Searching for a Silver Lining

by Miranda Dickinson

  ‘It’s a skill,’ Mattie smiled into her coffee cup.

  When they met Reenie again in Bath Abbey’s courtyard, everyone’s spirits were high. Reenie was glowing and smelled suspiciously of gin, although she swore it was the lingering odour from the restaurant she’d been sitting in. Gil began to rib her about it, their back-and-forth banter filling the air. Walking a little way behind them, Mattie considered Grandpa Joe’s infatuation with Una. Had Grandma known about his affair? True, it would have been several years in the past by the time they met, but had Grandpa Joe ever told his wife about his former girlfriend?

  Mattie hadn’t known much about Asher’s past dating history when they had been together, save for the girl he’d been seeing for a year before he’d met her. They’d had a tempestuous relationship by all accounts, culminating in an acrimonious break-up, the reasons for which he had never gone into. Now it occurred to her that he might have done to his former lover what he did to Mattie.

  Reenie declared she was tired when they returned to their hotel, so Mattie arranged for her dinner to be delivered to her room.

  ‘You should have a night off,’ Reenie insisted, when Mattie protested. ‘Go and enjoy yourself, love. Have a drink – better still, have a few. You need a blowout after being Sandra Dee for us all. Here –’ She thrust a worryingly warm twenty-pound note pulled with panache from beneath one bra strap into Mattie’s reluctant palm. ‘No, now, you can’t refuse an old lady her little indulgences. Call it a chauffeur’s tip if you must. Enjoy yourself.’

  Mattie considered waiting until Reenie had gone before heading straight for her own room, giving in to the lure of an early night and a comfortable bed. She could have a bite to eat, watch something mindless on TV in her pyjamas and drift off to sleep, knowing that she had hours to enjoy it. After a week on the road, a part of her longed for something normal. She had long since stopped worrying about how Joanna and Laurie were coping without her at Bell Be-Bop, but she felt a little at sea without the constancy of her work routine to mark the hours of her days. Last night, when she had phoned Joanna, her sister had laughed at her.

  ‘You’re a nutcase! Honestly, Mattie, only you could spend ten days off work wishing you were back at the shop. Make the most of it. If your recent form is anything to go by, it’ll be a good five years before you grant yourself any time off again.’

  Was she really that bad? Running her own business inevitably meant it was on her mind constantly. She didn’t switch off at five p.m. – she couldn’t run a successful shop without putting in significantly more hours than she would ever claim a wage for. But having left her business for the first time, she had started to ask herself if some of that dogged commitment to the shop was a diversionary tactic. If she was consumed by work-related thoughts, there was less time to think about other things, like Grandpa Joe and Asher. In her rented home, in the few hours in her week free of work commitments, she found herself at a loss. She had become her job. It had begun as a survival tactic when the rest of her life was crumbling about her ears. But did she still need that now? Joanna and the kids were at home, filling her former empty evenings with life and laughter. Going home after work no longer scared her like it had before their arrival. So much of what she had discussed with Reenie in the weeks preceding this adventure and the days on the tour had begun to lay to rest ghosts that had haunted her since losing her grandfather. She loved her business, and it would always have to claim the lion’s share of her time. But what else did she want from her life? Maybe hiding in a hotel room, however appealing, wasn’t the best way to discover the answer.

  I am in one of the most beautiful cities in the country, she reminded herself. I’d be crazy not to make the most of this evening.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said, planting a kiss on Reenie’s cheek. ‘Have a good night.’

  ‘You too.’ Reenie started to walk towards the stairs, turning back and miming knocking back a drink, then fake-drunk-staggering to the steps, making Mattie and Gil laugh.

  ‘So. What are your plans for a wild night out?’ he asked.

  ‘Find something to eat. And a bar, apparently.’

  ‘Sounds good to me. Want some company?’

  ‘Oh, I . . .’

  ‘Reenie is going to demand more than your word as proof you let your hair down,’ he grinned. ‘I can be your witness.’

  ‘You’d do that – for me?’

  He gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘It will be a hardship, but if I must . . .’

  ‘I’d like that.’

  He smiled again and Mattie returned it. ‘Excellent. Shall we?’

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ‘Love Potion Number 9’ – The Clovers

  It was a beautiful evening to be walking out to dinner, and Mattie couldn’t help remembering long holiday nights of her youth playing out under starlit West Country skies in the house her grandparents rented for family stays in Bath. Remembering one of her favourite places in the city, she led Gil down a set of steps, emerging by the distinctive crescent weir overlooked by beautiful Pulteney Bridge. As a child she’d adored the fairytale structure, modelled on Florence’s famous Ponte Vecchio. The smooth, blue-green glassy waters of the River Avon made a perfect mirror of the colonnades of the building opposite before tumbling over the weir beneath in clouds of frothing white bubbles. Above the floodlit historic buildings the late September evening sky was a luminous deep dark blue, a few brave stars peeking out from the highest point of the arc.

  ‘Wow,’ Gil breathed, leaning against the railing as he drank in the view. ‘This is awesome. You’d have no idea you were crossing that bridge from the roadside.’

  ‘It’s special, isn’t it? That’s one of the things I love about Bath, all the secrets it hides away, along alleys and down steep steps.’ She giggled. ‘Listen to me. I sound like a tour guide.’

  ‘It’s a pretty good tour, so far.’ Gil’s elbow was barely an inch from hers on the steel railing and Mattie was suddenly acutely aware of his closeness. In the light from the buildings across the river his eyes seemed darker, the contours of his face more defined. If she remained where she was too much longer, she might forget the view opposite entirely . . .

  ‘We should find somewhere to eat,’ she said, quickly. ‘There’s a good restaurant not far from here.’

  ‘Great. Lead the way, Mademoiselle Tour Guide.’

  The restaurant back up on Argyle Street was busy, despite it still being early. Mattie was relieved when the waiter found them a table overlooking the street. They ordered and shared a platter of bread and olives while they waited. Although their conversation moved to safer territory, Mattie found herself returning to the moment by the bridge just before. The thought caused a flutter of butterfly wings in the pit of her stomach, and she resolved to pack it away for this evening. She was determined to relax in Gil’s company and enjoy the evening out.

  An hour later, when dinner was over and they had settled the bill, Gil grinned at her as he shrugged on his jacket. ‘Right. We’d better find a bar, hadn’t we? Colonel Silver’s orders!’

  As they walked further into the city, Gil kept up the joke, trying to make Mattie march beside him and launching into an army-themed commentary on their evening.

  ‘Hup, two-three-four, scouting party Private Kendrick and Corporal Bell reporting for duty, Ma’am!’

  ‘Gil, stop it.’

  ‘Can’t stop, Corporal Bell. Important Silver Company orders to follow. Here you go, how about this place?’

  They had stopped outside a bar near the floodlit arches of Bath Abbey. Outside, a blackboard covered in flamboyant script declared the place to be:

  CLOISTERS –

  HOME OF THE TWILIGHT HOUR

  EVERY EVENING, 8 P.M.

  ‘Twilight hour? What’s that?’ Mattie asked.

  ‘No idea. But it happens in five minutes, so I guess we’ll find out.’

  They found a seat in the Gothic-themed bar, Mattie amused by the plaster gargoyles gurning at them fro
m the ceiling. Besides that, the place was unremarkable, with the same inset spotlights, wooden booths and slate floors she had seen in countless other bars and pubs.

  Until, that was, a tiny bell chimed and the house lights began to dim around them.

  Suddenly tiny specks of light appeared, lining the bar and glowing from every table. Looking down, Mattie realised that plastic glow-in-the-dark stars had been scattered everywhere. She remembered them from her teenage years, when she and Joanna had stuck them on their bedroom ceilings. The effect was utterly magical, as if a thousand glow-worms had laid siege to the restaurant.

  Gil smiled. ‘Now that’s clever. I might try that back at Kendrick’s.’

  As they ordered drinks, Mattie decided to address Gil’s joke about Reenie. ‘So what you’re saying is that I’m gullible.’

  ‘Eh?’

  ‘All that Corporal Bell and Colonel Silver stuff.’

  ‘No, not at all. It’s a joke.’

  ‘I see it written all over your face. You think Reenie’s taking advantage of me.’

  ‘No, I don’t.’ Despite his denial, Gil’s head bowed a little and Mattie knew she’d hit a nerve.

  ‘Yes, you do. You think she’s running me ragged. And I’ll do whatever she says.’

  ‘What? No, that’s not what I—’

  ‘I know it looks that way. And maybe you’re right. I need Reenie on this trip as much as she needs me – we established that from the very beginning. She wants to make amends for the past, and I –’ She stopped speaking, aware that to carry on would mean telling Gil the real reason she was part of this.

  ‘Why did you get involved, Mattie? I know you said the club was special to your grandfather, but how did that lead you to take an OAP on a road trip?’

  ‘Here you go. Enjoy.’ The barman handed Mattie a mojito, the scent of mint and lime like a breath of fresh air in the warmth of the bar. Gil received his single malt and a jug of water, but didn’t seem to notice, his full attention on her.

  ‘I fell out with my grandpa before he died, and never had the chance to make things right. I don’t expect you to understand, but this trip and the concert next week are probably the closest I can ever come to making it up to him.’

  ‘What did you fall out over?’ His eyes were intent on her, willing an answer, but it was too soon. The words she could have shared wouldn’t leave her throat and she flushed in the twilight of the bar.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. The point is, I’m here because I wanted to make a difference. I realise that sounds lame.’

  ‘No, it doesn’t. A little extreme, maybe. We all have things we wish we’d done differently when we lose somebody. There are a thousand things I wish I’d spoken to my grandad about before he died, but I didn’t get the opportunity. That doesn’t make me want to travel across the country in ten days and organise a reunion gig for a bunch of old people I don’t know.’

  Mattie had to smile at the irony of his statement. ‘And yet, here you are.’

  Realising his mistake, he laughed. ‘So I am.’

  ‘But you’re not jumping to the beat of Reenie’s drum like you think I am.’

  ‘That’s not true . . .’

  Mattie sipped her drink. ‘It’s okay to admit it. I’d rather you did, actually. It saves me the bother of admitting it to myself.’

  ‘Where is this coming from?’

  Mattie thought of what she was learning about Grandpa Joe – and her own growing suspicion that things might have ended differently if she’d only had the guts to stand up to him. ‘The thing is, Gil, I’m tired of people telling me what to do. Everyone’s done it, all my life. Reenie has my number on this trip; she knows what it means to me so, yes, she is able to determine what we do and where we go. I don’t think she took too kindly to my tricking her into seeing June again yesterday, so she’ll try to get the upper hand again. And I know I’ll let her, if it means the concert happens.’

  ‘But I don’t see this as being all about her. I mean, look at what you’ve done. You organised this trip, put up with everything Reenie, me and everyone else has thrown at you, and we’re all still here. The gig is on for next week, the club is being transformed as we speak and the tickets go on sale tomorrow. I spoke to my brother this afternoon and he said the media interest is good so far. You made all this happen. Trust me, you’re amazing.’

  His words floated in the warm bar air between them, and Mattie raised her eyes to the ornate plastered ceiling, half-expecting to see actual letters coasting on the air currents above their heads. The noise of the bar retreated a little.

  ‘What did you say?’ Her question was soft against the metallic thud of the background music.

  Gil leaned a little closer. ‘I said, you’re amazing, Mattie Bell.’

  Right then, she wanted to kiss him.

  The feeling took her completely unawares, so strong it almost knocked her off her seat. More unexpectedly, she saw her desire mirrored in his gaze as it dipped to her lips and back. He reached for her hand and the bar around her began to swim as their skin made contact.

  ‘Gil . . .’

  ‘Shh . . .’

  They were too close now to escape the inevitable. To her surprise, Mattie felt no fear, no urge to run. It only took the smallest bow of her head for their lips to touch; by then it was too late to decide to do anything else. As they kissed, her initial shock at the contact merged into something deeper, and then she was wrapping her arms around him, jealously guarding their closeness. This is where she wanted to be; where, she now understood, she had been heading for some time. All thoughts of Asher, Grandpa Joe and the betrayal flew from her mind, and she gave in to the welcome of Gil’s kiss.

  A shrill wolf-whistle erupted from the bar and she felt Gil’s lips smiling against hers, the warm rush of his breath against her skin from his self-conscious laugh. But their kiss remained: perfect and beautiful and completely unexpected.

  When they eventually parted and Gil had raised his hand to thank their delighted audience, he took both her hands in his. ‘When this is over and everything is back to normal, we need to talk. I really like you, Mattie. I want to be with you.’

  She saw her smile reflected in the deep green eyes gazing at her. Breathless from his kiss, she leaned her head against his shoulder and shivered a little as his arm slipped around her. Could this really be happening?

  ‘I know this is out of the blue,’ he continued, his thumb tracing small, gentle circles on the top of her shoulder. ‘And I know it’s completely the wrong time and you’re still getting over everything with the last bloke, but . . .’

  Instantly, the romantic atmosphere disappeared. Mattie sat up, shrugging free of his arm. ‘Wait a minute. How do you know about that?’

  ‘Reenie told me.’

  ‘Reenie? When?’

  He gave a sheepish smile. ‘We’ve been talking – about you – for a while.’

  ‘What?’ She struggled to make sense of what she was hearing. Since when were they close enough to discuss personal matters? And what did Reenie think she was doing telling Gil about Asher and her break-up, anyway? Mattie had told her about it in confidence – or so she’d thought.

  ‘Don’t be embarrassed. Reenie asked me straight out how I felt about you.’

  ‘And you told her? Just like that?’

  ‘It surprised me, too. She has a way of getting information out of you. I asked her about you and I guess she put two and two together. There wasn’t any point trying to deny it.’

  This road trip was certainly not short of curveballs. ‘What else did she tell you?’

  ‘Nothing else, I promise. I know about your grandfather, but you told me that.’

  ‘What exactly did Reenie say about me?’

  ‘Does it matter?’

  Mattie folded her arms, the chill of the bar suddenly seeping into her skin. ‘Yes, I think it does.’

  He gave a sigh. ‘She said you were engaged to an idiot who couldn’t see what a gem he had. She said if
she’d been on the scene when it happened, she would have gone round his house and torn him a new—’

  ‘Okay, okay, I get the picture.’ Mattie’s smile wouldn’t stay hidden. ‘That’s quite sweet, actually.’

  ‘She cares about you. And yes, she can be possibly the most annoying person on the planet, but she knows who she likes, and right now you’re at the top of the list. She has a good heart and she cares about you. I’m starting to think the only reason she agreed to reunite The Silver Five was because you asked her to do it.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes. I can see how much she respects you. And I like you too, so it seems Reenie and me agree on one thing.’

  The rest of the evening passed in a blur of laughter and stolen kisses beneath the benevolent gaze of Bath’s ancient buildings. Mattie put aside her irritation with Reenie for the time being, letting herself be swept along by the newness of it all. It had been years since she’d kissed somebody for the first time – and, compared with her first contact with Asher, being with Gil felt more grown-up somehow. But the combination of quiet confidence and electrifying touch was more powerful than anything she’d experienced. His hand fitted hers in a way no other had done before. Most surprisingly, she sensed this was as much on her terms as it was his. She let herself relax into it, enjoying the discovery of how she fitted within Gil’s embrace, how his lips moved across hers. Everything felt new and wonderful – and for once she didn’t care what might happen next, or what might wait in store for them down the line. Tonight was theirs – and nothing could steal it from them.

  When Mattie returned to her room she was still smiling. It had certainly been a night of surprises. She reached into her jacket pocket to retrieve her room key, but found something else besides: a small star, its glow diminished but still there. Gil must have slipped it into her pocket.

  Smiling, she placed it on her bedside table, where its soft glow fell upon Grandpa Joe’s diary. She was struck by a sudden need to see how his feelings for Una would play out. Her life had inexplicably moved in parallel with his: would it remain so?