Silver Linings

by Debbie Macomber

  She was lovely, just the kind of woman James would want for his wife. No wonder he’d gone out of his way to tell Katie it was too late. He had indeed moved on with his life.

  “Yes, yes,” Katie managed, when she realized Emily was waiting for her answer. “James and I graduated together. He might have mentioned me,” she said, wondering if he’d told Emily about their relationship.

  “I believe it’s time for us to mingle,” James said pointedly. He wrapped his arm around Emily’s waist.

  Katie remained too stunned to answer.

  “Nice chatting with you, Katie,” he said, gracing her with a phony smile. “We’ll catch up at our next reunion…say, in another ten years?”

  The two left and Katie remained standing under the basketball hoop, frozen, hardly able to breathe normally.

  How long she remained there she didn’t know. What she remembered next was Coco joining her.

  “Katie, what happened?” she asked, placing her arm around Katie’s shoulders and steering her toward the closest vacant chair.

  They both sat, facing each other so close their knees touched.

  “Who’s that woman with James?” Coco asked.

  “His fiancée.”

  “James is engaged?” Coco sounded as shocked as Katie had been.

  “I asked for just a few minutes to talk…I figured if he listened he might have a change of heart. In exchange he made me promise that I’d never make an effort to see or talk to him again.”

  “Oh Katie.”

  “For just a minute I thought, you know, that he still might care…that he’d never stopped loving me, but I was wrong.”

  “No one forgets their first love, Katie. In his own way James does love you, just not the same.”

  Katie nodded. “He loves Emily. He can barely stand to look at me.”

  “I’m not convinced that’s true.”

  Katie didn’t want to argue. She had her answer. She’d hoped and prayed with all her heart for a second chance with James, but it wasn’t meant to be.

  “Did you get a good look at Emily?” Coco asked, breaking into her thoughts.

  “Yes, of course. She stood right in front of me.”

  “And did you notice anything unusual about her?”

  “She’s very pretty.” Katie didn’t have a clue what Coco was getting at.

  “Oh, Katie, please, take another look.”

  Katie searched them out and saw James and Emily about halfway across the room, talking to friends of James’s. His back was to her and she was confident he stood that way on purpose.

  “Do you see it?” Coco asked.

  Katie gave her friend a blank look. “I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to notice.”

  “Emily, the woman James is engaged to.”

  Just hearing the words was like a knife in her heart.

  “Katie, she looks just like you! James is looking for someone just like you, because he’s never been able to get over you.”

  I sat on the edge of my bed and stared blindly into space. By all rights I should change clothes and get ready for my dinner date, but I found it nearly impossible to move. My mind continued to reel with the news Bob Beldon had delivered.

  I heard Coco and Katie leave for their reunion. I’d mentioned wanting a photo for the inn’s Facebook account but didn’t have the wherewithal to take it. All I could think about was the fact that for the second time in my life I was about to lose the man I loved under very similar circumstances.

  Mark had returned to Iraq and by his own estimation didn’t feel confident he’d make it back to the States alive…and still he went, leaving me behind, even though he loved me. I thought about the intricate cradle he’d built and wondered if deep down he’d had a child of his own in mind. Our baby. I’d been shocked when he’d given it away. In retrospect, the timing was right—it was around then that he’d made his decision to return to Iraq.

  My cell dinged with a text message from Gina.

  Just off the ferry. 25 min eta.

  For all the care—the hair, the nails, and the new outfit—that had gone into preparing for this dinner date, I now had to force myself to finish getting ready. I had no idea how I’d manage to get through this evening.

  Gina’s text got me moving. I changed clothes and filled my head with self-talk, promising that I’d shuffle through the emotions, doubts, fears, and hopes of Bob’s news later.

  Rich had sounded like a decent guy who was looking to make a good impression. He was the soon-to-be brother-in-law of one of my best friends. Besides, I knew Rhyder well. I should be able to do this.

  The anger and sadness I’d experienced earlier regarding Mark had dissolved. All I felt now was…no, I didn’t have the luxury of time to dwell on this now.

  I slipped on my TOMS and was stunned by how strange it felt to be in a skirt. It reminded me of my days working in the bank. Although it’d been only a couple years since I’d left the corporate world, it felt as if it’d been a lifetime ago.

  Rover barked, indicating my guests had arrived. Dragging in a deep breath, I knotted my fists, squared my shoulders, and started for the front door.

  Gina was already halfway up the sidewalk with the two brothers behind her. She wore a huge smile and her eyes were bright with anticipation and joy. I’d never seen my good friend in love before, and I had to say it suited her.

  “Welcome, welcome,” I said, hoping my greeting sounded far more cheerful than I felt.

  Gina hugged me and then turned to introduce Rich. “My future brother-in-law, Rich,” she said, swinging her arm out in a wide arc. “And of course you remember Rhyder.”

  “Hi, Rich,” I said, hoping my smile looked genuine. Rover barked as if requesting an introduction. “This is Rover.”

  Rich stepped forward and extended his hand. “Jo Marie.”

  He has nice eyes, I mused. Kind and friendly, warm, and a dark shade of brown, like chocolate. Rich was about an inch shorter than his brother and beefier, with broad shoulders. I guessed he’d played football at one time just from the look of him.

  Rich reached down and petted Rover, who eyed him a bit suspiciously.

  “He’s a friend,” I whispered to my canine companion. Rover, however, continued to stay close by my side and didn’t let his eyes wander away from Rich. My dinner date must have noticed Rover’s scrutiny, because he kept a close watch on Rover as well.

  Following the introductions, I led everyone into the house. I gave the three a quick tour and then led them into the living room. Earlier that afternoon I’d made up a plate of cheese and crackers.

  Rhyder and Gina took the sofa, and Rich sat on one of the two wing-backed chairs while I set out the cheese plate. I brought it in on a tray along with the wine bottle and four glasses. When I entered the room, Rich stood and took the tray from me and then proceeded to open the bottle and pour the wine.

  Rover continued to keep a close guard on Rich, following the man’s every move and positioning himself between the two chairs as my protector. Heaven help Rich if he made one wrong move. I found it curious that Rover would be so on his guard with Rich.

  Now that we each held a glass of merlot and a small cheese plate and napkin, I took my seat.

  “The meeting with Rhyder’s parents went well,” Gina offered, starting the conversation.

  “Frankly, Mom and Dad were so grateful to find a woman willing to marry Rhyder that they’re doing cartwheels,” Rich said, teasing his brother.

  Rhyder frowned at his brother and then smiled. He raised his wineglass in a toast. “To love and marriage.”

  “Here, here,” Gina added, and we all clinked the rims of our wineglasses together.

  After a brief conversation and the wine and cheese, we left for the restaurant. Knowing that Gina enjoyed Thai, I suggested a local place I’d heard had great reviews online and from my guests. I’d been meaning to try it but hadn’t.

  Mark enjoyed Thai food. I’d discovered that quite by accident when I ha
ppened upon a recipe for Tom Yum soup in a magazine. Mark had stopped by right around dinnertime, something that had become a habit with him. When I told him what I planned to cook he’d gone on the Internet and found a recipe for a similar soup called Tom Kha, which was made with coconut milk. He claimed it was one of his favorites.

  At the time, I’d been annoyed. I’d already decided on what I wanted to cook for dinner and he’d done his best to persuade me to try something else. Being generous in spirit, I’d agreed. Now I had to wonder if Mark had spent time in Thailand, either with his father as an army brat or later in his own military career.

  We were seated right away and the waitress delivered menus. Rich sat in the chair next to me, glanced at the menu, and set it aside.

  “Do you know what you’re having?” I asked, looking for a recommendation. I knew Pad Thai was a popular dish, but I wanted to venture out a bit.

  In the end I wasn’t sure I’d remember the official name of the dish I ordered. Whatever it was, I found it incredibly delicious, probably because it was covered in peanut sauce. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of an appetite and struggled to swallow more than a few bites. The waitress looked concerned and I assured her it was an excellent recommendation and that I’d take the leftovers home and enjoy it later.

  Thankfully, Gina and Rhyder carried the conversation, full of news about their wedding plans. Gina said she wanted me to serve as one of the bridesmaids. Rhyder wanted Rich as his best man. A good part of the evening was taken up discussing the pros and cons of a small, private wedding. Rhyder wanted to go on an exotic honeymoon. The question was whether to forgo the large wedding and honeymoon and purchase a house instead.

  “The thing is,” Gina said, raising her voice to be heard over the two men, “I only plan to marry once in my life, and I want a nice wedding.”

  “That’s what I thought, too,” Rich said sarcastically, bringing up his failed first marriage for the first time. “It was what I thought Melissa wanted, too, but I was wrong.”

  Gina looked toward me. “You had a small wedding when you married Paul, didn’t you?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Do you regret not having the big wedding of your dreams?”

  I didn’t need to consider her question. “I regret nothing with Paul. Every minute we had together was precious, a gift I didn’t fully appreciate until it was too late. With Mark it’s different. I was blind to so much that I should have picked up on sooner. How could I have been so dense when it was all right there for me to see?” When I finished I realized all three of my dinner companions were staring at me like I’d recently stepped off a spaceship.

  “Mark?” Gina repeated, looking at me strangely. “Who’s Mark?”

  Wow. What did I just do? I was clearly more rattled by Bob’s news of Mark than I’d realized. “A…a friend.”

  Rich frowned in my direction. “He sounds like more than a friend to me.” His gaze swiveled from me to Gina, as if looking for an explanation.

  “Mark was a local handyman and carpenter,” I said, hoping I wasn’t digging myself into a deeper hole. “He built the gazebo and the sign for the inn and did a number of other projects for me.”

  “Was?” Rhyder asked. “Past tense?”

  “He left,” I said simply, thinking it was best not to go into the details.

  “You mean he quit?” Gina asked.

  “No, he left as in moved away…”

  “Where did he go?”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer, or even if I should. “To war,” I whispered. “He went off to war.”

  “You mean he joined the military?” This came from Rhyder.

  “No, he was in the military, or used to be. He went back…of his own accord, to help a friend.” It didn’t seem I was going to satisfy them with tidbits of information, so I blurted out the whole mess.

  “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” This came from Rich and was more a statement than a question.

  I swallowed hard. “I’m afraid I might be. I know he loves me…but not enough to stay.” Something Bob had said immediately flashed into my mind. I’d basically said the same words to Bob—that Mark didn’t love me enough. Right away, Bob had argued and claimed Mark’s love for me was stronger than I could ever imagine or could possibly accept, which was why he’d decided to return to Iraq.

  “I just found out this afternoon,” I whispered, and despite my best efforts, my voice cracked. “He wouldn’t tell me why he was leaving or where he intended to go.”

  “That’s rough,” Rich said. “If I’d known, I would have suggested dinner another night. I wish you’d been more honest with me, especially given that you’re falling for another guy.”

  “Give it a rest,” Gina snapped.

  I felt Rich deserved an answer, so I gave him one. “Like I said, I didn’t know the reasons Mark had left until after you and I talked. The truth is I decided to go to dinner with you because I was angry but thought I had to move on. I hadn’t talked to Bob yet…”

  “Who’s Bob?”

  “Oh sorry, a friend. He came late this afternoon to fill in the details as to why Mark left. Until then I didn’t know. All Mark would tell me was that he had to leave.”

  “Mark and now Bob?” Rich grumbled under his breath. He raised his arm in order to get the waitress’s attention and then called out loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear, “Check please.”

  “Grow up, would you?” Gina said.

  “Gina,” Rhyder said, and gently placed his hand over hers. “I think it’s time we left.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said to Rich. “I really do owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have come…please let me pay for the meal. It’s the least I can do.”

  “No way,” Gina protested. “We’ll split it down the middle.”

  Rich crossed his arms and pouted while Rhyder and I split the check.

  “You’re kidding me, right?” Gina said pointedly at Rich. “You’re seriously going to let Jo Marie pay for your meal?” she asked, looking outraged on my behalf.

  “It’s fine,” I assured her, not wanting to make a fuss. “This was really awkward, and it’s my fault.”

  It took several uncomfortable minutes before the waitress returned with our credit card slips. No one seemed eager to linger over tea or coffee and we left the Thai Palace almost right away. The ride back to the inn was uncomfortably silent.

  “Thank you,” I said, the instant Rhyder pulled to a stop in front of the inn.

  “Listen, Jo Marie,” said Rich. “I apologize for the way I behaved earlier. I was hoping…you know.”

  “No hard feelings,” I assured Rich, as I opened the car door. I squeezed Gina’s shoulder before I climbed out of the car. “I’ll keep in touch,” I promised.

  “Please do,” Gina said back.

  “Good luck with Mark…or was it Bob?” Rich added.

  I smiled ruefully and closed the car door, watching as Rhyder backed out of the driveway.

  Rover stood inside the front door when I let myself into the inn. I knelt down on the hardwood floor and hugged his neck. I felt incredibly emotional.

  My first attempt to get on with my life had failed miserably. Even if I hadn’t had the other shoe drop with Mark leaving right before this date, I wasn’t sure I was ready. I’d barely recovered from losing my husband, and now had been left reeling with Mark’s determination to get himself killed.

  I’d give just about anything to talk to Mark. I knew exactly what I’d say, too, exactly what I’d tell him. I’d tell him almost the same thing I had said to Paul just before he shipped out when we learned he’d been stationed in Afghanistan.

  Live. Do whatever possible to stay alive. I’ll be waiting. Praying, faithful. Just live.

  My words, my prayers, hadn’t made a difference when it came to Paul. I could only hope they would with Mark.

  Coco had waited all day for this night, eager to connect with Hudson again. Actually, she’d waited ten years for this night, plotting and p
lanning her revenge against Ryan, only to have things turn around in a matter of minutes. In forgiving him it was like a huge retaining wall had been breached. In the matter of a single day she saw the world in a different light.

  In the past twenty-four hours she’d done a lot of thinking about Ryan—and surprisingly, Hudson, too. For years she’d kept all her relationships with men at arm’s distance, never dating one for long, never quite trusting men, fearful of giving her heart away. A sense of adventure now filled her, a desire to break out of this protective cocoon, spread her wings, and soar.

  The first person she thought to test this new sense of self with was Hudson, who at one time had so obviously adored her. The truth was she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him and now she understood why. Every time he came to mind, a happy feeling stole over her. He was quiet, sincere, intelligent, and unlike any man she’d dated. Instinctively, she recognized this was a man she could trust, a man who, given the chance, would treasure her. And for the first time in her adult life she wasn’t afraid to let down her guard and open her heart.

  Hudson showed up at the dinner about thirty minutes after Coco, and she noticed that once again he attended solo. After greeting several others he walked around the perimeter of the room and took a seat in the back. Coco made her way to him, weaving around the obstacle course of tables and chairs. Although intent on reaching Hudson, she was stopped a number of times by classmates she hadn’t chatted with earlier. It seemed to take forever to make her way to where she’d last seen Hudson, only to find that he was no longer at the table.

  Anxiously, she searched the room. It didn’t take her long to locate him. Hudson stood with a group of three guys who’d once been members of the science club. Coco remembered that this club was often referred to as the Geek Squad.

  The two other men with Hudson formed a tight circle. He’d been the president of the group—that fact had slipped her mind completely. She hadn’t known Hudson was even part of the club until she checked her yearbook last night. Actually, she learned a good deal about him from those pages.