Naked Choke (A Stepbrother MMA Romance)

by Loren, Celia

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  "Yes! Go!" Maya exclaims as I reveal to her my college dreams. We're lying next to each other on her bedroom floor.

  "But there will be tuition costs, I don't even know what I want to study…" I reply, listing off the possible trouble spots.

  "You'll apply for financial aid, you'll get the in-state tuition anyway, plus you'll get a part-time job while you're there. And you'll figure out what you want to study," she counters.

  "If I go to cosmetology school, my mom will pay for it, and I'll have a job waiting for me when I get out."

  Maya turns onto her side and looks down at me seriously. "Cat. Do you want to work at the salon for the rest of your life? Don't get me wrong, I think you'd be good at it, but, honestly? You never seemed that passionate about it. Can you picture yourself doing that for the next forty years?"

  I shiver. "Not when you put it like that. But it just feels so crazy! I've always pictured my life a certain way."

  "Cat, this is good for you, feeling crazy."

  "Really?"

  "Yes! You always play it so safe!"

  "I do not!" I protest, and then frown. "Wait, do I?"

  She gives me a look. "I mean, maybe you went a little overboard this summer, what with your love triangle and all that, but I was happy you were shaking things up a bit. I was worried you'd stay in your safe little box for your whole life."

  "My safe little box…" I repeat, hating the sound of it but knowing she's right. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Well, I tried to, but I sort of thought you liked it like that. But then, this summer, it seemed like you started to want to get out. Maybe you saw something outside of it you wanted badly enough."

  I glance over at her. "Meaning?"

  She shrugs. "You tell me. Why'd you start thinking about college?"

  I chew the inside of my cheek for a moment before answering. "It was something Logan said to me. God, he made me so mad! He said I was so used to doing what my mom wanted me to do, that I didn't even know what I wanted to do."

  To my surprise, Maya starts laughing. "I'm sorry, but man, he got you!"

  I smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I tried calling him, but he's not answering."

  "Give it some time."

  "I can't imagine how angry he is right now."

  "Well, yeah, but I think you need time more than he does. I mean, you know I love you, but if you can't choose between two guys, maybe it's more about you than it is about them."

  I sigh. "Maybe you're right. OK, I know I've asked you for a lot lately, but I have one more favor. The application for spring enrollment is due September fifteenth. Will you help me with my essay and stuff?"

  "That I can do."

  "But wait. In return, I have something for you."

  "What?" she asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

  "I got it from Austen a few days ago," I say, taking my phone out. "Mike's number."

  Her eyes go wide. "Shut up!"

  "And Mike thought you were cute!"

  "I literally cannot believe you have been sitting on this information for three days. Oh my god, what should I do?"

  "Let's start out slow. Just text him."

  * * *

  I take a step back and look at Maya's makeup, then nod, satisfied. "OK, you can look," I say. She turns around to peer at herself in the bathroom mirror.

  "Well, look at me," she says, turning her face from side to side.

  "I can scale the eye makeup back a little," I assure her.

  "No, I like it. Sexy. You sure you don't want to do this professionally?"

  "I'm sure," I reply with a smile. "Only on special occasions, like first dates." After a series of texts spread out over three days, Maya and Mike are finally going on a date tonight. I figure that setting her up is the least I can do for leaning on her so much this summer. "Ready?"

  "Ready."

  After waving goodbye to Maya's parents, I drive her over to meet Mike at an Italian place on Main Street. The hope is that the date will go well and Mike will drive her home. In the meantime, I have to take care of something I've been putting off.

  "Good luck," she says as she hops out.

  "You, too," I reply with a wave. I pull away from the curb and head for Duke's house. At the very least, I need to return his car. I haven't talked to my mom since our argument. I'm so used to seeing her every day…it's been a relief to get away, but I also have to admit that I miss her.

  I pull up to the driveway and take a deep breath as I press the garage open button. Logan's car isn't there, but Austen's is. They should have finished dinner by now, and probably just heard me drive in. I turn off the engine and grab my purse before I lose my nerve.

  As I walk in, I can hear the TV coming from the den. The door to the basement is closed, but my mom and Duke are looking up at me expectantly from the couch when I enter the foyer. Duke's face is a blank, while my mom looks more nervous than anything.

  "Hi," she says.

  "Hi," I reply.

  "I'll let you two talk," Duke says shortly. He moves to stand up, but I reach up my hand.

  "Please, stay. I just want to get it all out in the open. Austen and I were dating this summer," I rush on, before he can protest. "And then something happened between Logan and me, which is why he was so mad. It was wrong of me, and there's nothing going on between us, any of us, now."

  "And there never will be," Duke growls. I pause, and my mom's eyes widen.

  "Cat…"

  "Not right now," I hedge. "I can't predict the future."

  "Did you encourage Logan to train with someone else?" Duke asks in an accusing tone.

  I stare at him for a moment. "No. Though I can understand that it would be easier to think that. As far as I know, he was training in Muay Thai well before I got here."

  "So you knew about it."

  "Yes, just by coincidence. I ran into him in Denver while I was looking at Colorado State," I reply honestly.

  "Where is he now?"

  "I don't know. You haven't been in touch with him?" Duke shakes his head no.

  "You should come back home," my mom says suddenly. "I just want everything to go back to normal."

  "Joanna…" Duke murmurs.

  "Well, she should."

  "Things can't go back to normal, Mom. You have to realize that. I mean, things between me and Austen… I don't know how we'll ever be normal around each other," I point out.

  She frowns, considering. "But you have to save up, if you want to go to college," she says quietly.

  My eyebrows shoot up. "Seriously? You're OK with it?"

  "I do want you to be happy, you know," she says, only a bit sullenly.

  "Thanks, Mom," I reply, feeling a little misty-eyed. "And I already got a lead on a new job. Maya's cousin needs a new bartender—"

  "Bartending?" my mom interrupts, sounding alarmed.

  "Mom, it's a nice place," I sigh.

  "She'll be fine," Duke says softly to my mom, and I look at him in surprise. After a pause, my mom shrugs.

  "I hope Harold wasn't too put out at the gym," I add to him. "I just…I couldn't go back, and I didn't think you'd want me there anyway."

  "We managed." There's a long silence, and then I finally clear my throat.

  "I guess I'll put my stuff back upstairs then," I say. As I turn around, my gaze drifts toward the basement door, but I keep going and head up to the second floor. I'll need to talk to Austen eventually, but I think there's been enough truth-telling for one night.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  I glance over at my mom as I rinse off the dishes from dinner. Three weeks after I returned home and we're still walking on eggshells around each other, but every day has been slightly better. My progress with Austen has been decidedly slower.

  "Where's he eating?" I ask her.

  "He'll eat with us on nights you're working," she replies, knowing who I'm referring to. "Or go to a friend's."

  I nod. We haven't gotten to the point wh
ere we could have a full discussion about either of the Riggins sons, but I was curious about how Austen has been able to evade me so well while we live in the same house. I tried knocking on his door a few times, but he wouldn't answer, and calling or texting gets the same response. The few times I've actually encountered him by chance in the kitchen or garage, he's immediately fled the scene before I can get a word out.

  I dry my hands when I'm done loading the dishwasher and head straight for my car. I didn't open tonight so I was able to eat before starting my shift at the Ale House, and it's always nice to have a full stomach before being on my feet all night. It's a quick drive over to the sports bar on Main Street – ironically, it's one of the places I thought Austen might head to before I found him at Oliver's. I shiver as a wave of images from that night hits me. I've been able to keep my feelings nicely compartmentalized for the most part, but every now and then something will remind me and I'll feel overwhelmed.

  Denise is behind the bar when I clock in. At first she was a little cold to me because of my lack of actual bartending experience and her impatience with training me, but as my skills sharpened, she warmed up to me. She greets me with a quick nod. With a Rockies game on and the bar packed, there's no time for chit-chat. Thankfully, most of the patrons order beers on game nights, so I'm saved from having to whip up anything more than the occasional well drink.

  "Hey!" I yell out as two burly men start a shoving match across from me. "Quit it right now or you're outta here!" They glance at me, surprised. I take the opportunity to quickly fill up two pints and slide them in opposite directions on the bar. They glance at each other, then the drinks: fight or free booze? With a shrug, one turns his back and takes the beer as he finds another spot, and the other does the same.

  "Not bad," Denise yells over the music as she crosses behind me. I shrunk back the first time some patrons started arguing, but Denise told me I had to break that kind of stuff up. I quickly realized these drunk idiots were far less intimidating than the skilled fighters at my last job, and now I'm the first to jump in when I see trouble arise.

  "Hey, jailbait!" a man yells at me. I roll my eyes. I didn't like it when Duke warned all the men of Team Apex to stay away from me, but maybe I didn't know how good I had it. I've lost count of the number of propositions I've had since I started working here, not to mention the eyes constantly looking me up and down. Remember the tips, Cat. Remember the tips, I counsel myself.

  "What can I get for you?" I ask him with a smile, picturing the soft green lawns of Colorado State instead of the man's swollen red cheeks.

  "You, on a plate," he replies, leering at me.

  "So a pilsner, then?" I respond as though I didn't hear him.

  "Fine," he says with a snort. I slide a beer over to him as Denise walks over and leans in close.

  "Normally I wouldn't bother to tell you, but the guy currently staring at you is so freakin' hot…" she says, nodding toward the corner of the bar. I glance over and my gaze locks onto a familiar set of eyes.

  "Oh," I breathe.

  "You know him?"

  "We dated."

  "What happened?"

  "I slept with his brother." It slips out before I can stop myself. To my surprise, Denise bursts out laughing.

  "Damn, girl. I had you pegged all wrong," she says, shaking her head as she walks back over to her side of the bar. I take a deep breath as I walk over to Austen.

  "Mike told me you were working here," he says.

  "You know you could have talked to me anytime at home," I reply.

  "Maybe I wanted to catch you off-guard."

  "Well, you succeeded. Can I get you a drink?"

  "Club soda."

  "How many days now?" I ask as I grab a lime wedge.

  "Five," he replies, his eyes narrowing a little. Five days until the tournament, five days until he could have a contract worth thousands of dollars with the AFF. "I lied to you," he says as I hand the club soda to him.

  "What do you mean? When?"

  "That girl. At Oliver's. I slept with her." My jaw drops. Not what I was expecting to hear. "What I said about how I felt was true, though. I thought you wouldn't forgive me if you knew that."

  I can practically feel steam coming out of my ears. "Was that the only time?" I ask, leaning over the bar to him. "And don't lie. Because it is so over and it wouldn't matter anyway, except that I'd need to go a clinic," I hiss.

  "Only time. I swear."

  "So why the fuck have you been avoiding me for the past three weeks?"

  "He's my brother! That's different, Cat!"

  That stops me cold. "You're right. It is."

  "Have you been talking to him?"

  "No. Seems like no one has. Should we be worried about him?"

  "Friend of a friend saw him up in Denver," he says with a shrug. I nod, feeling my chest constrict at the thought of Logan. "I think we could have been happy together." I glance up sharply at Austen. He has the faintest trace of a smile on his lips, and I think he's being genuine. "Believe it or not, ours was the best relationship I've ever had."

  I grin wryly. "It's weird, but I think you're right. We could have been happy. Maybe we're both fucked up in the same way, though, you know?"

  "I am sorry," he says.

  "Me, too."

  "You seem different, you know."

  "Yeah?"

  He leans back and squints at my face. "Tougher," he finally pronounces.

  "Tougher. I like that."

  "I hear you're going to college."

  "Well, I have to get in first."

  "Why the change of heart? I thought you were excited about beauty school."

  "Someone pushed me to see what I really wanted," I reply.

  "Someone…Logan?" he asks.

  "This is weird to talk about with you."

  "This whole fucking thing is weird, Cat. Why stop now?"

  I laugh abruptly. "You're right. Yeah, alright, it was Logan."

  "He said he was in love with you," Austen muses, taking a sip of his club soda.

  "Yeah, and now I haven't heard from him in three weeks."

  "Look, Logan's the most intense person I know. He keeps himself pretty locked up on the outside, but he burns hot. He's not the kind of guy who could fall out of love with someone just like that. But he also doesn't forgive easily."

  "I can't believe you're giving me advice about him."

  "Our parents seem to be happy together, so I figure we should start trying to get along."

  "So you really think he hasn't given up on me?"

  "Only one way to find out."

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  My mom, Duke, and Austen packed up the car half an hour ago to head up to the tournament. I'm also driving to Denver today, but for a different reason. Overall, I'm proud of myself for getting a job I didn't know anything about and committing to going to college. I feel like I'm going after what I want for the first time in my life. But something inside me still feels empty. And with every day that passes that I don't talk to Logan, the fact that he's what I'm missing becomes clearer and clearer.

  I rehearse what I'm going to say to Logan as I navigate the highway. I know the street where the Muay Thai gym is, so I'm going to park myself outside it, all day if I have to, until I see him. There's no way Logan would have completely given up on his training, he's far too driven, so my theory is that he's training there full-time now.

  After Austen told me he'd slept with that girl, I felt let off the hook, like my guilt didn't have to hold me back anymore. I'm finally free to pursue Logan, and that's what I'm going to do. He's been ignoring all my calls and texts, and now his voicemail is full, so I'm going to go see him in person. And I know today will be rough on him, with his brother taking part in a tournament that he'd love to fight in. Maybe he'll want to see a familiar face.

  I park in almost exactly the same spot where I pulled over on my way back from Colorado State. I grab my purse and walk down the sidewalk, examining the storefron
ts for the gym. A half a block down, I find it, marked only by an unassuming poster in a storefront with the windows blacked out. I try the door: locked. There aren't any hours listed on the poster, so it could be that it's not even open today.

  I turn around, glancing around the street. I spot a coffee shop across the street and cross toward it. The smell of roasting beans and a smiling cashier greets me as I open the door.

  "What can I get for you?" she asks.

  "Actually, I was wondering if you knew anything about the Muay Thai gym across the street. Do they open late on Saturdays?"

  "Oh, they closed down last week, actually. The owner used to stop in here for tea, and he said he got a training offer out in California that he couldn't pass up."

  "OK. Do you…I…" I trail off, feeling completely at a loss as to what to do next. This was my one lead on Logan's whereabouts. "Thanks," I finally say as she gives me a confused look.

  I head back out onto the sidewalk. My eyes fill with tears. I was so excited about the prospect of seeing him today, even if he didn't want to see me. Just catching a glimpse of him would have relieved some of my longing.

  I hear an alert from my phone and dig it out of my purse. Four missed calls from Maya. Shit. I quickly call her back.

  "Are you OK?" I ask as I hear her pick up.

  "He's here!" she exclaims.

  "Who?"

  "Logan! He's here at the tournament. And he's fighting!"

  * * *

  I fly across town to the Pepsi Center and park in the lot. I turn in circles in the midst of the crowds streaming inside until I finally catch a glimpse of Mike's head shining in the sunlight.

  "How is this possible?" I gasp after I run over to them.

  "You explain," Maya urges him. "You understand it better than me."