Only Good With You

by Zoey Kinsman

  “Yep, it’s what I do best, think and analyze. That’s why I think we should make a deal just in case.”

  “I don’t know. That’s kind of predetermining it.”

  “Well, I just meant to say that we could always promise each other to be friends no matter what. So, then there would be no loss involved for either one of us. Loss is your biggest issue. By making that promise, we solve the issue.”

  “Do you honestly think I can be friends with you, when all I’ve ever wanted was to love you and fuck you and have you with me every day? After all that, can we ever be just friends?”

  “Yes, because friendship is not a bad thing. It’s an appreciation for each other always, wherever we may be in our lives.”

  “No, I couldn’t handle you sleeping with and dating other men.”

  “Listen Paul, we have to be mature about this.”

  “What the fuck did you just say? Are you playing mommy or insinuating that I’m immature and don’t get what’s happening here, and that one day I’ll just piss off like some kind of fucking asshole?”

  He sat up in the bed now, looking all angry and pissed off. But I wasn’t backing down, because I honestly hadn’t known him long enough or had enough history with him to know if he would indeed fuck off one day.

  “Calm yourself down. I told you from the start that I don’t want to be your mommy, and you sure as hell haven’t treated me as one. But there are realities here. You’re younger than me; you’ll grow tired of this and want a young hot wife and children. Your agent will tell you to do that and to dump me. You’ll want it for your image, and you’ll want it for yourself. I know what I’m talking about. Let’s just enjoy whatever time the universe gives us, okay?”

  “No, you’re wrong. Where do you get off telling me what I want or will want? Maybe ask me one day how I envision my life instead of foreseeing it on your own. Did it ever occur to you that some people, and especially women, will see it as wonderful that age is not an issue? They’ll encourage us and support us. And besides, fuck my agent. I’m my own man and will do what I want and live how I want. No one, not even you, will tell me how to live.”

  “Well excuse me! I would never tell you how to live, but maybe I would have a voice in your life and my opinion might matter.”

  There was a long, long pause.

  “Of course, I would always want your input and feedback, and of course it matters, but no one will tell me that I can’t be with you, not even you. If you cast me away, I will sit on your doorstep and wait, and if you cast me away again like garbage, then again I will sit on your doorstep and wait.”

  Reaching over and touching his thighs with my hands, the truth came too easily once more. “I will never cast you away. Never, do you hear me? But you will grow and change away from me, and I need to be ready.”

  “You’re wrong. And you are so unbelievably stubborn. Anne, look, I know myself well. Unlike other men, I know what I want and what I like. I’ve done all my experimenting.” He laughed at himself, and then went on, “I know I want you, now and always.”

  “It’s too early, too soon to know that.” Although deep within me I knew the same fact to be true. He called me out on it.

  “C’mon Anne, you know what we have is special and it’s real. Just admit it.”

  “It really feels that way, but boy, it’s just so fast. I’m afraid it might burn out. Just please, promise me that we will always be friends. Promise me that one thing if you care like you say you do.”

  “I promise we will always be friends, and more.”

  “No, a deal is a deal. Say the words I need to hear.”

  He turned his head and looked at me. “I love you and promise you we will always be friends.”

  I bent over and kissed him on those full luscious lips that had just tasted my pussy. My own taste didn’t bother me, and it was rather exciting on his lips.

  “See, you taste so fine, woman. I want to do you again.”

  “There will be no more doing tonight. You’ve totally pooped me out.”

  He could tell I was done. “Come, let’s cuddle and I’ll tell you about the event tomorrow night.”

  “Oh, my God, we forgot to talk about that. Can we talk over breakfast?”

  “Yeah, that’s a good idea, because you’ve exhausted me, too, and my brain is fried as well. How about we do a quick shower and then the cuddle?”

  “Sounds good.” I ran into the bathroom, turned on the shower, waited till the water warmed up, and ran in. He followed me. We took turns washing and were ever so careful not to bump into each other for fear of waking up the beast again.

  When he turned off the water, he kissed me, and I felt my flesh rise from his touch. He could see my reaction to him and pulled me in for a long, luxurious kiss in his arms. Those kisses always made me swoon.

  “Thank you, Paul. I’m so happy.”

  He did that wonderful kiss thing again and I could feel the beast stirring. I jumped out briskly and went to towel off.

  ‘Anyone ever tell you that you’re a tease?”

  “Yes, you always tell me.” It was my turn to laugh.

  After drying off, I slipped into a cotton pj set with a top that was tight around the breasts and short-shorts that were skimpy. Use it till I really loose it! He did a tee with a pair of loungers. He had brought some clothes over. That was interesting. He obviously had it all planned out. Or was he just a secret organized freak like me? Nah, he’d planned it, because I happened to also see his toothbrush next to mine in the holder in the bathroom. This evening was totally planned out. But I was too tired to mention it, and secretly liked that he took the initiative.

  We both crawled into bed together and plopped down. It was only nine-thirty in the evening by now, but I was just wiped. It was hard to keep up with him. That was my reality. I could tell he still had more in his tank. It was one of the points I was trying to emphasize.

  “Hey, you seem wiped. I know I have that effect on the ladies.”

  “Go ahead and flatter yourself, because it’s all true.” He patted my bum in appreciation.

  “Would you be okay if I did some emails in the front room and watched a little TV before retiring for the night, or would you like me stay here with you? I’m good either way.”

  “No, you go do your thing and come sleep when you’re ready.”

  “See, you get me.”

  I did actually get him.

  He leaned over to kiss me, and our lips locked for the longest time, our tongues barely touching.

  “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’m always near you, my beauty.”

  Then I rolled over and didn’t even hear him leave the room as I feel into a deep, deep sleep.

  Sometime in the night, I felt him crawl up next to me and surround me with that body and those arms. There was a scent of freshly brewed coffee coming off him now. Sleeping on my side, as he came close I threw one leg over him and one arm around him. Pulled in next to him, my head rested perfectly on his shoulder.

  When I woke the next morning we were still stuck in that one position that secured us tightly each to the other. First thing in the morning, his smell was still divine and inviting.

  “Mmm…yummy.”

  He opened one eye and watched me watching him.

  “Do I really have to get up now?”

  “No, but I do. You sleep.”

  “But we have things to talk about.”

  “Come get me for lunch and we can talk. You know I told Trish I’m helping you write your memoir, so it’ll be about that.”

  “You told her what?” His head perked up.

  “I told her you were writing your memoir and I agreed to help you that night over sushi.”

  “That’s an interesting tale. So, you’re my agent/editor?”

  “Yes, exactly. Good cover story, no?”

  “No, because it’s not the truth.”

  “Paul, I have to get up and go, but we can talk about it more over lunch. Look a
t it this way…if things don’t work out, it’ll always have been just business. My savvy saves your career in the process.”

  “Stop this crappy nonsense. You are my girlfriend, and that’s the way it’s going down.”

  I made a quick bee-line for the bathroom and just said a cute, “Laterz, babe,” hoping that would settle it.

  “No, Anne, this isn’t done yet. I’ll be by at twelve thirty to pick you up, and I’m coming in to get you. Be ready.” Then he rolled the other way in the bed and made like he was going back to sleep. Perhaps this was a bit of reprieve from having to fight his unrealistic battles with me.

  Deciding that I was too beat to go to the gym this morning, I took a bit more time to get into work. After getting washed and dressed, I came back out to kiss him goodbye. He was laying on his back now, looking up at my best friend the ceiling, deep in thought. Grumpy Cat wondered what had him thinking so much.

  “Are you all right? You seem so lost in thought. I can stay a little if you like.”

  “No, I’m great just looking at you now, all fancied up in your professional gear.”

  That made me smile.

  “I like you all wild and free, and I like you all dressed up, looking wound up tight like a top, with your hips swaying and your business attitude on. I want to do you so bad when you look like that, tame you and make you mine.”

  “I am yours.” My stare was fixed on those deep blue penetrating eyes as I spoke the words to him.

  He looked so inviting just lying there, his hands behind his head, with his big hard cock standing up just for me, or so it seemed. I purposely exaggerated my walk as I moved closer to him to say goodbye. But instead of leaving, I found myself crawling up, in my pencil skirt, onto the bed and between his legs. I threw my hair back and my lips put a firm hold on that cock that called to me. His musky morning cock smell was so intoxicating. I sucked him harder and buzzed the heck out of him till his groans were screams and his fists hit the bed. Then he reached for my legs, pushing my skirt up, and his fingers found their way into my moist pussy. I stopped and looked at him.

  “No, this is for you. I want to please you so much. Please let me.” And my mouth went back onto him with total reassurance that I could make him crazy.

  But he would not stop touching me. With one hand between my legs and the other in my hair, he came furiously. His whole body rocked the bed. I had loved him well.

  “Let me finish you, babe,” he said through gasps, trying to catch his breath.

  I got up to pull myself together, to pull my panties back into place, and my skirt down where it belonged.

  “Maybe later you can finish me off…if you want?” I was playful with him, and he liked that.

  “I’d like that.” His breathing was returning to normal, so I leaned in for a quick kiss, but he held onto me tightly. I held him back.

  We exchanged a knowing look and then I was out the door, in my car, and making my way to work. There was a certain satisfaction I felt knowing that I could please him. It was part of the happiness that he brought, part of the entire package.

  * * * *

  Trish was waiting for me with coffee and a pastry. She was looking for ways to show her appreciation regarding the move upward on the ladder.

  “Thanks, Trish. I’ll take the coffee, but not the pastry. It’s hard enough to lose an ounce at this age, let alone a full pound that pastry will put on.”

  After passing the coffee, she followed me into my office with today’s news and questions.

  “Anne, have you heard from Paul Wickham? He’s gone off the radar. No one knows where he is, and there have been no sightings to report. He’s usually all over social media, and for the last week, nothing!”

  “That’s interesting. Where do people think he’s gone? Maybe he’s just on vacation.” Or, maybe I should have told her that he’d been between my legs this past week, no worries.

  “Nope, usually we can track his whereabouts. It’s as if he purposely went silent.”

  “Well, not to worry, I did get an email from him, and he’s coming to pick me up for lunch today. He wants to start an outline for his book. He’ll be here around twelve-thirty. So, we have to get working now so I can take a break and have lunch with your heartthrob.” Boy, I was getting good at this cover-up stuff.

  “What? He’s coming here…holy crap, I look awful today…I need to go put some make-up on.” She ran out to do herself up, futilely hoping he would take notice of her. It felt bad suddenly, keeping it all from her. It wasn’t right to get her hopes up in vain. And, being the true bitch that I could be, I wasn’t giving him up to anyone until he was ready to leave on his own. Yes, I could be a big bitch, but never to a loved one, and not to Trish. This was foreign to me. I hated hurting her. Maybe at some point soon, I would come clean with her. Yes, when I knew myself for sure what was happening, I would tell her. There, it was decided, guilt gone.

  She came back in and asked how she looked after her touch ups. I complimented her. She did look much better, and I had always thought Trish to be a pretty woman in her own right. As a fellow female, it was my job to help, not hinder her. If she could get to Paul, more power to her. If any other woman could get to him, then what we had was just a passing fancy, lacking substance. But I didn’t want to let Grumpy Cat have her way, so I stuffed her back down on the shelf and told her to stay put while I brought out my own big dose of optimism.

  “So Trish, tell me what’s happening today.” That was my cue to move on from the topic of Paul Wickham.

  She told me that several friends and family members had called looking for me and were concerned that they hadn’t heard from me over the weekend. She handed me the messages, which I knew I would see anyway over text and email messaging. And she reminded me that we had to make a decision on whether to make an offer to represent one particular author.

  “She has many people who are interested and have made offers, but she wants to work with you. Do you want me to draw up the contract?”

  Having read her work, I knew this particular one would be good to have in the house. She was going places. But, I didn’t like that she had other suitors and was making it known. She would be a pain in the butt in the end, having the knowledge she could always go elsewhere.

  “No, I think we are going to pass. Do you know why?”

  “Yes, you taught me well. If we take her she could end up being more trouble than she’s worth because she’ll always be looking over her shoulder wondering if the deal could have been better. Am I right?”

  “You got it, right on.” I gave her huge thumbs up on that.

  “But Anne, if she does hit it like we all think, the money would be very good, and maybe we could learn to put up with any trouble she might cause.”

  “You could be right. But what if she ends up costing us too much money because she wants out early, and we would have made a huge investment in her. How do we recoup that money? If we sue, the only ones making money are the lawyers. Do we need the headache? Is the risk worth it?”

  “You’re right again, but I am just saying let’s feel her out more. Let’s see if we can figure out her intentions, her level of sincerity, or what kind of person she really is. I say let’s bring her in for a meeting or lunch before we decide for sure.”

  Wow, she had me stumped there. It made total business sense. Maybe I was too tainted and too quick to judge. I liked the way Trish was thinking. Worst case scenario, it only cost me a meal.

  “I like your thinking on this one, Trish. See what you can set up. Maybe Skype or a meal might work if she’s close. See what you can do to get more contact and more info. Good pick up.”

  She could tell I was very pleased, and in return it pleased her.

  “Now, I better catch up.”

  “I’ll keep you posted.”

  She left and closed the door behind her.

  I went for my phone. He’d left a text message. I’m only good with you.

  Crap, that was the most beaut
iful thing anyone had every said to me. Putting my head in my hands, my emotions rushed right up into my throat, wanting to cry out at how deeply he affected me. Oh, God, what if I cared the same in return and he left? My being couldn’t bear it. I had to tell him. I couldn’t take him leaving me, so he had to leave now. Yeah, I would tell him. He would have to understand. He wouldn’t want to hurt me. He was too good. He would see the reason.

  I sat there and blankly looked at the text message. There was no reason anymore. The reality was that we had let reason go when we first hooked up. But I could try and dial it back. I could try for my pitiful soul.

  Knowing that he’d be walking through the door in a few hours, I decided not to answer his text and instead plow through the emails and call a few people back who were worried as to my mysterious whereabouts.

  I was lost in conversation with a good friend who was trying to desperately figure out what was going on with me when he walked through my office door unannounced. Trish followed right behind him. I heard her trying to get out some words.

  “Paul…please wait. I have to let Anne know you’re here.” But her words fell on deaf ears.

  “Anne, I texted you and didn’t hear back. What’s going on?” He demanded answers.

  In my most professional manner, I asked Trish to please run out and get us some coffees and close the door behind her. I made it clear that Mr. Wickham and I had some business to discuss and didn’t want to be interrupted except for the coffees.

  He looked at me sternly now, as if in disbelief that I was playing this game.

  When the door closed, he asked, “What the fuck, Anne? What the fuck is going on here? It’s like I don’t exist in your life. What the fuck? I’m so pissed off.”

  “Calm down and just talk with me, please.” I stood and reached for him, but he backed away.

  “You had my cock in your mouth this morning, and now I’m nothing?”

  “It’s not like that. You’re being over dramatic. It’s about keeping up appearances. It’s good for you. You can’t be seen with me.”

  “No, it’s good for you, not me. Do I embarrass you for some reason? You know I could have any woman I want. You know that, right?”