by KD Robichaux
Dis bitch…
I scoff, looking at Jason through wide eyes, who pulls his plump bottom lip between his teeth, trying not to laugh.
“Did you see that?” I exhort disbelievingly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He swipes his palm from his nose down to his chin, fighting to keep his composure.
I shake my head and narrow my eyes, pulling my menu to me from the end of the table, which makes me realize she had actually handed Jason’s to him, causing me to squeak at the back of my throat. I inhale deeply and breathe out again to release some of the growing stabbiness inside me.
“What looks good?” Jason asks over the top of his menu, seeming to enjoy watching me squirm.
I sigh, trying to concentrate on the descriptions and pictures in front of me. “I definitely want the fried green beans I heard about, but that’s just an appetizer. This chicken dish looks good, smothered in cheese. I wonder if they could give me some tortillas to make soft tacos out of it,” I think aloud, and just then the server returns with our drinks. She sets Jason’s carefully next to him, and then plops my water down on the table, some sloshing over the brim, making my eye twitch.
“Do you need another minute?” she directs at Jason sweetly, moving her body closer to him.
My grip tightens on my menu, my fingertips turning white as my hands tremble. If this chick doesn’t back the fuck up off my man…
“No, we’re ready. Go ahead, baby,” Jason offers, seeing I’m really starting to get upset and trying to defuse the situation.
The waitress pops her hip as she begrudgingly faces me, pulling a pen out of her half-apron and looking at me expectantly, a bitchy expression on her face. Apparently this cunty asshole doesn’t care about getting a good tip.
I clear my throat so I don’t spew the words I have for her floating around in my mind. “We’ll take the fried green beans as our appetizer, and I’ll have the smothered chicken. And can I get a side of tortillas, please?”
She doesn’t answer, just turns back to Jason with I guess what she thinks is a sexy smile. I raise an eyebrow at the red lipstick smeared on her front teeth, letting out an audible snort as I fold up my menu.
Jason disguises a laugh as a cough behind his fist and he sits up straight, lowering his eyebrows as he relocates what he wanted to order. “I’m gonna have the bacon cheeseburger plain and dry.”
“Do you want fries or a different side with that?” she breathes, leaning over him to flip the page of his menu, pressing her body against his arm. I nearly choke on my spit as I gasp. “You can choose anything from this section here.”
“Fries are fine,” Jason says, pulling his arm away and shoving the menu at her to push her away.
She looks dejected as she spins to walk away, but I call out, “Excuse me!” and she turns back with a scowl.
“Yes?” she prompts shortly.
“Can I get a small cup of warm water please? I have to mix our baby’s food up,” I add, my voice dripping with fake sweetness, throwing the word our in there to mark Jason as my territory, since I think it would probably be frowned upon if I walked around to his side of the booth and peed on him.
“The water that comes out of the fountain is already cold,” she spits.
“So you’re telling me there’s no way to heat up the water?” I admonish.
The waitress begins to shake her head, but Jason interrupts her, all of the humor on his face from before completely gone, replaced with almost scary seriousness. “Ma’am, this is a restaurant that serves—get this—hot food. I’m sure you’ve got this brilliant invention in the kitchen called a microwave that one can—listen carefully—heat up a cup of water. And seeing how it’s for that precious little girl sitting right there, if I get any suspicion that you’ve done anything to it, I will get your ass fired so fast it’ll make your head spin, probably whipping that red crap right off your teeth.” At this, she gasps and covers her mouth with her hand, and I see her chin move side to side beneath it, like she’s trying to lick the lipstick off her chompers. “So, please, if you’d be so kind, bring my wife some warm water as she requested.”
Two things happen in the next moment; one, I gasp sharply at his use of the word wife, and two, she nods and spins away again to go fill our order. My gasp causes Josalyn to jump next to me and I look over at her, determining if she’s going to cry. But instead, she lets out a stream of baby babble, blowing a slobbery raspberry at the end, making me laugh as I turn my gaze back on Jason.
“Wife?” I smirk at him, raising an eyebrow.
“What? You called Josalyn our baby, so I figured girlfriend wouldn’t have the same effect as ‘wife’ would,” he retorts.
I can’t wipe the smile off my face, my mood immediately lifting as his words echo through my mind. Going from longing for him to ask me to be his girlfriend to him freely pretending I’m his wife is kind of shocking, but it makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl, not a grown-ass woman with a baby of her own.
I let out a small chuckle as a memory hits me. “I remember you going off on that lady who rear-ended me. You have a distinctive way of defending my honor, dear sir.” I take a sip of my water, using a napkin to wipe up the mess the horrible waitress had made.
“I thought it was funny at first, your green-eyed monster rearing its adorable head when the waitress was flirting with me. But when you obviously fuck with my girls, your lazy ass not wanting to take the time to heat up some water for a baby? Oh, fuck that. Funny time, over.” He shakes his head.
God, I love the way he calls us his girls. Just this conversation can salvage the lunch the bitchy server had begun to ruin. A few minutes later, a man in a nice dress shirt and slacks brings me a mug of steaming water, and another glass of water with no ice.
“Hi there, folks. I’m the manager here, and one of our waiters came and told me your waitress wasn’t being very professional or hospitable. He overheard you needed some warm water for your baby, so I brought you some hot water, and some cool water, so you could mix it to the temperature you need. I’ll be taking care of you for the rest of your meal, and I’d like to offer you a dessert on the house if you have room for it after you’re done with your lunch,” he extends.
“Thank you. I’ll definitely take you up on that,” I reply, pulling Josalyn’s bowl and spoon from her diaper bag, along with the box of cereal and jar of pureed carrots.
“We’ll have your meals right out,” the manager says, and nods at Jason before walking away.
I peek up to see Jason watching me closely as I mix some of the hot water from the mug with the rice cereal in the bowl. There’s no need to add any of the cold water because it’ll be cool enough after stirring it all together. Then I empty the carrots into the bowl, combining it into a concoction Josalyn seems to love. She hates the rice by itself, but has no qualms chowing it down when it’s flavored with her baby food.
I lift a spoonful of the mixture to my lips, touching it to my sensitive flesh to make sure it’s not too hot, feeling that it’s the perfect temperature to feed her. Her hands and feet are squirming and kicking, her mouth already wide open as I turn toward her, and I hear Jason chuckle when I swoop the spoon in her direction with my flying sound effects as I give her a bite.
She hums as she chews, the same way I do when I’m eating my favorite chocolaty desserts, and soon her mouth is open again, ready for her next spoonful.
Jason surprises me then, asking, “Can I try?” as he leans forward to see around the handle of her car seat.
“Really? If you want to,” I concede, sitting the bowl back down on the table and sliding out of the booth so he can take my spot. Just then, the manager brings out the fried green beans, and I thank him as I slide into the seat Jason just vacated, grinning when he picks up the spoon.
I pick one of the appetizers up and dip it into the ranch that came with it as he carefully tries to fill the spoon with the exact same amount as I had, taking my first taste, and he wipes the bott
om off on the rim of the bowl before cautiously feeding her a bite. His expression looks as if he just won a gold medal in the Olympics as she makes her appreciative humming sound again, just as I make the same noise over the fried green bean, and he chuckles as he turns to fill the spoon once more. This continues until her bowl is empty and he looks up at me with a slight furrowing of his brow.
“Is that it? Does she get any water or something to wash it down with?” he asks worriedly.
“If you reach down into the side pocket of the diaper bag, there’s a mini-bottle of filtered water. She usually won’t drink it after she tastes it’s just water, but you can give it to her if it makes you feel better.” I smile.
He leans down to grab the bottle out of the bag, tugs the cover off the nipple, and places it at her lips. She takes a couple pulls from it, wrapping her hands around it, but as always, when she discovers it’s not milk, she yanks it out of her mouth with an audible pop and shoves it back into Jason’s hand.
He chuckles and shakes his head, looking up at me admiringly.
“What?” I grin, sitting up straighter.
“It’s just amazing how perfectly you know her. It’s like you can foresee her next move. I saw it when you were holding her, like you’d counter her every movement without even having to think about it. You know the tiniest thing to do to snap her back into a good mood when she gets a little fussy. And you do it all seamlessly, almost unconsciously. It’s just awesome to watch,” he explains, and I blush at his obvious approval.
“She’s changed you. In a good way,” he adds. “You have a confidence with her that you never had before. You do everything with her with a sure hand, never seeming to question yourself when it comes to what she needs.”
“Like I said, she’s the easiest baby on the planet. And it’s mostly instinct. I just do what my gut tells me to. I’ve learned her different cries, so I know when she’s hungry, or needs to be changed, or if she’s just being a little bitchy.” I shrug. “You want your seat back, or…?”
“Nah, I like sitting here. That way I get the perfect view of both my girls,” he coos down at Josalyn, who kicks her feet and reaches for his nose, and Jason places his mouth against her palm instead, nibbling the center and making her giggle.
Cue Kayla swooning into a puddle under the booth.
Finally, our food comes, and seeing my tortillas are missing—the bitch probably didn’t even put the order in for them—Jason asks the manager to bring me some. It’s so nice having someone look out for me for a change. His consideration doesn’t seem fake at all. He genuinely wanted to feed Josalyn. He didn’t do it just to impress me. That’s not who Jason is. He doesn’t do things to look good for other people. He only does something if he really wants to, out of the goodness of his heart.
The rest of the meal is perfect, and we follow it up with dessert before Jason pays the bill and we stand to leave. I hand him his black pea coat from beside me, and he puts it on before sliding Josalyn’s carrier out of the booth. I follow behind them and my heart clenches at the sight. Quickly, I pull my digital camera out of my purse and snap a picture of the sweet scene: Jason looking manly and sophisticated in his structured wool coat, contrasting adorably with Josalyn’s baby pink car seat as he carries her effortlessly with one hand.
I pull my jacket more tightly around me, and when I glance up to see Jason has turned to reach into the diaper bag hanging on my shoulder to pull out Josalyn’s blanket, I come ridiculously close to crying as he tucks it around her. As if I could love him any more than I already did, I feel my heart grow an extra chamber for paternal Jason. After watching over his shoulder as he buckles her into the car flawlessly, when he closes the door, I grab him by the bicep, turn him around, and use every ounce of my much smaller body to shove him up against the car. I feel absolutely savage as I wrap myself around him, and within seconds, I don’t feel the slightest bit chilly. I kiss him with a passion I’d forgotten I could possess, throwing every bit of the new level of love I feel for him into the embrace.
I don’t let him go until he finally starts to gently push at my shoulders and begins to chuckle, and when I do begrudgingly release him, I’m breathing heavy, little puffs of white forming before me with each exhale.
“Woman, if you don’t control yourself, I’m going to end up bending you over the trunk of the car, and that’s not the way I want to have you for the first time as my girl. Plus, the baby is rear-facing, and I don’t want to scar her for life,” he jokes, bending his head down to kiss me lightly on the lips before sliding out from between me and the door. I watch him circle the car, feeling like a cat ready to pounce, but as he opens his door and disappears inside, I snap out of it and get in my side.
We spend the next couple of hours walking around Baybrook Mall, Jason carrying Josalyn most of the time since I didn’t think to bring her stroller. The view is an ovary explosion. There’s nothing sexier than my hot-ass boyfriend holding my sweet-faced baby girl.
There’s no hesitation from either of them. Josalyn has taken to Jason like he’s been around her every day since the day she was born, and Jason holds her with a confidence I don’t think even he realized he had. I say this, because when we were standing in line for a pretzel and lemonade, he told me, “I’m usually kinda nervous holding people’s kids, but I really like carrying this little turd.” And then he pressed his lips to the side of her neck and blew a raspberry, making her cackle and wiggle in his arms. “Plus, she smells really good.”
“I use Johnson’s lavender bubble bath on her. I catch myself doing lines of baby smell off the top of her head all the time.” I grinned when he laughed heartily. It always feels so accomplishing whenever I can make Jason really laugh.
But now, as we pull into his driveway and I see his mom’s maroon Toyota Highlander in her garage bay, my heart thumps with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. Will she treat me as she always had, welcoming me into her home with open arms? Or, now that I’m dating her son, will she be more critical of me? I haven’t made the brightest decisions over the past couple of years. Will she judge me for them?
Jason reaches over and squeezes my knee, seeing my hesitation. “She’s really excited to see you, babe. Don’t worry.”
I nod and let out a breath, opening my door and moving to get Josalyn, but Jason playfully jumps in front of me, shuffling backwards bent at the waist to move me away with his ass. “That’s my job.” He winks at me over his shoulder and the butterflies in my belly take flight. I could definitely get used to this.
Before we even reach the door inside the garage, it swings inward, and there stands his mom, in all her barely five-foot glory, looking exactly the same as she did years ago, her hair in its pixie cut, her makeup all done, and still dressed in the nice business casual outfit she wore to work. With more strength than you’d think her tiny body would have, she pulls me in for a giant bear hug, squeezing the breath right out of me.
“It’s about time you got here, girl. I snuck out early, because I couldn’t wait to see you and the baby!” She lets me go and turns to Jason, who’s holding Josalyn’s carrier on his forearm, making faces at her and then returning her smile. “Now let me see this precious little thing.”
Within a few seconds, Mrs. Robichaux has Josalyn unbuckled from her car seat and in her arms, propping her up on her hip and turning to walk back into the house. I glance up at Jason and give him a relieved smile. Like the whirlwind I remember, by the time Jason and I get all the bags and the carrier set down in his room and return to the living room, his mom already has Josalyn out of her hoodie and is dancing around the coffee table with her, oldies music playing over their surround sound as his dad taps his foot to the beat in his recliner.
I grin at Josalyn’s open-mouthed smile, her giggles doing even more to fill me with relief. She’s usually pretty friendly with strangers, but there’s not even a smidge of shyness in her demeanor as Mrs. Robichaux spins her around the room to “Hooked on a Feeling” by Blue Swed
e.
Jason takes my hand and tugs me over to the long green couch facing the TV, plopping down then pulling me down next to him, securing me to his side with his arm around my shoulders. It feels surreal sitting with him like this in the first place, but doing it in front of his parents? It feels even crazier. I mean, we were always pretty openly affectionate in front of them before, but nothing platonic friends wouldn’t do. A hug here, playful wrestling there. But snuggled up tight against his delicious body, his arm possessively holding me to him, that’s a different story. From the outside, there would be no question if we were together, a couple, not just friends. Surprisingly, I don’t feel awkward in the least. It feels too amazing for Jason to openly be staking his claim on me to feel anything but loved.
Jason’s dad starts up a conversation with his son about some rifle he’s thinking about adding to his collection, and I take in how relaxed and normal this all feels, watching his mom continue to dance with Josalyn as Blue Swede ends and The Marvelettes begin singing “Please, Mr. Postman”.
After a couple more songs, Mrs. Robichaux drops down onto the couch beside me and sits Josalyn on her knees facing her, holding onto her hands and bouncing her legs. The baby giggles as I start singing, “Ride, ride, ride that horsey…” as Granny always does, and Jason’s mom leans forward and leaves a coral lipstick kiss mark on her plump cheek.
“So how was the trip?” she asks, still bouncing Josalyn on her knees.
“A lot less stressful than I thought it would be. She slept the whole time, out like a light as soon as we took off,” I tell her.
“What have y’all been up to today? Did you get here pretty early?”
“I got here right when Jason got out of school. We went and had some lunch at TGI Fridays and then just walked around the mall. It’s so much bigger than the one in Fayetteville. Way more stores. I had to contain myself.” I laugh.
“Jason said you’d be leaving before dark, so I tried to get here as soon as I could so I could spend some time with this sweet baby I keep seeing pictures of,” she says, tickling Josalyn’s belly and making her cackle. “And of course you, my dear.” She reaches over and pats my leg.
