Wandering
Page 5
Singing in Limbo
It seemed as though she was the only person on the planet. She was calmly sitting on that rock in the middle of the ocean, singing. What affects her song had on the world was not her concern. The girl sang not for the world, but because if she stopped singing it would hurt her heart. Her song expressed things that could not otherwise be said. Loneliness, betrayal, and love were just few of the many things that had put her on that rock. Her story is hard to tell, for few must suffer as she has. At the end of your life, she will sing for you, as she does for everyone, and may you be better for it.
There was once a young girl who loved a man. Her love was so deep that she would do anything for him. When the day finally came that she confessed her love to him, he laughed and the girl knew pain. In that pain, she began to sleep, waking for only hours at a time during which she refused food and water. As she wasted away, her family feared for her and when they could bear it no longer, they sent for a doctor. He said that she was heart-sick and had to be sent far from the man. Despite her tired objections, her family packed her bags and sent her with the doctor to live with his sister by the ocean. There she was forced to eat, drink, and sit outdoors by the water. Over time, she slept a little less, walked a little more, and after a few years, she could smile. Not often, mind you, but every once and a while, she could be caught with a tentative smile playing about her lips. This allusive smile was, more often than not, provoked by the antics of a young man who was a friend and neighbor to the doctor’s sister. He came over often to help around the house and to visit with the fragile young woman. In his company, she began to get close to well, often going out for walks along the ocean, singing, listening to the waves crash against the shore. There was a time when the man came to the house to visit and was told she was out walking. Curious, he went to seek her out. When he caught sight of her on that beach, singing, her hair blowing softly in the wind, it was then that he knew his love for her. In that same moment, something called to him, forbidding him to speak of it. Confusion filled him but he went on as he always had, visiting, helping at the house, talking as though nothing had changed. She knew nothing of it except for when she looked deep into his eyes and saw his raging feeling. Of course, she refused to speak of it, afraid to earn his dislike or make him in any way uncomfortable. Over time, they grew quite close. Years passed and things never changed. His family began to pressure him to wed and still he never spoke of his love for her. It pained her to look into his eyes because they burned with a passionate love that she felt she had not earned. Then, one day, she told him in passing that his family was right about his needing to be wed. Upon hearing this, he gazed deeply into her eyes, to search for a hope, a glimmer, but no, her eyes could not express love. The pain covered the love. So, he wed. And from that day on, she knew great pain, a pain deeper than she knew possible. She knew that she loved him and to see him with his new young wife caused the pain to run deeper into herself. When she spoke to him, she smiled and said all the right things and yet, she cried inside. He couldn’t see the love in her eyes. And so, life went on in this way. But, unlike the last time she felt the pain, she did not shut down, she refused to let the heart-sickness take her over. Or at least, she refused to let others see it. She would take her walks and talk to her friends, her life was not empty. It was her heart that was empty. When she would sing on the beach, as she had many times, her song just sounded a little sadder. As they have a way of doing, years passed. The young woman aged slowly but she became weaker. She was less prone to take her walks or seek out her friends. Conversations with her were rare. There were days when she wouldn’t get out of bed, and then days where she couldn’t. Then there was the day when she didn’t wake up. No one knew why or how.
In the end, she couldn’t go to heaven because her song was too sad for the souls there so she went to limbo. And still she is there, singing the song of love and heartbreak. She will sing your burdens from you, take them upon herself, and in that way, your eternity can be a bit lighter.