This Lie Will Kill You

by Chelsea Pitcher

  All of this was because of him.

  “You thought I tried to kill Shane,” Juniper said, forcing the words past the lump in her throat. “First your father attacked you, after I called the cops on him. Then, one year later, you heard rumors about me trying to drown the love of your life. And you believed them.”

  “Until tonight.”

  “When I told you what really happened. And then . . .” Juniper gasped, her gaze drifting to the body by the doors. The girl in the blackened lace dress. “You asked Brianna to let me go. After you heard my story, you said it wasn’t fair to keep me in the house. Did you mean that?”

  “Yes.”

  Air rushed into Juniper’s lungs. In spite of her unwavering voice, she’d been terrified of Ruby’s reply. “And before that, when I wanted to run to the neighbor’s house, you tried to stop me from leaving the living room. Why?”

  “I was starting to doubt the rumors about you,” Ruby confessed. “After you left the living room, I ran to the secret passageway, trying to cut Brianna off. She was always supposed to be there in between acts. That was the beauty of our plan! All we needed was a ladder to the balcony, and that secret passageway, and she could be anywhere she wanted at any time. Inside the house or—”

  “Drowning me in the pool.”

  In a sharp, swift movement, Ruby’s gaze cut across the patio, landing on Brianna’s body. Then, a sob. Just a single sound, crawling out of the depths of her, before she slapped a hand over her mouth. She’d been clutching the mask, but now it slipped from her fingers and clattered to the stones.

  Still, it didn’t shatter.

  “Is that why you killed her?” Juniper asked, her heart fluttering like the wings of a dragonfly. “Because she hurt me before she knew what really happened? Before she had proof?”

  Ruby cocked her head to the side. It was eerie, and so entirely Brianna, Juniper almost turned and ran. She almost expected Ruby to point the gun at her. But that was the thing, wasn’t it? All this time, Ruby could’ve used the gun against her, and she hadn’t even tried. From that first terrible moment, when Ruby had picked up the revolver, Juniper had known exactly where the barrel would be pointing.

  She’d never had a doubt.

  Now Ruby looked up, the fire reflecting in her eyes. “This was never about killing Brianna. It was always about catching Shane’s killer. And in the final moments of the circus, I pulled a wicked illusion and made her disappear. I saved her,” she added, letting that flair fall away. Revealing herself, a broken, shivering girl, with an arm that wasn’t used to holding a gun for this amount of time. Juniper laughed then, a single huff, because how ridiculous would it be, if all this went away, simply because Ruby’s arm got tired?

  “You didn’t kill her.” Juniper stepped closer, not to Ruby, but to Brianna. To the doll, disappearing in the flames. “You protected her, like you tried to protect me, once you realized the truth.”

  “And yet, I still plotted to hurt you. I still let it happen.”

  “Oh, and don’t think I’m not going to get you back for it. Years from now, when you’re performing on Broadway, I might just be waiting in the rafters, a bucket of blood in my hands.”

  “Really? A Carrie reference?” Ruby gestured to the fire with her free hand. “You know how that movie ends, right?”

  “We watched it together.”

  “We watched everything together.” Ruby frowned as tears slid down Juniper’s cheeks, dropping to the snowy ground. “That’s how I know what you’re thinking. If you could get close to me, you could melt my icy heart with those tears.”

  “This isn’t The Snow Queen,” Juniper said, and it was work, just getting those words out. It was painful, like speaking through jagged shards in her throat. Shards of ice? No. But Ruby’s words were getting into her head. Fracturing her reality. She knew that tears couldn’t melt Ruby’s icy heart, but she started looking for something that would.

  Then she saw it. Really, it was so obvious, staring her in the face. Flickering at her. Promising that no matter the fairy tale, something would always melt flesh. She turned toward the house, taking three long steps before Ruby called out, “What are you doing?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” Juniper asked, eyeing the pool between them. Ruby couldn’t get to her, like she couldn’t get to Ruby. “I’m going with you.”

  “You . . . what?” Ruby’s face crumpled. “No, you can’t.”

  “Why not? You’re going.”

  “Please.” Anguish in Ruby’s voice. “This isn’t funny.”

  “No, it isn’t funny. It sucks, doesn’t it? To watch your oldest friend disappear? Even the possibility, flashing behind your eyes . . .” Juniper flinched, her eyes stinging from the smoke. “We’ve both lost so much, and still, you would take yourself away from me. For good.”

  Another step, and then she was really feeling the heat. Really feeling the parts of her that could burn and fuse together. The parts of her that could boil. She inhaled, trying to take a satisfying breath, but that only invited the smoke into her lungs. Then she was doubled over, staggering forward without even trying.

  And Ruby was screaming, “Please! You can’t do this to me. You can’t make me watch it again.”

  Juniper paused, the heat singeing her hair, melting the sequins on her dress. “It won’t be the same, if you don’t love me. It won’t feel the same.”

  “I . . .” Another sob, cut off quickly. Another slipping of the mask, quickly caught. That was what Juniper thought, until she heard Ruby’s voice, distorted from crying. “I got into my father’s car one night. Months after he disappeared, I drove over to your house and I stared at your window. But I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the glass. I couldn’t bring myself to climb inside, when all along, you were right. You were right about my father, and you were right about Parker. But you were wrong about Shane.” She broke off, choking on sobs, like Juniper was choking on smoke. “We were wrong about him, Juniper, and he’s gone. He’s dead.”

  Then, a soft sound. Juniper turned in time to see Ruby’s knees hitting the stones, and for a moment, her heart leapt. Springing to life at the last possible second. Feeling that cursed, foolish hope. But Ruby’s hand, however trembling, still held the revolver. “I can’t do this without him. I can’t go back to being alone.”

  “You aren’t alone. Don’t you understand that? You promised to help me find my family, and you never even realized . . . my family is you. You are my soul, Ruby Valentine, and I will never give up on you.”

  Juniper walked into the wall of smoke. The flames reached out, grasping at her, and she could feel everything. Her skin unraveling. Her lungs tightening, as if shards of glass were sliding into them. She barely heard the sound of the gun over the fire.

  She spun around.

  When she saw her friend crumpled on the stones, her heart cracked open, but her mind was a mess of contradictions. Ruby was huddled there, head clutched in her hands, and yet . . . there was no blood to be found. Then Juniper was hurtling across the patio, a star streaking through the sky, a soul so entwined with another, they could find each other on the darkest of nights.

  She fell to her knees, crushing Ruby against her. Ruby was warm. Warmer than she should’ve been, if the life were slipping out of her. Juniper’s eyes darted this way and that, seeking the bullet. It wasn’t until she looked down, and found the shattered remains of the porcelain mask, that she understood what Ruby had done.

  39.

  DOLL FACE

  The world was on fire. Flames licked at the darkness, rising into the indigo sky. Inside the great, glimmering inferno was a house, paint peeling and chandeliers rattling from the ceilings.

  Inside the house was a monster.

  No, a beast.

  No, a boy, Ruby thought, as Juniper led her away from the wreckage, into the garden of topiary creatures. Together, they traveled the long, twisting path to the gate. It swung open. Then the road was upon them, and a boy was racing toward them, his dark
hair flying and his arms outstretched.

  He hurled himself at Juniper, spinning her in a perfect, fairy-tale twirl. Both of them were laughing through their tears. Yes, Ruby thought, watching them spin around, they were laughter and love and light.

  And she was darkness.

  She was a vengeful goddess in a land of pyramids and sand, and here, blessedly, was the wind.

  It whipped around her, and then she was dancing, if only for a moment. She was dancing with him. She could feel Shane’s hands slipping into hers, could feel his eyes finding her in the darkness. Ruby’s mask fell away, finally, and she let go of every illusion.

  Let go of the doll. The goddess, too. Then she was herself. A girl with pale blue eyes and freckles on her nose. A long, jagged scar across her heart, and a chasm that kept her from happiness. From him. Now, as he spun her around, she could feel his hands slipping out of her grasp, his soul disentangling from hers.

  “Goodbye,” Ruby whispered, watching the smoke drift into the sky. She knew it wasn’t him, knew his soul had drifted away last year, but she hadn’t been able to speak the word then. She hadn’t been able to think the word, and for a long time, she hadn’t needed to. There’d been a party to plan, with a very exclusive guest list.

  A killer to catch.

  A match to strike.

  Now the world was on fire, and Parker Addison was becoming a grain of sand. The wind rustled around her, tangling in her hair. One year ago, Shane had tangled his fingers into her hair and said, We’re going to stop being scared. Together.

  “And then?” Ruby waited for him to answer, but tonight there was no voice whispering in her ear. Or rather, the voice whispering wasn’t his. Gavin and Juniper were murmuring beside her, and she picked up the words, “He’s going to be all right. They took him to the hospital, but he was awake, and he was talking to . . .” Gavin paused, the smile slipping from his face. “Where’s Parker? Did he—”

  “We couldn’t save him,” Juniper broke in, gaze flicking to Ruby. “We couldn’t save either of them.”

  Gavin inhaled sharply, clapping a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t think she’d really do it. I didn’t—” He broke off, narrowing his eyes. Now that he knew the worst of it, he was noticing other things. “What happened to you?” he asked Juniper, eyeing her singed hair and clothing.

  Juniper’s lips tugged into a smile. It was beautiful. It was the sunlight, after the longest night of the year. “The fire and I did a little dancing. But I thought we were doing the waltz, and it turned out to be more of a tango.”

  “But you’re all right?” Gavin’s fingers made a circle on her skin. The fire had barely touched her, but on her left shoulder, there was a welt.

  Ruby believed it would heal. She had to believe it, because Juniper had danced with the flames for her. To save her life. To prove how it felt to watch the only person who truly knows you disappear into dust. Even Shane hadn’t known the truth about Ruby’s father, and now she’d never be able to tell him.

  But Juniper knew everything, and still, she’d fought for Ruby. Still, she loved her. And Ruby needed to be loved. Maybe it was wrong, maybe she was supposed to love herself, the rest of the world be damned, but she couldn’t stop waiting to be welcomed into the universe.

  To be chosen.

  Now, as Gavin leaned into Juniper, whispering about hot chocolate and blankets, Ruby stepped closer to them. “Do you think they have hot chocolate at the hospital? I just . . .” She swallowed, pushing out the words, “I don’t want Brett to be alone.”

  Gavin studied her a minute, the tightness in his jaw softening. “They probably do, and it’s probably terrible. But I bet if you asked very nicely, one of us might skip over to the coffee shop across the street and get you the good stuff.”

  “Skipping? Do you promise?” Ruby’s lips curved up.

  “I want marshmallows in mine,” Juniper said.

  “Oh my God.” Gavin held out his arms, one for each of them. “So demanding.”

  “You offered.” Juniper looped her arm through his. Then, before Ruby could take Gavin’s arm, Juniper reached out, pulling Ruby to her side. “Stay close,” she said.

  Ruby nodded. She couldn’t shake the feeling of not belonging with them, of not deserving to walk beside them. But she didn’t fight it. She was too tired to fight, and besides, she’d meant what she said about Brett.

  “Come on.” She led them toward the police cars that were pulling up to the street. “They’re going to want to talk to us anyway. We might as well ride with them.”

  Juniper sucked in a breath. “You, running toward the police. That’s new.”

  “You know me, Junebug. I’m full of surprises.”

  Juniper started to laugh. It was sharp and sudden, taking over her body in an instant and leaving just as quickly. Her hand rose to her lips, as if she couldn’t quite believe she’d just been laughing. Couldn’t quite believe she was capable of it.

  Gavin peered at both of them. “Something happened, didn’t it? I missed something.”

  “You missed half the night,” Ruby quipped, pulling them along, toward the flashing blue lights. Her stomach was tightening, and it wasn’t because she had a complicated relationship with Fallen Oaks’ finest. Deep down, in the core of her being, she knew she needed to come clean to Gavin about what she’d done. She needed to come clean to Brett. But tonight they would bring him offerings of hot chocolate and blankets, and make sure he knew that he wasn’t alone.

  None of them were.

  The police welcomed them openly, eager to make sense of this night of fire and porcelain. They climbed into the car together, three little criminals ducking their heads. Three little liars, beautiful and terrifying in their capacity for love, their capacity for vengeance.

  When the door closed, Ruby turned to the window. Juniper was squeezed into the middle seat, holding Gavin’s hand, and Ruby didn’t want them to know that she was crying. But she must’ve hitched in a breath too quickly, because Juniper turned, whispering, “Stay with me. Please?”

  “I will. I am.” Ruby’s fingers laced through Juniper’s, her gaze drifting out into the night. The dawn was coming, but the sky was still dark, the moon luminous above their heads. Blue and white. Sapphire and ivory, like the love of her life.

  Someday Ruby’s soul would dance into the darkness, and they would reunite. There would be eyes like eternal twilight and moon-pale skin. A mischievous smile. And maybe, if everything went exactly as planned, her broken heart would heal and her pain would soften to sweetness.

  But first, there would be life.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thank you to my unstoppable agent, Mandy Hubbard, for encouraging me, inspiring me, and being such a fierce advocate for my work. You are truly one of a kind.

  Thank you to Ruta Rimas for your editing brilliance, your creativity, and your all-around awesomeness. This book is so much stronger because of you.

  Thank you to Nicole Fiorica, Bridget Madsen, Valerie Shea, Dan Potash, Lisa Moraleda, Milena Giunco, and everyone at McElderry Books who helped put this book into the world. I could not have asked for a more talented, dedicated team.

  Thank you to my early readers: AdriAnne Strickland, Jenn Kunrath, Alex Lidell, Dan Ward, and Mark O’Brien. You helped me more than I can possibly articulate, and I am eternally grateful to you.

  Thank you to my family, the Pitchers and the Hauths, for your continued support and enthusiasm.

  Thank you to Demitria Lunetta, Rachele Alpine, and all of The Lucky 13s. I am so lucky to be able to share this adventure with you.

  Thank you to Chris Hauth for being an unending source of sweetness, humor, and insight.

  And thank you to my readers for being the unique, wonderful people that you are.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Chelsea Pitcher is a karaoke-singing, ocean-worshipping Oregonian with a penchant for twisty mysteries. She began gobbling up stories as soon as she could read and especially enjoys delving into the darker p
laces to see if she can draw out some light. You can visit her at Chelseapitcher.com and follow her on Twitter at @Chelsea_Pitcher.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Text copyright © 2018 by Chelsea Pitcher

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