Santa's Secret

by Heidi McLaughlin

  Shawna is staring out their big picture window when we pull up. Holly, once again, bolts from the truck before I have a chance to even shut it off. She’s inside and running around when I rap my knuckles on the door before stepping in.

  “In here,” Shelby yells out from her kitchen. I walk in with her poinsettia in one hand and Holly’s bag in another.

  “This is for you.” I present the red cellophane potted plant to her. Shelby steps forward, her hand touches mine and lingers there for a minute.

  “This is beautiful. I know the perfect place for it.” I follow her out of the kitchen and into the living room where she sets our gift down on her end table. Her tree catches my attention. It’s bare, other than a string of lights.

  “You don’t have any decorations on your tree.” I point out the obvious.

  Shelby giggles. “We’re decorating tonight.”

  “Oh, Holly will love that.”

  “Hopefully, you will too. I thought we could do it together.”

  It’s not very often I’m rendered speechless, but here I am, stunned into silence. Decorating a family tree should be something families do together. With that said, I know Delaney was there helping with mine, but I’ve known her for years and when we were younger I was often at the Du Luca’s and spent many holiday eves there. This though, screams relationship status and I’m not entirely comfortable with it.

  “Um…”

  “It’ll be fun and the girls will love it.”

  Think about Holly, I tell myself. “Yes, I’m sure they will. Speaking of, where should I put her bag?” I hold it up to show Shelby it’s still in my hand.

  “Follow me.” Shelby takes us to Shawna’s room where the girls are coloring. Holly doesn’t even notice I’m in the room, but does say hi to me. “The girls play so well together.” Shelby places one hand on my forearm and the other on my stomach.

  As casual as possible, I step away from her and go to Holly under the premise I want to see what she’s coloring. Delaney’s name is in the top right corner. The thought of Holly coloring something for Delaney brings a smile to face.

  “Dinner’s about ready, girls. Go wash up,” Shelby tells them. Both girls hop to it, chatting the whole way to the bathroom.

  “Do you need help?” I ask, trying to be polite.

  Shelby shakes her head. “Just make yourself at home, Aiden.”

  Home. It’s where I want to be right now, but instead I’m lingering near the bathroom door, using my daughter as an excuse so I’m not caught off guard by Shelby. I shouldn’t feel like this. Shelby’s a beautiful woman, but not the right one for me. Or maybe she is and I’m just too blind to see it? Would I be in a relationship with Shelby had Delaney not come back? The question weighs heavily on my mind as I trail behind the girls. Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer and it’s not like I can ask my best friend or sister for advice. Dominic will tease me relentlessly and Meredith will tell me to do the right thing and date Shelby. Not because she’s the safest option, but probably because she’s the only option. I’m a fool to think Delaney will ever be anything more than a friend.

  Twenty-Five

  Delaney

  I don’t know why I ever look at social media. There’s always something posted that will inevitably upset me. Today, it’s the post Shelby Whittensby made a few nights ago, showing the world aka Ramona Falls, a picture of her, her daughter, Holly and Aiden, posing together in front of her tree. I know it’s her tree because I had the privilege of decorating Aiden’s. Was it a privilege or did I invite myself to take part in something he was doing with his daughter because I wanted to be there? I’ve been asking myself this question ever since this picture was posted. I hate second-guessing myself as much as I hate the hashtags Shelby added to her post: family, Christmas and love.

  Love, really? Are they in love or does she just love the photo? It’s really hard to tell because his arm is around her and they look happy. So ridiculously happy, the sight of them makes my stomach hurt. She’s pretty and perfect for him, and I’m envious. Jealous because I thought Aiden and I had something and I’m bothered by his relationship with Shelby because we almost kissed, twice or was it three times? Was I misreading the situation or did he realize I’m no good for him so he’s doing what’s right for his family?

  “Will you stop looking at your phone?” Mindy hisses across the table. Calvin chuckles, but otherwise doesn’t say anything. The restaurant we’re in is full, and I’ve already been approached for autographs, which I signed of course, but refused to pose for pictures. I’d like to be left alone while on vacation, but being back home means I have to be a bit flexible.

  “I can’t help it, Min. Look at them!” I turn the screen so she can see the same picture I’ve been showing her non-stop since it appeared on her timeline. Mindy may be my best friend, but she liked the photo because it’s the nice “town” thing to do. “You should’ve used the mad emoji or something.”

  “You’re being petty.”

  I roll my eyes and take a sip of my wine. “I’m not.”

  “You are,” Calvin chimes in. “You’re not dating him and in a few weeks you’ll be back in California, forgetting everyone and everything in Ramona Falls. Let the man find a bit of happiness.”

  I glare at Calvin, hating the fact that he’s right. After Christmas, I have to go back, even though I intended to stay until the New Year. The director of my recent project has called for reshoots and since I conveniently didn’t leave the country, he was able to harass my agent enough, who insisted I return home to get them done.

  “Unless you’re telling us something else, D. Are you falling for Aiden Fisher?” Mindy’s eyes never leave mine as she takes a drink of her wine. I pick mine back up and finish it off, avoiding her question. Calvin laughs, and my kneejerk reaction is to kick him. Thankfully, no one can see under our table, otherwise I’d be all over social media for abusing my bodyguard.

  “I’m not saying anything.”

  “You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face.” Mindy’s wrong. I’m stoic when it comes to my emotions. I’ve learned over the years to hide them, especially from the paparazzi.

  Speaking of, the man a few tables away is staring. Each time I look over, he smiles and it takes me a minute to remember I’ve seen him before. I lean into Calvin and say as quietly as possible, “There’s a man two tables over to the left. He looks familiar and this is the second time I’ve seen him. Where do I know him from?”

  Calvin, being not the so subtle man he is, turns in his chair and looks. He’s not shy about lingering either or letting the man know he’s paying attention to him now. When Calvin turns back to the table, his face pales, which is saying a lot.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “He’s paps.”

  “What? Are you sure? What’s he doing here?” I make an ill-fated attempt at keeping my voice down, but to no avail. The people next to us are now looking. I smile, but know it comes off as a grimace.

  “Wait a minute, this is the guy from the lounge the other night. I remember him,” Mindy says. “He totally creeped you out, D.” I look again and nod because she’s right.

  “What do you mean?” Calvin asks. He looks from Mindy to me, except when he makes eye contact with me, he’s glaring. Oops. I suppose I should’ve told him.

  “I bought him a drink.” I hang my head, waiting for Calvin to rip into me. When he doesn’t, I glance at him, only to see him seething, trying to keep his temper in check.

  “Continue.”

  “Right, so you guys were at the hockey game and I went out with my mom, Mindy and Eileen. We went to New Hampshire to this cute lounge for some drinks. He was sitting at the bar when I went up to order a drink and I bought him one. He seemed nice, until he looked at me and I felt something off about him.”

  “You told me you’d stay home.”

  I reach over and place my hand on top of his. Calvin takes his job very seriously and had he known I was planning to
go out, he would’ve never gone with the guys and I didn’t want him to feel like he was just here to work. “I’m sorry. I know and I should’ve told you, but I honestly didn’t think anything of it. But now—”

  “But now, he’s showing up in other places because I saw him at the festival,” Mindy adds. Calvin grumbles something very profane and clenches his jaw. I need to help Mindy understand there’s a time and place to drop these kind of bombs. This is definitely not one of those times.

  “I can’t do my job, Delaney, if you’re not being honest with me. It’s one thing if you’re out with your dad, Dominic or Aiden, but when you’re vulnerable with no one to protect you—”

  “Hey!” Mindy yells loudly and punches Calvin in the shoulder. This proves to be a mistake since she’s shaking her hand out. “We wouldn’t let anything happen to her.”

  “But you wouldn’t know to protect her either from someone like him.”

  Calvin has a point. I never thought the paparazzi would show up here, let alone during the holidays when there are so many more important people to follow around Los Angeles or in some tropical destination. Who in their right mind visits the land of frozen trees, knee-deep snow and wind chill temperatures below twenty? I wouldn’t, not if my family didn’t live here.

  Calvin excuses himself and goes over to the man. I can’t tell what’s going on, by the way he’s standing, but I have a feeling my bodyguard is telling him exactly where he needs to be and it isn’t Ramona Falls. When he comes back, his shoulders are square and he’s pulling my chair out. “We’re leaving.”

  “Okay.” I know better than to argue with him. Mindy and I grab our things and she drops a few twenties down on the table to pay for our appetizer and drinks. “What about shopping?” I ask, hesitantly. Our plan today was to do some Christmas shopping. We only stopped to have lunch, which has turned out to be a complete failure.

  “If you insist, but take this warning to heart. I’m not going to leave your side.”

  “Duly noted.” I thread my arm into his as he leads me to the SUV. Behind me, Mindy is chuckling, at what, I don’t know. Maybe she finds it funny that he’s actually the boss. I suppose in a sense he is.

  Calvin dutifully drives Mindy and I to the outdoor mall. Of course, it’s snowing and we have to bundle up. As soon as Mindy and I see Starbucks, we head in for venti peppermint mochas. Calvin says he doesn’t want one, but ends up with his own regardless. Deep down, I know he loves them, but will never admit it.

  Outside, I spin in a circle with my arms spread out wide and my head tilted back. The white lights that connect from each building light the cobblestone walkway, casting the perfect holiday glow. “I love it here,” I say to anyone listening. “Don’t you?” I look at Calvin, who’s shaking his head. “Come on, Calvin. It’s December, Christmas is in the air and look at the storefronts, they’re beautiful, and the music… don’t you want to sing?”

  “No, Delaney. I want to go inside where it’s warm.”

  “Don’t be a scrooge.”

  “He’s right though, D. It’s cold. Come on, let’s shop. I have kids to buy for.”

  Grudgingly, I follow behind Calvin and Mindy as if I’ve been scolded. After making snow angels with Holly the other day, I’ve had a strong urge to play in the snow. Maybe I missed being home during winter more than I thought.

  Our first stop is this cute little kids’ store. It’s a place I’ve never been to before, but there’s a special little girl in my heart I want to shop for. Mindy gives me a look that I easily brush off. Each dress, tutu, leggings, every little girl item I pick up, I love, and they get added to the pile forming in Calvin’s arms.

  “You’re going overboard,” Mindy says as she hands me an outfit her daughter will like. I feel bad I haven’t spent anytime with her children yet, but I plan on it. The closer we get to Christmas the more I’ll be over at her house, celebrating with them.

  With one store down, we stop at another and so on. At each one, I find things Holly needs. Giant teddy bears, tiaras, dolls, every art supply possible. Everything I see, I pick up and hand to Calvin.

  “Are you sure Aiden will be okay with this?” he asks after the fifth, sixth or tenth store. We’ve been to so many now, I’ve lost count.

  “Why wouldn’t he be? I’m only picking up a few things.”

  “A few?” Mindy questions. “I think you’ve single-handedly helped each store meet their holiday quota for sales.”

  “I have not.”

  “You have. I’ve made three trips to the car already,” Calvin says.

  “What’s your point?”

  “Our…” Mindy scoffs and points back and forth between Calvin and her. “Point is, Aiden lives a really simple life since Heather died. Holly’s going to think everyone is like you, and the sad reality is, they’re not.”

  I understand what Mindy’s saying, but I don’t want to believe I’m doing anything wrong. The conclusion I come to, is Aiden needs the same treatment. He probably hasn’t bought himself anything new since his wife passed away. He’s so focused on Holly, he’s likely forgetting about himself.

  However, I do what my friends suggest and tone it down, even as I continue to shop. Everything I pick up, Mindy and Calvin shake their heads. I finally give up and start buying for my parents and Dominic. Everything Calvin likes, I sneak one in for him and Aiden too.

  On the drive home, I sit in the back and stare out the window, tuning the chatter between Calvin and Mindy out. I like the idea of making Holly and Aiden’s Christmas better. I have the means to do it, but I don’t want him to think I’m trying to come between him and Shelby.

  Calvin drops Mindy off at her house, helping her with her packages. I hug her goodbye, telling her I have the festival play this weekend, and she promises to be there. Mindy also reminds me about the policeman’s party on Friday night, telling me I should go. I don’t know if my presence would be such a good idea, but I don’t tell her that.

  Twenty-Six

  Aiden

  If you ever want to know where you stand with Delaney De Luca, don’t return or acknowledge her heartfelt text message. This is the mistake I’ve made, and I’m paying dearly for it. Holly isn’t though, since she sees Delaney every day and talks about her non-stop once she’s home from school. It’s pretty bad I have to get information about Delaney from my seven year old. The problem is, I don’t know what to say to Delaney and every time I’ve tried to approach her, she’s smiled politely and turned the other way.

  To top everything else off, Shelby posted a photo of us, indicating we are a couple, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I like her, but that’s it. My heart doesn’t race when she’s around, nor do my palms sweat or my skin feel like it’s about to jump off my body when she touches me. Those are all things I feel when I’m with Delaney. The worst part is I don’t know what to do about it.

  There isn’t much I can do, honestly. Delaney is leaving at the end of the month, and will go back to her life in California where she’s living her dream. I’ll be here, raising my daughter and struggling to make ends meet. I’m not jealous. I’m resentful. My life wasn’t supposed to be like this. I had everything. A beautiful wife and child, a good job, a happy home, and then someone or some force thought Heather and I could handle the unthinkable. We tried. We fought. We loved until the end.

  Now the thought of being in love again looms in front of me and I can’t take it. I can’t ask Delaney to move here and uprooting Holly is out of the question. My job is here. My parents and sister are here. In Los Angeles, we’d only have Delaney, when she’s there. That isn’t a lifestyle I want for my daughter.

  “Daddy, do you think you can call Laney and ask her to do my hair?” Holly stands before me. Tonight is the annual policeman’s holiday dinner and party. It’s always been a family oriented event with Santa and Mrs. Claus making an appearance to hand out toys to all the children.

  “Aunt Meredith said she’d be over to help.”

  Hol
ly shakes her head and juts out her lower lip. “I want Laney to do it.” She stomps her foot and crosses her arms over her chest.

  “I’m sorry, but Delaney is busy.” I hate that I’ve called her anything but her nickname, but I think I’m wise to separate myself from her. Besides, she’s made it clear we’re nothing more than friends.

  “But she promised.”

  I never want to call my daughter a liar, but I do question whether Delaney said this to her. “Maybe you misunderstood.”

  “I. Did. Not!”

  “Holly, I know you’re upset, but I’m sorry, Delaney isn’t coming over to do your hair. Aunt Meredith will though.”

  Holly screeches, like a wild banshee. She’s trying to push me over the edge into yelling at her. This is exactly what I knew would happen. Holly would become attached to Delaney, and not understand why Delaney can’t be around anytime Holly wants. I’m an adult and even I have a hard time comprehending why I can’t have my way when I want it.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You don’t want to see Santa and tell him what you want for Christmas?”

  “No. I want Delaney.”

  “You can’t have her.”

  “You’re a meanie.”

  I nod. “And you’re acting like a baby, so why don’t you go to your room and think about things. When you’re ready to talk to me with some respect we can have a conversation.” I point toward the hall, which only causes Holly to hold her breath so her face can turn red. Temper tantrums are the highlight of my parenting life.

  “I don’t like you right now, Daddy. You’re a giant meanie and you’re hurting my feelings.”

  “Yeah, well get in line, Holly. You’re not the only one who doesn’t like me. Now go. I need a minute to calm down.”