Big Shot ~ Kim Karr

by Karr, Kim

  There was some serious déjà vu going on, and I hated that couldn’t stop the butterflies that swarmed my belly.

  With a tilt of his head, he beckoned me to him. I shook my head, and out of my peripheral vision, I noticed Tara, my assistant, standing with a group of people from our department fairly close to him. As soon as she spotted me, she blew me a kiss.

  With those intense eyes staring at me as if hurt that I wouldn’t come to talk to him, he made a move toward me. It was as if he’d been looking for me and having found me once again, he wasn’t going to let me go.

  But he already had, hadn’t he?

  I found myself lowering my gaze. I didn’t want to talk to him, not here, not in this setting. We’d said all that needed to be said weeks ago.

  A little unsettled by how deeply affected I was by his attention, I tried to give my own attention back to Jason and Mike, but it was hopeless. I kept shifting my gaze to him. He was making his way through the crowd, and I knew he was coming for me.

  That pounding heart of mine was nearly out of my chest. I had to move. Not a minute later, I made an excuse to slip away.

  I had no destination in mind as I walked through the crowd. Anywhere would do, just far enough away from Jace that I didn’t have to talk to him.

  The white lights on the dance floor flickered in my vision, and I had to close my eyes for a minute. That’s when I ran right into my boss.

  Perry Reeves was about five years older than me, and recently divorced. He had two kids who he kept every other weekend, and loved hockey almost as much as Jace.

  Unlike Jace though, he wasn’t as refined. In fact, he’d recently shaved his dark hair close to his scalp. Like that it was hard not to notice his smooth, perfectly shaped ears, especially the one that boasted a small gold hoop in the lobe.

  Perry was low key, taking advantage of casual Fridays by wearing jeans himself. He was also kind, considerate, and easygoing.

  Everything Jace wasn’t.

  The friendship Perry and I had cultivated since I started working for him was one I was grateful for.

  “Perry,” I said with a start.

  “Hannah,” he replied, bracing his hands on my upper arms, and looking me up and down. “You look incredible.”

  “Thank you,” I responded, feeling myself blushing.

  As if wondering if his actions were appropriate, he quickly stepped back. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”

  I lifted an eyebrow in question. “The note that accompanied the invitation said the event was mandatory.”

  One half of his mouth turned up. “I think Jace might have bent the rules for you.”

  “What . . . makes you say that?” There was a slight hesitation in my question that I couldn’t temper.

  Perry ran a hand over his head, as if he had forgotten he’d shaved it all off. “You have to ignore me. I’ve already had too much to drink and the night is just getting started.”

  That wasn’t exactly the truth. I could see it in his eyes. Whatever had been said between him and his boss though wasn’t anything he was going to share with me. It was apparent that I had no choice but to let it go, so I did, and gave him an easy smile.

  Moving on from the off limits topic of Jace, he held his hand out to me. “Care to dance?”

  I took it. “I’d love to.”

  The beat was soft and slow, and I was glad since my heels were four inches high and my dress a mile long. I couldn’t imagine rocking my hips to a fast tempo in what I was wearing.

  Perry was ever the gentleman. His hands were light on my hips and his body remained an arm’s length away.

  Together we moved in a box step, and laughed about things that were happening at work. Jace was never mentioned once. I supposed we were both adhering to the off limits topic.

  A low, deep voice was loud in my ear. “Mind if I cut in?”

  Feeling like a fluttery teenager, my hand flew to my chest. “Jace,” I said in surprise.

  “She’s all yours,” Perry said, extending his arm.

  Without waiting for my acceptance, Jace turned me toward him and pulled me tightly against him. There wasn’t an inch between us, and his hand splayed wide on my backside.

  “I want to talk to you,” he whispered.

  “You are,” I said.

  “Alone.”

  I shook my head no. I knew that was code for I want to fuck you.

  He pulled me tighter.

  That song bled into the next, and we danced to it with our bodies molded together. With each step, his hand moved, up, down, alternating between caressing and rubbing.

  The closeness was too much. His scent was too much. His body so close it was way more than I could handle.

  “I should go find Perry,” I blurted out.

  He shook his head no and held on to me.

  I couldn’t take it, so I lifted my mouth to whisper in his ear. “What are you doing?”

  Jace glared down at me. “Stopping you from walking away.”

  That made me laugh, but this laugh was cold and harsh.

  Ignoring me, he went on. “Are you purposely trying to avoid me?”

  My lips turned into a snarl. “Do you really have to ask me that?”

  His gaze flickered. “Give me five minutes, alone.”

  I shook my head. “No, Jace, I won’t. I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Do you really have to ask me that? We both know only one thing will come from spending time alone together.”

  That glare of his turned icy. “And what do you think that one thing is, Hannah?”

  “Us fucking.” I blurted it out.

  He was pissed now.

  Good.

  This little dance could end, and I could get some much needed distance from him, but he didn’t back away, he just stared at me.

  Moments later, we were both breathing fast. That was not a good sign. A scene would not be appropriate. So instead I stepped back, and as I did, I said nothing.

  “Hannah,” he called.

  Ignoring him, I turned on my heels and left him standing there.

  In that moment, I hated him.

  I wanted him.

  And I hated him.

  Lost in the crowd, I stayed away from Perry, and found Tara. When I did, she insisted we have a drink together, and I more than happily obliged.

  Twenty minutes or so passed as she told me about her new boyfriend. What she liked and what she didn’t. I listened and offered advice when I could. She never asked me anything about my love life, and I was very glad.

  Although non-existent wouldn’t have been very hard to explain.

  Proud of myself that I had done such a good job of not looking for Jace the entire time I talked to her, I wanted to pat myself on the back. But it wasn’t long after I made that mental note that I saw him, and again he was headed in my direction.

  I shook my head, warning him to keep his distance. He stopped right where he was, but not because of my warning. Rather because someone had tugged on his arm, and not just someone, a woman, a beautiful woman.

  This goddess was about our age. She had dark hair that hung in waves around the porcelain skin of her shoulders. And her beauty was more in an exotic kind of way. Not to mention that her red dress was drop dead gorgeous in a way you knew was meant to impress.

  The low V in the front covered just enough of her large breasts to make it appear classy instead of slutty. And the layers of fabric at the hips didn’t make her look big as they might have on most people, but rather rail thin. Everything about her screamed expensive. She was a woman whose presence filled the room.

  Standing next to Jace, they looked like the perfect cake topper. Him with his “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and her with her confidence and sophistication, they were the perfect couple.

  He gave her his attention, and of course she was a guest, and he had to, that didn’t stop the spike of jealously I felt. It was irrational. They were only talking. And yet, I
wasn’t sure why I couldn’t look away.

  With a shaky hand, I gulped the last of my champagne and set the glass down.

  Tara talked, and I watched him. Them. Watched as he leaned his upper body closer to the exotic beauty to say something that made her tip her head back in laughter. Watched when she stopped laughing and whispered something into his ear. Watched her face linger near his, and watched as he used the opportunity to put his hand on her bare shoulder. Perhaps to pull her closer, perhaps unable to hear her, or perhaps because that was where he wanted her. I had no idea.

  Torturing myself, I imagined since I’d turned him down for sex, he’d moved on to her. That he had told her he wanted to fuck her in his car, and at first she thought he might be teasing. But then she figured out he wasn’t, and told him she wanted that too.

  There was no way to know what they were discussing of course, but whatever it was, he seemed invested in it, enough that he didn’t step back even as she stepped forward.

  When the woman finally gave him some distance and stood straight again, he glanced over her shoulder and looked right at me.

  I didn’t care that he caught me staring, but he did. He made no move to alter his position, back away from her, as if he’d gotten caught. I think he was even trying to say goodbye, but she wasn’t letting him. No, she wanted his attention, and she was going after it. After him.

  Unable to watch him with someone else for another minute, I told Tara I had to go, and then stalked toward the club doors and pushed them open to find myself in an empty lobby.

  The coat check was unattended as the event was in full swing, and I retrieved my wrap on my own.

  Unable to stop myself from leaving, I headed toward the bank of doors that led to the street. Work function or not, mandatory or not, I was done.

  A light snow had started to fall, and it felt good on my heated skin. I no longer cared about my dress, and as I waited for a cab, I crossed my arms over my chest in frustration.

  The door opened behind me and I knew who it was without glancing back. The beat of the music filled the space between us. That is until the door swung closed again.

  The sound of cars passing wasn’t enough to block out the noise in my ears. I closed my eyes, hoping I was wrong about who had come outside, and hoping even more I was right.

  “Hannah!”

  I started walking down the street. The corner wasn’t that far, and I knew as soon as I turned it, there would be a line of cabs waiting for passengers. The fast movement of my heels clicked along the pavement and snow slushed along the bottom of my dress.

  I didn’t care.

  “Damn it, Hannah, wait a minute!”

  The sound of his voice was like thunder, and it only made me walk faster. “Go away, Jace, I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “You shouldn’t be out here alone. It isn’t safe!”

  “I’ll be fine,” I shot over my shoulder.

  Getting away from Jace wasn’t that easy though. His long strides had him catching up to me in less than thirty seconds, and once he did, he wrapped his big palm around my arm to stop me.

  The glow of the streetlight highlighted his gorgeous features, and in that moment I never hated an inanimate object as much as I did then.

  Snow fell onto the fabric of his shirt as if it wanted to taunt me with the curves of his muscular chest, and then it ran down his face, and he licked away some of the flakes.

  “That wasn’t what you think it was,” he said.

  “I don’t care what it was.” I yanked my arm from his grasp.

  He raised an eyebrow at me. “If you don’t care so much, then why are you running away?”

  Anger reared up in me in a way it shouldn’t have. “Maybe I don’t like watching you try to get in some high-society woman’s panties with all your big shot moves.”

  Jace actually flinched, as though I’d struck him. “That was low, Hannah.”

  “Maybe sometimes the truth hurts.”

  Silence hung between us as my words cut us both deep.

  As the moments passed, I began to feel like I couldn’t breathe. Remorse and guilt were the water dripping down my skin. I hated the jealous bitch I was feeling like. It wasn’t me.

  “My work obligation has been honored,” I said bitterly. “I’m going home.”

  Everything about him softened. “I told you I want to talk to you.”

  “And I already told you that I don’t want to talk to you.”

  Done with the night, and the dancing, and the drinking, and everything that seemed to be so close, and yet so far away, I turned and walked away just in time to hail an oncoming cab, and climb in.

  “Hannah,” he yelled, “I’m not giving up.”

  Jace didn’t run after me, though.

  And I didn’t expect him to.

  But a part of me wanted him to.

  A really big part.

  Present Day

  Hannah Michaels Crestfall

  THE FIFTH DRINK was to blame for my bad behavior.

  I was certain of it.

  By the time I got home, I was shivering and felt sick, both mentally and physically. Not only had a headache begun to throb in my temples, but my belly was flip-flopping. Worst of all, tears stung my eyes, and as hard as I tried to fight them, they fell.

  I ignored them.

  I’d gotten good at that.

  Running through the family room and past the small Christmas tree Jonah and I had put up a couple of weeks ago, I climbed the steps.

  There was something in Jace’s stare tonight that felt different, but I couldn’t dwell on it. The fundraiser was his responsibility and it wasn’t like he could have just left to chase me down and tell me.

  In the bathroom, I unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor in a heap. Once I removed my underwear, I stood naked and stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time.

  Why hadn’t I just talked to him?

  What did he want?

  What was I hoping for?

  The air suddenly felt incredibly cold, and I ignored my own questions. In fact, I went to turn up the thermostat instead of trying to answer them.

  A hot shower was just what I needed, but before I could get the water hot enough, there was a knock at the front door.

  Grabbing for my bathrobe, I wrapped it around myself and started down the hall. My heart thudded in surprise when I peeked out the window and saw his BMW parked on the street.

  So he had come after me this time. It didn’t matter. I still had no intention of letting him in. Nothing good would come of it. We had nothing to talk about. That’s when I remembered I hadn’t locked the front door after I closed it.

  Just as I was padding down the stairs to quickly bolt the door shut, it banged open hard enough to hit the wall.

  Jace was covered in white flakes, and he simply strode inside like he had the right to be there. Kicking the door shut behind him, he glanced up. He nearly filled the small entranceway with his presence. Snow fell on the floor beneath his feet, but he didn’t seem to notice.

  I stopped where I was on the landing and stared down at him. As soon as he spotted me, I took a step back. Feeling breathless and out of sorts, I hit the wall behind me. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place. “What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice shaky.

  Within seconds, Jace started up the steps and then he was standing in front of me. He put his hands on the wall, one on each side of my head. I’d seen him happy, sad, angry, and mad, but I’d never seen him look so fierce.

  Fear and anticipation filled me.

  “I told you—” he said, his voice deeper than I’d ever heard it. “That we need to talk.”

  I wanted to tell him to leave, but I think what came out was something more like, “And I told you, there’s nothing to talk about,” or something that sounded like that.

  “Fine. Have it your way. We can talk later.” Jace drew in a deep breath. I knew what he was doing—trying to calm himself down.

&nbs
p; Before I could make my mouth move with the words I needed to say, something like leave now or better yet, get out, Jace crushed his mouth to mine.

  Unable to resist him, I opened beneath the onslaught. I couldn’t help myself. But I didn’t touch him any place else except on the lips. A part of him still poised to protest, but then his tongue swept inside my mouth and stole away my every thought.

  “Put your hands on me,” Jace demanded around the kiss.

  I was doing no such thing.

  “Please,” he begged.

  With a tenderness so unlike him, I felt like my heart was bleeding, and there was no way I wasn’t doing what he so desperately needed. So I spread my hands on his chest. His shirt was cold from the rain, and still I could feel every ripple and ridge of his muscles. My palms began to move and landed on his nipples, which were hard as iron. And when I ran my fingertips over them once, twice, he muttered a curse.

  “Jace . . .” I tried to say.

  “Are you ready to talk now?” he said around our kiss with a smile.

  “Nothing has changed. There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “You’re wrong. Everything has changed.”

  I pulled back. “What are you talking about?”

  His hands were now on my hips, and he squeezed them. “I want you, Hannah.”

  “Jace, please.”

  “Hannah, listen to me. I want to be with you.”

  I stared at him, searching, trying to figure out why everything between us seemed different, right.

  “I sold my house. I found out a few hours ago,” he blurted out.

  Shock overtook me. “What? Why? I didn’t even know you were trying to sell it.”

  “As a grand gesture,” he said with a smile.

  “I don’t understand.”

  He shook his head. “Ignore the Ethan talk. I did it so that nothing stands between us. No ghosts. Nothing. Hannah, I want you to know, to believe, that when I look at you, you are the only woman I see.”

  There was so much to process. “Jace, what about Scarlett? How does she feel about it?”