Now I was in a forest; running to save my life from someone. I felt as if I was going to die. Then again it faded. I shouted out Rishi’s name. I didn t know why, but I called out to him. From nowhere Rishi came in front of me. He looked very serious. He was showing nothing on his face. His looks scared me. I thought it was some kind of a prank on his part but no, it was not.
“Hey Dad!” He said in a harsh voice. He raised his index finger to me and continued, “Meet my Mom.” I looked back and saw her. She was standing just behind me; with open hair and red eyes, she took my breath away in fear.
“I told you a lie.” Rishi continued. “I am not your future son; I am the one from your past.” Then he smiled, in a weird way. Both of them laughed, I was trembling in fear.
I woke up. I was sweating. I was panting. I was shaking in fear. I was sitting on a bench in a park. I took out my handkerchief from the back pocket of my trouser. I put that on my face to wipe the sweat away. When I removed it, I saw Rishi standing in front of me. That scared the hell out of me.
“Hey Dad!” He said and smiled. “Would you like to meet my mom now?”
I ran. I ran for my life. I picked my car and went to my uncle’s clinic. Rishi followed me sitting next to me in the car. He had a blank face; it was the scariest moment of my life.
There are some places in this world about which people say that before dying you should visit them at least once. Similarly, there are some places you would never like to visit and I was about to enter one of them; the clinic of a psychiatrist. It took loads of courage to even stare at the clinic’s board. It read ‘Dr. Sharad Ahuja’. I stood there, outside the clinic and was waiting for someone to push me inside. My heart beat was getting lowered and I was perspiring heavily.
A sudden urge of running far away from the place got ignited within me and at that particular moment I saw him, again, and that was enough for me to drop the idea and run inside the clinic.
“Hello Puneet!” Uncle was trying to make me feel comfortable, part of his job, but my comfort had been brutally killed by someone, sometime back.
“Hi...” I said without making any eye contact with the doctor. How could I make eye contact with a doctor when my eyes were busy looking for someone else?
“So Puneet, tell me, how can I help you?” Dr. asked and for the first time I looked at him. He was a man with a long white beard, maybe in his late forties, a little fat and constantly smiling. A trained clinical smile.
“I can see my son.” I said and instantly his smile vanished.
“So.... What’s the problem in that?” he looked more attentive now.
“I can see my son, 10 years old, a perfect carbon copy of my face cut. He talks to me, he roams with me everywhere I go and he never leaves me alone.” I was about to burst into tears. I choked.
“It’s all normal, Puneet, at 10 years of age some children behave a bit odd, there’s nothing to worry about.... ” He was getting everything wrong; I had to cut him in between to make my point clear. How could he consider my case as ‘normal’?
“I can see my son.” I shouted. “My son, who hasn’t yet taken birth; my son whom only I can see. I am not even married doctor and still........ I can see my son.”
Then I told him all about my nightmares and everything that was scaring me. He quietly listened to every idiotic thing I said, very calmly. I cried, I shouted, I consoled myself, I poured my heart out. I felt relieved.
After that I started to spend three days every week over there. He did some psychiatric sessions on me; hypnosis and other treatments. He put me under medication. Myra too started to go along with me each time. She gave me the strength I needed to face this failure. My mother looked worried. She started to spend more time with God; praying for me endlessly. Myra started to take immense care of me. Maya too visited a couple of times.
Everyone showed their concern, but concern was not enough to fight the situation. Nothing helped. Neither Rishi nor ‘that girl’ left my life. I tried to talk a few times with Rishi but he said nothing. He was not ready to leave me in peace. That blank face was way too scary. I missed my sweet, little Rishi now. This was not my Rishi, he was someone else.
My health was deteriorating. The insomnia was making me feel mad. I wanted to die, but my love for Myra was not letting me slip into the hands of death. Every night, I cried; every night I shouted. The nights were long and painful. I felt alone and there was no worse pain than this feeling of loneliness.
Chapter 14
Day is the witness of sunrise,
Night sustains till the moonlight dies.
Everything abides by routine.
Then what does this chaos in my life mean?
She was sobbing but I had no other choice, I had to ask her.
“What is it about me that you are hiding from me?” I asked her. ‘Tell me mom, I want to know about my past. What had happened that you are hiding from me?”
I was having a painful day at the bank. I just couldn’t concentrate on anything. Rishi was there and he was smiling. His smile was not the usual one. It was not like the one that induced the same effect over you, but the one which induced fear within your soul instead. I decided to go back home. I took a few days off from my work.
No one expected me to reach home so early. I thought that mom would have gone out grocery shopping but luckily I had a duplicate key, so there was no problem. Then a second thought struck me. I thought I should call Myra and take her for a movie or something. She was stressed out as well because of me. I had to show my love to her, I had to show my feelings for her.
I picked up my phone but then Rishi stopped me. He held my hand and with his expressionless, pale face, he said, “Go home.” Then he faded.
I felt scared for mom. Instantly I grabbed the steering wheel of my car, ignited the engine, gave it full throttle and headed towards home. Adrenaline was flowing within in full force. What were they up to now? Were they going to hurt my mother? No! I would not let this happen.
I parked my car in a rush and ran towards the door. I could hear my mother talking to someone. I tried to peek through the window. There was someone, but who? I tried another window for a clearer view. It was my uncle; the psychiatrist; Sharad uncle. What were they talking about and why had Rishi sent me here? There should be something important.
“The previous sessions seemed to have a hole because his memories of the past are leaking into his present and that’s what he sees in his dream. If I continue tampering with his memories further, there could be some permanent damages too.” Uncle said.
“But there should be some solution, right?” My mom seemed very worried.
“To get him out of the present situation, I think it would be better to just tell him the truth. About his past, the one which we have erased from his memory.”
“No! We can’t do that, Sharad. You know that we have come far away from that situation. He can’t be exposed to that shit feeling again. There has to be some other way. I can’t tell him about his past. He has his own version of the past. And that’s enough for him. I am his mother; I don’t want to throw my son back into the past from where it took us months to drag him back out, back to life.” Mom started to cry.
“Please don’t cry now. I’ll try my best to fight the situation again.” Sharad uncle left after that. I had no idea what were they talking about; the only thing I knew was that I had to dig into my past to know the answers. I wanted to know about the girl I was seeing in my dreams. I wanted to know the truth about Rishi. I wanted to know what my mother was hiding.
She was sobbing but I had no other choice, I had to ask her.
“What is it about me that you are hiding from me?” I asked her. “Tell me mom, I want to know about my past. What had happened that you are hiding from me?”
Chapter 15
10 years back...
St. Xavier’s College, one of the most prestigious colleges in Ahmedabad, and my dream college too. I was going to be travelling there all the way f
rom Delhi for my further studies. There was a lot of hustle bustle on the platform but I still managed to enter one of the reserved compartments of the train. Dreams wrapped in my eye lashes kept me awake the entire journey. It was sometime in mid-June, when dark clouds were kissing the sun asking him to disappear into the blanket of precipitation. I looked out of the window trying to stare at the passing shrubbery and realized we were all a part of the race of life, where everyone needed to run and if you stopped, someone else would step on you and win the race. I was, in my own way, trying to figure out how I would spend my Bachelor’s at Xavier’s. The whole journey turned out to be a journey of planning things, and then finally after 8 hours a big yellow signpost came to my sight, that read: ‘Kalupur Station’. One of the biggest railway stations of Gujarat. I stepped down onto the station and water splashed on my feet. People were shielding themselves by huddling under roofs and sheds. I was also dragged away with the mass. I could not waste time waiting for the rain to stop; so I hired a personal taxi from the taxi stand and started towards my destination.
“Are you new to the city?” The driver inquired.
“No, I am a resident of Ahmedabad.” I lied because I had heard that Gujarati’s purely believed in business and they also cheated the newbies and I didn’t want to be their prey.
“Okay.” He simply ended the conversation.
Well, I was anyway not too interested to have any conversation with him. All I knew was that from the next day onwards I would be getting into the race of life, the race of engineering. I didn’t want to be a FARZI ENGINEER and that was all that flashed in my mind.
“Bhai uthar vanu kasth karjo” (Brother please take the pain of getting down), the driver said in a slightly insistent manner.
“How much?” I asked taking off the luggage from the trunk.
“450 for the ride and 50 for the luggage.”
“What? 450!! I haven’t hired a chartered plane, and how can you charge me for the luggage too?” I was almost shocked to hear the fare.
“You have to pay the fare, in fact you should thank God that you got my taxi in this wild rain, else you would have to spend your whole night at the station itself.” The driver was making me feel vulnerable.
“Look, it’s your business and you were doing your job, you can’t cheat your passengers.” I uttered in a cursory tone.
The cacophony of me, the driver and the wild rains gathered people around but they remained aloof from us, witnessing the scene as if some crime was going on. I didn’t want my ambience to lose its charm, so I just paid the fare.
I proceeded towards my rented apartment, which I was to be sharing with three guys who were my seniors at St. Xavier’s college and I guessed that would somehow be expedient.
Getting comfortable with them would not be a big issue for me like with girls but still somewhere within me lay an introvert.
Before entering my apartment I scanned the surroundings, an isolated lawn turned to a stream, the roof of the other building swayed on the other side and only one prayer came to my mind.
‘God, I hope the roof on my room does not leak like in some 1920’s movie. I know You are good and always want to see me happy. Aren’t You?’
I peeked around to look for a door bell.
Damn! It wasn’t there. It created an antipathy in me. I took a deep breath and knocked the wooden door hard with my hand.
As soon as the door opened, a guy in shorts, almost 6.5’ feet tall and an analogy of a ‘Raymond Man’, looked at me curiously.
“Yes?” he said or rather questioned in a fraternal voice.
“Hi, I am Puneet, Puneet Shrivastava”, putting forward my hand for a shake.
“Hello, what do you want sir?” His voice was intractable.
“Actually, I am new to this city, and your landlady Mrs. Martha has allotted me a room here. She told me that I would have to share it with three other guys”. I explained after a short pause.
“Oh, okay.”
The guy welcomed me inside. The room looked like a fish market, a pile of clothes was tossed like garbage into the dustbin, and the walls were literally advertising rather promoting beautiful Bollywood heroines, bed sheets were flung far away from the beds, pillows had no covers, coke cans were lying around in the corners and food packet wrappers under the beds. My very first reaction after seeing all this was, “Ewww!!”
I didn’t know from where to begin so I started with the basics of all conversations which was ‘what is your name?’
“My name is Ashish; third year Bachelor’s, let me introduce you to the other two guys, my brodas.”
Ashish whistled and called them out of the room. Both came, casting me strange looks. He then introduced everyone, starting with me.
“Guys, I’d told you to pay up our rent, Mrs. Martha is such a greedy lady, she just needs money, now we must stop ordering pizza and save up our cash to pay the rent on time otherwise today we have Puneet and tomorrow some Navneet will come”, said Ashish, making the atmosphere quite embarrassing for me.
“Excuse me, if you have any problem with me, please do let me know, I can arrange for different accommodation.” I said getting nerved with Ashish.
“No, that’s fine. I was just joking. Anyway, this is Yash Agrawal, the regular canteen visitor; he too is your senior.” Ashish spat as Yash got up and threw me a friendly hug.
“Hey, nice to see you bro, which department, you too computer science?”
“Yeah.”
“For any canteen queries you can contact me from breakfast to dinner. I can make food available at a discounted price.” Yash said with a wink and a smirk.
“This is Umesh, the complete girls’ database.” Ashish introduced Umesh, a guy with a funny habit of keeping track of all the girls right from where they lived, what they did, what they liked, who they dated, etc. etc., and whatever else one could imagine.
“Oh please Ashish! You know that’s my one great talent that none of you idiots have, so remember to talk to me with respect especially now because you need a girl for the upcoming fresher’s party.” He playfully threatened everyone around.
“So Puneet, Yash can help you with canteen matters and I will help you with the girls. Well, do you have any one already? Or still a barren land?” Umesh countered both Ashish and me in a mortifying manner.
“No, I don’t have any girlfriend; I am just a 12th pass out.” I said with little hesitation.
Hearing that, all of them laughed out loudly.
“God! Puneet let me introduce you to the guy who almost finished dating four girls by the time he was in Std. 12th”, Ashish laughed and pointed towards a guy who had just entered the room.
“Enough you guys, don’t you all know what it feels like when you date a girl? And for your information, girls are crazy for my six pack abs, so it’s not my mistake, it’s my physique that attracts them, I don’t go around inviting them. You have all seen what happened with Sheela and Leela, both of who proposed to me in public, raping my reputation but who cares, girls come and go in my life. But I am still waiting for a perfect girl who drives me crazy for her.” John justified himself to this stranger ‘Puneet’. He lived in a nearby PG accommodation but spent most of his time here.
“John, are you really looking for a girl? Bravo! Though bro, before finding that perfect girl, make sure you get your AIDS- test done.” Ashish and Yash laughed out even more loudly this time.
“Hmm, you fools, I know you are jealous because no girl falls into your traps.”
“Oh please John, we are not like you, just playing around with girls, and by the way what’s your current bank balance? Nowadays we have seen you buying roses and gifts regularly, your other three bros are also alive man, think of them too sometimes, we poor people don’t have any money to buy our personal stuff.” Yash and Umesh were swiping their mobile screens while Ashish was observing each and every activity closely.
Looking at Ashish I got to know that he was a great observer and quite a good g
uy unlike the ‘database’ stories I had been fed.
“So, dude what are you up to?” Yash asked me in a comradely way when he saw that I was finding it difficult to express or adapt to the environment.
“Nothing, actually I am feeling hungry, sorry to say, but I’ve been in the train the whole day and these rains have also made me tired, so can you please let me know where I could order food from or where the nearest restaurant is?” I was dying of hunger while these guys seemed to have wound up with dinner already.
“Wait bro, today I’ll arrange dinner for you, but from tomorrow you have to help yourself.” Ashish sweetly got up from the couch and rushed towards the kitchen, while the other three were busy with Umesh’s phone. God only knew what was so interesting that was going on in his cell phone that none of them even turned their eye balls a bit.
“Frozen idli and dal, this is all that we have, if you want hot dal, you can ask Mrs. Martha to allow you to use her microwave.” Ashish came out of the kitchen, holding the dish like a waiter, lifted close to his shoulder allowing a little gap.
“Microwave, and Mrs. Martha...... ”, once again all of them laughed.
God only knew what was so funny with this lady. She had been so calm and good to me, I didn’t understand why they reacted like this when they heard her name. I felt a strong urge to find out the funny secret which the four of them shared. But that was not so important as of now because what mattered to me the most at that moment, was the idli.
After finishing my dinner and talks, we all headed to bed. My mind was heavy with all the eventful happenings of the day.
I got up with a sweet rhythm penetrating deep into my ears waking me out of my slumber. Yes, it was the first day and I wanted this day to be etched into my memory. I quickly scanned the room and the other three guys were still amorous with their bed. I took out my best pair of casuals, gave my hair a cool spiked look and sprayed AXE deo over myself that left me with a lingering fragrance. I was ready on time, as Ashish got up rubbing his almond shaped eyes, giving me a strange look.
Hey Dad! Meet My Mom Page 8
