Healing Her Racy Doctors [Racy Nights 15] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Tara Rose

  “She called you.”

  “I know.”

  “Multiple times.”

  “I know.”

  “So, what do we do now? What’s the plan, Adam? Are you done with this?”

  “You’re angry with me, too.”

  “Damn fucking straight I am. You lecture her on trust and then you do this? You and I were both there that day. We both lost Lissa. You think this isn’t hard for me, too?”

  “I know it is.”

  “Then what the fuck?”

  Adam rose and poured himself a glass of whiskey, then poured one for Travis as well. He handed it to him, then silently drained his before he spoke again. “I’ve had a lot of time to think. I know what I did was asinine and hypocritical. I was so wrong. I was wrong to take off like that and leave you two stranded, and I was wrong to not talk to Loreen all this time.”

  “Tell her that, not me.”

  “I will. Travis, I love her. I’m so damn in love with her I can’t even see straight.”

  “About fucking time you admitted it. I am, too. But I’m not so sure she wants us anymore. You know what I said to her Tuesday night, after she handed me that card? I told her that you hurting me was bad enough, but that I was more angry with what you’d done to her. I told her all about what it was like when we served side-by-side in Iraq, and how that’s the same kind of bond you develop with fellow soldiers in combat.”

  “She sees her share of horrible shit in the ER, you know.” Loreen had worked there long enough to have seen more bad traumas than anyone should have to endure.

  “I know she does. Let me finish. I told her that you lectured her on trust and set up protocols that she works very hard to stick to, and I was pissed off that she was so worried about where you were, but couldn’t see that I was hurting, too.”

  “I’m sure she saw that.” She was too kind not to.

  “She did. I realize that now. And then I told her that you didn’t need rescuing. Her face fell. She was crushed. And so damn confused. But I was too fucking self-absorbed to see past it. You know what she said? She said recusing was a good choice of words. Then she said we both need rescuing from our own thoughts and memories. From our pain. Neither of us has completely worked through our pain at what we saw in Iraq, anymore than we’ve each worked through losing Lissa.”

  Adam swallowed hard, then poured himself a second glass. Tonight, he needed it. “I know that. She’s right. About me, anyway. But I do love her. I still want to do this. And I’ll keep seeing Julie. I will work through this, and I will not lose Loreen in the process.”

  “She needs to hear that from you.”

  Adam faced Travis. “And what about you? What’s your story?”

  “I don’t want to lose her either. She also said she wasn’t sure she was the woman to help us work through this, so we’d better do something and fast or my story won’t matter and neither will yours. We might already be too late. You didn’t see her face at work tonight. She picked up all those extra shifts for a reason. She’s avoiding us.”

  “Then we have a lot of work to do to make this right.” He wasn’t going to lose her. Not now. Not after everything that had happened. He’d fix this. He had to. He loved her and wanted to spend his life with her. It had just taken him longer to realize it than it had taken Travis.

  * * * *

  When Loreen finally got home from her shift on Thursday, she texted both men again at the same time, telling them that she was sorry for everything that had hurt them, and that all she wanted to do was hold them in her arms again. She told them she was working another double tomorrow and Saturday, just in case Travis hadn’t had a chance to tell Adam that, and that she hoped they could all sit down together and talk on Sunday.

  Then she turned her phone off again because she knew that she had to sleep.

  * * * *

  Loreen got through her shifts Friday and Saturday without crying once only because of the text messages she found Friday morning.

  Can you ever forgive me? I’m an asshole. I have no excuse for running out on you like that Tuesday, or for not speaking to you for three days. But I promise you I will make this right.

  Adam and I talked. Please forgive me for being so angry. We’ll talk Sunday and I promise you I will make this right.

  She texted them both back and thanked them for wanting to talk, telling them that of course she forgave them and couldn’t wait to see them on Sunday. She didn’t hear anything further from them, but she hadn’t really expected to. All Travis had said was that they would talk. She wasn’t sure if that meant they wanted to go back to the way things were, or merely if they wanted to let her go in person, but at least she’d heard from both men. Especially Adam.

  Saturday evening around eight, she was so damn tired she could hardly function, but she knew she’d make it. And tomorrow she’d have an answer, finally. One way or the other, she’d be able to put this behind her and move on with her life.

  All weekend she’d gone over the things she’d said, and was ready to tell them how sorry she was as well. She only hoped they’d forgive her as easily as she’d already forgiven each of them.

  She was on her way to the nurses’ station when she heard Vicki Knowles mention Adam’s name, so she stopped to listen but stayed around the corner so no one would see her.

  “I asked him what was going on, and he said he and Travis were just out and about, having a good time, and glad they weren’t at work.”

  She heard laughter and then Vicki continued. “I said it must be nice not to have to work weekends, and Travis said they worked weekends when they had to. So I asked them if they wanted to hang out, but they said they were busy and on their way to meet someone. Lucky girl.”

  Loreen’s heart nearly stopped. This couldn’t be happening.

  “Well that’s not fair,” said Gail Sonders. “She gets them both.”

  “No kidding,” said Vicki. “So then I watched them walk toward Minnie’s Flower Shop, and that was that.”

  “See?” asked Gale. “I told you. Players. Both of them.”

  Loreen ducked into an empty room and tried to keep breathing. They wanted to talk to her tomorrow to break up with her in person. They were already seeing someone else. It couldn’t be. Had she meant that little to them? How was it possible she’d misjudged them so badly? It had to be a mistake. They must have been teasing Vicki. It couldn’t be true.

  They’d both said they’d make this right. She’d assumed that meant everything was okay between them. But what if that’s not what it had meant at all? What if it meant they were merely going to try and part from her as friends rather than enemies? They had to work with her. They knew it would be awkward and difficult if she was angry with them.

  It was all Loreen could do to get through the rest of her shift. When she finally checked her phone again, she found a text from Travis, asking if they could come over around noon. Nothing from Adam. She texted back that she’d expect them at noon tomorrow, and left it at that.

  When she crawled into bed she cried until she could hardly breathe, and finally fell asleep.

  * * * *

  Travis was so excited Sunday morning he couldn’t sleep past seven. What if she hated the collar they’d bought her? What if it was too soon for it? What if she didn’t like the home they’d found? What if he and Adam both had misinterpreted her texts, and she truly didn’t want to be with them any longer?

  No. She’d said she forgave them and couldn’t wait to see them. The only reason she hadn’t called or texted since then was she had to be exhausted. Everything was fine. It had to be.

  When he couldn’t stand being in his condo with nothing to do but wait any longer, he went to Adam’s, and found he’d been up for hours as well. “Are we making a huge assumption here?”

  “I hope not. God. How many times have we asked ourselves that this weekend?”

  “I know. Maybe we should have talked to her first and then found the house and the collar?”

/>   “For a couple of guys who made it through med school and spent years working in a war zone, we’re fucking idiots.”

  Travis nodded, more nervous now than he’d been earlier. “Yeah. We are. Let’s just go there now. Surely she’s up already. I can’t wait any longer.”

  “Let’s at least call her first.”

  “Okay.” Travis called, but she didn’t answer her phone. “Maybe she’s in the shower.” He texted her, asking if they could come over early. When a half hour went by and they still hadn’t heard back from her, a nagging thought occurred to him. What if she’d picked up another shift? But why would she have told them she’d see them at noon and then picked up a shift without letting them know?

  They should have called her this weekend. They should have done more than simply text her, but they’d been busy looking at homes, and had decided that to barge in on her in the ER wouldn’t be the right thing to do. She’d be tired, and it would be awkward before they could all sit down and talk in private.

  Had that been the wrong assumption?

  Adam called the ER and reached Karen, confirming that Loreen was not working that day.

  “Let’s just go over there. She’s probably not near her phone.”

  She didn’t answer the door, and now Travis was worried. He couldn’t help but imagine she’d felt the same way earlier in the week, and suddenly understood why she’d been so confused each time he’d tried to talk to her. He was such a fucking asshole. If he lost her, he’d never forgive himself. Never.

  “We have a key,” said Adam.

  Travis finally agreed. He had to know if she’d given up on them, once and for all.

  She wasn’t in the condo. They walked through it several times, but it was obvious within a few seconds inside that she wasn’t there. Her shower was wet and she’d left dirty breakfast dishes in the sink, so at least she’d been there recently.

  “It’s not noon,” said Adam. “We told her noon. Maybe she ran out for something?”

  Of course. That had to be it. But why then wasn’t she answering her phone? They waited until 12:15, and finally Adam admitted she had blown them off.

  “But where is she then?” asked Travis. He thought about everything that had happened since Adam left the ER Tuesday, including what an ass he’d been to Loreen as they waited for Luke to drive them home. He cringed inwardly as he recalled how he’d treated her when she’d wanted to drive to Wisconsin to look for Adam, because she thought he’d gone to Lissa’s grave.

  That was it. “Fuck. I know where she is. Come on.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Loreen had never felt self-conscious talking to Pete’s grave. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to speak to a dead person, because she didn’t believe he was gone. Not really. His spirit lived on, and she had to believe he could hear her, even if he wasn’t capable of letting her know that.

  She told him about Travis and Adam, and what an ass she’d made of herself over them lately. She asked him to forgive her, and hoped he understood she was simply lonely. So lonely. Then she told him that they’d moved on, and she hoped he didn’t hold that against them.

  “You knew them both much better than I did. Don’t hate them for what they did. I tried to make them happy, Pete, but I messed it up.”

  “No you didn’t.”

  Loreen yelped, whirling around at the sound of a male voice. When she saw Adam and Travis, she let out a loud exhale and sat on the ground, shaking. “Jesus. You two scared me half to death.”

  They knelt next to her and Adam took her hands. “You did not mess it up.” He cut his gaze toward the headstone. “We have many things to say to you but I can’t say them here. Please come with us. Please?”

  She stared from one man to the other. “I can’t do this.”

  “You can’t do what?” asked Travis. He looked like he was going to cry, and she was even more confused now than she’d been earlier.

  “I can’t go somewhere else just to hear you two tell me it’s over. Tell me here and now. Just get it over with.”

  “What?” They asked the question at the same time, and she tried to understand what was happening as she realized they looked stunned. She’d been wrong. She’d left the house this morning to come here instead, not wanting to face the inevitable, but she’d been mistaken about their intentions. What an idiot she was.

  “We’re not breaking up with you,” said Adam. He took her hands and helped her to her feet. “Come on. We have something to show you.”

  She waited until they were in Adam’s car, and then she turned in her seat to face him. “I overheard Vicki Knowles tell Gail Sonders she saw you both downtown, and you said you were meeting someone. Then you went into Minnie’s Flower Shop.”

  Adam started the engine. “It’s not what you think. And I can’t say what I need to say to you in a cemetery. Just hang on a few minutes.”

  “Please?”

  She turned and looked into Travis’s eyes at the question. He didn’t look like a man who was about to break up with someone. He looked ready to jump out of his skin. “All right. Okay.”

  He smiled at her. “Thank you.”

  They drove through downtown and then onto Dogwood Trail, and finally pulled up the driveway of a gorgeous home. It wasn’t as large as Maddox’s, but it was certainly grander than anything she’d lived in. “Why are we here?”

  “You’ll see.” Travis looked like a kid on Christmas morning as he cl out of the back seat, then opened her door. He took her hand. “Come on.”

  Once inside, she gasped and shook her head at the interior. It wasn’t furnished, but it was beautiful. Stained-glass windows accented a few of the rooms, and the colors were light and airy. If she could have chosen a look for such a big home on her own, this came surprisingly close to it.

  “Do you like it?” asked Adam. “Please say you like it.”

  “It’s amazing. I love it. But why are we here?”

  He took her hand. “Come on. This is the best room in the place.” He led her into a room in the back that overlooked the woods. It had an entire wall of windows that opened.

  “And look,” said Travis pointing toward a corner of the room with a triumphant look on his face. “A hot tub.”

  She smiled. “It’s just like you described.” It was set into a corner, and there were mirrors on both walls. She couldn’t help imagining all the fun they could have in there together.

  “Close enough. It’s not out on the patio of a walk-out basement, but this home has one of those, too. The walk-out basement, that is.”

  Her gaze swept around the room, finally resting on three vases filled with roses of every imaginable color. Her heart began to race. “What’s going on?” she whispered.

  Adam stood in front of her and cupped her face gently. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what I put you and Travis through on Tuesday. I was a mess, but that doesn’t excuse it. I am so sorry for leaving you like that. Please forgive me.”

  “I do forgive you. I understand. I really do. You were in pain and shock. I see it all the time at work. Why should you be any different? You’re a human being.”

  “I know. Travis and I talked. He told me how concerned you were. I didn’t call you because I didn’t think I was any good for you, still so messed up like this. But I promise you I will overcome this. I have to because…because I love you, Loreen. I love you so much. I never thought I could love again, but I was wrong. And I want you with me for the rest of my life. In this house. As my lover and my sub. Please tell me I haven’t lost you. Please.”

  Tears ran down her face and he gently wiped them away. “Oh my God. I love you, too. I love both of you. And I never thought I could love again, either. I’ll do anything to help you get over this. Anything. Both of you.”

  Adam pulled her close and hugged her so tightly she could hardly take a full breath. Then he released her and Travis stood in front of her, taking her hands. “I love you, too. And I’m sorry I was such an ass to
you, and that I got so damn jealous of how you reacted on Tuesday. I thought you didn’t care for me as much as you care for Adam, and that’s why you weren’t as upset as I thought you should be.”

  “That’s not true. I love you both the same. And I was upset, just not in the same way as you were. And I have to say this since you brought it up on Tuesday. The protocols I work so hard at aren’t only for Adam. They’re for both of you. I thought we’d talked about that.”

  “We did. I’m sorry I said that. We appreciate all you try to do so much.”

  “I do love you, Travis. Very much.”

  “I know you do. Thank you. And I want you here with me, too, in this beautiful house. We filled this room with roses for you. That’s why we were downtown. We told Vicki the truth. We were meeting someone. A realtor. We bought this house.”

  “What? How can you buy a house that quickly?”

  “Well, the paperwork still has to go through,” said Adam, “but I doubt anything will hold it up. We have the money and the credit scores.”

  “In a few weeks Adam and I will both own it. And I want you here with me, too, as my lover and my sub.”

  Adam walked over to the windowsill and picked up a box she hadn’t noticed before. “And there’s another reason we were downtown. We bought you this.” He opened it and took out the most beautiful necklace she’d ever seen. It was covered in diamonds and sapphires. “They match your eyes.”

  Travis let go of her hands and took the necklace from Adam, then moved behind her and placed it around her neck. He took her hand and led her to the mirrored walls so she could see what it looked like on her, and Loreen could only stare at her reflection. This was real. They loved her. They wanted her as their lover and their sub. She had a collar. A collar. Just like the subs she’d met wore.

  She couldn’t take it all in, and started to tremble. “I’m so overwhelmed,” she whispered.

  “It’s all right.” Travis put his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. “I promise you it will be okay.”