She knew there wasn’t an age bracket that anyone could get it, but she had just never expected it. No one was invincible, she supposed not even the strongest of warriors. She was scared, she’d never admit. Not to anyone. He needed her to be strong, and to stand by him. She wanted him to know that no matter what, she would never desert him in this fight. She wouldn’t let her fears, enable her to care for the man she loved. But when she laid her head on her pillow each night, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d make it. It was one thing to believe, to will him to fight, but all the fighting in the world may not help. She may still lose him, and the mere thought ripped her heart out of her chest, and crumbled it. One thing she did know, that if that was the case, they were going to live each and every day of this life with no regrets. And when all this was over, if God still called for Jake, only then would she allow herself to break.
She lifted her eyes as the door opened and Deb’s head popped in. “How’s he doing?” She whispered, slipping as quietly as possible into the room.
“He dozed off about an hour ago. So far his only complaint was he was tired. Up until he fell asleep he was joking around with the nurses. I think he may have set Luke up on a couple of dates.” She laughed slightly and watched as Deb smiled down at her sleeping son.
Her eyes turned and studied Cara. “Why don’t you go stretch your legs a bit? Nick just came and he brought everyone coffee.”
Cara looked at Deb, and nodded. She really didn’t want to leave his side, but the coffee sounded mouthwatering. Besides, Deb probably wanted to sit with her son, which Cara completely understood. “That sounds good. Will you get me if he wakes up?”
“Of course, sweetie.” Deb smiled at her and watched as Cara leaned down and pressed her lips ever so lightly against Jake’s forehead. “Cara?”
“Yeah?” She said, standing to her full height.
“Thank you.” She let out a breath and fanned her eyes with her hand to stop her tears. “Without you, I don’t know if any of us would have found the strength to put our fears behind us and concentrate on Jake’s treatment.”
Cara stared at Deb for a moment before she spoke. “Jake is my world, and you guys are right up there with him. After all you’ve done for me, strength is the least I can do.” She glanced at Jake and then back at her. “You’ve both held me up through my weakest times. So really, no thanks are ever required.”
Deb walked around the bed and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly. “I love you Cara and I’m so happy you and my son found one another all these years ago.”
Cara gave her a tight squeeze, before she untangled herself from Deb’s death grip. She laughed slightly, and nodded for her to sit in the chair she had occupied for the last three hours. She stepped out of the room quietly, and leaned against the door. She took a deep breath, gathered her strength and her bravery, before making her way to the rest of the family.
It was easy to spot them, they were all wearing the black and lime green shirts she had bought them, as they sat around the tiny waiting room. Sam and Joe were huddled together, playing with Joe’s new I Phone. Luke and Nick sat across from them; both of them looked at the father and daughter amused. She stepped towards them.
“What’s going on?” She asked Luke and Nick, motioning to Sam and Joe, who were completely oblivious to their surroundings. Joe’s glasses were on and he was still squinting at the screen.
“Well, my darling sister thought it would be a good idea to set my father up with a Twitter account.” Jake said blandly.
Cara looked at him incredulously, then back to Sam and Joe. Joe didn’t know the first thing about electronics, never mind social media. He had gone to half a dozen classes, just to learn the simple basics in working the phone.
Joe glanced up from the screen, and smiled at Cara. “I just tweeted.”
She couldn’t tell if it was the grin on his face or the mere fact that Joe actually composed a tweet, but she burst out laughing.
“He doesn’t have any followers though.” Sam pointed out, holding back her laughter.
“So you popped his cherry and no one will ever know.” Nick said amused, and Cara laughed harder.
“Do you do the twitter Cara?” Joe asked as he moved his glasses further on top of his nose. “If so, friend me or follow me? Which is it?” He looked at Sam, for help.
“Follow. See how you’re following Derek Jeter, and all his tweets show up in your timeline? If someone follows you they will see everything you tweet on theirs.”
Joe nodded, and then looked up at Cara, shrugging, giving her the I-have-no-idea-what-the-girls-talking-about look.
“I’m sorry Joe, but I don’t tweet.” She winked at him and sat in a chair beside Luke.
“Would you like some coffee?” He asked her.
“I’ve got it. Thanks.” She said, leaning over the coffee table, and fixing one of the empty cups that Nick had brought them. Since the day she had found out about Jake, things were a bit strained between her and Luke. Not that anyone would be able to notice, but she did and she was sure he did too. She didn’t like that he thought he could dismiss her, and keep her in the dark about Jake’s illness. It didn’t matter to her whether it had been his idea or Jake’s, she thought they had an understanding that night at the track, she thought they were together on getting Jake well. Clearly, she had misread their understanding.
She sat back against the chair and took a long sip of the coffee.
“How is he doing?” Nick said, leaning forward, and glancing at her across Luke.
“He’s good, just exhausted.” She smiled at him. “Thanks for the coffee.”
Nick smiled in return, and fingered his shirt. “Thanks for the shirt. Hey, I stopped by my apartment and saw Rudy. He told me to let you know that he covered your shifts for the rest of the week.”
Sam looked up as Nick spoke. ‘Cara between all of us, he won’t be alone so if you have to go to work, don’t worry.”
“I know that, I just wanted to be with him this week. I mean none of us really know how his body is going to react.” Cara said as she took another sip of her coffee.
“My son’s a lucky man.” Joe said, pausing from his Twitter tutorial to sing Cara’s praise. He winked at her and then looked back at his phone. “Don’t tell your mother, but I just followed Sports Illustrated.” He said and nudged Sam.
“You did what?” They all turned at the sound of Deb’s voice. Her eyes were firmly planted on her husbands.
“How’s the boy?” He said, dodging her interrogation.
“He’s awake; Dr. Capernick said we could all go in. He’s doing excellent so far.”
They all rose quickly to their feet, and shuffled their feet to see who would make it to Jake’s room first. When the doctor opened the door, the lot of them basically fell through the open door.
“Well, looks like your team is here.” Dr. Capernick said before looking over his shoulder and smiling at Jake.
Jake smiled, still obviously groggy. “Hey guys.”
The doctor stepped back and allowed them all to file into his room. “His vitals are good, and we’ve finished administering his first dose. We’ll continue to monitor him for a few days before he goes home.
Cara smiled as she made her way to his bedside. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.
“I’m proud of you.” She said reassuringly and kissed his hand.
“Thank you so much doctor.” Deb said. “You’re taking such good care of our boy.”
“He’s surprisingly a good patient. I’ll give you guys some time.” He said before seeing himself out of the room.
“How do you feel?” Sam asked as she leaned down and kissed his cheek.
“Like a million bucks.” Jake quipped, but he obviously didn’t. His voice was tired and he looked awfully drained.
“Guess what?” She tried to sound hyped. “Dad’s got Twitter.”
Jake laughed and his eyes roamed the room to his fathers. “Really?”
<
br /> “Yeah, but no one follows me.” Joe cracked, pulling up a chair and taking a seat.
Jake looked over at Nick. “Thanks for coming, man.”
“Are you kidding me? Where else would I be?” He brought his finger to his lips, signaling everyone to not give him up, as he moved behind Sam and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Especially with your sister camped out here.” He nuzzled her hair, and she jumped so quickly.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She spat, removing his hands from her waist.
“What kind of shampoo do you use?” He said, savoring the scent.
“None of your business. Take a hike.” She flipped her hair in his face and he held his heart, cracking a smile over her shoulder at Jake.
“Cut the guy some slack, Sam.” Jake said, closing his eyes briefly. “One day he’ll stop teasing you and you’re going to miss it.”
“Never.” She insisted.
“Never will I stop or never will you miss it.” Nick asked from behind her and she looked over her shoulder at him.
“Does it matter?” She asked and he didn’t answer her, just stared at her.
“Did anyone call Pete, and see how my business is? I can’t let Riverdale Ink rot while I lay here.” Jake said.
“I did. Pete says everything is under control. Don’t worry about the shop we’ll take care of it. You just get your rest.” Luke said sincerely.
“You want me to get you the pot?” Joe asked from his seat. All eyes wandered to him, and Jake chuckled.
“Joe!” Deb shouted outraged.
“What? Like you don’t know they did the pot back in the day? At least now he has a reason!” He argued innocently, then looked at Jake and raised one brow, telepathically sending the question to him again.
“Thanks Dad, but I’m good.” Jake said as he laughed.
“Open offer, if you need it. I know a guy.” His father said very nonchalantly.
“You know a guy?” Deb asked him as if the concept was completely absurd.
“You know what? You guys have had a really long day. Why don’t we go to the cafeteria and get you guy’s something to eat?” Sam offered, trying to defuse the tension. Joe jumped up at the sound of food.
“We’ll be back.” Sam said, and looped one arm around Joe’s and the other around Deb’s.
“I’ll go along with you.” Nick said, following Joe, not giving Sam a chance to deny him.
“Are you sure you don’t need us?” Deb asked over her shoulder, as Sam tried to usher her out.
“Are you going to offer me pot too?” Jake asked teasingly and watched as Sam dragged their parents out of the room.
“You better get your ass better, they’re driving us nuts.” Luke said and sat on the foot of his bed.
“Have you been here all day?” Jake asked his brother and Luke simply shrugged. “Go home Luke, I’m fine. Ava needs you. She doesn’t get what’s going on. So go spend some time with her and give her a kiss from her favorite uncle.”
Luke looked at him for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“I’m positive. Besides, you’re the only one left here and I can’t convince my sweetheart to get naughty in my hospital bed with you standing right there.” Cara blushed even though they all knew Jake was kidding. He was too exhausted to lift his head much less attempt to do anything else.
“Okay. I’ll leave you to it then.” Luke said and stood up. He looked at Cara. “If you guys need anything, just call me.” She nodded, but didn’t take her eyes off of Jake.
Jake waited until Luke left the room before he looked at Cara, mustering up a smile. “You’re awfully quiet, second thoughts?”
“Never.” She said taken back. “That’s the last time you get to ask me that, you got that?” She demanded, and he smiled.
“Okay.” He tried a different angle. “You can’t be mad at Luke forever. He was only doing what I stupidly asked of him.”
“I’m not mad at Luke.” She said as she sat on the edge of his bed, and he scooted over giving her room.
“If you say so.” He said as he reached up and touched her cheek. “Will you lay down with me?”
“I’d do anything for you.” She whispered, and did as he requested. She lay beside him, nestled in the crook of his arm. “You did it baby, you took the first step.” She said as she laced her fingers with his.
He closed his eyes and rested his head on top of hers. “Because of you. With you in my corner, I feel like I can do anything.” He barely finished his sentence, as his breathing became labored. Cara knew he was fast asleep, just by the way his breathing changed. She sighed heavily, and laid her head to his chest. She let the sound of his heart beating be the lullaby that lulled her to sleep.
Chapter Nineteen
Jake leaned over the side of the bed, throwing his guts up into a bedpan. Cara was sitting on the bed holding the bedpan with one hand and caressing his back with the other. He had been home one week, since his first dose of chemotherapy. While he had been in the hospital, his parents had moved all his belongings back into their house, and gave his landlord notice that he would be moving. They claimed that it would be easier for everyone to care for him, if everyone was in one house, he’d never be alone. Cara even moved in, and now they shared the basement of his parent’s home. Nick and Jake took turns running their business as well as Riverdale Ink. Sam made it her duty to be Jake’s personal nutritionist. Which was pretty humorous considering she usually burnt toast, but he had to give her credit, she made a mean smoothie and could work a juicer like it was nobody’s business. So many changes were taking place on his behalf, and in the darkest of days he felt he was blessed.
Jake didn’t understand what the point of coming home to rest was. He felt worse since he had been discharged. He was beginning to feel like he was knocking on death’s door, and couldn’t fathom what the second dose of chemo would do to him. He lifted his head, and felt the room spin. He didn’t know what he was throwing up at this point, he hadn’t been able to hold anything down. Every smoothie, every morsel of food, he would regurgitate.
Cara continued to caress his back with one hand. “Do you have to let more out?” She asked, there wasn’t a hint of agitation in her voice. He managed to shake his head. “I’m going to the bathroom to flush this, I’ll be right back.”
She took the bed pan and went into the bathroom that was attached to their now make shift bedroom, emptying its contents before flushing it. She threw the bedpan into the bathtub and poured some Lysol into it before soaking it in water. She was accustomed to this routine, and managed to hustle. She grabbed a towel off the rack on the wall and dampened it with some cold water. She wrung it out before heading back to Jake who was struggling to sit up on the bed.
“Wait. Let me help you.” She stammered, and tripped over her own two feet as she hurried to get to him. She caught herself before she fell.
“Cara stop, please!” Jake begged. He couldn’t take it anymore. He knew he looked like shit, but my God, so did she. She had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. Her hair looked like she hadn’t brought a comb through it in days, and he was pretty sure she had worn the same thing for the last two days. She froze like a statue, at his tone and he wanted to kick himself. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled.
“It’s fine.” She forced her feet to take the steps that were needed to close the distance between them and pressed the cool compress to his forehead. “Do you want to try and shower, maybe you will feel better? I will help you.”
He looked at her for a moment, and pulled the compress from his head. He threw it onto the night table and took her hand. “I’m okay, baby. Please I need you to do something for yourself.”
“There’s nothing I need to do for myself.”
“Cara, you look like you haven’t slept in days. I can’t even run my fingers through your hair because they’ll get stuck.” He said softly and squeezed her hand with as much strength as he could muster up.
She looked as if
he had just struck her with his hand, and he closed his eyes. He didn’t mean to hurt her feelings, she had been incredible the last couple of weeks. He couldn’t have asked for a better woman to be by his side, but she was so wrapped up in caring for him that she was letting herself fall apart. What scared Jake most was that she didn’t even realize it. Gone was the beautiful vibrant Cara, and it was all, his fault. He may be the one to die ultimately, but she was the one dying on the inside.
Jake opened his eyes and stared into her hazel eyes. “I love you, Cara and you’ve been incredible, but I need you to take time out for yourself.”
“If I’m too overbearing, I’ll stop. I just want to make you comfortable. I’ll give you some space.” She rambled on.
“No, you’ve been wonderful. Please I’m not saying any of that.” He paused and debated on whether or not to admit everything freely. She hated when he spoke pessimistically, but the truth needed to be spoken. “Cara we don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I’m fighting with everything in me to kick this, but we both know I might not make it.” His voice was hoarse but he held a firm ground as he spoke. Her eyes began to water instantly as the dread reared its ugly head. “I might be on borrowed time right now, and each day I’m given is a gift. I want you and me to live each day like it’s the last one we’ll have. I don’t want to die watching your spirit die right along with me.”
She covered her face with her hands and he heard her sob. He leaned forward, finding a new found strength and took her hands delicately in his. Her head lifted and she looked up at him, tears streaming her face. “Please don’t talk like that. Please don’t talk like you’re dying.” She pleaded.
“But I might be.” He said honestly. “And that’s something we have to face.” He tucked a strand of her wild hair behind her ear. “I’m not giving up, but we both know I don’t have control over the end result.”
Pieces (Riverdale #1) Page 19
