Lie to Me (an OddRocket title)

by Brahm, Suzanne

  "Maybe not fine."

  "I thought so."

  "Not fine at all."

  He nodded. "You look like a girl who needs a break."

  "Do I ever."

  "How about we work for a bit, then talk later?"

  "Perfect."

  He reached out and squeezed my hand. He looked me in the eyes before quickly turning and clearing his throat. "Technically, this is your first day working on Kismet."

  "Kismet?"

  "I didn't name her, but it's bad luck to change a boat's name."

  "What's it mean?"

  "Destiny. Fate." He wrinkled his nose while he looked at me. "So… I don't mean to be a big a-hole, but you are really not what I'd call a fully functional manual laborer."

  "I can work." I stood, immediately panicked. I didn't want him to send me home.

  "Sit down.” He winked. "I got this." He opened the hatch and went below deck, coming back with a six-pack and a cardboard box of brass hardware. He put the beer in a small cooler. "That is for me and this is for you." He handed me the box and a small jar of polish. "And rags. Your job is to make this stuff shine." He took one of the cans out of his cooler and popped the top. It hissed. "I bought that box at a garage sale in Seattle. This old guy had all this sailing shit, no idea it was worth a fortune."

  "I can polish it," I said, eagerly taking the rag and dipping it into the jar.

  "I know it. You're good," he said, winking. RD turned on a radio and walked around the side of the boat while the music played.

  I knew then, for sure, that RD had sent me the text message that night. As I sat on the bench polishing the brass, watching the bright yellow shine come back in each weathered piece, RD sat on the bow sanding the varnish. From my seat, I could see flakes peeling away, a fine dust filling the air. I enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my skin, the sound of the waves lapping against the boat. The marina was quiet; most of the boats were owned by locals who hardly sailed. There was traffic on the water, but no one was stopping on San Sebastian to do anything but gas up at the self-serve station just down from the harbor. I wanted to sit here all day, but I knew that would mean lying to Mom about where I'd been and she'd probably hear about my bike wreck. After about an hour, I'd finished polishing all the pieces in my box.

  "RD." I stood. My legs felt so much better, my tears gone. "I should probably get going."

  "Yeah?" He jumped from the box over the hatch near me, the whole boat rocking. He threw his empty can toward a red bucket sitting on the dock as if he was shooting a basket. He made it. "And the crowd goes wild. Did I ever tell you I was a basketball star in high school?"

  "Nope."

  "Well, I was. I was a star. The world was my oyster." He looked wistful. “Anyway, you outta here?"

  "Yeah, I can't do a whole lot and I should get going. I swear I'll arrive uninjured next time. And I finished polishing everything."

  "Awesome," he said, jumping off the bridge. He picked up the box, taking out a set of handles. "Man, these will look nice in the galley."

  "Where's the galley?" I asked.

  "Let me show you the rest of the boat before you go." He nodded toward the hatch. "I can show you the lay of the land real quick."

  I don't remember saying "yes" or "no." I do remember looking over my shoulder to be sure no one was watching before I followed him below deck

  Chapter 13

  I stepped down the wooden ladder. RD stood at the bottom, his head almost reaching the ceiling of the boat. Sunlight filled the cabin. It was much simpler than I'd imagined. Blue bunks the size of twin beds on either side of the boat, a narrow walkway between with a teak floor. Behind the stairs, a galley with a small sink and cutting board lined one side and, on the other, there was a small desk that looked like a place to read and plot nautical charts.

  Waves quietly sloshed against the side of the boat, rocking it gently from side to side. The room smelled of wood and salt and faintly of beer. Standing at the foot of the stairs, I was totally aware of the deep water inches beneath my feet.

  "Welcome to paradise," RD said, grinning. "Here, I'll sit. It's kind of crowded." He sat on one of the bunks just as a wake hit the boat, tossing me forward. I tumbled toward him, landing half on top of him.

  "Hey, there," he said, looking up at me, his hands on my waist, my face inches from his. My cheek had brushed against his mouth when I'd fallen.

  "Sorry," I said.

  "No worries, you'll get your sea legs." He released his hands and I slid off his lap sitting beside him. He was so warm, so close. "This is nice down here."

  "Living the dream," he said. Then in a much more somber tone, he added, "No, seriously. I am."

  "Is this your dream?" I asked, looking at the cramped quarters. At closer look there was a small stack of dirty dishes in the sink and a few beer cans in a plastic bag he'd wrapped around the back of the ladder.

  "Isn't it every boy's dream to grow up and live on a boat?" he said, nodding toward the stairs. "I've got everything I need. A gourmet kitchen and library. The drawers under the sink are going to get all the fixtures you polished."

  All of the cabinetry in the corner was unfinished. When I breathed deeply, I thought I detected the faint smell of sawdust. "Did you make all those?"

  "Yep," RD said, rubbing his hands together. "Wood shop was not a total loss. I've been working on this boat pretty much since I graduated from high school. It was my dad's. He died when I was a junior at the UW. I told myself that I'd fix her up, make her seaworthy."

  "Did he sail?"

  RD laughed. "Oh, yes. He didn’t just sail. He raced. Raced and won. Two very important details."

  "Did you race?"

  "No, no way." RD laughed before lifting a beer to his mouth and taking a sip. I didn't realize he'd brought a can downstairs with him. "Anyway, that's the tour. Enough of my sad story."

  "I like hearing it," I said. "Makes me think less about my own stuff."

  "Yeah?" RD took another sip. "You sure you aren't feeling sorry for me?"

  "Pretty sure."

  He grinned and toasted me. "Yes, you are. Nice girl feeling bad for the old college burn-out on the dock."

  "No," I protested, but he was right. I wanted to comfort him. There was something so wounded and broken about him.

  "You want to talk about anything?" he asked, his voice softer. “No pressure, only if it makes you feel better."

  "She's sick," I said. And I told him about my conversation with Mom that morning, about how scared I was that something awful was going to happen to her and how I had to keep everything secret from Addie. I told him how Aunt Lucy was going to come to the island and I didn't know what that meant. I even told him how Nick tried to help me in the parking lot and how I'd wanted to slap him. The only thing I didn't tell him was how I couldn't stop thinking about the night before, the moment when I'd thought he was going to kiss me.

  "You feel better?" RD asked when I finished talking.

  I inhaled deeply and gave myself a moment to breathe. "Yes," I said. My chest didn't feel as tight anymore and I no longer felt like tears were building up and ready to spill.

  "Okay, so, good day’s work. You aren't bad for injured crew.” He turned and smiled at me, placing his hand on the cushion close to mine. We were so close to touching. “You sure you want to come back and help me out some more?"

  "Yes. Absolutely." More than anything, I wanted to put my hand on top of his and feel him touch me again. Not just for me, but to let RD know that I understood that he was sad, too. We sat like that for a few seconds, my hand close to his, the boat rocking and the sound of clanking halyards filling the air like a hundred wind chimes.

  "Cassie," RD said. "You are good and I'm not. You gotta understand that.”

  "I don't believe you."

  "I'm trouble."

  "I'm pretty messed up myself, too," I said, managing to laugh.

  My whole body felt electric. I stared at his hand and felt him move. He turned toward me and to
uched my chin with his fingertip and, for a second, I thought he was going to lift my face up just like he had in the car. But he didn't. He just looked at me and smiled and then he slowly brushed my hair across my forehead.

  "I pick this dock to escape everything and then you just appear. How did that happen?"

  "I don't know."

  "Kismet?"

  "Cassie! Cassie!" A voice on the dock carried below deck. Addie. I felt RD tense up and my heartbeat raced, beating so loudly I could feel it in my whole body. He jumped away from me as if I was toxic. I felt like we'd been caught, even though we'd only been talking.

  "It's my sister," I said. "I don't know what she's doing here. I should go."

  He nodded and looked at the hatch. "Why don't I go up first," he said. "You can use the head if you need to. I'll tell your sister… what's her name?"

  "Addie."

  "I'll tell her you'll be right up."

  "Okay."

  "We probably shouldn't hang out down here anymore."

  "Okay," I said. I felt so breathless and nervous. He'd touched my face. Nothing had happened. I had no reason to feel guilty, so why did I feel like we'd done something wrong?

  "Hey, don't look so freaked out,” RD said. “You're good. No laws broken. Everything's going to be okay."

  When RD spoke, I felt like he could, somehow, realign the planets in my universe. And in that moment, looking at RD, the way he smiled at me, I felt so lucky that he'd found me. I felt like he'd chosen me to help him because he could see that we needed each other. We had a connection and I knew that something had almost happened between us and I liked that feeling. Like standing at the edge of a cliff and looking down the rock face knowing that, if I jumped, I would fly and not fall.

  RD opened the hatch and climbed up the steps. The flash of sunlight from above looked so out of place in the cool darkness all around me. It seemed impossible that the world outside had continued while we'd been below deck.

  Everything's going to be okay, I repeated. Taking a deep breath, I tried to will my heartbeat to slow down. Everything's going to be okay. I believed RD. I believed every one of his lies.

  Chapter 14

  I waited for a minute before I stood up. I strained, listening for my sister's voice, but there was nothing, nothing but the quiet touch of the waves against the boat. I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and to make sure I looked okay. There was a small mirror over a super-tiny sink. It was about as big as a closet. Looking at my reflection, I could see a few new freckles. I had gloss in my pocket and I took it out, slowly painting the shimmering pink over my lips. It made me think of Priya. I had never thought about it until now, but we used the same pink lip gloss.

  Above deck, RD sat on the bench, legs stretched out. "False alarm," he said, grinning. "She's not here."

  Confused, I looked around for that signature red, curly hair. "Trust me. She's here. I heard her." I scanned the docks, catching a glimpse of Addie's head between boats on the next dock over. Addie jumped up and down when she spotted me and ran, even though running on the docks was a major don't in Mom's book of rules.

  "Found her," I said. Addie's feet thundered as she approached.

  "Where were you?" she gasped when she arrived hands upon her knees. "I walked by here like a million times."

  "Never mind," I said. "We should get out of here." The less Addie knew about RD, the better. The last thing I needed was for her to mention to Mom that I'd been hanging out on some boat. I knew Mom wanted to give me space today, but that would leave me wide open for an interrogation.

  "Mom told me to come get you. I saw your bike. Ew, your knees."

  Blood had dried through the gauze patch in a round, brownish-red circle. "I crashed earlier. Is Mom here?" I swallowed, my stomach turning, as I looked up the dock, terrified that I'd see Mom striding in our direction.

  "No," Addie said, looking at RD. "Can I take your picture?" She'd already raised the camera and snapped a picture before RD had a chance to answer. "I'm going to be a photographer this summer."

  "What’s with the paparazzi?" RD said, holding his hands up pretending to hide.

  Addie giggled. "You’re funny."

  "How'd you get here then?" I asked feeling more and more annoyed.

  "I rode my bike, too. Duh." She took a few steps back on the dock so she could get a better picture of the boat. "Cool boat. It's pretty old, though. You should paint it red."

  RD's cell phone rang. He glanced at the screen and something flashed across his face. "I gotta take this." He jumped over the bridge and walked along the bow toward the edge of the rail.

  "He's the guy with the hat," Addie said.

  "Yeah, I returned it."

  "That's cool," Addie said. "We should go. Mom said if you don't bring your cell phone with you, she's not going to pay for it anymore because what's the point of having a cell phone if you never answer it. What if there was an emergency?"

  RD kept his back to us while he talked. He paced back and forth, his head lowered, fingers raking through his hair.

  "Here, let me take your picture," Addie said, pointing the camera at me.

  I made a face. "Why did Mom send you here to find me, anyway?"

  "It's Aunt Lucy. Mom says she'll be here within the hour. She wants us home."

  Aunt Lucy. She was here already? So this was really happening.

  "Fine. I'll go home. Just give me a second." I was stalling. I didn't want to leave while RD was on the phone. Why was I being so weird?

  "Are you going to take forever?" Addie said.

  RD dropped the phone from his ear and gripped the rail a moment before turning to smile. "All right," he said, climbing back into the cockpit. "Family stuff. So you two are taking off?"

  "Yeah, I have to go." I wished Addie wasn't there so he would really talk to me, not act like I was just some girl. His tone was different around her. I didn't like it.

  "No worries." He stood with his hands in his pocket.

  "Glad you got your hat back," I said, nodding toward his head.

  "Oh, yeah. Thanks." His eyes widened as if he'd just caught my hint. "Yes, thanks for the special delivery."

  I felt like he'd given me a secret message, a message in a bottle. He'd slipped inside my brain and thoughts of him now mingled with everything. With a single touch, I needed him.

  Aunt Lucy looked nothing like my mother. She looked exactly like me.

  Her thick brown hair hit her right at the collarbone. She didn't have Mom's rounded cheeks or button nose. Her face was more angular and sharp like mine. The only feature they shared was their blue eyes.

  We were all sitting around the mosaic table Mom had made the summer before out of broken china plates. The sky was painted a sharp blue, streaked with thin pink clouds high above us.

  "You don't look like my mom's sister. It's weird," Addie said, staring at Aunt Lucy.

  "Don't be rude," Mom said.

  "It's all right," Lucy said. "We've always looked different. Kind of like you and Cassie."

  But, it wasn't just their features. It was their style. Mom was all swirls and long skirts and funky jewelry and Aunt Lucy was shiny and polished. Her hot pink t-shirt looked pressed. Even her jeans had a telltale fold along the front; she clearly ironed them. In all honesty, Aunt Lucy looked a lot like the other mothers at San Sebastian High. I'd seen her clean, steel grey SUV in the drive and she had a designer handbag stashed by her feet.

  "Well, Grandma Bennett brought Lucy home from the hospital when I was four years old," Mom said, brushing a strand of her wavy, red hair off her face. "The neighbors all wondered where this baby with thick, black hair had come from."

  "I look like your grandpa, girls," Lucy said. "I think that's who you got your coloring from, too, Cassandra."

  "I always thought I had the same hair color as Dad," I said, resenting the idea that Aunt Lucy would tie me to her instead of my father.

  "Well, I remember your dad's hair as lighter, more of an ashy blond. It's be
en so long." Her voice trailed off. She swirled her glass, ice cubes clinking.

  "His hair was lighter," Mom said. "I think Lucy's right, honey. There is no denying you two are related. Remarkable. It's just been so long since I've seen you together." Mom and Lucy hadn't spoken since Dad died, at least that's what I'd always assumed, but no one had ever really explained to me why Aunt Lucy had left the island that summer and never come back.

  "We should really bring out the photo album later and look at some old family pictures," Mom said. "Wouldn't that be fun, girls?"

  "I'm taking pictures this summer..." Addie said. Then she rattled on about her plan to be a world-class photographer.

  I squirmed in my cushioned deck chair, growing more and more uncomfortable with the let’s-pretend-we're-a-normal-family show. It wasn't just awkward. It felt so phony, nothing like my real conversations with RD. I didn't want to spend another minute on the deck with Aunt Lucy. Every time I looked at her, I was reminded of why she was here.

  "And what are you going to do this summer, Cassandra?" Aunt Lucy asked, leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

  "Same old," I said. "Work at the Hideaway, that's about it. Actually..." I realized Aunt Lucy might be presenting an opportunity. If I asked Mom about RD now, she would be less likely to argue in front of company. "So, Mom, do you think it would be cool if I did some work on a boat at the marina?"

  "A boat?" Mom asked, eyebrows rising.

  "There’s this guy from Seattle who is here for the summer. He's restoring an old sailboat and wants my help working on it."

  "You have a job, Cassandra," Mom said, eyes darting to Aunt Lucy, lips drawn tight. I read her message loud and clear. She didn't want to talk about this in front of Aunt Lucy, which just made me angry. If we were supposed to pretend Aunt Lucy was part of the family, why couldn't we have a real conversation in front of her?

  "It will only be a few hours a week," I said, staring at my glass of lemonade instead of at her. Addie watched wide-eyed.

  "Let’s discuss this later," Mom said.

  "I want to talk now." I don't know why I was so angry and pushing but, suddenly, I wanted a fight.