Broken Lion

by Devon Hartford

  “Then why did you today?”

  He heaved a sigh, but said nothing.

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  He groaned. “I didn’t tell you this, but Don came by the dojo the other day, and we had a talk. Long story short, he doesn’t want me seeing you and Daniel anymore.”

  “He said that?” I was shocked.

  “Yes. Point blank. He even… Fuck. He even called you his wife.”

  “His ex-wife,” I corrected.

  “No, his wife. I think it was a, what do you call it, a Freudian slip?”

  “Like he wants to get back together with me?”

  “Exactly. That’s why I freaked when I saw him all over you. When you said you kissed him, I saw red. Actual red. That doesn’t even happen when I’m in the cage.”

  “I didn’t kiss him. He tried to steal a kiss. I slapped him immediately.”

  “Oh, wait.” He chuckled. “You slapped him?”

  “You better believe I did. I made you a promise, Lion. And I keep my promises. I’m not going to date anyone while we wait for a year. That includes my ex-husband.”

  “So, you don’t want to get back together with Don? Not even a little bit?” Lion sounded so innocent asking, so vulnerable.

  I smiled at the phone, “Not even a molecular bit. I want to be with you, Lion. No one else.” Did I really mean that? I hoped I did. Otherwise, someone else was controlling my mouth and that freaked me out.

  “My sentiments exactly.”

  I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Relief about what, I wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter.

  “Hey, I know I screwed up royally today, but is there any chance you and Daniel want to hang out?”

  “As long as it’s mellow and relaxing, I’m game.”

  “How about the beach? I can grab a sun umbrella from my house, and some towels and a cooler full of food and drinks. Bring a frisbee, a volleyball, a football, any kind of ball you want. Oh, and we can stay out of the ocean. Just in case there’s sharks.”

  I laughed. “Okay. We’ll have a Jaws-free day at the beach. But bring your bathing suit. We can at least get our feet wet.”

  “Sounds perfect. Oh, hey. Brigid?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I…”

  “What?”

  “I…”

  Racing through my head, I love you Lion I love you Lion I love—

  “Never mind. I’ll call you when I have everything packed and ready to go.”

  “Okay.”

  Had he almost said he loved me?

  I hoped so, because I was loving him more and more every day.

  What was I getting myself into?

  I hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake.

  For everybody’s sake.

  Me, Lion, and Daniel.

  Chapter 34

  LION

  When we were at the beach that afternoon and Daniel was busy throwing my frisbee around with some other kids, I thought about telling Brigid that Donald had guessed I was her patient. She deserved to know so she didn’t get blindsided by him if he decided to tell somebody at the hospital. But if she knew, she might decide to cut her losses now and get rid of me before I made things worse. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. It would’ve ruined the fun we were having in the sand and sun, and we all needed to relax after the shit-storm at her condo. I had no idea if Daniel had seen any of what happened, but he must’ve heard something. Unless he wasn’t at the house? I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to ask.

  I felt like a douche.

  “This is nice isn’t it?” Brigid sat on the towel under the sun umbrella. She wore her one piece again and looked sexy as hell.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t even deserve to look at her because I was such a fuckup. “How are your wrists?”

  “They’re fine. I can’t believe Donald tried to kiss me.”

  Was she testing me? I chuckled, “I can.” I gave her a look. “I mean, look at you.” Meaning, she was gorgeous. But I didn’t feel comfortable telling her that right then.

  She knew what I meant. She blushed and turned away to look at the waves crashing onto the sand. She was keeping distance between us.

  I couldn’t blame her.

  Why did I have to hit that stupid wall? Blowing up like a baby in front of Donald had made things that much worse.

  I was an idiot.

  I was also a liability to Brigid.

  Maybe Donald wouldn’t do anything.

  Maybe.

  Maybe he would forget what I’d done.

  I chuckled to myself. Not even.

  Maybe he and I would make nice and we’d be pals forever.

  Yeah, right.

  I was screwed.

  I wasn’t sure when I’d tell Brigid about what Donald knew. Eventually. Maybe tomorrow. Just not today. For all I knew, he was driving straight to the hospital to tell them everything and today was the last day I would ever spend with Brigid and Daniel.

  I wanted to enjoy their company one last time.

  I deserved that much.

  Not really.

  Chapter 35

  BRIGID

  Everything went well until the day of Lion’s surgery, which was today. No more drama from Donald, and no retaliation against him from Lion like I’d feared. I secretly wished all the drama was behind us and Lion really was the man I hoped.

  Sadly, I couldn’t be there for him at the hospital because it might arouse suspicion. I didn’t want Dr. Hackett seeing me. He was the one person most likely to figure out what was going on between me and Lion.

  That morning, I wanted to be at Lion’s house with him, but I had Daniel. So I told Lion to call me before he went into surgery.

  At 7:30am, he did. I was still in my bedroom with the door closed when I picked up the phone to answer.

  “Hey.”

  “Irish.” His voice smiled.

  “Are you going into surgery?”

  “Not quite. But I’m at the hospital and they already got me in a gown and got the IV going. Oh, hey, I showered with the soap you gave me before I left the house, like you said.”

  “Good. Did you eat or drink anything?”

  “Not since midnight. I’m starving and dying of thirst, but I can deal. By the way, my phone battery is about to die. Forgot to charge it and my charger is at home. So if I suddenly cut out, you’ll know why.”

  “Okay. Oh, did you write yes on your knee?” Putting some kind of word or marking on the knee that needed surgery was standard practice. It prevented the doctor from operating on the wrong one.

  “Actually, I drew a big arrow and wrote ‘fix this one’ above it. You can’t miss it.”

  “Great. Who’s driving you?”

  “I’ve got a couple people here for me. I’ll be fine. You gonna be there smiling at me when I wake up?”

  I sighed. “I wish I could. But we both know it’s best for me to stay away.”

  “I know, I know. The rules. You’re right.”

  I needed to change the subject. “Do you have everything set up at home?”

  “Yeah. Got the freezer stocked with ice. Fridge stocked with food. My couch is set up like a bed so I’ll be close to the kitchen. I’ll have people here all week to help out. You’re welcome to come by.”

  That I could do without worry. “I’ll be over whenever I’m not working or with Daniel.”

  “You can bring him. I miss him.” Lion hadn’t seen Daniel in a week.

  “Maybe I will. I’m just worried about him saying something to Donald.”

  “Fuck that guy.”

  “Sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

  “No, it’s cool,” he sighed. “He’ll always be part of the equation.”

  I loved how he said always. I also wanted to say I loved him, but I felt shy. Knowing he was going into surgery, I should just say it. But things had been so complicated lately, I just couldn’t. For at least a minute, I tried. I really did. But I was so chok
ed up with a confusion of emotions, nothing came out.

  “You okay, Irish?”

  “Yeah. I’m fine.”

  “Hey, I want to tell you something. Before surgery, I mean.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. You know there’s always a chance something will go wrong when you go under.”

  “Oh, Lion, don’t worry about that. You’re young and healthy. You’ll be fine.”

  “Still. You never know. I’ve seen too many people die way too young. Shit happens.”

  “It does,” I said quietly. “Can we not talk about this?”

  “I want you to know, whatever happens, I fucking love you. Okay?” He said it defensively, like he was afraid of what I’d say.

  He didn’t need to worry.

  I was speechless.

  I hated that we were having this conversation over the phone. Had we been in the same room, I would’ve just hugged him and cried tears of joy against his chest.

  “Irish? You okay?”

  Yes, I mouthed. The word didn’t even come out as a whisper.

  “Mr. Maxwell? It’s time for your sedative,” a voice said in the background. It was one of the pre-op nurses.

  “Yeah, just a second,” Lion said to the nurse. “Hey, Irish? Are you okay? Did I go too far? I’m really sorry. I should’ve waited. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  I didn’t know if it was the gravity of the moment, my pent up feelings for this man, or some combination of the two, but I literally could not speak. I sobbed silently.

  “Irish? I gotta go. My phone battery is almost dead. I’m really sorry for springing that on you, but I just—”

  The line suddenly went dead right before I blubbered, “I love you too!”

  Something about the dead connection started me wailing. I didn’t get myself under control until I heard Daniel mutter through my bedroom door.

  “Mom? Are you okay?”

  “Yes, sweetheart,” I sniffed. “I’m fine.”

  I was a mess, but I was fine.

  The likelihood of Lion dying during surgery was extremely slim.

  Extremely.

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  I was a nervous wreck the rest of the morning. I knew the surgery would be quick, but Lion would be groggy long after. I could’ve called the hospital and had someone check on him, but I didn’t want anyone on staff knowing it was me asking. I could’ve easily gone in and looked for him in recovery, but that was too big a risk.

  I really hated these rules.

  They weren’t mine.

  They were the hospital’s and the state medical board’s.

  So I waited.

  I took Daniel to the park for a distraction. While he played and ran around, all I thought about was Lion.

  I hoped he was all right.

  At the rate things were going, I could check his status on the hospital computer when I got to work in the afternoon. Only a few more hours.

  While Daniel swung from the jungle gym, my phone rang.

  I ripped it out of my purse.

  I didn’t recognize the number.

  Half-panicked, I answered anyway.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello?” The strange voice was gravelly, an older man I didn’t recognize.

  “Who is this?”

  “Is this Irish?”

  “How do you know that name?” I was fully panicked now. The only person who called me Irish was Lion. How did this person know? Unless—

  “I’m calling about Lion.”

  A hurricane of fear surged through me. “Is he all right?”

  “He’s fine. Little punchy, but he’s fine.”

  “I’m sorry, but who is this?”

  “Dean Jackson.”

  “Coach!” Lion laughed in the background, his voice a blessing. Thank goodness. “Is that my lucky leprechaun?” Lion was loopy, all right. “Gimme the phone, Coach!”

  “Hold on a damn minute, I’m talking to the lady.”

  “She’s a leprechaun! She has four leaf clovers coming out her ass!”

  “You gonna have my fist coming out your ass in a minute if you don’t shut the hell up and let me finish talking.”

  “Ass fisting!!!!” Lion squealed laughter.

  I giggled, my worries gone.

  “Sorry about him, ma’am,” Dean said. “He’s fine. Still waiting to hear from the doctor, but I think it went okay. Lion told me before surgery to call you up after. Set your mind at ease.”

  “Oh, thank you so much. Are you going to—”

  “Gimme that!” Lion cackled.

  “Would you get your damn hands off the—”

  “Brigid! It’s me! Lion! I love you, babe! I love you so much.”

  I laughed, happy tears running down my cheeks. “I love you too, you stupid idiot.”

  “She loves me, Coach! Did you hear that? She loves me! Brigid Flanagan loves me!”

  “Would you give me the damn phone?!” Rustling noises as the men wrestled for the phone.

  “Dr. Ass Gasket!” Lion chuckled. “How is your asshole? Is it gasketed?”

  “I’m gonna have to call you back,” Dean said. “The doctor is here. Got a couple questions I wanna ask him about taking care of Lion’s knee. I’ll have Lion call you as soon as the laughing gas or whatever it is wears off.”

  “Okay, thanks.” My heart was pounding.

  “Bye now.”

  The call ended.

  One thought ate away at me like a thrashing school of piranhas: Had Dr. Hackett heard Lion shout my name and say that he loved me or not?

  My nerves from before the surgery were nothing compared to what they were now.

  Chapter 36

  LION

  I wasn’t sure where I was.

  My knee was about two miles away.

  I couldn’t feel it at all. It was someone else’s knee.

  Voices.

  Dean, Cahill, Brigid.

  “We should elevate his leg.”

  “Can you hand me those pillows.”

  “Should we ice it?”

  “Not yet. When he wakes up.”

  “I’ll get a blanket.”

  “Thanks.”

  My mom said, I’m so happy for you, Lion. Brigid is a good woman. Just the kind you need to keep you in line. Don’t laugh. It’ll be good for you to have someone strong now that I’m not around. So tell me, when do I get a grandson?

  A second later, it was dark outside.

  My knee was being stabbed.

  Were they still operating?

  What the fuck?

  STAB!!

  Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain!

  “Sorry,” Brigid whispered.

  I opened my eyes. “Irish?” My throat was dry as beach sand.

  “You need to take your meds. Your pain block is starting to wear off.” She held a glass of water and two pills.

  “What is it?” I croaked.

  “Vicodin for pain and Toradol for inflammation.”

  Normally, I wasn’t one for medicine of any kind, but I would make an exception for the hole somebody had blown in my knee. I downed both pills and the entire glass of water and fell back into unconsciousness. Some time later, I woke to a strange voice I vaguely recognized.

  “JoJo, this is your final rose…”

  I blinked my eyes and realized I was in the living room. The TV was on. Brigid sat on the huge couch near my feet.

  I grunted, “Are you watching The Bachelorette?”

  She smirked at me. “Do you have a problem with that?”

  “We are no longer friends,” I chuckled.

  “I like this show.”

  “Can I have another pain pill?”

  “It’s too soon. It’s only been two hours since your last one.”

  “Yeah,” I grinned, “but this show is killing me.”

  “Boo hoo. You big baby. Romance isn’t painful.”

  “This show is. Everyone says the same shit every show. I’m so excited. He’s so amazing. I’
m so excited. She’s so amazing. I’ve never felt like this before. I feel myself opening up to you. I’m starting to fall for dumbass number one. Dumbass number two showed me a deeper side today. I’m so excited. It’s so amazing. I’m so excited. It’s so amazingly scripted.”

  “Wait. Do you watch The Bachelorette?”

  “Hell no!”

  “Then how do you know so much about it?”

  “I don’t know shit about it. Except it’s shit.”

  “Liar.”

  I chuckled. “Maybe.”

  “Then you won’t mind if I turn it up?” The volume was really low.

  “Fine. Go ahead. But if I vomit, it’s your fault.”

  “You love it.”

  And I love you.

  I hadn’t forgotten that I’d told her before I went into surgery. I didn’t remember hearing her say it back. Maybe she felt the same way. Maybe she didn’t. No, that wasn’t right. I knew she did. I wasn’t sure why, but I did.

  More importantly, what mattered was she was here.

  Everybody knew actions spoke louder than words.

  <<<<<<<>>>>>>>

  When The Bachelorette was over, I was sleepy and yawned big. “Is Dean still here?”

  “No. He went home when you were sleeping.”

  “What about Cahill?”

  “I sent him home too.”

  “When?”

  “Right before The Bachelorette. His wife called. I told him it was okay for him to leave.”

  “Why’d you do that? He was supposed to stay here tonight in case I needed something.”

  “I took the night off.”

  “You did?”

  She nodded. Actions, not words.

  “Okay then. Hey, I know you met Cahill before, but what’d you think of Dean?”

  “I like him,” she smiled. “He’s really nice. Much nicer than you.”

  “What?” I laughed. “I’m a saint and you know it.”

  She squeezed my leg. The one that hadn’t been operated on. It wasn’t hard to miss. The surgery knee looked mummified.