giving a lecture. “Meggie and I won’t be around and there is no one else. Do you think you could do it?”

  “Damn it, Rosie!” Beth hissed, and was ignored.

  While the question was an obvious one, it scared the shit out of him.

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

  He saw the flicker of hurt in Beth’s eyes, but it was quickly masked by her sharp laugh. “See?” Beth waved a hand towards Cole. “I told you.”

  Rosie wasn’t as accepting of his cowardice. “Look, you just need to help her with her wraps. The doctor said it would only be a few days.”

  “He can’t, Rosie!” Beth’s snarl almost made Cole jump. In her corner, Meggie squeaked and dropped her doll. Beth sighed and lowered her voice. “He has a job and a life back in Willow Creek. He has a daughter. He can’t just pack up and stay here with me just so he can change my bandages.”

  Rosie seemed to think about this a moment and Cole was a littl
e afraid of how loudly the wheels in her head seemed to be churning.

  “What if you go with him?” Rosie ignored Cole’s sputter of protest and Beth’s outright shout of outrage. “Why not?” she demanded. “You have three weeks off to heal. You don’t have any kids and your apartment smells like burnt dog shit. I don’t even think that’s safe to breathe in, never mind actually live in. You need a place to relax and get better. Plus, weren’t you telling me just the other day how you miss those little girls, what were their names?”

  “Willa and Calla,” Beth muttered grudgingly.

  “Yeah.” Rosie smiled. “This gives you a chance to see them and I don’t have to worry about you.”

  Beth shook her head. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Going six hours away just to have someone bandage my arms is stupid. I can just as easily get one of the girls at the hospital—”

  Rosie folded her arms and raised a finely penciled eyebrow. “You’re going to go to the hospital twice a day, every day to wait for someone to find the time to do that for you? What about washing your hair and helping you get dressed? Be the sensible person I know you are, Bethy.”

  “I—”

  “I’ll do it.”

  The words left him without a single shred of control. It hummed through the sudden silence like a gun misfiring in the darkness. Rosie and Beth both peered at him with varying degrees of disbelief and approval.

  “What?”

  Cole gave himself no time to reconsider, no time to retract his statement. He rose off the stool and faced her with all the determination coursing through him.

  “Come home with me.”

  Chapter Four ~ Beth

  The man is insane, was Beth’s first thought. Or he was playing a really twisted game. Maybe he was being sarcastic. Yet his features gave nothing away. They were so solemn, so calm, like he took helpless women home to care for every day.

  Maybe he did.

  “You’re not serious.”

  Cole returned her disbelief with a mild tilt of his head and the narrowed squint of his eyes. “Don’t I look serious?”

  “No!” she blurted. “You look…” Beautiful. Gorgeous. Breathtaking. “Like you’ve lost your damn mind,” she finished hurriedly. “We can’t…”

  “We can and we will.” Everything from his rigid posture to the fire behind his blue eyes warned her not to argue. “Go pack your things, or I will.”

  Beth felt her heart hammering like a caged animal in her chest, frightened and desperate to escape the walls closing in all around her.

  “You can’t force me to go!”

  He seemed to consider her words carefully before speaking again.

  “You’re right,” he mused. “I have never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to do. I won’t force you now. If you want to stay, so be it.”

  He dug into his pocket and drew out his phone.

  Beth exchanged bemused glances with Rosie. The other woman shrugged.

  “Who are you calling?” Beth asked.

  Cole punched in a number and brought the phone to his ear. His blue eyes met hers.

  “Work,” he said simply. “I’m taking a temporary leave of absence.”

  “What?” Beth sputtered.

  He jerked one shoulder. “If you won’t come with me, then I’ll stay here with you.”

  “Stop!” She darted around the kitchen counter and tried to grab the phone from him. “Cole, please.”

  “I’m not leaving you here alone, Beth,” he said, pulling out of her reach. “I might not be the person you want to see, or be around, but I’m not leaving you.”

  He didn’t say it and nothing in his face implied it was what he meant, but she felt the jab straight between her ribs. It infuriated her. The whole matter pissed her off. There was just so much happening and he wasn’t giving her the chance to wrap her head around any of it, which was nothing like the man she remembered. Cole had always valued and respected every decision she made. He never strong-armed her into doing anything she didn’t want. But the man in front of her now was a complete stranger, everything from his features to his attitude.

  “Going anywhere with you isn’t a good idea,” she said slowly, careful to keep her voice controlled and level. It was the voice she used on the frantic women who came into the maternity ward, frazzled and panicked about having their babies. “You know it’s a bad idea.”

  Rather than see the very sensible picture in her logic, Cole stared at her as though she’d just flicked him on the nose. But when he spoke, he wasn’t talking to her.

  “Hey Stan. It’s Cole. There’s been an emergency and I won’t be able to come in to work for a little while. Let me know when you get this.”

  Still, without taking his eyes off her, he lowered the phone and disconnected. Then he punched in a new number and the phone was back at his ear.

  “Now who are you calling?” she demanded, exasperated.

  “Hey Lil,” he said without answering Beth. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Yeah, she’s here. She’s fine. Has some burns. I’ll let her know. No, I’m going to stay here for a while, help out if I can. Yeah, tell her I’ll call her every night before bed. No, that would be really great. Thanks. Okay, I’ll see you then.” This time, when he hung up, the phone was tucked into his pocket. “That’s everyone.”

  Beth simply stared at him. Her heart cracked in her chest, each one loud enough to make her head hurt.

  “You’re not staying here!” she burst out at last, her frustrations and panic finally suffocating her.

  “Fine,” he said with a quick nod of his head. “I’ll find a hotel somewhere nearby.”

  “Jesus Christ!” she swore viciously. “Why are you doing this? Have you not done enough already?”

  He seemed to grow with the question. His already tall frame expanded so it was as though he were taking over the entire room. The anger crackled behind his eyes, bright and violent. He glowered at her with the same fury and betrayal she felt clawing through her.

  “And what exactly have I ever done to you?” he bit out savagely. “I wasn’t the one who walked away, Beth. That was you.”

  It boiled on the tip of her tongue to throw his past mistakes back in his face, to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her. But humiliation became a thick past, lodging the words in her throat. Her rage and pain vibrated through her, making her tremble as she struggled beneath decision.

  “Get out.” Those two simple words tore like razor blades being vomited up.

  He scoffed, disgust shimmering in his darkened eyes. “Whatever.”

  With a shake of his head, he left. The door slamming resounded like a thunderclap through the small apartment. It punched her in the chest as surely as if he’d used his fist. She nearly staggered under the blow. Her breath whooshed out, harsh and brittle.

  “Beth?” Rosie’s hands were gentle against the small of her back, guiding her to the sofa.

  They sat. The room suddenly seemed so bleak, like someone had turned the wattage down on a bright, sunny afternoon. The abrupt withdrawal of heat sent a carousel of chills swirling through her and Rosie pulled the throw Beth kept over the back of the sofa around her shoulders.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie,” Rosie murmured. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed.”

  Beth shook her head. “No, this is me. I…” She broke off, her tears too persistent to ignore. “I just need to lie down.”

  Not waiting for Rosie to stop her, Beth rose, patted Meggie on the head and shuffled, throw and all into the bedroom. She shut the door behind her and let the tears fall.

  Rosie and Meggie were gone when Beth finally emerged. She hadn’t been sleeping when Rosie had rapped lightly on her door, telling her they were heading out. She had been staring absently and unblinkingly at the looming space across her bed, wondering why it had been empty for so long. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t had options. Yet, every guy who had ever asked her out seemed so bleak in comparison to the love she’d had fo
r Cole. Just looking at them had broken her heart, because she had known she would never be as happy has she had been. Part of her blamed her own stupidity for the emptiness, but it hadn’t been only her. He had broken a piece of her that, ironically, he had helped mend. That too was her foolishness. She had given him the power to break her and he had. She let her guard down, let him climb over her walls and now she stood amongst the rubble, cold, empty and alone.

  What did that say about her?

  Outside the window, through the lace curtains, the world dimmed. Inside, silence was an ice-cased blanket draped over her. Her apartment, her place of safety and sanctuary, felt endless and cold. And nothing felt familiar. The very air felt alien.

  Get a grip! The voice in her head hissed. You got over him once. You can do it again.

  But had she? Had she really? Would it hurt as badly as it did if she had moved on? The last four years felt like she’d been on standstill, going through the motions of life, but not really being part of it. It hadn’t really dawned on her until he had walked back into her life. Now it was all she could think about.

  After circling her apartment for the eighth time, Beth stopped. She glanced at the fridge and wondered if there was anything she could eat that didn’t require the use of her hands. She knew she had fruit. She could make a smoothie. But she had to open the fridge door, then the crisper. Then bring down the blender, a cup, and find a straw. That was a lot of hand requirement.

  She sighed.

  Maybe she’d just starve. It seemed like the easier of the two options.

  Resigned, she dropped down onto the sofa and stared at the crystal bowl filled with colorful stones, trying not to think of food. The setting sun shimmered across their smooth surface and glinted off the curve of the dish itself. The stones reminded her of grapes.

  Her stomach whimpered.

  “Damn it!”

  Mumbling, she got to her feet and shuffled reluctantly to the fridge. She eyed the handle, stalling while bolting down her courage; small pain for sustenance. It was a fair trade, right?

  She took a gulping breath.