by Natavia
He could’ve been telling the truth but it was too late. I was making example for them fuck boys who even think about trying us. Twan must be out of his mind to think I would let him breathe after this. I ignored him and chopped off his other forearm.
“Shoot me! I can’t take it,” he cried.
Blood was everywhere but that didn’t stop me. I hacked both of his legs off. The sound of cartilage being chopped through was sickening. It sounded similar to wood being chopped.
Killa threw up again. “Stop! I can’t take this shit, man,” he said bent over heaving.
No one would ever understand the dark places my mind wonders off to sometimes. I’m no longer Corey when I get angry. I’m almost someone I don’t even know. That’s how I know I loved Tee-Tee more than anything. She made me mad to the point I could’ve snapped on her but I didn’t. The love I have for my sister is what kept Ashaun alive. I cannot and will not hurt the ones I love. Does that still make me a monster?
I was past angry I was a fucking ticking time bomb. My brother practically raised me. Royal being shot hurt me more than anything. I was temporarily the nigga in charge and these fuck boys are going fall back because a nigga like me don’t give a fuck about someone else’s life.
Twan was no longer conscious but he was still breathing. I felt his pulse and it was weakening.
“Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you? Now you’re checking his pulse and shit. You think we’re playing Operation, nigga? I haven’t played that game since I was five,” Killa fussed.
“Nigga, will you shut the fuck up? You act like you haven’t seen this shit before,” I snapped.
“Put this nigga out his misery so we can go,” he responded.
“At your command.”
I stood behind Twan and held up his dreads. . A few strong hacks of my blade took his head clean off. I held his head up.
“Get his phone and take a picture of this shit. Send it to everyone in his phone. Let them niggas know that whoever is affiliated with Koran is dead.”
Once Killa was done, I threw his head into the wall. It bounced off then rolled down the floor and landed by his feet. He threw up again. This time he couldn’t stop.
“Nigga, are you coming down with something?” I asked.
“Leave me the fuck alone. I’m not coming along with you anymore. I told you to shoot the nigga. Now look at his ass. That motherfucker was over six feet tall! Now that motherfucker looks like a pot roast. You’re not right, nigga. Get checked out for real, man.”
I laughed him off. He was my right hand. He said that shit every time and always ended up tagging along. I changed into some fresh clothes then burned my bloody clothes. An hour later, I dropped Killa off then headed home.
We copped a new crib. It was a stone and timber ranch style mansion. The land was perfect for dirt bike riding. I walked into the crib. Rashaad, Tee-Tee’s brother, was playing Madden14. Rashaad was fourteen and Raymond was twelve. Raymond was the schoolboy with perfect manners and a straight A student. Rashaad was a hothead. I could see his future already. Rashaad was going to either end up dead or in jail. He may act hard but he wasn’t busting a grape in a fruit fight.
Rashaad hooks school and smoke more weed than I do. He took advantage of his sister but he wasn’t going to try that shit with me.
“Ay, lil nigga, what the fuck are you doing up?” I asked.
It was four in the morning and school was a few hours away. I knew this nigga had to been sitting up all night playing the game. He ignored me and continued to play the game. I snatched his controller from him and unplugged his Playstation4.
“Fuck is wrong with you?” he grilled me.
“Look here, motherfucker, there are rules in this bitch. I’m not Tee-Tee. You ain’t goin’ to bitch me in my own fucking crib. Ten o’clock is bedtime on school nights. Raymond is sleep and your slow ass need to be sleep too. I let you get away with a whole lot of shit considering you lost your parents But that shit is old now. Get over it. You don’t pay bills in this motherfucker. Keep testing my gangsta and watch how I stick foot up your ass.”
He laughed at me. “You’re only six years older than me. I’m not scared of your bitch ass. You’re not even old enough to be my damn daddy. Fuck outta here with that bullshit.”
I body slammed his chubby ass and knocked the wind out of him. I took my Gucci belt off and whipped this fat nigga’s ass. He screamed and cried for his sister. She came running into the living room and began swinging on me. I shouldn’t have to deal with this shit. I’m too young. I’m not even old enough to buy a drink from the liquor store even though I do anyway.
“Get the fuck off of him!” Tee-Tee screamed. He had snot and tears running down his face. I whipped out every little bit of gangsta that he thought he had in him.
“What are you doing to my brother?”
“Look, shorty, I’m tired. I had a long ass day and I come home to this fat nigga disrespecting me in my own damn house. He’s up playing the game on a school night. Then he bucked on me like I’m one of his friends. He should be lucky his bitch ass is not in a group home. This nigga needs an after school job. He stays fresh and can’t even respect the people who are taking care of him. From now on, you are not buying him shit. He needs to do better in school. Don’t think I don’t know about him bringing them little THOTS up in the crib. The only ones who should be fucking in here are us. And tell him to lay off of the Twinkies and shit. I body slammed his big ass and now my fucking back hurts.”
I grilled Rashaad. “Take your ass to your room and start getting ready for school. I’m popping up from now on to see how you’re doing in class. If your teacher tells me you are still cutting up, I’m sticking my foot up your ass in front of everybody. I might be out here in the streets but I was an honor student who finished school. Can’t anyone tell me I’m a dumb ass nigga.”
He practically ran to his room. I knew he was out of breath from that short distance.
“Your fat ass is going on a diet too. Call yourself being a fat gangsta. How the fuck is your big ass going to run from the police? As a matter of fact, I already know you’re not. You going to sit back and snitch wit’ yo’ lil bitch ass! If they offered your ass a donut, you would probably sing like a canary. Buck on me again and watch how I beat eighty pounds off of your chubby ass!” I yelled. I can’t believe that bitch bucked up on me!
I went into the fridge to get a Corona. I needed something to calm my nerves before I fed his big ass to my piranhas. They would enjoy that meal.
“I’m sorry, babe,” Tee-Tee said, rubbing my shoulders.
Damn that felt good. I turned around and hugged her, gripping her thick ass cheeks. Tee-Tee has gotten PHAT. She had wide hips, big breasts, and thick thighs. Coren did her body good. She definitely filled her silk negligee out.
“You’re good. I’m trying to make sure this family is straight, including your brothers.”
I went into Coren’s nursery. She was now three weeks old. She woke up around this time for a bottle. I sat in her rocking chair while I fed her. If someone ever brings any harm to my baby girl, I would lose my mind. She was daddy’s girl, my pride and joy. After she was done, I burped her and changed her. I kissed her on the forehead after I laid her down then watched her fall asleep.
I went into our bedroom. Tee-Tee was stretched out in our California king canopy bed. The fire from the fireplace flickered off her smooth chocolate skin.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Tee. My brother has been in a coma for a month and Koran is missing. This whole situation is stressing me out.” For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do.
“I’m going to run you some bath water,” she said.
I’ve been so busy trying find Koran that I haven’t had a chance to enjoy our new home. I know he did it. Now, all of a sudden, the nigga is hiding and shit. If he wasn’t guilty, he had no reason to be hiding.
Tee-Tee talked me into getting a whirlpool bathtub. It had two headrests
and nine whirlpool jets. I see why she was so addicted to this thing. I never felt so relaxed.
Tee-Tee sat behind me. My head rested between her legs. She took the handheld showerhead and wet my hair. She lathered my dreads up with some cocoa butter shampoo and massaged it into my scalp. I leaned my head all the way back. This is why I loved this woman so much. She knew how to be there for me when I was down.
After my bath, I dried off then got into bed. She slid in beside me. Her head rested on my chest. I pulled her in closer by her waist. She kissed my chin.
“I love you and whenever you are down I am here for you,” she said.
I kissed her lips. “I love you too, shorty.”
She dozed off a few moments later. I was tired but I couldn’t go to sleep. I was wide-awake. My mind was going into overdrive. I needed answers and I needed them soon or else there was going to be more deaths than this city had ever seen.
At first, I thought it was Ashaun, but that bitch nigga had an alibi that checked out. Besides, Ashaun wasn’t a dumb nigga. I would’ve merked his whole damn family.
Pam
He made love to me like I was the last woman on earth. Every part of my body had not been untouched. This man was everything to me and more. This secret affair has been going on for four years. His olive skin, thick wavy hair, sky blue eyes, and chiseled body had me sprung. He was in great shape for a forty-eight year old man. He had a tattoo on his neck of Cuba with the words, Patria O Muerte Venceremos, which means “Homeland or Death we shall overcome.”
I have fallen in love with this man. I never thought I could love again after my husband died. After watching him suffer from cancer, my heart couldn’t take more pain dealing with another man. All that changed when I met him. Royal introduced us four years ago. He came during a family dinner that I been putting together every Sunday since their father died. The chemistry was strong as soon as our eyes met. I’m surprised it went unnoticed. A few days later, he contacted me and we’ve been in contact ever since.
I cuddled against him with tears streaming down my face. I was going to tell my kids about my affair but I put that announcement on hold because I was hit with terrible news. As soon my feet touched Maryland’s ground from my vacation, I got a call that my oldest son had been shot. Royal is still fighting for his life and I don’t think I will be able to live if he dies.
He kissed my tears away. I’m not just crying for my child but for my husband also. I feel guilty because I love this man more than I have ever loved my children’s father. I loved Terrance. We were high school sweethearts. We married right after we graduated. A few years later, I had Royal. A few years after that I had Jamie then Corey came. We moved so quickly that we never had the fun that young couples should experience. My children are older now and I can enjoy life like I’m young and free again.
Royal tried filling his father shoes at a young age. He couldn’t enjoy his teenage years because we were close to losing our house. I worked but it still wasn’t enough for three young children. My pride was crushed when I start accepting his drug money. It was either that or live in the streets. I could’ve stayed with Vera but I didn’t want to crowd her space. I was determined to not get help from anyone else. Why does it seem like I have failed my kids? I burst into tears because I’m responsible for Royal feeling the need to turn to the street life he can’t leave alone.
“It’s okay, Pam. he is a strong boy. He will pull through. I got the best doctors in my country to care for him,” he said in his strong accent.
Royal was now in Cuba on a private estate. Cam went with him .I love that darn girl and I couldn’t ask for a better woman for my son. I always had a feeling they would be together. He picked on that poor child too much. They were destined to be together. I believe that’s why Cam’s relationships never worked out and Royal never gave himself to another woman in that way. He was waiting for Cam and he finally has her.
“I know, baby. Royal was always a strong boy. Even when his father died, he didn’t shed one tear. I have never seen my son cry. It’s almost as if he was made to provide for us at a young age,” I told him.
I was also worried about Corey. I don’t know why he is so cold hearted. I always showed him extra attention because he was the baby. I can’t understand how he turned out that way. It has been a lot of unsolved gruesome murders going on and I feel like he is behind it. I can see it in his dark eyes. My baby has another side to him. It’s scary because I don’t think he can control it. I’m afraid that it might take over him completely if the wrong button is pushed.
My daughter is confused about love. I knew years ago, even before Ashaun had a baby, that he was not the one she really wanted. I never saw another boy in her life but I always felt like he was one. Maybe she was afraid to be lonely like I have been. A lot of girls pick up on their mother’s love life. I think the fear of having now is why she settled. I did my best raising my children and now it seems like I haven’t. Now I feel even worst because I have to eventually explain to them that I fell in love with my son’s connect, Leodonis, another man besides their father.
Jamie
People don’t understand my feelings because I don’t wear them on my sleeves. I have learned that when you act like a weak bitch, you get treated like one and that’s how I have been lately. I showed Ashaun my weak side and only pregnancy can bring that out. I don’t know if I’m going to go full term and Ashaun is playing on that. He finally found my weak spot and now he is doing everything to hurt me.
It has been a month since he left. He doesn’t answer my calls or texts. I said I was done but we are having a baby for Christ’s sake. If I lose the baby or have it, I need him to be here since he helped create it. I was willing to put all the bullshit aside but now this nigga was not playing fair. My brother being in a coma has put even more stress on me. Now I’m all alone in this big ass house going through it.
I get the feeling that Ashaun wants me to have a miscarriage. The doctor said to stay stress free as much as possible but then this nigga turns around and stresses me the hell out. I’m scared to go through this alone. If my brother wasn’t in a coma or if Corey knew what was going on, Ashaun would be dead. I’m starting to actually hate my soon to be ex-husband. We weren’t happy but we still spent years with each other. How can he not be more supportive?
My doorbell rang a few times before I snatched it open. I was definitely on bitch mode today.
“I’m surprised to see you here. What the fuck do you want?” I asked Killa.
“Damn, shorty, chill. I ran into your husband and he wanted me to check on you. He said you keep calling him like it’s an emergency,” he responded.
Killa was very handsome in a rugged bad boy type of way. He looked like he could pick you up like a tooth pick in those thick arms. He had that jailhouse body, tattoos and all. He had on a black long-sleeved Armani shirt, dark denim Diesel jeans, and a pair of black leather Bailey’s high top sneakers. He was rocking a black fitted Yankee hat, pulled down low over his eyes. His thick waves were peeking out on the sides. His goatee was trimmed and those pretty white teeth and smile would make a bitch wet. He had on a little jewelry, a gold diamond Rolex and a gold Gucci Marina chain around his neck.
He was talking to me but I zoned out. All I could think about was him wrapping those nice arms around my hips and pulling me into a deep kiss.
“What you got in here to eat? A nigga hungry as fuck,” he said rubbing his stomach.
“I was ready to make crab cakes. You are welcome to stay for dinner if you want to.”
“Cool, Ma. Lead the way,” he said.
He followed me into the kitchen. I could feel his eyes staring at my ass. I was wearing a tie-dyed maxi dress that clung to all my curves. I was kind of embarrassed because I had to Google the recipe for crab cakes.
“Shorty, I know damn well you’re not looking up the recipe,” he laughed.
“I don’t know how to cook,” I shamefully admitted.
Killa sta
rted taking out the ingredients to make the crab cakes. I paid close attention because I was really willing to learn how to cook. He put an egg, crackers, mayo, mustard, Old Bay, and Worchester sauce in a bowl and mixed it up.
“Make sure it’s not too wet or too dry,” he said patting them into patties.
He grabbed a frying pan and canola oil. He waited until the grease warmed up before putting them into the frying pan. I loved to see a sexy man in the kitchen. Ashaun would make stuff here and there but it was Spanish dishes or Jamaican dishes that would run right through me.
I boiled some broccoli and then put some sweet potatoes into the microwave. An hour later, I was setting the table for dinner. I made Killa a mixed drink of peach Ciroc and pineapple juice.
“Damn, Kejuan, this shit is good,” I said, biting into the crab cake.
“What the fuck I tell you about calling me by my government?” he snapped.
“Why the fuck you always act like you hate me?” I asked.
“I don’t hate you but you know what you did to a nigga way back was fucked up.,” he said.
“I was young!” I shouted in tears.
“You were young and didn’t give a fuck about no one but yourself. I begged you not to get that abortion. I told you I didn’t have any fucking family and you did that shit to me. Y’all were going to be the only family I had. You thought I was going to let y’all go without. I’m not scared of your brothers but I respected you enough to not let it be known. You knew I loved you. Even though we were young, what I felt for you was real. Your fucking husband doesn’t even know the real reason why you can’t carry children. Maybe if you hadn’t got that abortion while being so far along you wouldn’t have got that infection. You wouldn’t be in this predicament. Do you know how it felt for me to sit back and watch you with another nigga? I was the only one who was supposed to be with you. I saved money up to buy you a ring from the pawnshop. We were supposed to get married after we graduated. I cut grass and shit all summer to get you that ring. All that for you to abort our daughter and be with another nigga that you don’t even fucking love. So you ask your fucking self why I’m mad,” he stated angrily.
