Bye-Bye Baby

by Morgana Phoenix

  Realizing he was getting nowhere, Cole pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “I was thinking we could get ice cream after supper and then finish our book. That is, if you’re up for it.”

  “Yeah!” Calla lunged to her feet and whirled around to face him. “Can we go now?”

  “Have you had supper?”

  Her smile drooped into a sulk. “No…”

  “Then no.” He tweaked her nose. “But afterwards, we’ll get into the car and take a drive into town.”

  “Yay!” she cheered, doing a little hop on the balls of her feet. “Is Willa coming?”

  Cole nodded. “Yup, and Damon.”

  All enthusiasm vanished off her face. “Why?”

  “Because it wouldn’t be fair.”

  “But we’re your kids, not him!”

  “He kind of is my kid, Cal. I’m the one raising him right now and I care about him.”

  “More than me and Willa?”

  “Cal.” Carefully, he took her small, balled fists and massaged the stiffness from them until they unfurled and splayed across the width of his palm. It never failed to amaze him how small she was. “The love I have for you two doesn’t even exist in any language. But that love has room for others, like your mommy, and Uncle Sloan, and Beth—”

  “And Damon?”

  He thought of the rare grins Damon would occasionally give him and the tightness it always brought to Cole’s chest.

  “Yeah,” he said at last. “And Damon and any other brothers and sisters you may or may not have in the future. That is what family is, Cal. It’s loving someone, even when you’re angry with them.”

  “But he’s not family!” Calla protested. “He’s nobody.”

  “Everyone is someone, Calla. Everyone.”

  Lily didn’t come out for supper. Sloan got the girls fed and ready for Cole to take out. Willa bounded down the steps with all the enthusiasm of a kid on her way to see Santa. Calla dragged her feet down every step like she was being marched to the electric chair. Cole made no comment as he buckled both girls into the back. He got behind the wheel and pulled out his phone.

  Beth answered on the second ring.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey.” He pushed the keys into the ignition, turned it to get the engine warmed up. “I got the girls. We’re on our way home to grab you and Damon.”

  “Us?”

  “Yeah, you guys like ice cream, don’t you?”

  There was a pause where he knew she was frowning at the phone.

  “I thought we agreed—”

  “Change of plans.”

  Beth sighed. “Okay, I’ll ask Damon if he’s up for taking a walk. We were in the middle of an alien invasion. You might have just ruined earth’s chances of survival.”

  Cole chuckled. “Tell him I’ll make it up to him.”

  They said goodbye and he pushed down on the gas.

  Beth and Damon were waiting for him in front of the apartment building when he pulled up. Beth had bundled the kid from head to toe so all anyone could make out were his intense blue eyes and the annoyance in them.

  “Damon!” Willa scrambled out of the car and bolted across the sidewalk. Her tackle hug nearly took them both to the ground. “We’re getting ice cream!”

  Cole offered his hand to Calla and was ignored. The girl slid out and glowered hard at the ground. Cole left her to it. He slammed the door shut and motioned her to join the others.

  “You know it’s not exactly winter yet,” he teased Beth, nodding towards Damon. “You probably could have waited on the boots and ski pants.”

  Beth grimaced sheepishly. “I don’t know how this kid thing works. I didn’t want him to get cold. And honestly, who gets ice cream in November?”

  “We do.” He slipped an arm around Calla. “It’s a tradition.”

  “And the walnut one is good, too! Oh and rainbow!”

  Cole stepped around Willa and her excited chatter to kneel in front of Damon. “What do you say we take some of this off?”

  Damon nodded enthusiastically.

  Cole helped him take everything off except the jacket, gloves and hat, and since he had no other shoes with him, his boots. He bunched the rest up and tossed them into the backseat of the car.

  About thirty pounds lighter, Damon visibly relaxed. He fell into step alongside a skipping Willa, who resumed her animated babble about all the different ice creams. She held on to his hand as they walked, something Damon didn’t seem to mind.

  “Uncle Cole lets me get two scoops,” she told him. “But we’re not supposed to tell Mommy. She says I’m too little for two scoops. Hey!” She peered up into his face. “Maybe you can get three scoops ‘cause you’re bigger than me.”

  “Two scoops,” Cole said. “You graduate to three scoops when you’re a teenager.”

  Willa pursed her lips regretfully. “Sorry.”

  Damon didn’t look to care how many scoops he got. He seemed pensive and a little uncertain.

  At Grandma’s Second Scoops, Cole yanked open the door and ushered the others inside. Calla was last, scuffling up behind the group like a stray puppy. Cole didn’t rush her. They’d had their talk, badgering at her would only make matters worse.

  “You know what you want?” he asked the girl when she was over the threshold.

  Calla said nothing but she ambled over to the second display window housing an assortment of flavors and colors. It was also the display case Willa and Damon weren’t at.

  “She okay?” Beth slipped her arm through his.

  “She will be.” He eased his own arm around her shoulders. “She just needs to get used to the idea.”

  “I remember you bringing her here every Saturday and she’d pick whatever you were having.”

  Cole chuckled. “Yeah, things were simple then. Now she’s all about expressing her feelings and finding out who she is. Funny thing is, I love her all the more for it, for becoming her own little person.”

  “I know what I want!” Willa spun around, finger stabbing at the glass.

  Cole untangled himself from Beth and moved in to see what had the girl all excited. It was such a treat seeing her spark to life, even if it was something as small as ice cream. Willa was usually the wallflower next to Calla and only seemed to come to life when Damon was around. At the same time, it was only around Willa that Damon seemed the most at ease. He wondered if that was because Willa was so small and fragile, or because Willa was always genuinely happy to see him, but Cole wasn’t about to question any of it.

  “Butterscotch pecan,” he read out loud. “Good choice.” He settled a gentle hand on Damon’s shoulder. “See anything you like?”

  The shoulder rose and fell under his palm in indecision.

  “Well, what’s your favorite flavor?”

  Damon slipped out from under Cole’s hand and edged back. His hands disappeared into his pockets and he glowered hard at the square slabs of stone beneath his feet.

  “I don’t want any.”

  Cole blinked in surprise. His gaze shot to Beth and got a shrug of confusion in return.

  Beth moved towards Damon. “Why not?”

  His head came up, his eyes livid. “I don’t!”

  “Hey.” Cole put a hand out to stop Beth’s progression. “If you don’t want any, that’s fine. Beth doesn’t like ice cream in the winter either.”

  Damon didn’t say anything in return. He went back to glaring at his feet.

  Cole left him there and moved to the other display and an equally annoyed Calla. Was he ever going to win?

  “Hey, know what you want?”

  “I want him to go away!” She speared a finger towards Damon. “He doesn’t belong here.”

  “Calla!” Cole’s sharp growl was broken only by Willa’s, “Don’t say that!”

  “He’s not family!” Calla screamed over both their cries of outrage. “He’s a stupid jerk and he should just … die!”

  “Damon!” Beth’s exclamation jerked Cole around just
as the boy darted out of the ice cream shop, slamming his tiny body into the glass and disappearing into the night.

  The sharp tinkle of the bells over the door muffled Willa’s weeping and Beth’s cry of Damon’s name. Cole’s feet pivoted, torn between turning to his daughter and running after Damon.

  His mind made the decision.

  “Take them home!” he barked out before hurrying out after Damon.

  He was at the end of the block when Cole caught up to him. Despite his very aggressive pace to get away, Cole easily managed to scoop him up into the air and drag Damon into his chest.

  “Hold on!” he shouted over Damon’s thrashing. “Just calm down for a second, Damon!”

  “Let go!”

  “I will, but don’t run, okay?”

  Damon didn’t respond. The fact that he stopped struggling spoke for him.

  Cole gently set him down on a low wall separating the park from the street. He sat next to him.

  “It’s not true—”

  “Why did you save me?”

  Cole frowned. “What—?”

  His head came up, his face scrunched with more anger than someone that small should ever possess. “Why didn’t you let me die?”

  “That’s not even an option, Damon.” He started to put out a hand, but the quick tension in his small frame had Cole jerking his hand back. “Calla’s just upset. I know she didn’t mean the things she said.”

  “She’s right! I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere.”

  Cole bent his head to the side. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because I’m not a good person.” He looked down at his knees. “I’m just like my dad.”

  “Damon.” Cole ignored the boy’s flinch and gently touched his shoulder. “You’re six years old. The only person you can possibly be like is yourself.”

  “I hurt people.”

  Cole shook him gently until the boy looked up. “That too is your choice. You can choose to be that person who hurts people, or you can choose to be someone who helps others, someone who grows up to be a good, kind man people respect.”

  “Like you?”

  “No.” He let his hand slide away. “Like yourself. I know you’re a good kid. I’ve seen you with Willa. She adores you.”

  Damon shook his head. “I told her to stay away. She doesn’t listen.”

  Cole chuckled. “Yeah, she’s stubborn like her mother.”

  “She needs to stay away.” His hands balled against his thighs. “I’ll just hurt her.”

  “Do you want to hurt her?”

  “No!” Damon’s head came up so fast, it was a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. “She’s the only person who doesn’t think I’m a worthless little fuck.”

  “Whoa! Hey there!”

  Frustration and something else darkened across his face and he looked away. “I shouldn’t have been born.”

  Getting off the wall, Cole knelt in front of the boy, putting himself in his line of vision so he had no choice, but to meet Cole’s gaze.

  “Now you listen to me.” He waited until he had Damon’s full attention before speaking again. “What your father did, the way he hurt you, that is not on you. You did nothing to deserve any of it. But he’s gone now and whatever choices you make from this moment on, it’s on you. You can be a better person, or you can be like him. But I’ve seen the good in you and I believe that you will be one hell of a young man when you get bigger, if you let yourself.”

  A tear caught the streetlamp behind Cole and slipped down Damon’s cheek. Cole gently brushed it away and kept his palm against the side of Damon’s face. He smiled up at him.

  “Now, what do you say about that ice cream?”

  Damon dropped his gaze. “I’ve never had ice cream.”

  Cole blinked. “Never?”

  The boy shook his head, his cheeks pink from more than just the cold.

  “Oh, well, we cannot have that.” He snatched the boy up, swung him around and hoisted him up onto his shoulders. He marched back towards the ice cream parlor. “If you are staying in this family, you need to love ice cream. It might be the only deal breaker. I personally vote for mint chocolate chips. But we’ll try them all until you find the one you like.”

  “Cole?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do … do you think I could try the pink one?”

  “You mean strawberry?” Cole shrugged. “Why not? It’s a good place as any.”

  “That’s okay?”

  “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  Damon was quiet for a moment.

  “My dad says pink is for faggots.”

  Cole stopped so abruptly, Damon grabbed his face to keep from getting thrown off. He reached up, grabbed the boy and gently lowered him down onto his feet. Then he knelt in front of him.

  “Your dad…” Cole bit back the many, many things he would have liked to say. “Was wrong,” he finished tightly. “If you want pink ice cream, we’re getting you pink ice cream.”

  Damon’s hands opened and closed rapidly at his sides with his hesitation. “I … I like pink.” The confession was followed by a twitch in his face, like he was fighting between standing his ground and flinching back.

  Cole straightened. “Why wouldn’t you?” he asked in an even, matter of fact tone. “A lot of really great things come in pink. Cotton candy, candy hearts … Oh! Girls!”

  Damon’s brows contracted in a frown. “Girl’s aren’t pink.”

  Cole grinned. “But they like pink. Close enough.”

  The boy’s face softened into an almost grin. “Willa likes purple.”

  Nodding, Cole slid his arm around Damon’s shoulders. “Another really nice color.”

  Beth and the girls were gone when they returned to the ice cream parlor and got Damon his very first cone and two large scoops of strawberry ice cream. The boy held it in both hands and stared at it for the first block before giving it the tiniest lick with just the tip of his tongue. Cole watched him from the corner of his eye and bit back his grin with every flicker of new emotion on the boy’s face. Neither spoke, and that was fine too. The silence was soothing.

  The car was gone when they got to the apartment building. Cole jingled his keys inside his pocket as he contemplated what to do next.

  “Want to make a stop with me?”

  Damon looked up, his chin, cheeks and most of his mouth covered in pink. “Okay.”

  He dug out his phone and texted Beth quickly to let her know he got Damon and they were heading out just in case she got home before them. Then he placed an arm around Damon’s shoulders and led him to Danny’s Dime A Dozen.

  They beat Beth home. Cole and Damon were sitting on the couch killing aliens when she shuffled through the door. She dropped her keys on the kitchen island, tossed off her coat, and crawled on Damon’s other side. Her arm eased around his shoulders and he leaned into her side without a single prompting.

  She smoothed a hand over his hair and brushed a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay?”

  Damon nodded. “I got strawberry ice cream.”

  Beth smiled down at him and brushed a dried smudge of the treat off his cheek. “I see that. Did you get any of it inside you, or are you wearing most of it?”

  Damon grinned. “I ate it.”

  Chuckling, she kissed his head again and lifted her face to peer at Cole. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.” He leaned over and met her mouth over Damon’s head for a kiss. “How’d it go?”

  She shook her head sadly. “Calla was upset the whole way. Willa was worse. I feel so bad for Sloan right now.”

  Cole sighed. “I’ll…” He checked his watch. “It’s still early. I could probably be there in time for bed.”

  Beth nodded. “I think that would be good.”

  Rubbing a hand over his face, Cole got to his feet. “Maybe I should call first. Lily’s sick and it’s probably enough of a mess over there without me joining in.”

  Leaving Beth and
Damon on the sofa, he moved to the kitchen, dialing Sloan’s phone. He pressed the device to his ear while he threw open the cupboard and searched for snacks. It rang four times before his brother picked up.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey.” Cole grabbed out a bag of chips off the shelf. “How are things over there?”

  Sloan sighed. “A disaster.”

  He set the bag down. “Need me to come over?”

  “No, I got the girls in bed early. I think they’re both exhausted and just need to sleep.”

  “I’m really sorry, Sloan.”

  “For what?”

  “For not handling the situation better.”

  Something groaned and Cole guessed it was the ratty chair in Sloan’s office. “Between Willa, Calla, and Beth, I got most of the story and I’ll be honest, I’m not wholly impressed with Calla’s behavior, but I’ll let you deal with her in the morning. I’ll be dropping her off at school, but I think you should grab her after.”

  Cole nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

  He hung up and left his phone on the counter. His mind was still replaying the events of that evening as he dumped the chips into a bowl and returned to the sofa.

  Cole dressed the next morning in gray trousers and a gray tie over the pale, baby pink dress shirt he’d bought the night before on his outing with Damon. He deliberately left his blazer off when he left the bedroom to find Damon sitting at the counter eating dry cereal and Beth packing his lunch.

  Damon saw him first. His blue eyes bulged and the mouthful of cereal he’d taken lodged in his throat. He coughed and nearly slipped off his stool.

  “Are you all right?” Beth hurried around the counter and steadied him, her hand patting him on the back.

  Damon said nothing, but his watery gaze remained fixed on Cole’s top. They only flittered away once to peek at Beth, then back again.

  “What?” Cole grinned at him. “Did I miss a spot shaving?”

  Damon shot a glance towards Beth again, as if waiting for her to say something. But Beth stared from him to Cole and back again with absolute bewilderment.

  Moving closer, he draped his blazer over a stool and smoothed a hand down his tie. “Like my new shirt? Damon helped me pick it out.”

  He could have tossed Damon into a pit of alligators for the way the boy’s face paled. He started to shake his head, but Beth didn’t seem to notice.