by BL Mute
“Pleasure doing business,” I say as we turn to walk out of the old run-down restaurant.
I was hesitant to trust Charlie, to let her lead the way and tell me what she wants, but after we finished last night, she curled into my arms and slept. She didn’t wake crying or screaming, like Carl said sometimes happens, so maybe this is what she needed. She needed to erase all of those memories of Teddy, even just for a moment.
I look down at her sleeping face snuggled into the bend of my elbow before gently pulling away, hoping I don’t wake her. Slowly I move inch by inch. When I’m finally free, I stand from the bed and look down on her. I’ve always thought Charlie was beautiful, but now she has a certain glow to her. As I’m admiring her sleeping form, I hear the front door open and close.
I never heard Julius leave last night, so immediately my mind goes to an intruder of some sort. I ruffle through my discarded clothes and find my gun, then slip my slacks on before padding to her door stealthily. I crack the door open and let the barrel of my gun lead the way. It’s early morning, so the sun is barely peeking above the horizon, shining little light inside.
A dark figure moves around the kitchen, almost unafraid and like they know the place. I stay close to the wall and move down it until I hit the light switch. I flip it on and raise my gun higher, ready to shoot.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Julius laughs, shielding his eyes from the light.
I lean my head back and roll my shoulders. “Dude, you almost got killed. Why are you sneaking around and shit?”
“I’m not sneaking. I’m being considerate because I assumed you both were still asleep. Just trying to be quiet.” He shrugs.
“What were you doing outside, then? I heard you come through the door.”
He points to the fireplace that is barely glowing. “I was grabbing more firewood. Do you like chilling in a fucking meat locker?”
Before I can come back with a smart remark, low ringing grabs my attention. “Fuck.”
I rush back to Charlie’s room and grab my phone from where my shirt is on the floor and hit the silent button. Before I answer, I look back and make sure she’s sleeping, then walk back out.
“Hello?” I bring the phone to my ear.
“Hale,” Sebastian sounds from the other side. “I have some news.”
I put it on speaker and walk closer to Julius. “What kind of news?”
“Desi will be taken care of by this evening, and a little birdy gave me some info on your cop.”
“Cameron? How did you even know we were looking for him?”
“Did you forget he was related to David? If it weren’t for him, David never would have got tangled up in the mess with all of you to begin with. Now, since I’m doing something for you, I want you to do something for me.”
Julius narrows his eyes at me and waves his hand, telling me to keep the conversation with Sebastian going to see where it goes. “Negotiation time is over, Sebastian. If you wanted more, you should have spoken up. We already have a deal.”
“This will benefit us both, Hale.”
“How so?”
“You want Emil gone, and I want Cameron gone. It shouldn’t be too hard to cover up considering he’s already hiding out. I’m the one taking a real risk here dealing with Emil. So, it’s the least you can do. Get rid of him, and I assure you I’ll get rid of Emil.”
“You’ve already assured me Emil will be handled. But since we share an enemy, don’t think I’m doing this for you. I’m doing this for me. No more negotiations. I’ll do what I have to.”
“Likewise.”
“Send me the info.”
I end the call without a goodbye, then look to Julius. “I thought it was a fucking given Cameron would be taken care of. Why would he even ask?”
He walks to the fireplace and throws another log onto the embers. “Maybe he just really wants him gone.”
My phone pings. I look down and see an address dance across the screen. “You’re joking,” I say flatly.
“What?”
I turn the screen to Julius. “He’s been hiding in plain fucking sight!” I yell, throwing my phone onto the couch.
“That’s why Charlie and Carl saw him that day. Her doctor is in the middle of town, and so is he. Maybe it wasn’t on purpose. It was a coincidence.”
“I don’t care what it was. I want him gone.”
Julius huffs. “I get this is important, but you know Charlie is protected. You know who isn’t though? The girl at the casino.”
I scrub a hand down my face. “Right now? Seriously, Jules?”
“Yeah, seriously. How can you not fucking care?”
“I do care!” I step close to him and lean into his face. “I just care about her more!” I point behind me to Charlie’s door.
“I’ve kept my mouth shut and gone along with everything you’ve wanted. I get it, she’s important. I care about her too, Lucas, but who cares about those other girls? No one!” His voice raises to match mine. “Why not get it all over with at once.”
I shake my head and step back. “I told you, once Emil is gone, we will fucking handle it. I don’t want to risk her or the baby’s life.”
“And I don’t either, but I’m smart enough to know if we do shit the right way, we won’t.”
Something in his voice tells me there is more to his feelings than he’s leading on. “What is it, dude? I get caring, but you would never put Charlie in danger for yourself let alone someone else.”
“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll handle it myself,” he says, shaking his head.
If growing up with him has taught me anything, it’s that once he gets to a point of being so passionate about something, it’s best not to question it. He’ll do nothing but shut down, then try something stupid to make a point.
“Whatever. Don’t be stupid, Jules.”
He grabs the axe leaning by the door, the one I’m assuming he cut some firewood with, then opens the door. “Don’t worry, brother. I won’t go on a bender and have a temper tantrum like you do when you don’t get your way.”
Before I can reply, he slams the door behind him.
“Lucas?” Her voice is raspy and low.
I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves before I turn around. “Morning.”
“What was that about?”
I walk to her and wrap my arms around her waist before kissing the top of her head. “Don’t worry about it.”
She pulls away and gives me a look that could kill. “Stop treating me like a porcelain fucking doll. I can handle things. I won’t break.”
“I beg to differ,” I mumble.
She bites her lip and glares at me, then swings her fist into my ribs. I double over and gasp for the air the punch stole. “Fuck,” I cough.
“I’m sick of all of you treating me like I haven’t seen you all beat the shit out of someone or even like you haven’t beat the shit out of me. I’m pregnant, not stupid. The only reason you all even have this shit is because Teddy didn’t want me to deal with it unless I wanted to. Don’t ever forget that.”
The mention of Teddy’s name alone makes my blood boil. I guess I was hopeful that last night wiped every memory of him away, but I know shit doesn’t work that way. She’ll never forget him. He’s the one who made her who she is. Who made her hard and unapologetic.
“Tell me, Lucas. Or else I’ll just sit here and beat you all day. Don’t think I have any qualms about it.”
I finally look back up to her, and the realization hits me. Last night didn’t make her forget Teddy; it did something so much better. It brought back the old Charlie. The Charlie who can get down to business, who can run shit, the one who isn’t scared.
“We know where Cameron is,” I blurt.
Her hand moves to her stomach, and she clutches it like she’s protecting the baby inside. “Where?”
I reach out and run my fingers over her hand. “It’s okay. I won’t let anything happen to you or Hale. I promise.”
“I asked where,” she retorts.
I drop my hand and take a step back. The hard, cold, uncaring part of her is definitely back. “In the middle of town. Maybe a block from your doctor’s office.”
“That isn’t a coincidence, Lucas.”
“I never said it was.”
“You did. I heard the whole conversation. I just wanted to see if you’d tell me,” she admits. “Him being there that day wasn’t a coincidence. It was planned. He wants me and he won’t stop till he has me, he made that very clear. Maybe he thought because we aren’t actively out looking for him, we just have Sloan watching things, that we’ve forgotten about him. He wanted to remind us he’s still around and not scared. He has nothing to lose.”
I run a hand over my face as all of Charlie’s words start to slowly process in my mind. One, she heard everything. She didn’t need me to repeat anything, she just wanted to see if I would. If I would tell her what’s going on. And two, Cameron. And she’s so fucking right about Cameron.
“The ones with nothing to lose are the ones you have to worry about,” I remark more to myself than her.
“I know.”
“I know what we can do.”
Lucas looks at me skeptically, and I don’t blame him. The last time I had a plan, people died. Teddy died.
I try and push those thoughts out of my mind, but every time they come, they don’t want to leave. Maybe if I didn’t act so rashly, he would still be here. He would still be able to see his child grow, and I wouldn’t be stuck doing this all alone.
As soon as the word “alone” drifts into my head, all of my thoughts of Teddy are replaced with Lucas and his promises. They’re replaced with last night. My breath hitches without permission, and a sinking feeling fills my stomach before butterflies erupt and take flight.
“You okay?” Lucas is right next to me again, rubbing soothing circles on my back.
“I’m fine.” I take a few steps away from him.
The thought of Lucas alone makes warmth wash all over me and happiness grow inside of me, and that should be good, but it makes me feel terrible. One second, I want to forget Teddy, and the next, I’m gripping onto every last strand of him. Clawing at the fucked-up memories because it’s all I have anymore. I can’t even remember what the good memories were.
When I think of happiness or love, the only picture I see is Lucas. It should be a relief, only I’m carrying Teddy’s child. If I can’t even remember the good parts of Teddy, how am I supposed to keep his memory alive for the baby?
I snap back to the conversation trying to forget all of the running thoughts in my mind that don’t involve Cameron. “I have an idea.”
Lucas crosses his arms and leans against the arm of the couch. “Okay, but if I don’t like it, we aren’t doing it.”
I swallow and nod. “We can stage it as a suicide.”
“A suicide? We don’t have to stage it as anything, Charlie. Since he’s already hiding out, I bet no one will even look for him.”
“No.” I walk into the kitchen and start rummaging through cabinets like it’s just another day when it’s anything but that. We are planning a murder. And for one, I don’t feel anything but happy about it. “I want the people who love him, if there even are any, to find him. I want them to feel the exact way I felt when I lost my dad… When I lost Teddy.”
His name on my lips almost stings. I haven’t spoken it out loud in a while. Not in a conversation like this anyway, but maybe this will help me finally let go. Teddy is gone, and he isn’t coming back. This will be the last piece of the puzzle. Kill Cameron and avenge the man I once loved and my father. They both deserve at least that.
“And I want to be the one to do it,” I add, shaking some oats into a bowl.
He doesn’t argue with my reasoning which is for the best. I’m not in the mood. “How?”
“Once we get him, we’ll take him to Malloy Bridge. It’s a pretty central spot, but it’s practically dead at night. He’ll jump. All of the jagged rocks on the riverbed below will do our job for us and leave no evidence.”
“Why Malloy Bridge? There are other ways we can handle this that involve a drawn-out pain.”
I pour a little water into the bowl and pop it into the microwave. “My dad.”
He tips his head. “What do you mean?”
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. “There is a park on the east side of the bridge. When I was younger, we would always park on the opposite side and walk across to the park. When I got older, we kept that tradition when we could. Since it was a good in between of our house and the station, we would meet at the park for lunch sometimes. I still always parked on the other side and walked across. Something about it was just soothing.”
“What if you taint those memories?”
I think back to those days with my dad. Shit was simpler then. I never had to worry about the things I do now. I was just a kid who had a great dad, but Cameron took that away.
The microwave dings, interrupting the thoughts of my dad. “They won’t. It will be closing a chapter to start a new one. Him being gone will give me nothing but peace.”
“If that’s what you want, we will do it. I’ll call Carl and give him his location and see if you can grab him unexpectedly.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
“Are you sure about this, Flower?” His voice is soft and almost hesitant.
“I’m sure.”
“And us?” He lowers his head and rubs the back of his neck.
“What about us?” I knew this conversation was coming. I knew he would want to talk things out, maybe make sure I’m okay, but honestly, I don’t know if I even want to do that. Lucas is a distraction. A welcomed distraction that makes me feel better, but I don’t know if I can take it any further than that yet.
“What are we, Charlotte?” His eyes connect with mine and hold me hostage. Something in them screams at me to give in. To let me love him.
“We’re just us, Lucas. What else would we be?” I want him to confess his love to me. Tell me all of the things I want to hear so I don’t have to be the one to do it first, but I know he won’t. The only time he even halfway admits anything is when he’s drunk.
“Why? Why can’t we be more?” His voice takes a turn and comes out angry.
I give him a sad smile. “Because we can’t even admit our feelings to each other.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I can admit that I love you, I just haven’t because I don’t want to be made a fool. Professing my love to a woman who can’t do the same. Who probably doesn’t even feel the same.”
“You only think you love me. What we have isn’t love.”
“And how are you so sure?”
I let out a low laugh. “We don’t even know each other. I use you and you use me, plain and simple. We both get off on the fact we shouldn’t be together—on the forbidden. Just like you drink to feel numb, I use you to feel numb.”
“You’re lying.”
His comment almost catches me off guard. I know I’m lying too, but what other way can I get out of this? I took that step—crossed the fucking line—and now I’m more unsure than ever. I feel things with Lucas. Things I felt with Teddy, but what if he hurts me?
My heart can’t take another heartbreak.
I try a new angle. “Lucas…” I sigh “You think you love me now, but eventually you’ll get bored of me. You’re a playboy, a player. You have women falling at your feet. You don’t want me.”
“If you’re trying to change my mind, it won’t work. I’ll fucking prove it. You can say you don’t love me all you want, but we both know it’s a lie. You want me just as bad as I want you. Last night proved that.”
He steps around the corner and rushes to my front. His chest presses into mine, and I suck in a sharp breath and feel my heart start to beat faster.
“See? That right there. That isn’t hate or numbness.”
His hand reaches out and pushes the hair behind my ear. �
��Stop assuming the worst in me, and stop hiding behind your anger. I’m not fucking going anywhere no matter how hard you push.”
“If you mean it, then say it.” Say you love me. Prove me wrong.
He bites his lip and tips his head. “No. I’ll prove it instead.”
“How?”
“You’ll see.”
Our connection is severed when his phone rings. He drops his hand and walks over to the couch and picks it up. “Hello?”
I stand still, trying to listen to the conversation like I can even hear the other person.
“What happened? … No, Jules, I said don’t do anything stupid. Come home so we can talk about this.”
Lucas goes silent for a moment before removing the phone from his ear and tossing it back on the couch.
“What’s the matter?”
“He wants to go back to the casino.”
I prop my hand on my hip. “Okay, what’s the issue?”
He shakes his head. “There is more than he’s saying. Something is getting under his skin, and I don’t know what. If he goes, I have no doubt he will let his anger get the best of him and he’ll do something reckless.”
My mind flashes to the first time I saw Julius upset. The night at the club with Simon. He never hesitated. Never apologized. He didn’t give two shits who saw or heard. He had one goal, and one goal only: hurt Simon the way he was hurting me.
“Maybe it’s the girl.”
“What girl?”
“The girl from the file. The blonde.”
Realistically, everything happening in the casino basement is terrible, but if he was so willing to fight for me, someone he cared about, maybe that’s it in this case too.
Lucas looks deep in thought for a moment. “Our mother was blonde,” he remarks.
I close my eyes and cross my arms as an unsettling sadness washes over me. “Fuck,” I whisper.
“She looks like her… kind of,” he continues.
My heart breaks for a woman I never even knew and her boys. “We will figure this out.” I step close to him and run my hands over his back.
“We can’t do anything yet. We have to wait until Sebastian follows through with his end of the deal. If we strike now, it will do nothing but complicate things.”
