‘My day was okay. Nope, no bad guys today. Tomorrow I might get lucky.’
My body grows hot when she responds. ‘If I was there you could’ve been lucky tonight lol.’
She’s been more her old self the last week, joking with me again. Sometimes I don’t know what to respond, like now.
‘Don’t make me video call you. You can always give me a striptease then.’
WTF! Did I just suggest sexting with her. No, douchebag, you suggested actual video sex! I drop my face to my hands. I’m too afraid to look up at her response, eventually I peek through my fingers.
‘Wouldn’t you like it if I shook my arse for you lol. I have to go now, so we’ll have to take a rain check on that.’
Aww, just fuckin’ great. I scared her off.
‘Be good.’ I’m itching to type something else, but end up sending her my usual response.
Just fuckin’ awesome, Zac. Just because you have a permanent hard-on when you talk to her it doesn’t mean you should perve all over her!
Tomorrow I need to do some serious damage control and get us back into a comfortable space. I don’t want to push her too hard.
~*~
My Sunday starts bad. Emma just showed me a photo Chloe sent her. Some dude has his arm around her waist. Fine, it’s a group photo, but the prick still has his arm around her.
By the time I get to Laurie’s grave, I’m ten different levels of upset.
“I know. I’m the one who let her go. I can’t get upset if she decides to see someone.” I stare at the grave for a long moment, before I huff an annoyed breath. “Friends, I hate that word. I don’t want to be her friend. I want to be more. You’ll understand won’t you, Sweetheart? I’ll always love you but it’s time for me to move on. I know I can make her happy. We both deserve to be happy.”
After the visit to the cemetery, I’m determined to find out who the prick in the photo is. I message Chloe the second I get home. I know I sound like a jealous douche, but I can’t stop myself.
‘Saw a photo of you. Who’s the guy that can’t stand on his own?’
Five fuckin’ hours! That’s how long she makes me wait to answer.
‘He’s a friend. You sound jealous. Friends don’t get jealous.’
There’s that damn word again. She obviously wants to keep me in the friend-zone. I resist the urge to bang my head against the desk.
‘Friends still care about each other. I’m just worried.’ I bold the word ‘friends’. I don’t care if I’m upsetting her by being sarcastic.
‘I know friends care about each other. I love ya tons, too. TTYL.’
What the hell does TTYL mean? I look it up quickly. “Talk to you later? Great! Just fuckin’ great! I’ve managed to scare Chloe away again.” I hit the desk, angry with myself.
I’m going to lose her friendship if I don’t back down. The next message I type, even though it’s the total opposite of what I feel. ‘You’re right, I’m a prick. You’re allowed to have fun. That’s why I love you so much, after all, because you’re such a care free person. TTYL.’
~*~
Chapter Seventeen
Birdy – All you never say
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iB5MLmmgyE
Chloe~
I feel an even bigger sense of loss since I last chatted with Zac. I put myself out there saying I love him. I really thought we were on the same page and me pushing him like I did would get him to –
“What? You think he’d do the same as Aiden and cross and ocean for you? Come on! Pft…” I’ve been lying on my bed scolding myself for telling him how I feel and then running away like a headless chicken.
His response gutted me. In not so many words he told me to have fun, in other words to find someone new and shag away.
Ugh … my life sucks balls. Huge donkey ones.
~*~
The next day I’m the first to message Zac. I need to make things right. I can’t lose his friendship, I at least need that if I can’t have him.
‘Sorry for being such a wanker yesterday. You’ve become a dear friend to me and I treasure our chats. I don’t want to lose them. ;)’
“There I even added a damn smiley face. Fuck, Chloe you’re talking way too much to yourself,” I scold while I wait for his reply. “As long as you don’t answer yourself, you’re not mental.” I blow a few strands out of my face. “Oh fuck it, I just answered myself. I’m a total nutty arse.”
‘I’m the one who should apologize. You’re a dear friend to me too.’
“Ugh, that’s it?” I rub my eyes to ease the sting I already feel coming on. “What did you expect a bloody love declaration? At least he’s your friend, be bloody happy with that.”
I need to put some space between us. This chatting everyday is what’s driving me mental. I need to go out again. I need to have fun.
I do just that. I log off and get dressed in my usual short skirt and matching jacket. Tonight I’m getting rat-arsed. I’m not coming home before I drink Zac out of my system.
~*~
Chapter Eighteen
Pentatonix - Say Something
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dYlvdLdK9w
Zac~
I haven’t heard from Chloe in two days. She still hasn’t responded to my message. I think it’s time I realize we’re only meant to be friends. At least she opened my eyes and made me see that I’m ready to move on. I’m still a hot-blooded man with needs and it’s okay to start a new future. I should thank her. Of course I won’t! I’m just saying I should.
~*~
It’s been a month since we had our ‘friends’ conversation. I now hear from Chloe once a week, ironically it’s also on Sundays. I now spend my Sundays talking to both the women who left me. Come on, you have got to see the irony in that.
I don’t stalk her anymore, well not every day, now it’s just every third or fourth day, depending on the case I have.
I still miss her, but I know this is for the better. Some people cross your path and you’re just meant to be friends. She’ll always be special to me.
~*~
Chapter Nineteen
Lucia - Silence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAm_uoV1z5k
Chloe~
It’s Sunday and I’m waiting like an idiot for Zac to sign on. He’s already thirty minutes late.
After waiting another hour I sign off. I go to my kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine. Bugger that, I’m done. If he doesn’t even have the decency to let me know he won’t make it, why should I bother.
I finish the bottle on my own before I drag my knackered arse to bed.
That night I sleep like a baby, knowing things are really over between us. Zac is really just another friend.
~*~
(to be continued in Zac…)
Coming late 2014
ZAC
I found love twice … I lost it twice.
Screw that, who says I have to be the one to lose again?
I told Chloe I would fight for her and I’m going to. She’s my forever-girl and this time I’m going to make her see it.
~*~
Chapter One
Gabriella Aplin – Human
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id_k_uNUud8
Zac~
“Idiot,” Aiden pipes up out of the blue. We’ve been on this stake-out for nine hours now. My ass is feeling numb and I missed my chat session with Chloe, and now I’m being called names?
“Why am I an idiot?” I decide to tolerate him.
“You know why. You let the opportunity of a lifetime pass you by. You know,” he turns in his seat to face me, “actually you’re not an idiot, you’re a dumbass. You and Chloe could’ve had what I have with Emma.”
“You’re right I am.” Wha-at? I’m not going to deny letting Chloe slip through my fingers was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I should’ve done more to keep her here instead of just waving goodbye and watching her go back to the U.K. I feel empty since she lef
t. It’s a different emptiness to what I experienced after Laurie passed away. With Laurie I felt empty and broken, because I knew I’d never see her again – she was just gone, taken from me. With Chloe I feel empty and frustrated beyond belief, knowing I could’ve done so much more to keep her. Aiden is right, I’m a dumbass for letting the chance of a lifetime slip through my fingers.
Aiden slaps my arm and points out my window. “There’s our guy. Let’s bring him in.” Thank God! We’ve been working this specific case for five months. We finally got a hot lead that flushed out this specific drug dealer.
I open my door. A loud crack explodes in my ears and then glass shatters all over me. Shock ripples through my body, sending me into high alert.
“Fuck! Zac!” Aiden yells, and grabs me from behind, his arm coming around my chest. He pulls me back from the door, while starting the car. Only when he speeds away and I hear the bullets slamming into the car, do I realize we’re being shot at. “Fuck no! Not again. You just hold on. I’ll get you to the hospital in minutes.”
Aiden’s words don’t make sense. A harsh cough overwhelms me. I feel something wet and warmth spread down my side. Aiden presses his hand hard down under my arm. I try to sit up but my body won’t respond, I only feel an icy, sharp pain spreading through my chest.
“Zac! Zac, say somethin’,” Aiden yells, near hysterics.
I open my mouth to answer him, to tell him to calm down, but instead blood trickles from my mouth. I start to see spots and then the thought hits me hard – Fuck, I’ve been shot!
I want to tell Aiden to tell Chloe I love her, not as a friend but really love her with all my heart, but I can’t get any words out. More spots dance in front of my eyes and the edges of my vision darkens. A coldness seeps through my skin and spreads over my body. The pain throbs with a heartbeat of its own. My chest starts to feel heavy with every breath I suck in. More blood bubbles up my throat and I struggle to suck in the next stabbing breath.
“Don’t you dare leave me, too! You fight, just hold on for me, Zac!” Aiden presses harder down on my side. My head feels too heavy to lift. It feels as if my whole body is going into lockdown.
I cough and droplets of blood spray over Aiden’s pants. If only I had told Chloe I loved her – it’s the last thought drifting through my mind before the darkness swallows me whole
~*~
Chapter Two
Birdy – Wings
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC90ZWfGM1I
Chloe~
Oh, sweet baby minions, I feel knackered. That bottle of wine is pounding against my skull. There’s even a shrill ringing sound in my ears.
A few seconds later I realize it’s my phone doing the ringing, not the wine. Oh bloody hell man, it’s still dark out! I glance at the time before I focus on the screen. Why would Emma be phoning me at two a.m.? A surge of worry hits me. I hope it’s nothing serious. I pull myself into a sitting position.
“Hi,” I croak into the phone.
“Chloe,” Emma cries and she instantly has all my attention.
“What’s wrong, Sunshine? Are you alright? Is Laurie alright?” I start to ramble through the questions. The fuzziness in my mind clears right up.
Emma starts to sob uncontrollably. “Zac’s been shot.” The words ripple through me and my breathing stops. She didn’t just say that! I get off the bed and start to pace the length of my room.
“Chloe, you there? Did you hear me? Zac’s been shot! It’s bad. They’re busy operating now.”
“What the bloody fuck?” The words rip from me. Anxiety pumps through my body as Emma’s words start to sink in. I’m going to vomit. Oh God, let Zac be alright!
“I’m in the waiting room. They’ve just stitched up Aiden’s arm. He got a flesh wound, but Zac wasn’t that lucky.” Emma takes a shuddering breath and her hysterics die down a little, while mine is building up inside of me like a violent volcano ready to erupt. “We’re waiting to hear how Zac is. I thought you’d want to know.”
“I’m coming. I’ll take the first flight out. Send me the hospitals details,” I say with my voice hoarse from the emotions I’m trying to control. I can’t afford to lose my shit now. I need to get to Zac. I should’ve known something was wrong when he didn’t make our usual Google chat. He’s not the type to leave a person hanging.
We say our goodbyes and I rush to my cupboard so I can pack. I phone and book the first flight to South Carolina. My flight leaves in four hours, I need to get everything together. I can lose it when I see that Zac is alright.
The thoughts that I’ll never feel his arms around me, never get to make passionate love to him again, never get a chance with him – they strangle the very air from my lungs.
It’s funny how you think you have all the time in the world. You think the guy will turn into your Prince Charming and come sweep you off your feet. Not in this day and age – you want something you’ve got to take it. I should have learned that lesson with everything that happened with my parents.
I want Zac. I need him. I need the chance to try and make him mine.
With my emotions torn between hope and fear, I grab my bag and run for the door. In just a few hours I’ll see Zac with my own eyes. I need to know he’s alright.
I don’t know how, but I promise if he pulls through that I’ll try to be just what he needs.
~*~
Something Sweet
Summer 2007
I’m getting ready for the last senior party before everyone heads off to college. I normally don’t go to these types of parties, or any parties really. I’m making an exception tonight though because I feel it’s time to actually do something out of my comfort zone. Tonight I won’t worry about consequences. I will do whatever I want, whenever I want, and with whomever I want. I’m eighteen years old and tired of trying to please everyone with being “the good girl”. My ex-boyfriend, Guy, of four years broke up with me last week because he ‘didn’t have time for me.’” I guess he had enough time for, Faith, who he had sex with later that night. Yeah, of course I was sad and hurt at first, but now I’m just pissed that I wasted so much time on him.
My phone buzzes on the bathroom counter breaking me from my thoughts.
Jessica: Are you ready yet?
Me: Almost. Five minutes.
I look at the girl staring back at me in the mirror. Normally I just try to look decent enough not to scare people, but tonight I’m going for hot. I left my long blonde hair down and decided to straighten it versus going with my natural wavy look. My eye shadow is a smoky grey and I applied so many coats of waterproof mascara I lost count. It helped to bring out my blue-green eyes so it was worth it. I pull down my little V-neck, black dress for about the tenth time since I put it on. How can girls wear dresses like this and still manage to function without flashing the whole world?
Another annoying buzz.
Jessica: Hurry up boo. We’re already late!!!!
Me: Chill. Walking out now.
“Mom, I’m leaving. See ya later,” I say as I peek into her room.
She smiles up from the book she’s reading. “Okay, sweetie. Have fun and be careful.”
My mom is the best. She pretty much lets me do whatever I want.
As I walk out to Jes’ blue Ford truck, I can already hear the radio blasting MiMS’ “This Is Why I’m Hot”. I laugh silently and open her passenger door.
“Damn, Ainsley!” she screams, while turning down the music. “You’re seriously going to start some shit tonight.”
I give her a confused glance. “Stop being dramatic, Jes.” I sigh, and flip my hair over my shoulder. There’s no way she can know that before we even get to the party.
She rolls her eyes. “You look freakin’ hot. Just watch. This is your first time being single since ninth grade. Every guy there is going to try to hit that before you leave.”
“Oh my God, did you really just say ‘hit that’?” I giggle.
“Unfortunately that probably includes that pric
k, Guy. I heard Faith has already left for Florida State, so he’ll be looking for someone to fuck tonight,” she adds.
I flinch at her words. “Whatever. I wouldn’t touch him again if he was the last person on earth. I’m going out to have a good time with you. That’s all.”
She smiles wickedly at me before backing out of the driveway. My heart immediately beats faster. Jes rarely smiles like that, but when she does it’s never good for me.
“Jes, just spit it out!”
She briefly glances in my direction, her smile is still scary as hell. “Well, I heard Greyson changed his mind and decided to come to the party. I’m just wondering how long it’ll take before you give in to those dimples of his.” She chuckles and turns the music back up as if she didn’t just drop that huge atomic bomb on me.
My heart starts to beat so fast and hard I swear I can hear it over the ridiculously loud music playing in her truck. Greyson Blevins is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. His hair is cut in a short black Mohawk and he has the most intense green eyes, but nothing can beat his perfect smile – it’s impossible to resist. His lips are full and kissable and when he smiles, his dimples make you see stars. I’ve had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. When I moved to Tampa in eighth grade he was the first to befriend me. We were inseparable until Guy asked me out. I said yes to Guy because while Greyson was nice to me, he never acted as if he was interested in anything more than being friends. Guy is the exact opposite of Greyson. Guy looks like an Abercrombie model with his blond spiked hair and baby blue eyes. After I started dating Guy, Greyson acted as if I no longer existed. I missed his friendship but I tried not to let it bother me. Even though I was happy with Guy, every time I saw Greyson with another girl, my heart broke a little. I would never be what he wanted and I needed to get over that.
I made the mistake of telling Jes this during one of our girl nights. She never liked Guy and always tried to convince me that I deserved better. I just brushed it off. Guy could be really charming, but as time went on he started changing into a demanding and selfish prick who apparently cheated on me more than one occasion.
Chloe: Tainted Ink Series Novella 1.5 (The Tainted Ink Series) Page 6
