The Pumpkin Problem

by Beth Byers

  And Zee was my best friend. Somewhere between ten and twenty years older than me, she was snarky, sarcastic, and often out-and-out mean. She also could run circles around me, was addicted to cats, and her knobby knees stuck out from under her uniform dress while she put her hands on her bony hips and stared at me like a naughty child.

  I was weeping hysterically in the street, so I could see her point. But I also wanted to smack her for her utter lack of understanding. I was, after all, crying for someone’s baby lying dead in the alley, I was crying for the way my perfect Halloween was ruined, I was crying because my phone had broken, I was crying because our streak of nearly 6 months without a murder in Silver Falls was over, and I was crying because I hurt.

  “I’m sorry!” J.J. was pacing and Zee snapped at him. I didn’t hear what she said, but I saw J.J. flinch and cried for that too.

  “It’s not his fault,” I told Az who was squatting in front of me, watching my tears with horror. “I need Simon.”

  “Are you having contractions, Rosie luv? Do you need an ambulance?”

  I shook my head slowly as Az lifted me like a baby and carried me into the diner. “No,” I whispered, making sure that J.J. couldn’t hear me. “But someone does. Or did. There’s a dead guy in the alley.” The last bit was a wail, and I sniffled into Az’s shoulder.

  Az clutched me close and then he said, “All right now, Rosie luv. All right now. I’ve got you.”

  “Someone slap her,” Zee suggested dryly.

  Az ignored Zee and said to Carmen. “Run over to get Mattie from the spa. She’ll be more comforting than our resident cactus.”

  She nodded and went running.

  “J.J,” Az said to the panicking kid, “This is a girl thing not a Rose is hurt thing. You didn’t do this.”

  “Uncle Sy is gonna kill me dead,” J.J. said. “I didn’t mean to knock her down. Dad says he’s never seen someone so crazy protective as Uncle Sy over Rose. He’ll never forgive me.”

  Az carefully set me down on the first booth and then said, “You didn’t, little man. Why don’t you stay here, and I’ll call your mom. She’ll come check out Rose, and you’ll see that she’s fine. Rose is crying about other stuff.”

  J.J. nodded, biting his lip to hold back tears and I told Az, “Sugar J.J. up Az. A milkshake. Cake. Something. Anything.”

  I could tell that my tears were freaking J.J. out, but I couldn’t stop crying. I really did hurt. My wrist mostly. But also my booty. Mostly, however, I was cringing inside. How could I have a baby in a world where people were slaughtered and just dumped where people put their trash?

  Az took his phone out and called Simon from the safety of the hallway where he could ensure that no one could hear what he was about to say.

  “Suck it up,” Zee told me. Her gaze followed mine to Az and she said, “What’s going on then?”

  I shook my head. I’d have messaged her but my phone splattered on the sidewalk when I’d knocked J.J. down. I started crying harder and then said, “I…I…can’t explain.” I’d have pointed to J.J., but my wrist was hurting so bad, I was afraid to move it. My butt was hurting even more, and I needed to take a deep breath, but I couldn’t catch my breath and then Simon was through the door.

  He took in the sight of me crying—something he’d gotten used to in the last few months. I had become a pregnant weeping well but despite how used to it Simon was, he was still across the diner and onto his knees a moment later. I curled into him crying as I tried to tell him. “Wrist…alley…I’m sorry…oh why is this happening?”

  J.J. squeaked and his gaze was horrified as he glanced from me to Simon. We had both turned to the boy and Simon rose, holding out his hand for a shake, keeping one hand on me the whole time.

  “Thanks buddy for being there when Rose needed help.”

  “It’s my fault,” he said. “She tripped on me. I’m sorry, Uncle Sy. I…I was in the way.”

  Simon shook his head and said, “She was crying before she saw you. I’m sure you were just walking innocently down the sidewalk.”

  I nodded into Simon’s side, still clutching at him as though he could make it all better. I didn’t understand why I was being like this. It was…oh man, it was like when I was on my period and psycho and knew it and yet I still couldn’t stop it. That was what was happening. Except it was growing a baby that was making me psycho.

  I snuffled and told J.J. “It’s just pregnancy hormones buddy.” I wailed the last little bit and then whimpered, “They make me cry all the time. Those stupid apple breakfast cereal commercials with the mom and dad at the table. The way the sun rises so beautifully. Why do they make me cry every time?”

  J.J. nodded, eyes wide. I could see the panic in his face still and knew that my assurances weren’t helping. Simon’s acceptance, however, seemed to be slowly calming J.J.

  “Lyle is blocking the alley off,” Az told Simon so low it was hard to catch what he was saying. “without going in.”

  J.J. glanced between Az and Simon. He’d heard Az, but he didn’t do much more than glance out the window with his gaze widening. Whatever questions he had were frightened off by my reaction. I bet he’d be asking his dad later when he felt safe enough.

  Simon nodded to Az, digging his fingers into my hair while I started to slowly win the battle over my emotions. Zee sat down across from me and handed me a steaming mug. Simon sent J.J. into the kitchen to cook with Az.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “Hot chocolate. I’d like to put in a dollop of a slap, but Az and Simon won’t let me.”

  “I kind of want to slap myself,” I sniffled, wiping my face on a napkin and then I almost wailed, “I was having such a good day.”

  “You’ll have good days again,” Zee said, rolling her eyes and glancing up to the heavens. “You might have a good day today if you just let me slap you a little bit. Just one good wallop. What do you say?”

  “I hate you,” I told her.

  “I’ve never understood why people like me.” She sipped her own hot chocolate and shoved mine closer.

  CHAPTER 3

  “It’s like enjoying wasabi,” Carver—her fiancé and sheriff—said from the doorway of the diner. “Painful but good.” He put his hands on his hips as an ambulance and police car pulled up outside of the diner, blocking the alleyway off. I watched as Lyle spoke to the cop and then nodded a time or two before he came back inside the diner. He went into the kitchen, saw J.J. and left it without saying a word to clear tables.

  Simon kissed my forehead, whispered that everything would be fine, and left with Carver to check out the crime scene.

  She scowled at him too and then said, “The hot chocolate isn’t going to help you if you don’t drink it.”

  I hated Zee a little but as I sipped the cocoa since she scowled at me the entire time. “What’s happening?”

  Given J.J. had joined Az in the kitchen, I could tell Zee what I was losing it over. I did it while only crying a little bit. Well less anyway. “Dead guy in the alley. With my big pumpkin on his dead.”

  Zee’s head cocked. “What?”

  I nodded.

  She narrowed her gaze at me, and said, “They put the pumpkin over his head?”

  “I thought it was a gross Halloween decoration at first.”

  Her gaze turned quizzical and she asked, “Did you touch him?"

  I shuddered, shook my head, and had to wipe away a new flood of tears.

  “How did you know then?”

  “The smell,” I said and then gagged into my cocoa. I could almost taste the smell in the back of my throat and I had never needed to know what stale body and murder tasted like. The combination of pregnancy altered senses and what I’d seen was more than any person should have to handle.

  “Hang on a second,” Zee said. She rose, glanced around the diner. No doubt she was taking in the entire state of the diner, making sure that nothing needed to be done before she stepped out.

  I shuddered as she
left and watched through the glass as she tried to enter the alley, got turned away by Officer Welsh, and then chewed him out. She called down the alleyway a time or two, and I could see her stiffen. Whatever—no doubt Simon or Carver—had said to her had infuriated her. She nearly stomped the entire way back into the diner.

  “That’s some weird stuff,” Zee said almost idly. “I couldn’t get that good of a look though. Carver didn’t even respond when I called his name. Someone’s getting the couch. Possibly forever.”

  “No wonder he bought a nice new couch,” I told her.

  She grinned and winked before she looked back out the window and watched the professionals come and go. She seemed to be totally unaffected, but I knew she wasn’t. She hated when this happened in her town—in our town. She hated when Silver Falls was contaminated by the hatred and greed of the bigger world. She’d told me once, during one of our wine and gossip nights, that she’d come to Silver Falls because it seemed set apart from so much of the hate in her last town.

  Even though we definitely had too many murders, I didn’t disagree. Our town was focused on service and kindness and things like this Halloween night. Thinking of the Halloween night made me cry a little more and Zee huffed and rolled her eyes.

  My friend Mattie came in while I was crying, and she said, “Zee what did you do?”

  Zee huffed and got up from the booth to deliver plates of food without bothering to do more than shoot Mattie and evil look. Mattie sat next to me, wrapped her arms around me, and clucked as I sniffled into my cocoa. I didn’t start to feel better until Az bought me a pumpkin waffle and a plate of celery and peanut butter.

  “You’re so good to me,” I sniffled up at him, smiling through my tears. He backed away with a bit of a panic in his gaze. He didn’t even do much more than touch Mattie on the shoulder despite the fact that they were together.

  “He’s never gonna want kids now,” Mattie told me. “Thanks friend.”

  I laughed, sniffled again, and then started on the waffle. The plate was really one of our platters since it had hash browns as well as eggs, but I thought Az was trying to get me into a food coma both for himself and for Simon’s sakes.

  Mattie chattered deliberately keeping her story light while I ate and by the time I was done with the celery, half the waffles and half the hash browns, Jane had arrived. She checked me over, wrapped my wrist, and told me, “You weren’t suppose to find any more bodies.”

  “There weren’t supposed to be any more murders.”

  “Are you so sure it’s a murder?” Jane asked quietly. Her gaze was concerned. It flicked from the kitchen where J.J. was to the alley where the EMTs were standing and watching and then around the diner where most people hadn’t realized what was happening. The ambulance didn’t have its lights on, no one had left yet. I was getting more sideways glances than the officials working outside.

  I nodded, the tears of before being replace by anger. “Someone covered the face with a jack o’ lantern. I thought it was a holiday decoration gone too far when I saw it. If it were just an accident, no one would do that.”

  “Who died?” Zee asked. “Do we know yet?”

  She’d come back to the booth with coffee for both Mattie and Zee.

  I shook my head in reply. I knew better than to disturb a body at a crime scene, and I had no desire to add a face to that terrible scene. It was already embedded into my memory.

  Zee messaged Carver and got a ‘butt out’ reply. Her gaze narrowed out the window and I followed her gaze. Simon and Carver were facing the diner, watching us. Zee raised a brow and Carver crossed his arms over his chest. He looked a little bit like a stubborn toddler. If he intended to deter Zee, he was failing miserably. Surely he knew by now that he was essentially daring her? Surely he knew that he’d just made a bed he’d have to live in. Knowing Carver he’d done it on purpose because there was some game he wanted to watch without Zee harassing him.

  My lips twitched, but I kept my thought to myself. I yawned, a jerking exhausted thing and Jane laughed at me, softly rubbing my back.

  “Too much emotion for our girl here. I bet Simon would thank us forever if we took her home.” Jane suggested, but her gaze was caught by her son in the diner.

  He met her gaze and came running out. He whispered into her ear.

  Jane pulled back and examined J.J.’s face. He’d regained some color, but he still looked upset. She shook her head. “Rose found a body in the alley, honey. You aren’t the reason why she’s crying and her injuries aren’t a big deal.”

  J.J. searched his mom’s face and then nodded. He glanced at me and said, “I really didn’t mean to hurt you, Miss Rose.”

  “You didn’t hurt me,” I promised. “You were there when I needed you.”

  He gulped and nodded and then whispered to his mom.

  “Only if you don’t try to peek at the crime scene.”

  J.J. crossed his finger over his chest.

  “Let me call your dad.” Jane left with J.J. and the other two turned to me. Zee’s gaze narrowed and Mattie looked concerned.

  Zee examined me as I yawned again and then told Mattie, “Simon will want us to stay with her if we take her home,” Zee said with a mean snort.

  “I can do that,” Mattie said. “Rose and Simon stock good wine and good snacks. I don’t mind putting up my feet at their place instead.”

  Zee rolled her eyes. “Normally somewhat protective Simon is downright suffocating these days. I feel like I can’t breathe just watching him hover over Rose.”

  “It’s adorable,” Mattie said, nudging me with her shoulder.

  I yawned and nodded while Zee scowled at the two of us and said, “Sickening.”

  “I guess that means Rose won’t be trying to help with this murder investigation,” Mattie said. She raised a brow at Zee who scowled at me. Her gaze moved from my yawning face, to my big baby belly, to the crime scene and back again.

  I shook my head. I wasn’t even tempted. I had enough burdens in my mind that colored my dreams from previous murder investigations. I had been handcuffed to a radiator and left in a house on fire. I had been attacked. I had been saved by dogs and certain I would die. I had lost my voice and damaged my lungs for months. I had experienced fear and horror, and it wasn’t a road I wanted to follow again. There was a reason my dream job had been to own a diner, not a cop or an FBI agent.

  Mattie grinned as Az placed a plate of food in front of her and dropped a kiss to her cheek. They’d been dating for a while now, and I loved everything about it. Az might not really be my brother, but he was as close as I’d ever get and one of my favorite people. Mattie was the first friend I’d made in Silver Falls outside of Simon. The fact that the two of them were dating was one of my favorite things.

  “I don’t want to help with those anymore. Was I even helping or just interfering?” I demanded.

  Zee snorted and said, “Yes. You help. You get people to talk to you and you figure things out. Carver and Simon just gather the evidence and record what you find out and do the paperwork. They’re like your secretaries.” She was being mean, but I knew she was mad at her fiancé.

  “But they would have figured things out,” I said. “We just side-stepped the appropriate process.”

  Zee rolled her eyes and said, “Let’s be real here. Simon would murder me and trap you in the house if you tried to interfere while hauling around his kid in that belly of yours.”

  I didn’t want to interfere. I didn’t want to be involved. I didn’t want that image in my head. I didn’t want to have anything to do with this stuff. We lived in Silver Falls for the love of goodness! We shouldn’t be having murders like this. We should be having rogue Halloween decorators, pumpkin carving contests, and an excess of candy. Not murder.

  I shuddered and left the diner, my plans for the day ruined. Mattie drove me and my purchases home and stayed with me. I fell asleep on the couch worn out from my hysterics and woke to Simon chatting with Mattie.

 
CHAPTER 4

  “It was Jerry Voe,” Simon told Mattie.

  He was speaking low and in the kitchen. I slowly stretched. I was almost hot. It took me a second to realize that my dog, Goliath, had somehow wormed onto the couch next to me. He was a great Dane and I wasn’t a small woman. Was he hanging half off the couch? If so, it might account for the nearly nasty look he gave me as I stretched again. If it was possible to be both upset and utterly loving at the same time.

  I nudged him a little, and he slowly stepped off the couch. Each move so slow and agonized, he made it seem as though I were electrocuting him instead of just trying to sit up.

  “Do I know him?” Mattie asked, her voice sounded quizzical, “I feel like I should know him.”

  “Oh my goodness,” I said, sitting up and yawning. They were standing not ten feet away in the kitchen while I had slept on the couch on the family room portion of our great room.

  I turned to face them. Their gazes were almost trepidatious. Which was fair. I had been pretty crazy earlier. Now, I felt like a new woman, but a foolish one. Why had I cried like that? After so many dead bodies, I had lost it on this one. A part of me knew it was because I was pregnant and my hormones were out of whack. It was the same reason I kept crying in commercials, but I was still feeling like a fool.

  “I know that name. That’s the produce guy for the diner. He runs DeVoe’s Produce with his friend, Henry Denson.”

  Simon nodded and said, “We spoke to Jerry’s mother. She was really broken up. Henry Denson was out of town today, so we weren’t able to talk to him. Jerry is divorced, but his ex-wife, brother, and sister live around here. The brother in Lincoln City, the sister and his ex here in Silver Falls. We haven’t had a chance to speak to them yet. Sheryl Voe is telling them he died.”

  “That poor woman,” I said. My voice cracked a little and the other two flinched.

  Simon waited to see if would cry, but when I didn’t, he said, “We’ll interview them once we get a handle on the details.”