Feel Me: An O'Brien Family Novel (The O'Brien Family)

by Cecy Robson

  I can’t deal with this. Some things are just too evil to be real.

  If it were up to me I’d drag the defendant out of jail and set him on fire in a public square. Problem is I can’t do that. I represent the law. But it’s the side of me that serves the public sector that wants to send this piece of shit straight to hell.

  Babies, that’s all some of them were. Innocent little kids taken by the wrong man. Just like my brother.

  Three Assistant D.A.s sit in front of me, including Tess. Curran stands behind her, and Detective Melo, the lead investigator waits to her right. But my stare falls on Melissa who’s sitting off to the side, beneath the framed picture Rosana drew of me. Her arms are crossed and her fair skin a horrible shade of white. Like the rest of us, she’s sick down to her gut.

  Every gaze is anywhere but on the pictures covering my desk. It doesn’t matter, they’re ingrained in our minds and will likely haunt us for the rest of our damn lives.

  “Tess, I want you to take this,” I finally say.

  Curran straightens, his balling fists ready to take a swing. The other two D.A.s, both new, sigh with relief and quickly pile out.

  “No way,” Curran mutters as the door shut behinds them.

  Melo’s eyes cut to me. “Will you excuse us?” I ask him.

  He’s barely to the door when Curran looms over the desk, ramming his face in mine. “You’re not fucking giving her this case,” he barks.

  I shove away from my chair, the force slamming it into the shelf behind me and sending the contents crashing to the floor. “Do not question my authority,” I bite out, our faces inches apart.

  “She’s eight months pregnant!” Curran fires back.

  “And she’s the best attorney I have for this case!” I straighten, motioning around. “Do you think any of us want to deal with this shit? No. But someone has to and Tess is the only one I have who’s qualified.”

  The lines etched around his jaw deepen. If I was anyone else, in any another position, he’d have me by the throat. But just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean he gets his way. Not with all these kids on the line.

  “Curran, it’s okay,” Tess tells him. I didn’t realize she was holding onto his arm, my focus so fixed on him I never saw her approach. But I see her now, just as I feel Melissa beside me.

  I steal a glance. Her expression is riddled with worry. I don’t know what I look like. All I know is the anger burning through me.

  “It’s a conflict of interest,” he says. “I’m one of the cops who responded.”

  “You weren’t the arresting officer,” I begin.

  “No,” he agrees. “That was Sanders, who blew his fucking head off after gathering all this evidence.” He shakes his head. “Twenty years on the job, he saw a lot of shit, but this was the call that pushed him to the breaking point. You think I want my wife a part of this?”

  “You don’t get a choice,” I say. “That falls on me. And I’m choosing Tess because she’s the best I have.”

  My tone is absolute. Curran knows I’m not budging and he’s more pissed at me than I’ve ever seen him.

  “Curran,” Tess says, her voice soft. “Someone has to do this. Next to Declan, I have the most experience.”

  Her hand slips away to gather the stacks of photos. I don’t miss how she keeps her eyes off the images. Curran’s still fit to be tied, but as furious as he is with me, he’s not blind to Tess. With a curse he begins to gather the pics that flew off the desk when he thundered toward me.

  I lower my lids and release a heavy breath as I feel Mel’s fingertips glide down my back. This is the first time she’s touched me since the night she left my apartment. God damn I miss her. She’s been at work every day, keeping a professional distance, all the while doing her job. She’s not cold. She still smiles although those smiles are forced. But it’s the sadness that dulls her large brown eyes, I can’t get past. Probably because I’m going through it too, without her.

  She stacks the last of the pictures and adds them to the ones Curran and Tess are shoving into the envelope. “Mel, when are you meeting with the victims’ parents?”

  She didn’t tell me she was. I just know she will. These kids aren’t the only ones hurting. “Wednesday night,” she replies. “I set up a group counseling session with one of our top therapists.”

  “Will they all be there?” I ask.

  “At least one parent or legal guardian will be there from each family,” she answers. “I called them individually to assure their presence.”

  Those calls alone must have taken hours. Between work and looking after Miles . . . I have no idea how she does it. “What do you think about me and Tess being there?”

  She pauses, knowing where I’m headed. “It’s their first time meeting. I planned to attend to introduce myself as their liaison to this office. It might be too much to have the three of us there.”

  “What about Tess?”

  Melissa nods slowly. Yeah. She knows where I’m headed. “I think they would appreciate her presence,” she agrees.

  I glance to my sister-in law who like Curran pointed out is very pregnant. “Tess,” I tell her. “If they can relate to you as a parent, it can help us plead this case out.” My focus cuts to the envelope. “No way am I putting seventeen children on the stand.”

  “All right,” she says nodding. She rubs Curran’s arm when he frowns. “We don’t need seventeen counts of Indecent Assault to put this monster away for life,” she explains. “Not with the multiple offenses he’s charged with and the amount of evidence we have. If I can convince the families to plead this out to fewer counts, there won’t be a trial and I can take him out of society.”

  He strokes a strand of her hair that escaped her bun. “And if you can’t?”

  “I’ll make sure he never hurts a child again,” she promises.

  His stare softens as he continues to take her in, not that he’s any less pissed at me.

  He’ll get over it. I meant what I said. Tess is the one for the job.

  “We’ll see you later,” Tess says to me. She gathers the file in front of her and Curran grabs the rest. They walk out with Curran’s arm resting against the small of her back, exactly how I used to hold Melissa.

  “Mel, wait,” I say when she tries to follow them out.

  For a moment, she stares at the closed door. I don’t think she’ll turn around, but then she does. “Tess will do right by those children.”

  It’s not what I’m asking, but I think my face gives enough away.

  I pull my chair back and take a seat. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” she replies.

  God I hate this small-talk bullshit. It’s all we’ve had lately. When neither of us says anything more, I’m sure she’ll walk out.

  She surprises me by taking a seat in front of me. “Is there a case you need to discuss? Some business you want me to handle?”

  In other words, don’t make this about us. It’s hard not to. “How’s your dad?”

  “Okay. A little better now that he’s off chemo.”

  “When does he start the next round?”

  She sighs like she doesn’t want to think about it. “Next month. He, um, told me you stopped by on Christmas, on your way to see your family. Thank you for visiting. It means a lot to him.”

  “It’s my pleasure. He’s a good man.”

  “Yes, he is,” she answers quietly.

  I reach into my desk. “I have something for you,” I say.

  Her eyes round when I place a velvet jewelry box on my desk and slide it closer to her.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” she says.

  “Yes, I did. You work your ass off, you keep late hours, and you never say no to anyone.”

  Her attention stays on the box. “Most people who work here do the same.”

  “They don’t mean what you mean to me,” I tell her, my voice gruff.

  Her lids squeeze shut. She’s hurt, but she’s not the only one in p
ain. “Declan,” she says, her voice splintering.

  “Just open it,” I tell her.

  She hesitates briefly, moving slowly, her fingers spreading wide to lift the lid. A soft smile forms across her lips as she removes the long silver necklace, the locket at the end swinging like a pendulum beneath her hands.

  “It’s beautiful,” she says. She tilts her head when she realizes what it is, her fingers trembling as she pries it open.

  Her breath catches, her voice quivering as she takes in the picture of her and her father. “Are you trying to make me cry?”

  “Your dad said it was your first ballet recital. You were almost eight, but you refused to have your picture taken without him.”

  In the photo, she’s sitting on his lap, holding a little wand as she leans against him. I think she was supposed to be a fairy princess or something, but that’s not what she remembers.

  “I was terrible,” she says. “I couldn’t hear the music and struggled to keep up.”

  Shit. This was supposed to make her happy, not tear her up. “Your Dad told me you were the best one.”

  She laughs, her eyes brimming with tears. “Is this why you stopped by on Christmas?”

  “It was one of the reasons,” I admit.

  She tilts her head.

  “I missed you,” I confess. “And wanted to see you.”

  She’d taken almost two weeks’ vacation during the holidays to spend time with her father. She was out for a run when I stopped by. I couldn’t stand to not see her on Christmas, but she was gone for a long time and my family was expecting me. With Miles as sick as he seemed, I think she needed an avenue to work out her stress. I don’t tell her I drove around trying to find her. But that’s exactly what I did.

  “I have to go,” she says. She places the necklace over her head, pausing to clutch the locket against her chest, her eyes shimmering. “Thank you for the beautiful gift, and for the memory.”

  I push away from the desk when she rises and lifts the box away. She wanted space, and I gave it to her. But enough is enough. I whip her around before she reaches the door, kissing her deep.

  Her body melts against mine, her mouth hot as my tongue slides in.

  I used to rip into Curran for his lack of professional behavior around Tess, not understanding how the hell he couldn’t control himself. But as my hands graze down Melissa’s back to grip her ass, I get it. Damn it, I’ve been lost without her.

  She doesn’t fight me, her fingers gliding through my hair as our kiss turns frantic and my fingers knead her curves.

  I’m briefly aware of the jewelry case falling on the floor, and of the knock at the door. But I can’t stop and neither can she.

  It’s only when the door swings open that we break away.

  My hands slide to her waist, but I refuse to let her go.

  “Oh,” Stephanie says. “Am I interrupting?”

  She knows she is, and she’s pissed about it. I’ve turned her down the last few times she’s offered to come to my apartment and “help me with my cases” and warned her she needs to spend more time at her desk.

  “What do you need, Stephanie?” I ask, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

  She shoots Melissa one hell of a glare. “Detective Melo was looking for you.”

  “Detective Melo was just here,” I grind out. “He knows where I am, and how to reach me. Don’t ever barge in here again, and watch your attitude around Melissa.”

  “My apologies,” she says with a fixed smile she doesn’t mean. “Sorry for interrupting,”

  Mel turns away as Stephanie walks out in a huff. Although I can’t see her face, I know she’s smiling. “I should go,” she says.

  “No,” I tell her. “You should be with me.”

  I kiss her neck, making her shudder. “The governor is endorsing me for D.A. at the ball on Saturday,” I whisper between flicks of my tongue. “I know you’re going. I want you with me.”

  “As friends?” she stammers. She ignores what I’m doing, even though it’s taking everything I have not to pull up her dress.

  My hands wandering back to her ass. “No.”

  “People will think there’s something between us,” she says.

  She gasps as I nibble the base of her throat. “Are you kidding?” I mutter. “They’ll know the moment Stephanie opens her trap.”

  She laughs, angling around to kiss me like we haven’t been apart. Shit. It’s taking all I have not to slip my hand between her legs.

  Our kiss grows more heated, leaving us panting as she pulls away. “I’ll go with you,” she says. “But I’m not making any promises.”

  “I’m not expecting anything,” I tell her, lying to her face.

  The limo hugs the curb. I adjust the tie to my black tux as the driver lowers the window separating the cabin from the front. “Would you like me to escort the young lady to the vehicle?” he asks.

  “No. I’ll do it,” I inform him.

  He nods. “The hotel is forty minutes from here, possibly longer due to traffic downtown. Any specific instructions, sir?” he asks.

  “Privacy, at all costs,” I tell him.

  “Very well, sir.”

  He’s one of those drivers who’s escorted a lot of higher ups. He knows what I’m asking and is smart enough to keep quiet about what goes on in the rear of the limo.

  He shuts the window closed and lowers the privacy screen. The lock clicks into place. Now, only I can unlock it. Not that I plan to. I finish adjusting my tie and pop the mirror closed.

  I’m early, but that’s how I planned it. I reach for my coat when Melissa sweeps down the concrete steps, her champagne cape fluttering open to reveal her strapless black ball gown that hugs her curves as if painted on. A row of long pearls dangle between her breasts.

  I freeze in place, her dress is reminiscent of the one she wore in that dream I had too many times about her, the one where she hovered over my ottoman on all fours. It’s not exact, but it’s close enough to make me hard.

  The driver hurries to get the door. “Thank you,” she says as she steps in.

  She pauses when she sees me, her eyes flying open. She likes what she sees. Well, that makes two of us. “Um, hi,” she says, edging in. “You look . . . nice.”

  I reach for her hand to help her inside and to assure she sits beside me. The driver slams the door shut as my gaze locks on hers. “And you look stunning,” I tell her.

  I lift her gloved hand and kiss it. She’s close enough that the skirt of her gown fans over my knee. I can feel her body heat just as she feels mine.

  Her hair is pulled up, a pile of curls spilling from the top and delicately brushing her large pearl and diamond stud earrings. Her hair must have taken hours to style, but it’s her face I can’t stop looking at. Her lips are glossed a deep red and black eye shadow illuminates her large eyes. She knew I was coming for her and went all out. I just don’t understand why she seems to hesitate to draw too near.

  Maybe there’s someone else in her life. After all, it’s been over a month since she walked out on me. I doubt it, though. Not because she isn’t irresistible, hell, Melissa is sex in high heels, but because she works too damn hard.

  Either way, no man is going to come between me and her. Am I being irrational and possessive? Damn right I am. I was the dumb prick who watched her walk away. But now that I have her all to myself, I’m ready to prove how much I need her.

  My mouth finds her neck, just like it did the other day at the office, nibbling sucking. “I was fucking stupid to let you go,” I murmur against her skin.

  “Declan . . .” she gasps, her body shaking against my chest as I press our bodies closer.

  I backed off since that time in my office, mostly to keep her from cancelling our date. But each hour, each damn minute that I didn’t hold her was too long.

  It’s not about sex, not anymore, not after everything that’s happened between us. It’s about me feeling close to her, and proving how much I’ve missed us.


  My hand kneads her breast. “We have forty minutes,” I whisper against her lips. “Longer with traffic.” She jolts when I pinch her nipple. “And even longer after that if I ask the driver to circle the block.” I yank her small purse out of her hand and toss it across the floor, then carefully remove her hearing aids and place them in the pocket of the arm rest.

  “You said you weren’t expecting anything,” she moans as I return to play.

  “I lied,” I tell her, snatching her hand and cupping it over my thick erection.

  “Jesus,” she rasps, her eyes lustful as she begins to rub.

  My tux cost a small fortune, and her dress probably did, too. But we peel off our expensive attire like rags until I’m naked except for my opened white shirt and she’s down to her garter belt and heels. I stretch out along the wide seat, placing her knees on either side of my head, moaning as her head bops up and down on my lap. Her sucks are hard, driving me crazy. Yet as much as my head is swimming with desire, I clutch her hips and pull her down, suckling her sweet skin.

  She’s whimpering as she goes deeper, the orgasm that follows making her thighs bat against my temples. I’m ready to come when the driver slams on the brakes. We fall forward and onto the floor, the loud honks of horns signaling some asshole cut him off. But it’s as if nothing happened. Melissa and I don’t stop. I flip her on all fours, pushing into her slowly as her body clenches around my length.

  She covers her mouth, trying to muffle her screams as I thrust, my speed increasing with each lurch of my hips. My jaw clamps down. I’m trying to be quiet, too, but the way she’s circling her ass and bearing down makes it impossible. We fall forward again as we finish, her dress in a pile on the floor and my tux―oh, who gives a shit where it is.

  I push up on my arms and pull out, pressing her back against my chest as I fall onto my knees. She swivels around, wrenching her neck to stamp her mouth over mine.

  Her kiss is long and sweet and she keeps her smile as she pulls away. “Hi,” she says.

  She expects me to tell her “hi” back, or say something cute. Instead I clasp her face gently, holding her focus so she can read my lips.