His fingers slipped underneath the spandex that stretched across her full breasts. He cupped her mounds of flesh in his palms, letting his thumbs work her nipples until they were thick and firmly erect. He had wanted to be gentle, it was his intention, but he lost himself in all that was Cara. Her soft curves, the way her body so willingly molded to his. She unleashed a desire in him that no one else ever had. He needed her naked, and needed it now. He pulled the sports bra over her head and balanced her breasts in his hands, choosing which one to devour first. His mouth clamped around her nipple inflicting a slow erotic torture.
He felt her hands slide into his boxer briefs and wrap around his hardened length. Christ she felt amazing. His hands closed around him and his mouth stilled over her puckered nipples, anticipating her next move. When she ran her fingers over the tip of his penis, softly he thought he’d explode. He forced himself to open his eyes and look into hers. She was chewing on her lip, and his mouth begged to suck on her lip and soothe it and that’s exactly what he did as she brought his briefs down his thighs, rocking her heat against him. He slid the scrap of material that covered her, and his finger slipped between her wet folds. He was pretty sure his eyes rolled behind his head as finger divulged in her heat. He slipped his finger out of her and held it up to her mouth. Eyes blazing, she slid her tongue up and down the length of his finger before closing her mouth around it and sucking on it. She extracted his finger from her mouth with a popping noise.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” He murmured as his lips slid down her neck, his teeth nipping along the way.
His hips reared up from the couch, pressing his engorged erection to entrance. He didn’t push into her, but just ran his cock along her entry. Her breath came out in little bursts as she braced her hands against his shoulders. She lifted her hips and without further ado slammed down onto his dick. He couldn’t move, he reveled in the amazing way the walls of her pussy clenched around him. He gripped her hips and rotated his hips before he lifted her off him and then dragged her wet heat around him again. He felt her lips against his collarbone before his teeth raked against the pulse in his neck. He hadn’t realized how sensitive his neck was, or maybe it was just her. She could tie him up in knots and he’d swear he was in heaven.
She ground her body onto him, taking him fully into her and the only noise that was heard was flesh slapping against flesh and their breathless pants. He watched as her head cocked to the side and she worked her body up and down him. If this was heaven, he’d sign the papers tomorrow, he thought.
“Oh God,” She moaned and dropped her head to his shoulder as she glided her clit against him. He could feel her begin to lose control, and so he arched himself and pumped into two solid thrusts before she began to writhe around.
“Give. Me. All. You. Got.” He spoke through gritted teeth. He thrust hard into her feeling her come around him, with his dick buried deep within her he growled her name and joined her in the combustion. His back sank into the plush cushions of the couch and he ran his hand down her back. She was draped around him, careful not to lean on his raw skin. Still buried inside her, he brought her torso into the crook of his arm and laid his head on top of hers. They laid like that catching their breath, completely tuned out to the world. Jake was in a state of bliss, yeah the glass was definitely full. How could anything be wrong when everything was so right?
Chapter Seventeen
As far as Jake was concerned, he was the ideal patient this week. He had done everything as Dr. Brooks ordered. He had made appointments for all the tests, and he even showed up for all of them. He was convinced it was all a huge waste of time, but he did it anyway. Nothing was going to bring him down and he laughed at doom in the face.
He stared at Dr. Brooks, he watched as his lips moved, but he couldn’t hear anything he said. Not one single word. Actually, that was a lie, he had heard one word, and after it was spoken everything else faded. He felt the air leave his lungs and his body go numb. He jumped as Dr. Brooks placed his hand on his shoulder, and he thought he jumped out of his own skin. He saw the look of empathy cross his face, as if Dr. Brooks was reading his thoughts and feeling his emotions. He shrugged his hand off his shoulder, and opened the door. Desperate to escape, he stormed out of the exam room, forgetting all about his brother who sat nervously in the waiting room. It didn’t matter that he was there for him, he needed to be alone. He needed to process one word that would change his life forever. One word that could, ultimately, take his life.
The fresh air smacked him in the face and bruised his lungs as his sneakers skidded to a halt on the pavement of the parking lot. He took deep breathes, his body trembled as he went through the motions. He needed to release the anger that was boiling inside him, the anger that forced him to question why him? His fist clenched beside him and he searched the parking lot frantically, he needed to inflict pain, the same pain that was flowing through him.
He turned around abruptly and raised his fist when he heard his name. Face to face with his brother, Luke grabbed Jake’s wrist before his knuckles collided with his jaw. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks and hated himself. He hated that he was weak enough to let the tears fall, weak enough to feel sorry for himself.
“You need to calm down.” Luke said, breathless. “You need to tell me what just happened in there.” His eyes pleading, and for the first time Jake saw fear and uncertainty reflect from his brother’s eyes. “Please. I want to help you, but I don’t know what just happened.”
He didn’t know why, but that moment looking at his brother who always had held it together, who had all the answers, looked back at him so lost, it broke his heart, shattered it into a million little pieces. It was Luke’s nature to fix things, he found the good in every bad situation, but there was no good to be found here. He raked his hands roughly down his face, wishing his brother wouldn’t look at him, wishing he could just disappear.
“Jake.” His voice was breaking, so he stopped and tried to hold it together. “What did Dr. Brooks tell you?”
Jake watched his brother, brace himself for the blow he was about to receive. “It’s cancer.” He bit the inside of his cheek and looked at his big brother through blurred eyes. “I have cancer.”
Luke stepped back, flinching as if Jake’s fist had really collided with his jaw, instead the impact of one word hurt him more than any fist could. He shook his head incredulously. “No.” He cleared his head. “You misunderstood. You heard him wrong. Let’s go back in there, I’ll talk to him. I’ll read the test results myself.”
A million little pieces, he repeated back to himself as he watched him. Jake shook his head.
“Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I didn’t misunderstand anything.” His own voice was unrecognizable.
He didn’t remember the last time he saw his brother’s eyes fill with tears, or look so scared. Worst of all he never saw his brother look helpless. “Well we’ll just get a second opinion, I mean there are specialists and we’ll go to Manhattan. We’ll go to one of those Cancer treatment centers.” The tears began to fall and Jake couldn’t stop his body from shaking, watching him fall apart in front of him tore through him.
“It’s going to be okay, alright? We’re going to get through this.”
Who, was he trying to convince me or himself, Jake wondered.
They stared at one another, their eyes red, the silence deafening and as if he was dying in front of him right then and there, Luke grabbed him and held onto him. Jake dropped his head to his shoulder and stained his brother’s shirt with his tears.
His whole existence his brother had always been there for him, the perfect role model, and the man he strived to be more like. He clutched to him, and wondered if he knew how much he meant to him. How much he’d miss him. He couldn’t help thinking he was going to die. He couldn’t be optimistic not when his entire world was just turned upside down by one word. Luke pulled away from him, and wiped at his cheeks roughly. He lifted his chin and forced Jake to look at him.
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br /> “You listen to me, and you listen to me good. I’m not going to pretend I know what to do right now, or how to ease what you’re feeling.” He took a deep breath. “We’ll get you the best care there is. We’ll pray. We’ll do whatever it takes. But you have to fight. You have to fight hard.” He looked up at the sky, begging the man upstairs for help. “God, I wish I could take your place.”
“Don’t say that.” Jake pleaded through his sobs.
“Promise me you’re going to fight? Please promise me.” His voice was barely audible and strained with emotion.
“I promise you.” He said automated. The truth was, he had no idea how to fight, not this. He didn’t know if he would be capable.
“Cara.” Luke whispered.
He stopped crying, he wasn’t sure if he was even breathing when he heard her name. He envisioned her face, her smile, and subconsciously his hand fell to his chest, covering the piece of her he would always have. “No, we can’t tell her. Luke you cannot say a word to Cara, do you hear me?”
Luke’s eyes widened and then he tried to rationalize. “Jake you can’t hide this from her.”
“I have too.” He grabbed fistfuls of Luke’s shirt in his hands and dragged him forcefully towards him. “You keep your mouth shut, you hear me? If, I mean anything to you and if you really want to help me, you do not say a word to Cara.” He looked at his hands and how they seemed to strangle the cotton of his brother’s shirt and released. He took a step back, appalled at how he manhandled him. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face angrily, frustrated beyond measure, confused to the point of no return. “This is going to destroy her. It’ll break her.” He croaked.
The vision of her face danced in front of him and he threw his head back and tried to shake it. He tried to shake all the emotions running wild within him. “I’m all she has. It’s not fair.” He cried.
“That’s not true. She has all of us. She always did and always will.” He was struggling to make things right for him.
It didn’t matter; he knew how Cara perceived things better than anyone. She was finally happy, they both were, and he had promised to always make her happy, always be there for her, to never leave her alone, he would be going back on his word. The one person, who was never supposed to dishonor his word to her, was the one that would end up hurting her the most, and the sickest part of it, was that he had no control over it. He’d crush her when all he ever wanted to do was love her for the rest of their lives.
What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t hide cancer. He had no idea what he was in store for, what treatment he would need or where he’d need to go to get it. He could break up with her; tell her she never meant anything to him. Push her away and break both of their hearts, it was inevitable anyway. If he died, she’d be broken. He would just give her an out. She was young and vibrant and didn’t need to be saddled down with a dying man. She deserved to enjoy her life and fulfill her dreams.
She deserved to be loved and to be worshipped, and he couldn’t do that from a hospital bed. Or could he? She would hate him if he lied to her. If he pushed her away and never told her, she’d never forgive him. He wasn’t God, and didn’t like the choice of living or dying being taken from him, and he wasn’t going to take her choice away to love him or leave him. No he’d tell her. He’d let her decide what she wanted, but not now. He couldn’t face her right now.
“I’ll tell her, but not until we know more. Not until I see the oncologist and know all the facts.” He cemented his decision by verbally committing to the words.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“It’s what’s best. She’s going to lose it Luke, and if it’s not as bad as I’m thinking I don’t want to put her through that.”
Luke just nodded and he shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Take me home.” Jake whispered.
“I don’t think you should be alone.”
He turned and strode to Luke’s car, once he reached the passenger seat door, he looked over his shoulder at his brother and shook his head slightly. “Take me home, to mom and dad.”
They looked at one another, and Luke nodded sadly, knowing very well that they were about to shatter their parent’s world and break their hearts.
“Call Sam and tell her to meet us there. That we only have to do it once.” He said with absolutely no emotion in his voice whatsoever. He climbed into the car and sank into the seat. He was drained physically and emotionally. One word, one word could change a person’s entire life.
Cara couldn’t help but keep staring at her phone as if she was willing it to ring. She hadn’t heard from Jake in hours, and not for lack of trying. The last time she checked she had called him fifteen times and the last couple of those calls had gone straight to voicemail. She tried the tattoo parlor, but Pete told her he never came in today. She had a sickening feeling deep within, that something was wrong. In between re-stocking the bar and tending to the few stragglers that had come into the bar, she had called the Lanza’s. No answer from any of them. She glanced at the clock. She had told herself an hour ago, that if she didn’t hear from any of them she was leaving work to go in search of them.
The front door opened and she turned, praying it was Jake, but her shoulder slumped when she saw Nick. As he made his way towards her, she couldn’t help the dread that lurked inside her. Had someone sent him to break some sort of bad news to her? She stared at him, trying to read his expression. He must’ve been at Lanza Automotive all day, he had grease stains on his shirt and his jeans. His hair was mussed from his fingers, and she watched him drag them through, what she could only imagine was the umpteenth time. He leaned against the bar and gave her the same assessing look, she had given him.
“What’s the matter?” She choked out, her hands braced on the bar, waiting.
Nick shook his head let out a deep breath. “So you haven’t heard from them either? Great.” He said sullenly. “Let’s go.”
Startled and confused she looked up at him. “Go where?”
“Where else? Deb and Joe’s. We’ll start there.”
She nodded quickly. “Alright let me just tell Rudy I’m leaving.” She had never been so relieved to see Nick in her life. Not sure if relief was what she should be feeling, especially knowing he was just as concerned as she. She grabbed her pocketbook and quickly told Rudy she had an emergency. When she made her way back towards the bar, Nick was half way out the door. They got into his car, and he peeled out of the lot.
“What do you think is the matter?” Cara said, and realized she was afraid to hear the answer. A thousand dark thoughts ran in her head. Had something happened to one of them? Was it Jake?
“I don’t know. Luke never came to work. Sam left work early and signed Ava out of school.”
“How do you know?”
“No one’s answering their phones, so I called the school.” He said as he drove, his knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel.
“Jake didn’t go to work either.” She said with no emotion in her voice, she was beginning to realize that whatever was going on at the Lanza’s screamed disaster.
“I know.” He said and then glanced at her briefly before directing his eyes back to the road in front of him.
“Why wouldn’t they have called us?” She wondered aloud. When anything had ever gone on with the family, whether good or bad, Cara had always been included and when Nick had been around, so had he.
“I have no idea.” He said as he pulled into the driveway. Cara took notice that everyone’s car except for Jake’s was there. She felt the bile begin to rise and she thought she threw up in her mouth.
“It’s Jake.” She whispered, feeling her heart beating frantically. Nick was out of the car before she even had her seatbelt off, and didn’t hear her. She slammed the door and watched Nick bang on the front door with his fist. When she finally caught up to Nick, the door swung open and Luke stood in front of them.
Cara began to tremble once she caught Luke’s gaze.
His eyes were bloodshot, and she knew he had been crying. He tore his gaze from her and sighed heavily, as if she was the last person he wanted to see right now. She felt like crying, just by the look he gave her.
“Luke, what’s going on?” Nick asked, worry and dread in his voice.
Luke stared at him for a moment, trying to find his voice and then he looked over Nick’s shoulder and his eyes met Cara’s momentarily. He pulled Nick closer to him and whispered so that Cara had to strain to hear.
“You got to get her out of here.”
Nick stood still, not saying a word. He looked at Luke, who nodded, as if there was some sort of code that only the two of them knew.
“Luke, where’s Jake?” Cara demanded, her patience was running out rapidly. Nick turned around and faced her, taking her arm.
“Come on, this was a bad idea.” Nick said, and she looked up at him incredulously. Her veins throbbed with anger and she smacked Nick’s hands away.
“Get off of me.” She pushed passed him and stood in front of Luke, who was about to close the door. She stuck her foot out in the door jamb and stared up at him, eyes blazing with fury. “I’m going to say it one more time. Where is Jake?”
“Cara.” He whispered. She looked up at him, and could see he was struggling. She felt Nick’s arms wrap around her from behind her.
“Don’t!” She yelled and viciously tore his hands off of her. She slammed her hands against Luke’s chest and he stumbled back. “JAKE?” She hollered, from the doorway. Luke grabbed her wrist. “I said get off of me!” She spat.
“Cara, listen to me!” Luke yelled and she looked at him shocked. “You need to leave. He will call you, I promise. But right you need to let him be.”
She felt the tears slide down her cheeks, and she hadn’t realized that her eyes had even been full. She wanted to tear his heart out, just as he was tearing hers out. “I’m not going anywhere until I see Jake, and then he can throw me out. But you, no I don’t answer to you.”
Pieces (Riverdale #1) Page 17
