“Yes. There were 3 children too.” I was amazed. It really did make sense. When I was a child, the day before my exams I always had a nightmare that my question paper took the shape of a monster and tried to bite my mother but the actual depiction of my dream was that if I failed my exam, my mother would be punished by my father for not having taught me properly.
“See, I told you. You feel yourself incapable to raise children of your own. It’s natural, it happens to everyone. Don’t worry; it’s just your mind which is trying to play with you. Nothing else.” She concluded with that and slept in my lap.
The sun was about to bid adieu when I asked her about the surprise.
“So where’s my surprise?”
“What surprise?”
“You said that there was a surprise for me?”
“When did I say that?”
I showed her the message, she ignored it and said she had forgotten about that. We then decided to head towards our homes. We reached her PG where she lived with 2 other girls. When I was about to leave, she revealed the surprise.
“Today I am all alone in the house and guests are invited in if they want.” She said with sexiness in her voice.
“But Myra.... ” She kept her finger on my lips.
“Be a man, Puneet.” That was enough to evoke the animal within me.
Her walk had never been as interesting to watch as it was at that time. A strange addictiveness was there, a strange magnetization was there, a strange pull was there; it was unbearable to resist and control the sensation which was flowing within me at that moment. I quietly started to follow her. She looked back for the last time before we reached her room; her smile was a little different from the usual one. I felt goose bumps all over my body. I felt cold.
Her room was specially decorated for the night. It was a dimly lit room with a strange aura encompassing it. She put on some soft music in the background. Everywhere I looked, I could see mostly red. Red is a very strange color, it gets noticed by men only after they fall in love. The highlight of the room was the heart shaped printed bed sheet on the only bed in there. It was looking childish as well as romantic. A strange dilemma was running across my mind. Just a few minutes back, I was wondering so many things and now the only thing I could see was the craziness of my girl, Myra. She had to be a magician; she couldn’t just be a simple girl.
As I was busy taking in the beauty of the room, Myra took her position on the bed and said it all with her eyes. Her deep necked kurta was now showcasing her valuable assets the most. Each and every curve of her body was perfectly carved and was driving me crazy. I had never felt so hard before. But I didn’t know why, I was still resisting myself. I started to steal my gaze away from her. Maybe there were still some doubt in my head or maybe I was still not ready to take up responsibilities, as Myra had said.
Myra instantly sensed the battle between my heart and mind. It was like she had read my thoughts. She got up from the bed and held my hand. That touch was enough to make me believe that this moment was the most sacred of my life. I would never again have to travel through the ups and downs of my life alone, she would be with me. She would be mine forever, till the end of this life and after that too. I had never felt so pure before. It took seconds for my thoughts to drift away from the dilemmas of my life to enjoying this moment. Her mere touch answered all my questions. I smiled at her.
She went back to her position and let me sit beside her. She started unbuttoning my shirt. With each button, I felt my heart rate increasing. After taking off my shirt, for some seconds, she admired my well-built physique and then lost control and started to kiss me all over my chest. I raised my head, looking at heaven as if thanking God for this blissful moment. She then moved to my ears and bit my ear lobe. I felt the pain but that too gave me pleasure. I didn’t know when my hands started to explore her body. From her waist to her breast, each body part was getting rubbed by my hand. Suddenly I pulled her closer, pulling her waist which was a bit of a surprise for Myra. She felt good to see that the heat was on in both of us. She smiled again and then giving her yet another surprise, my lips met hers. I stopped myself abruptly but then all of a sudden, Myra grabbed me by my neck and started to kiss me much more passionately. We continued sucking each other’s tongue for quite a long time before we had to stop to take some air in.
She stood up and removed her kurta. Her black bra was finding it pretty difficult to hold back her beauty. She freed her breasts too and threw her bra on my face. I lost all control once again and left the bed to grab them in my hands. Like a wild animal, I pushed her till we reached the corner of the room. I continued to squeeze and occasionally lick the best organ of her body. She moaned louder than I expected. Her one hand was busy running over my head and pressing it more over her body and the other was trying to scratch my back using her nails. While making love, pain is the measure of passion. I again kissed and played with her tongue; this time much longer than before. Both of us were now out of breath. I was living my fantasy.
She again held both my hands and let me sit on the corner of the bed. She sat next to the bed on the floor and started to remove my pants. Oh my God! That was the exact replica of what I had fantasized in my bathroom numerous times. A feeling of deja vu flashed across my mind for a moment. I thought that it was to be the start of oral sex but I was not that lucky. She kicked me on my chest to make me fall on the bed and enjoy the start of the last phase. She knew exactly how to provoke a man and when to do so. She then removed her jeans and at the same moment I felt something fly in front of my eyes, as if a slide which quickly rolled over. I totally ignored it. Myra then removed her black panty, revealing the slightly hairy organ between her legs. I again felt the same weird sensation. A sudden fear grabbed my senses.
She lay next to me and helped me adjust my cock to go inside her. I pushed myself inside her, she cried like hell.
“We shouldn’t have done this.” She said.
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine. Trust me.” I said.
Both our bodies were moving in sync. She moved like a fish over me and continued to moan, curse and cry out my name.
Another flash of the girl took over my thoughts. She was crying for me but I was getting dragged away from her.
I was about to come inside her. I wanted to pull away before the ejaculation but Myra had completely lost her mind, and she didn’t let me quit. She continued to move over me with much more strength than before.
She was standing alone in the mist. I went closer to her. There were 3 children with her. I couldn’t see anyone’s face but I still felt like I knew them all. I cried out their names, although I remembered nothing. They didn t reply and disappeared. I turned and saw a child in the mist. Before my vision could get clearer, I heard, ‘Hey Dad!’ Rishi!!!!
I withdraw myself instantly. I was totally fear struck. I didn’t know the reason but the only thing I knew was that something was wrong and that it was terribly horrifying.
Myra understood that I had seen ‘the girl’ again. She quickly grabbed me in her arms and tried to nullify my fear with her care. I took time to recover but it helped. We both grabbed our clothes and quietly tried to sleep. But I knew that if I slept, I would see her again. I didn’t sleep.
Chapter 13
Cold water was trying to pierce my body to remove all the worries and fill up my soul with fresh energy as I was standing under the shower in my bathroom. I had plenty of time to spend in the shower and this led to thoughts of Myra and the night out with her. I felt a strange sensation down below, in my groin area. I closed my eyes and my hand automatically travelled the distance. Myra’s beauty was irresistible for me. I started to shake, to relax and enjoy.
I sensed someone else too. I opened my eyes, covered my private area and looked around; no one was there. I was terrified. I surely felt the pair of eyes watching me from somewhere. I decided to come out of the shower. I looked for my towel; there was none. My eyes fell on the mirror. I couldn’t see m
y reflection. But I could see that girl, holding my towel. She handed me the towel and apparently came out of the mirror. She was just a few inches away from me. She smiled.
I woke up panting heavily. My eyes fell on the watch close by. Just 15 minutes of sleep. In totality, for the last 5 days, I had just slept for around 2 hours. That ‘dream girl’ of mine was giving me a real hard time. ‘Who was she?’ ‘What did she want from me?’ ‘If dreams have meaning than what did she symbolize?’ Oh! I think I need my medicine.
I took the medicine and then saw my reflection in the mirror. My reflection was showing a guy who was almost 5 years older to me. Dark circles below my eyes were getting darker with the passage of more and more sleepless nights. I was suffering from insomnia. I was afraid to sleep, I was afraid to see that horrible girl again in my dreams.
In the meanwhile my relationship with Myra was getting tested harder. She had to bear my mood swings every second but she didn’t lose hope, she was the only strength I had in my hard times. My mom was continuously suggesting that I consult Dr. Uncle for these problems and get the medicine I had been taking all this time changed.
Actually, these nightmares were not new to me. A few years back, I had met with a fatal accident. That day, God had showered His pity on me; otherwise there were no chances for my survival. That accident affected my mind much more than it affected my body. The scars on my body slowly faded with time but the scars on my mind remained. I started to have nightmares. I started to relive the accident every night. Those were so real and so horrible that I had to consult my uncle for medical help. My uncle, Mr. Sharad Taneja, was a psychiatrist. He studied my problem and using some hypnotic sessions, he tried to fix me up. He tried to erase that accident night from my mind. He gave me some medicines too for future use.
Although this psychiatric help had worked for me in the past, it ended up leaving a feeling of guilt within me. I felt inferior because I hadn’t been able to fight my inner troubles by myself. My mind had played some tricks on me and I was totally shattered. So shattered that I had to rush to take psychiatric help! I felt like a loser.
That feeling of guilt was still within me. I wanted to fight it out alone this time. I didn’t want to rush to anyone for help. I was not a loser any more. I had Myra with me and that was enough for me.
‘Let’s meet up for coffee. ’
‘Sure. Where?’
‘That’s a silly one. At Maya’s, do we ever meet anywhere else for coffee?’
‘LOL.’
After a sleepless night on Saturday, this cheerful prospect on my mobile screen could be the only reason for an instant smile on my face. Myra’s message took away the laziness of the Sunday morning and filled the day with joy for me.
Before taking a shower, I searched my private drawer for taking out my secret mate of the past few days. I pulled out a cigarette from an entire Wills packet, lit it and puffed the smoke. All those sleepless nights had given birth to a smoker within me.
I took a short shower, got ready within minutes, took the car keys and rushed to pick up Myra from her PG accommodation. As always she took almost an hour to show up, so to kill time I decided to smoke a few more cigarettes.
My thoughts were occupied with the two girls of my life. One was Myra and the other was that ‘dream girl’. I noticed the smoke coming out of my mouth; it floated up to kiss the sky but disappeared in the path itself. I exhaled once again, and a similar thing happened, the smoke disappeared just like it had never existed. I did it again, the smoke started to rise up but this time it didn’t disappear; my pupils dilated. The smoke took the shape of the ‘same’ girl and started to stare at me. My body straightened automatically. The shape started to come down. My body froze. The ‘girl shaped smoke’ was now in front of my eyes; that ‘girl’ smiled and then vanished into thin air. Behind it, Myra was standing.
“You smoke?” Myra asked.
“Occasionally.” I tried to behave normally. I wanted to fight this situation. I was not a loser.
“For a smoker and a drinker, there are only two occasions when they smoke or drink; one, when it rains and the other when it doesn’t.” She said while sitting in the car next to me. “Leave it now.”
At Maya’s cafe, I felt at home. Ever since the day Maya had told me about her darker side, I felt much more attached to her. I felt like I knew her more than anyone else and at that moment, the way she was looking at Myra and me, I could say that she was very happy to see us together. My life comprised of very few people and I was very fortunate that each one of them was genuine and very close to my heart.
Before ordering anything, Maya came with our favorite coffee and sandwiches. Myra knew that Maya was a kind of a void filler in my life. She had started to admire her too.
We talked endlessly about different things. I wanted to get more involved physically as well but my nightmares were distracting me a lot. Myra knew that I was not feeling good; she wanted me to think about the happiness in my life rather than thinking about the problems. She wanted me to enjoy but I wasn’t able to.
While sipping my coffee, I looked outside the window pane next to me. The road in front of the cafe was empty. Just a beggar was sitting on the opposite street. That was a bit strange because I had never seen him before.
“Hello, are you like, ignoring me or something?” Myra brought my attention back to her. I said nothing.
“You are still thinking about the nightmares, right?” She said. “I think you should talk to your uncle about this. How long do you want to go on struggling like this? I am scared, Puneet.” She showed her concern. I had told her about my past and my medical background. I didn’t want to keep secrets from her.
Secrets are like rust on a relationship. They only make it lose its strength.
I said nothing; I had nothing to say at all. I just pretended to listen to Myra’s endless talks. I poured the extra cream over the coffee and continued to stir it. I had nothing else to do.
I picked up the coffee mug and brought it close to my lips when my eyes fell on it. She was there. The cream over the coffee had taken the shape of my nightmare. I threw the cup in fear and left my chair. Myra and Maya both looked terrified. I was panting as if I had run several miles. Then I sensed something looking at me through the window panel next to me. Slowly I turned my gaze. It showed the empty street outside; nothing else could be seen. Suddenly out of nowhere, that beggar came into the picture. He was leaning on the window panel. I could see his expressionless face, his head full of white hair. His eyes expressed a lot; I could see my fear in his eyes.
I wanted to run from there. Without explaining anything to anyone, I rushed out of the cafe. Myra followed me. We both sat in the car and were about to rush away when that old beggar came and started stroking the car with his bare hand.
“He has returned. Your past has returned. Follow your dreams.” I felt numb, terrified, shocked. I rushed my car away.
Nothing came to my mind. Myra said nothing. I wished that this could all be a dream and I would wake up any moment. But I knew that this was not a dream; this was reality.
I stopped my car in the middle of nowhere and started to cry. I cried like a baby who had lost his favorite toy. Myra tried to console me but I was out of my senses now. My nightmare girl had turned my life into hell and there was no escape from this nightmare now. I felt devastated.
Myra drove me back home. I talked to nobody and went directly to my room. That was the first time that Myra met my mother. They talked for a few minutes and then Myra took leave. Maybe she told my mom about my nightmares because after Myra left, mom came directly to my room and sat next to me. I was lying on the bed; awake. She took my head and put it on her lap. I felt relieved. I slept like a child. My mother’s warmth was all I needed at that time. I forgot everything for a while and slept peacefully.
The next day my mother forced me to go to my uncle’s clinic. I agreed. I picked up my car keys and left. But mid-way I changed my mind. I decided to rethink thin
gs. I went to a park and sat there for some time. I couldn’t stop thinking about the beggar. He had said “He has returned. Your past has returned. Follow your dreams.”
Who was he referring to, who had returned? Was he talking about Rishi? Your past has returned?’ Yes, Rishi could be referred to as past. Follow your dreams! Yes, that was the same thing Rishi had told me before leaving. What lay in my dreams? There was no particular dream of mine. I had very common dreams; just like every other person. Money, family and happiness; nothing else. Or did he mean something else? Was he referring to my nightmares? That girl who haunted me? But how could I follow her? Ahh! This was confusing. How badly I needed Rishi at that time! With these thoughts, I didn’t know when, my eyes closed, I dozed off and began to dream.
The whole surrounding was strangely calm and empty. No sound, no feeling, no smell; nothing was there. The only thing which could be seen was the color white. In normal conditions I would have been stricken with fear, but not today because I knew that I was dreaming.
I started to move forward. One part of me wanted to wake up and other wanted to know what was there in this Pandora’s Box. The white color was bright and seemed to be never ending; it wasn’t hurting, rather soothing my eyes. I kept on moving towards nowhere.
I felt someone holding my hand now. He was dragging me somewhere. I tried to look at him but my eyes got no visual. I still felt nothing. I just followed in peace. Slowly the whiteness faded and real world colors took its place. I again tried to peek from the corner of my eyes to see who was holding my hand and guiding me. It was Rishi! A strange happiness took over my heart. I smiled but with the fading whiteness, Rishi too faded.
I looked everywhere but there was nothing. I was in some college campus, I suppose. Students were wandering around me; no one seemed to be familiar. But then someone crossed me and it felt like I knew that person. That scent smelled familiar. I followed. It was a girl. I called out her name. She turned and then faded in thin air as if she never existed. The campus too faded.
Hey Dad! Meet My Mom Page 7
