Everything Has Changed

by Mia Kayla

  “Sure,” Evan huffed.

  A moment later, he switched gears and leaned into me. He was just close enough that I got a whiff of his musky cologne.

  “Enough about Jimmy. Let me buy you a drink.”

  I hesitated. It had to have been more than ten minutes by now. Jimmy would be barreling through here any minute now.

  When I glanced at the VIP area separated by the red velvet rope, Evan turned his head to follow my line of sight.

  “I’m sure he has enough company to keep him busy anyway.”

  Evan obviously knew Jimmy was here tonight, and he was probably right.

  I held up a finger. “Okay, one drink.”

  “Coke?” Evan chuckled to himself as he eyed my beverage.

  “Yeah, not much of a drinker.” A flush crept up my face.

  Even though it was just Evan, I shied away, embarrassed at my nonexistent liquor tolerance at the mere age of twenty-two. I never had to explain my lack of partying or tolerance for drinking to Jimmy. He just got me. He knew me.

  “I can see that.” Evan tipped back his beer and leaned against the bar.

  “So, you’re playing for Green Bay now?” I asked, changing the subject and making small talk.

  Jimmy wasn’t the only lucky football player from Deerfield to make his pro dreams come true. I’d heard through the grapevine that Evan had played for the NFL, and I’d seen Evan on ESPN a few times. Then, I’d caught wind a while ago that he’d been traded.

  “Yeah. I didn’t see that coming, but I guess it’s a good thing. I’m playing for a better team.”

  I noticed a disconnect between the enthusiasm in his voice and the look in his eyes that made me doubt that he was happy about the trade.

  “That’s great. Plus, you get to be closer to home and your family,” I pointed out.

  He started off in playing for San Francisco which, was at the opposite end of the United States. Now being traded to Wisconsin, Evan could drive instead of having to buy a plane ticket home.

  His eyes took in my face, casting me a look that made my cheeks flush.

  “What?” I asked when he didn’t speak.

  “Nothing. You’re just so damn hot. That’s all,” he said. “Last time I saw you, you were this scrawny teenage girl with killer legs. You’re definitely not that same teenager anymore.”

  I laughed awkwardly. “Well, that was a while ago, Evan.” I averted my eyes and focused on the group of women to our right. “And here I thought that something was on my face.”

  An uncomfortable silence built between us, only broken by an awkward question.

  “So, if you’re not dating Jimmy, who are you dating?”

  “No one.” Disappointment etched my tone even though I didn’t want it to be there. I dropped my gaze, not wanting to start this conversation.

  Why delve into my nonexistent love life and bore him to death? I’d been on a total of two dates post-high school, and only one had ended in a goodnight peck on the cheek.

  “I’m too busy with law school,” I told him simply.

  Maybe if I made excuses out loud, I’d believe them. It was embarrassing and sad to admit that most of my undergrad years had been spent taking care of my mother, who had suffered a severe bout of depression from the early death of my father.

  It wasn’t like I hadn’t had offers. I’d kept myself from dating, so it was my own stupidity, holding out for a man I would never have.

  “Well, since we’re not in high school anymore and you’re not dating anyone”—he leaned into me, our elbows brushing—“how about I take you to dinner sometime?”

  His proximity made me nervous. “Uh…I really don’t have time to date.”

  “Do you eat?” he prodded.

  “What?” I was confused by his question. “Yeah, I eat.” I mean, duh.

  “Well then, you can have dinner with me,” he answered, like it was obvious and inevitable. “You have to eat sometime. You can fit me in between studying.” He ducked his head, inching closer.. “Bliss Carrington, can I take you on a date sometime?” His voice dropped to a more intimate level.

  I peered up at the guy who used to tease me in elementary school and who had ignored me in high school, and I debated whether I should tell him to just leave or wait for Jimmy to arrive and do it for me. But his demeanor was such a large contrast to the boy I remembered, and it made me curious. He seemed sincere.

  “Where’s your phone?” he asked, his eyes bright.

  “My phone?”

  “Yeah, give it to me.”

  I instinctively pressed my purse against my chest. “Are you going to put your number in my cell or something?” I asked like an idiot. I wasn’t familiar with these types of games.

  “Yes.” He extended his hand, patiently waiting for me to hand him my phone.

  “Isn’t that kind of backward? Shouldn’t you be the one calling me?”

  “Well, yeah, that, too,” he admitted.

  He threw me a flirtatious smile, and even though I was normally shy, I couldn’t resist smiling back. It was flattering when a good-looking guy thought I was attractive.

  “But you hated me in elementary school.” I tilted my head, the memories coming back. “And if I remember correctly, I was on that list of girls who you consistently picked on.”

  His face turned a little red in the low lighting. “Don’t you know what they say about when a boy teases a girl a little too much?” He dropped his voice, so only I could hear. “It means he likes you.”

  I laughed lightly, feeling my cheeks warm.

  Despite the red face, he managed to keep his bravado. “Come on, I’m not the same boy you knew in high school. That boy grew up.” His gaze turned hopeful, his empty hand still waiting. He didn’t break eye contact, the smile heavy on his face. “Bliss, give a guy a break.”

  Before I could even think about what I was doing, I reached into my purse and handed him my phone.

  His smile widened as he typed his number into my cell. “More importantly, I’m calling my phone, so I have your number.” He lifted his phone to his ear. “When I ask an attractive girl on a date and she says no, I can be persistent.” He winked at that.

  I bit my fingernail. The rolling feeling of butterflies stirred in my belly—not the ones I normally felt when Jimmy was around, but more nervous. When he handed me my phone, I pushed it into my purse for safekeeping.

  I shook my head, amused at the interaction that had just taken place. “Wow, I can’t believe I just gave my number to the guy who teased me throughout school.”

  “Hey,” he protested though his smile didn’t falter, “I would’ve asked you in high school, but you were always around Jimmy.” He swept his hand across the bar. “But with him being in New York, Jimmy’s hardly around anymore, is he?”

  “Jimmy is right here.”

  I jumped at the familiar harsh voice behind me. As my head turned to see Jimmy tight eyes, my heart sprung into the middle of my throat. I blinked a couple of times, taking in his irate demeanor.

  Jimmy’s arms folded over his chest. His bulging forearms squished against his fitted gray shirt so tightly that it seemed as if his muscles wanted to break free. “Evan,” he ground out in some sort of greeting. He wore a smile, but there was a menacing edge to it.

  I knew all of Jimmy’s moods. Taking in his flinty cold eyes, I knew he wasn’t happy. He and Evan had had issues since we were kids, but we were adults now, so I thought maybe it was over.

  “Jim,” Evan muttered back, a tight smirk on his face.

  Maybe not.

  “Bliss, time to go.” Jimmy reached for my elbow and tugged me toward him.

  I jerked from his hold and threw him a look of annoyance.

  My eyes darted back and forth between them. I didn’t know if I was ready to leave yet, but I also wasn’t comfortable with standing between them in their still-hate-you presence.

  “Hey, it was great to see you again,” I told Evan weakly.

  When his eye
s met mine, they transformed, softening, and he leaned in for a hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow and set up that date,” he whispered in my ear.

  When he released me, a blush crept up my cheeks as I felt Jimmy’s gaze burning a hole in my back.

  “See you around, Brason.” Evan nodded toward Jimmy, and then he took his beer with him as he strolled away.

  Jimmy didn’t respond as he gripped my elbow and maneuvered me toward the exit. He held me a little too tight for comfort.

  “Jimmy,” I complained.

  His jaw clamped shut, and he didn’t respond as he led us out the door.

  Outside, the warm night air hit my skin. I’d had enough of his caveman act. When we were a few feet away from the club, I shrugged him off and swiveled on my heels, facing him. I put my hands on my hips in an authoritative stance.

  “Geez, Jimmy, what’s your problem?” I narrowed my eyes at him, not appreciating his abrasiveness.

  The muscle in his jaw worked as he glanced at the club behind us. “Evan’s my problem.”

  “Well, if Evan’s your problem, why are you taking it out on me?” I snapped, standing my ground.

  Jimmy’s pissy mood was not going to ruin my night.

  Once pissed off, this big soft teddy bear would turn into a nasty grizzly. It was one of the parts of him that I simultaneously loved and hated.

  Valet had parked Jimmy’s BMW in the front, so I decided to walk toward the car. I stood by the door and waited for Jimmy to retrieve his keys from the valet.

  He clicked his keys to unlock it, and then he opened my door for me, but I stood there, stubborn and unmoving.

  “Jimmy, your issues with Evan was like forever and a half ago. Let it go.”

  “I hate him,” Jimmy ground out. He looked at me like his problem with Evan was an easy one to understand, and if anyone should know this, it should be me. “His mom still talks shit about my family. Plus, he’s had it in for me since forever. I’m not a very forgiving person. You know this, Boo.”

  “Fine.” I sighed, dropping my hands and stepping into the car. “I get it, but quit yelling at me like it’s my fault.”

  He didn’t say a word as he shut my door and rounded the car. He got in and backed out of the parking lot. He glanced my way and exhaled a heavy breath of frustration. “Sorry. I’m not mad at you.” He sped out of the parking lot and turned onto the busy road. “What were you two talking about anyway?”

  I fastened the seat belt around my waist and averted my eyes. “Nothing.” I focused on the passing cars as we hit the busy street and rolled through a green light.

  “You were gone for a while. What did he say?”

  I knew Jimmy wouldn’t give up, but I didn’t want to piss him off any further, and if I lied, he’d know. “Uh…he asked me on a date.”

  The car halted to a stop in the middle of the intersection, causing me to buck forward. I used my palms to brace myself against the dashboard as cars honked around us.

  “Geez, Jimmy, get a grip!” I scanned the pissed off drivers passing us by, some flipping us off.

  “Oh, hell no.” He pulled over to the shoulder and put on his hazard lights. “And you told him no, right?” he asked, flipping his whole body toward me. “Right?” His voice got louder. “You told him no?” he pressed again, his voice firm with conviction.

  I sat straight up in my seat. “I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

  “Yet? What does that mean, yet?”

  I met his hard stare, and he slammed both hands against the steering wheel.

  “You are not going on a date with that fucker—ever. Over my dead body, Bliss. Fuck no!”

  “Excuse me?” I lifted my chin in defiance. Since when did he have the right to tell me whom I could or couldn’t date? I certainly had no say in whom he could go out with. “Okay,” I started, my voice calm but stern, “I think I missed something here. I thought we didn’t talk about our dating lives.”

  It wasn’t like there was anything to talk about on my part, but Jimmy was just pissing me off, and I wanted to piss him off right back.

  He grabbed the top of his head, fisting the ends of his hair. “You know what I mean, Boo.” He sounded annoyed, which fueled the fire within me.

  I took a moment and exhaled a heavy breath, keeping my cool. “We can never talk about your dating life. You’ve made that the golden rule since high school, and maybe you thought you had some say when we were younger, but not now. Sorry, Jimmy, but no. I choose who I date. The end.”

  My mind flashed to Ms. Redhead and Jimmy together, and my blood turned cold. “And if I want to go on a date with Evan, I will.” I knew I was getting under Jimmy’s skin, but I didn’t care. I needed to put my foot down. Maybe this was a sign telling me to move on.

  I wanted Jimmy more than I could comprehend, but he would never look at me in a way that was beyond our friendship. He never saw himself in a committed relationship with anyone, so I could never cross that invisible line. I never had a say in his dating life. Therefore, he couldn’t dictate what I could do with mine.

  His eyes narrowed, and I could tell it was taking all his power and self-control to stay cool and collected. The veins in his hands were bulging as he gripped the steering wheel as if he wanted to rip it off.

  I wondered who was going to break eye contact first. Our stare-down seemed to last forever. I didn’t think anyone would concede. I knew one thing though. It wasn’t going to be me.

  He startled me by pounding his fist against the steering wheel, making me jump. “You’re not dating him!”

  I shot daggers at him for his over-the-top behavior. “You can’t tell me what I can do with my dating life!” I yelled back.

  He let out a frustrated loud growl, ripped his door open, and stepped out into the night. He slammed the door behind him and then stalked to the front of the car, pacing back and forth. The glow of the headlights illuminated only the middle of his body, but in the moonlight, I watched him grip the top of his hair with both hands like he wanted to tear it off by the roots. His chest heaved with huge deep breaths, and he lifted his head to the sky. Maybe he was hoping for some divine intervention that would help him calm down. He was out there for several minutes, muttering to himself while kicking the gravel beneath his feet.

  When he slid back into the car, he slowly turned to face me. “I don’t want you to date Evan.” His words came out in broken soft puffs as if he’d just run a race. “Please,” he uttered after I gave him no reaction.

  I knew he was trying to keep his temper under wraps as he took short shallow breaths to control his breathing.

  “Why are you pissing me off, Boo?”

  I reeled back at his tone. He’d spoken to me as though I had forced Evan to ask me out just to piss Jimmy off on purpose.

  “What’s so wrong with him?” I stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his answer. And it had better be good.

  If Jimmy could throw it, I could chuck it right back with even more attitude.

  He widened his eyes as if I’d asked a stupid question. “Evan is looking for only one thing.”

  I rolled my eyes. Was he serious? How naive did he think I was? “Oh, the one-thing speech? Really, Jimmy? Thanks for your lack of confidence,” I retorted. “You think I’ll just throw my panties at him after one date?”

  He shook his head as he took my stiff hand in his, but I yanked it back.

  He flinched at my rejection. “It’s not you, Boo. It’s him. He’s dirty.” His tone softened. He was pleading for once, wanting me to understand why he was so against this.

  “What? And you’re not?” Hurt filtered through my eyes, but I couldn’t contain it. I continued my rant in a heavily sarcastic tone, “I heard Miss December in the restroom. You seem to have picked up some playboy reputation. I wonder why that is. Oh, never mind. I forgot. We’re not supposed to talk about this stuff!”

  How had this night gone downhill so fast?

  He regarded me for a second, his shoulde
rs finally sagging. Then, he rested his head against the steering wheel, tightly closing his eyes, as he tried to keep it together. “This is not about me,” he said, tapping his head against the wheel. “This is about you. If he touches you, I swear, I’ll go to jail.” Under his breath, he added, “I knew I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

  “Why not? Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you never want pictures taken with me anymore?” My voice cracked with emotion, and I bit my cheek to stop the hurt from turning into tears.

  He lifted his head and let out a humorless laugh. “What are you talking about? I hate these things. I only do them because they come with the territory. This is part of my career. It’s the excess,” he said slowly, making sure I took his words in. “Mom was around it, and Dad lives in it. If I wanna keep you safe and far away from it, then kill me,” he growled, leaning his head back against the seat. “If I could just do what I love and play football, I would, but it doesn’t work that way, Boo.”

  I swallowed hard as we sat there in a moment of thick silence.

  He stared out the windshield for a beat before he turned to me and reached a hand out, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “I’m not embarrassed of you,” he said tenderly. “You’re my rock, dude. In my head and in my heart, I put you up on a pedestal, if you haven’t already noticed. And I don’t want…I don’t want you turning into what some of those girls are. I want you to stay you—wholesome and sweet.”

  I shivered at his touch. I wanted to respond to that sentimental speech, but my throat was clogged up with so many emotions.

  With a sadness in his eyes that I didn’t understand, he continued, “You’re going to meet a great guy someday, and I’m going to be here to make sure that happens, but that guy sure as hell is not going to be Evan.” His eyes sternly locked on mine as his hand dropped to interlock our fingers. “He’s not good enough for you. I only want the best for you—always and forever. Cool?” He jiggled my hand, trying to be playful now, as he waited for my answer.

  “Okay,” I replied, feeling a heaviness in my heart. When would he realize that he was the best thing for me, that great guy, my perfect fit?

  Present Day