Tracker’s Sin

by Sarah McCarty

  “So, where are the Comancheros now?”

  “Still north of here.”

  “How did that happen?”

  Zach smiled and shrugged. “They were delayed at Jake’s Point.”

  “How long do we have?”

  “We’ll be cutting it close. Anger makes a man ride harder.”

  “So does greed,” Tracker added drily.

  “True.”

  “Sneaking is going to be tough. One cry from Miguel…”

  Zach knelt and sketched the area. “I have a plan. When we get to Borracho, here, I will take the horses and ride around. They will see the tracks. They will follow.”

  “And while you’re doing that?”

  “You will climb the canyon wall.”

  “If they catch you, Zach, it won’t be pretty.”

  He shrugged. “Then I won’t be caught.”

  “There is a difficulty with the plan,” Shadow interrupted.

  “What?”

  “If they’re at Jake’s Point, we can’t wait to avoid the heat of the day. We’ll have to climb as soon as we get there.”

  It would be brutal for a man to make a climb that steep with the summer sun beating down. For a woman and child, it would be almost impossible.

  “From what I saw, I am not sure Ari will make it,” Zach said cautiously.

  “She’ll make it,” Tracker countered. If he had to carry her himself.

  “Even if he has to carry her,” Shadow added.

  Tracker stood. His twin stood right along with him. “What is your problem?” Tracker demanded.

  “You care too much about her.”

  “What business is that of yours?”

  “I’m the one who will have to watch you hurt.”

  “I’ve hurt before.”

  Shadow shook his head. “Not like this. You’ve never given your heart.”

  Zach stood in turn and rubbed out the map with his boot. “The heart goes where the heart goes, Shadow. It is a man’s lot to follow.”

  “Who the hell told you that?”

  “Mi padre.”

  “And he was an authority?”

  “He taught me everything I know.”

  Tracker wasn’t surprised when Shadow didn’t scoff. Zach was loyal to the core. A down-and-dirty fighter who always came out on top. He commanded loyalty the way others commanded smiles. He was a good man. Sam’s best. And he was risking his life again for Hell’s Eight.

  “Then I guess I won’t be arguing.” Shadow rolled a cigarette and placed it, unlit, in his mouth. They couldn’t risk the scent to smoke carrying in the night breeze.

  “When you get back to Hell’s Eight, you can light that.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  “I want a hot meal.” Tracker sighed. “I’m getting damn tired of trail food.”

  Shadow grabbed a pouch out of a saddlebag. “We’ve got jerky and cornbread.”

  Tracker glanced over at Ari. Miguel was done feeding, but was still fussing.

  “Could her milk be drying up?”

  “Jesus, she’s not a cow, Shadow.”

  “Not surprising, the way we’ve been dragging her all over creation.”

  “If he is hungry, it will be a problem keeping him quiet tomorrow,” Zach said, all joking gone.

  “Yeah.” Could a body even gag a baby?

  “You will have to give him something to eat to take his mind off his stomach.”

  Tracker set aside a biscuit.

  Shadow nodded. “That will do. I’ll bring it to her.”

  He took the food over to Ari. She stiffened slightly as he sat down, but didn’t tell him to go to hell. And when he broke off a smidgen of biscuit and put it on Miguel’s tongue, Tracker saw her relax.

  Zach clapped him on his shoulder. “They will work it out, my friend.”

  “She’ll probably be gone before there’s a resolution.”

  “Maybe, but remember, not all things that start bad end that way.”

  “You keep believing that.” But he wasn’t taking a chance on Shadow’s and Ari’s truce falling apart tonight. Tracker went to sit beside Ari.

  Shadow stood. “Zach and I will take watch.”

  He was giving them privacy. Tracker nodded. “Thank you.”

  By the time Shadow reached Zach, the biscuit softened on Miguel’s tongue, and the boy stopped trying to spit it out, his eyes bugged.

  Tracker laughed. “He’s Hell’s Eight for sure.”

  She looked at him, surprised. “What makes you think that?”

  “Because there isn’t a man on Hell’s Eight who isn’t in love with biscuits.”

  The boy’s arms waved as he finished the biscuit. Tracker broke a piece off his and put it on Miguel’s tongue.

  “He’s a good boy.”

  “Yeah. He is.” A boy who might have been his son, had life been different.

  Ari watched Miguel chew. Was she making sure he didn’t choke or avoiding Tracker’s gaze? “I’m thinking of changing his name.”

  In that case, likely the latter. “Why would you do that?”

  “Josefina named him after who I thought was his father. Antonio Miguel. Knowing what I know now, I don’t want him to carry that taint.”

  “It’s how he’s raised that’s going to matter.”

  “I know.” She looked up. “But what if I don’t do it right?”

  “I imagine every parent has that worry.”

  “But I don’t have any memories to draw from.”

  That had to be terrifying. “You’re doing fine.”

  She was scared and wanting reassurance. The longing to be held was in her eyes. Tracker would give her anything she wanted, but the first move had to come from her. He’d burned all the bridges he could spare.

  “Tracker.” She rested Miguel on the blanket. He lay quietly, blinking sleepily.

  “Yeah?”

  “Could you hold me for just a minute?”

  He opened his arms. She moved in. Things were right as soon as her cheek rested against his chest. “What’s up?”

  “I saw Zach talking to you earlier. None of you looked happy.”

  “And that’s got you worried?”

  “Yes.”

  “We were discussing tomorrow’s plan.”

  “What do you need me to do?”

  “Eat and rest.”

  “Translated, that means it’s going to be strenuous.”

  “Yes. We’ll be climbing.”

  “I’m sorry I got you into this.”

  “You didn’t get me into anything.” He rubbed his hand up her back. “But you led me a merry chase.”

  “And now you’ve found me.”

  “Yup.” He wanted to kiss the top of her head, the curve of her ear, the fullness of her mouth. He wanted to kiss her until the worry left her expression and passion filled it. He wanted to kiss her until she was too weak and too satisfied to ever consider walking away.

  There was a long pause while Ari rested against him. Probably to everyone else she appeared to be resting, but he could feel the tension building inside her. He waited for her to get to the point.

  “Is she really waiting for me?”

  He knew who she was talking about. “Desi sets a place for you at the table every day.”

  “That could just be for show.”

  Tracker figured Desi would forgive him for this particular revelation. “Every night, Caine says she cries that your chair goes empty.”

  Ari had no comment on that. “What is she like?”

  “She’s like you. Full of spit and fire. She makes Caine laugh, when we’d all thought he’d forgotten how.”

  Ari played with the fringe on his shirt. “Is Caine good to her?”

  “You wouldn’t think Caine would be a romantic man, but he spoils that woman, and he’d fillet anyone that brought a tear to her eyes.”

  “He loves her.”

  “With everything in him, and that’s a lot.” The little Tracker could see
of her expression looked skeptical. “You’ve got to understand, Ari, that none of the Hell’s Eight have had an easy life. If it hadn’t been for Tia, we would have lost any sense of conscience before we hit twenty.”

  “Tia?”

  “The real head of Hell’s Eight. The one who keeps us human. Since the massacre, we’ve been living more for revenge. That eats at a man. Makes him hard inside. When a man finds something that takes that loneliness away, he holds on to it. No matter what.”

  “That’s not love.”

  “It’s Hell’s Eight love. Absolute, with no looking back.”

  “And Caine, Sam and Tucker have found that something?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about you? Do you love that way?”

  “I’ve never had the pleasure of being in love before. But I can tell you this, I’m as all-or-nothing as the rest of Hell’s Eight.”

  “You can’t love me.”

  Out of that whole speech, she’d picked up on the one thing he hadn’t meant to reveal. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “It doesn’t make sense. We hardly know each other.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m not even a whole person.”

  That was going too far. “A person is more than their memories, but with or without yours, you still have your sense of humor, your courage, your temper—”

  “I don’t have a temper.”

  “The hell you don’t.”

  She amended the claim. “I try not to have a temper.”

  “That I’ll allow.”

  She sat back and put her hands on her hips. “Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?”

  “Who are you to tell me the same?”

  “I didn’t tell you to do anything.”

  “You told me I couldn’t love you.”

  She shifted in his grip. “Well, you can’t.”

  “As I said, I’ll keep it in mind.”

  “You’re not very obedient.”

  “Probably because, in bed, I give the orders.”

  That drew a small gasp, but she didn’t move away. He could work with that.

  “I’m thinking about sitting you across my lap and taking advantage of this rock as a back rest. How does that sound?”

  “Perfect!”

  He chuckled. “Your back hurting that bad?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Come here then, sweets, and let me make it all better.”

  He held out his arms. She went back into his embrace and he pulled her onto his lap as though she belonged there.

  The trust she showed with that simple gesture humbled him. She was a smart woman, a sweet woman and a trusting one. A woman who led with her heart. A woman who made a man’s home a haven. A woman who needed a man’s protection to flourish.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking if your daddy was here he’d be feeding my balls to the dogs.”

  “You think?”

  “Yup.”

  “My daddy was a forgiving man, but he would have had something to say about my sitting on your lap in public.”

  Had she remembered her father? “Shadow and Zacharias don’t count as public.”

  “They don’t?”

  Nothing in her expression indicated she realized what she’d said. Instinct said it would be a bad move to point out the slip. Besides, she felt good in his lap. And as brutal as tomorrow was going to be, he needed a little peace now. “Nah, they’ll keep my secrets.”

  Ari’s hand crept up his shoulder to touch his neck just above the collar of his shirt. “Good.”

  A few minutes passed, then she said, “How bad is it going to be tomorrow, Tracker?”

  “Bad. You’re going to want to cry and give up.”

  “But I won’t.”

  He shook his head and kissed the top of hers. “No. You won’t.”

  “Why?”

  “Because once we get to the top of that canyon, we’ll be on Hell’s Eight land.”

  “So I’ve just got to get over that hill.”

  “One step at time. That’s all it’ll take.”

  “Thousands of one steps.”

  “But you only have to take them one at a time.”

  “It does sound more manageable when put that way.”

  “Good.”

  Minutes passed during which he thought she’d fallen asleep, but then she whispered, “Tracker?”

  Weariness was taking hold of him, too. In a few moments he’d have to go see what arrangements Shadow and Zach had made for keeping watch, but right now he could hold her as night fell, and pretend they were back on Hell’s Eight, sitting in a rocking chair on the big porch. In his fantasy, there was no threat of a past to come screaming forward to hack up any possibility of a future. Just two people enjoying each other’s company. “Yes?”

  Tilting her head back, she studied his face with blue eyes that were luminous in the dusk. “I heard what you said earlier. About never having loved anyone before.”

  Everything inside him went tight. It had been a long time since anyone dared mock him. His reaction was never good.

  “Do you think you love me, Tracker?”

  Think? He knew it. “What I feel is of no concern to you.”

  “What if I want it to concern me?”

  “Then I’d say for the first time since I’ve met you, I think you’re crazy.”

  Her hand crept around his side. The other slid around his neck. He looked down. Her blue eyes were soft in the light. Completely enchanting. His own private little witch woman weaving her spell… His cock went hard in a rush. Stupid thing didn’t even care that they had no privacy. It just wanted to be in her, part of her. Home.

  “We might die tomorrow.”

  It wasn’t a shock to hear her say it. He knew she was frightened.

  “I told you we’ll make it.”

  “I understand, but I want a memory.”

  “Of what?”

  Her fingers slid delicately up and down his neck. A tingle shot down his spine. “Of you, kissing me with love.”

  Could she feel the pending return of the memories? Did she fear what it would mean? “I’ve already kissed you.”

  “That was with passion.”

  He didn’t want to go there. If he let the emotion inside him out, he’d never be able to walk away. Or let her walk away.

  Her fingers closed into a fist.

  “You’re asking too much.”

  “You said once that you’d give me anything.”

  Yes, he had. And hell, what did it matter? He wanted that memory, too. He started unbuttoning her blouse.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to kiss you with love, but I want to see these pretty little breasts while I’m doing it.”

  “Zach and Shadow…”

  “Will respect our privacy, and even if they don’t, all they’ll see is me holding you.”

  He slid his hand inside her blouse and under her camisole, and cupped her breast in his palm. Her shiver was a balm to his conscience. “I like that,” he murmured.

  “What?”

  “Your nipple poking into my palm, demanding attention.”

  “A woman doesn’t make demands.”

  He laughed and kissed her nose. “You don’t have to make demands. Whatever you want in bed, I’ll give to you.”

  Resting her head against his shoulder, she pursed her lips in a silent order.

  He pressed his thumb against her mouth. He couldn’t remember having such natural innocence. He couldn’t match it, but he could value it. Cherish it. No matter what had happened to Ari before, this was the real woman. The woman who led with her heart and didn’t hold back. He spread tiny kisses from her temple to her mouth, gentling her with tenderness, because for all her big talk, she was nervous. Nervous of tomorrow, of him. Nervous of what she was asking, because she had to know there was no going back after this. Not for him. But just in case she didn’t, he rubbed his mouth
over hers, kissing the corners, touching them with his tongue, nibbling, enticing them to open with light, feathery little touches.

  “If we do this, there’s no going back.” He had to say it.

  Her fingers locked behind his neck. She touched her tongue to his lower lip. It was his turn to shiver. “All I have behind me are lies.”

  He held her gaze. “If I kiss you the way you’re asking, take from you what you’re offering, no matter what the future brings, no matter what you remember, I won’t let you go.”

  “Good.”

  Shit.

  She pulled him down, and he went, taking her mouth with a smooth thrust. Hungry for the taste of her, finding the same hunger in her. Kissing her for the first time, maybe the last time, with no barriers between them. Just two people in this moment. Kissing her until he couldn’t breathe, and then because he couldn’t stop. Kissing her as she’d asked. Kissing her as if he loved her.

  10

  Brutal didn’t begin to describe the next day’s journey. The ride was hard. The sun hot. Miguel, trapped in his cradleboard, was as hot as the rest of them, and refused to be soothed. It was a nonstop job to keep him from screaming too loudly. Even the silver cross Zacharias dangled in front of his face failed to work its magic. By the time they reached Drunk Hole, everyone’s nerves were on edge.

  It was easy to see the more frequented path they might have traveled. It snaked among the brush and rocks, worn deep from all the wildlife that relied on the water source. The path to the blind canyon was not so clear. At a bend in the trail, Shadow motioned for them to get down from the horses.

  “We’ll walk from here so we don’t leave any more of a trail than necessary.”

  From there they traveled single file. Ari carried Miguel on her back and wore a pair of Zach’s boots stuffed with socks. They hoped, from the size of the shoe and the depth of the impression, it wouldn’t be so obvious to anyone picking up the trail that she was female. Ari looked back at the wobbly tracks she made and shook her head. “Maybe they’ll think I’m drunk.”

  Zach smiled. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

  She executed a drunken stumble. Only Zach smiled. A closer look revealed it as being so fake it wasn’t worth bothering. The men exchanged glances and Zach gathered the reins of all the horses and led them away. He would circle around to lay a false trail.

  Shadow and Tracker constantly scanned the high walls of the narrow canyon. They walked in deeper. The walls loomed higher. A flock of crows flew up in front of them, calling a warning. Ari jumped.