Murder Mittens

by R. J. Blain

  While I waited, I made use of my new phone to review my general notes, amused the tiny device worked better than my old laptop. Best of all, I could observe the coffee shop from my table in the corner while I sipped at my drink. Most went about their early morning as I expected, stifling yawns and getting a morning cup of coffee to jumpstart their day. With a shield of makeup protecting me from the flinches of people who couldn’t handle scars, I enjoyed being able to watch the crowd without the crowd watching me in an equal blend of horror, confusion, and uncertainty.

  I waited for two hours, refreshing my drink several times and going to the bathroom once, before my patience bore fruit. Haverly strolled in, and if I hadn’t seen his picture in the CDC’s bounty file on him, I would’ve believed him to be just another man on the way to work.

  I made use of my new phone’s camera, pretended I read something on my phone, and recorded my target. My phone began doing its job, and I wondered how sensitive the microphone on it was. Had I been living in the dark ages out of stubborn pride? What could my new toy do?

  It would take me some time to figure out a good way to thank my uncle for my new toy.

  Haverly chatted up the women in the line with him, and I blessed my sensitive ears, which informed me the bastard flirted, complimenting the women while digging for their relationship status. The first woman wisely refused to give him the time of day. The second showed off her left ring finger, which had a wedding ring and an engagement band on it.

  The third, young enough she likely had a teen tacked onto her age, fidgeted when she drew the asshole’s attention. “Your boyfriend must be a lucky man,” he said.

  I wondered if it was a crime of any sort to flirt with an underage girl. From the day my daddy realized his little girl was growing into a woman, he’d given me one piece of advice: needing bail beat letting some asshole take advantage.

  “I don’t have a boyfriend,” she stammered.

  I needed to pull the girl aside and give her some lessons on life, especially when it came to an idiot wolf on the prowl—one with a bounty out for his living head. I picked up my hot chocolate with one hand, rose from my seat, and made a show of preparing to leave, while I kept my phone pointed at my target.

  “It’s my lucky day, then. How about I buy you a coffee, little lady?”

  I regretted having left my new scissors in my hotel with my lion. I was relieved I’d left my lion in the hotel, as it would have devolved into a brawl already.

  Sebastian had zero use for creepy abusers, and I bet he liked working the drug circuits because he got to smackdown creepy abusers every time he made a hit.

  “You don’t need to do that,” she replied, her tone uncertain. She glanced in the direction of the shop’s door.

  I’d brought down enough wolves to understand if her nerve broke and she ran, he’d chase because that was what wolves did when prey ran. I’d seen enough predator and prey responses to recognize he hunted.

  “Oh, but I do.”

  How utterly despicable. I went to the back of the line, careful to keep recording the pair, and I nudged the woman in front of me, giving a nod in the direction of my phone. She looked, and she nodded, making room so I could take her spot in line. The women needed little prodding to let me cut in line to get closer, and the men in the line frowned, staring at my phone before looking at the pair ahead of us. But, after watching for a moment, they, too, understood the problem and let me move up the line until I was behind Haverly’s potential victim.

  He was so focused on his prey that he paid me no attention.

  The stench of fear polluted the girl’s scent.

  “It’s just a coffee,” he encouraged, and he sniffed the air, smiling at what his nose told him. “What do you like in yours?”

  “If you’re buying, I’ll take mine black,” I said, looking the wolf over. “Hey, baby girl. Your dad’s outside waiting for you. He texted me.”

  Thanks to the CDC’s awful perfume, I doubted the wolf could smell much about me at all. And if he smelled male cat on my clothes, nobody would believe for a moment I was a male anything.

  The so-called baby girl whirled to face me, and her eyes widened. “Really?” she squeaked.

  “He’s a bit cranky, so you better go see what he wants,” I lied.

  I’d never seen somebody run so fast in my life, and I chuckled over her quick acceptance of the escape I offered. “That girl. I swear, she’s something else.”

  “She’s yours?” the wolf asked.

  “Oh, no. I don’t have any kids. My sister’s,” I replied, keeping my voice pleasant. “I’m working right down the street this week, and my sister doesn’t live far from here, so we run into each other fairly often.” As he lacked in base ethics and seemed to believe what his eyes told him, I moved my left hand, which held my hot chocolate, so he could see my bare ring finger. “It just happened her father texted me to ask if I’d seen her, and I’m about done with my drink, so I figured I’d spare the brat from upsetting her father further and take her spot in line.”

  “Clever,” the wolf growled. “I like clever.”

  He only thought he was clever, but as I needed to play along with his game, I kept recording him with my phone and played along. “Thank you.” I played at scrolling on my phone. “I do have to get to work soon, but if you’re offering coffee, I could use one before the day job grinds me down.”

  I wouldn’t be drinking the coffee, and if I caught the bastard doctoring the drink with his blood, I’d take him out but leave him alive.

  It took more than hot coffee to kill the lycanthropy virus outside of the body, and if I got proof he was contaminating something like a drink, I could flatten him in the coffee shop, call the cops, and be done with it—and get paid.

  The wolf looked me over, and his gaze settled on my chest.

  My virus’s ire stirred, and she wanted me to put the idiot wolf in his place.

  I needed to catch him being even more of a jackass, so when I took him down, nobody would question why he’d gotten his ass handed to him. Between my status as newly mated and on the job, if I got a little blood on my hands, as long as the blood didn’t get near anybody else, nobody would care.

  “I’d like to offer you a lot more than a coffee.”

  Hell no. Rather than scowl and give up my ruse, I made a show of considering him. “Let’s start with the coffee and your name, then.”

  “Donald. You?”

  “Christine,” I replied, grateful I’d used the name so much while working customer service I didn’t even have to think about it. Everyone in the coffee shop would laugh if they heard my real name, anyway. I adjusted my grip on my phone and played at putting in a contact. “What’s your phone number?

  He gave it to me, and I pretended to plug it in while recording his behavior.

  “How is a gorgeous little thing like you still single?”

  Normally, I’d inform him my bad attitude and scarred face tended to do the trick, but I wasn’t single anymore, and I needed some more time to get used to that. If he wanted to call my makeup skills gorgeous, I’d preen that my artistry with foundation, the right tools, and some time did a good job of tricking idiot wolves. “The unfair nature of the universe, I suppose.”

  “I could change that for you.”

  Had I been a regular human woman, infecting me with lycanthropy would definitely change my situation. “Let’s start with coffee,” I repeated, and since he expected me to be interested in him, I smiled. In reality, I wanted to throw up, clean my mouth out, and demand Sebastian adjust my attitude—and scold me for even talking to the asshole wolf—in a mutually beneficial fashion.

  “Black. You like it large?”

  Gag me. Killing and putting me out of my misery would suffice, too. “Please.”

  Fortunately for me and my flagging sanity, the barista called the asshole wolf up, and I stepped out of the line, trusting he’d order me a coffee. And, as I wanted evidence if he decided to tamper with the drink
, I’d be able to. I expected he’d cut his finger and drop some blood into my cup, which might be enough to infect me should I drink the coffee. In reality, if I caught him in the act, I’d pop him in the nose, beat him until he stopped fighting me, tie him up with his own shirt, call the cops, and have them drag his useless ass to the CDC.

  Video evidence might even land me a bonus.

  While he waited, he paid attention to the barista rather than to me, and I caught a clear image of him toying with his thumb with his nail until a drop of blood welled up. A matured lycanthrope would heal such an injury in moments, and he kept fiddling until there was plenty of blood to make a mess of my drink.

  How disgusting.

  While I made it appear I played on my phone, he fetched my drink, and sure enough, he handled it in such a way his bleeding thumb hovered over my drink, which lacked a lid and wouldn’t until he put one on it. He did, generally masking my view of his thumb from sight.

  My phone, however, captured his blood splashing into my drink before he put the lid on it.

  Fucking. Asshole.

  I stopped the video, put my phone in my pocket, and flexed my hand, waiting for the best moment to strike. He brought me the doctored coffee with a smile. “Here you go, one black coffee just for you.”

  I took the coffee, smiled back at him, and set the coffee on the counter.

  Then, because I was a bitch and wanted the entire coffee shop to know it, I drove my knee right into his groin, waited for him to double over, and slammed my elbow into the back of his neck. As that wouldn’t keep a lycanthrope stunned for long, I aimed my second elbow strike for his temple. That got him onto his hands and knees, and I grabbed the back of his shirt, pulled it up over his head, and began the serious work of transforming him into a living pretzel. “Hey, lady,” I called out to the barista, who stared at me with wide-eyed shock. “Call the cops. This asshole is wanted on grounds of spreading the lycanthropy infection, and tell the police dispatch I have infected evidence they’ll need to test. I work for the CDC.”

  The idiot, asshole wolf groaned, and I stepped to the side before giving him a solid kick to the stomach to keep him down.

  “You work for the CDC?” the barista asked. “I should tell them that?” I appreciated she didn’t question my claim much, and she picked up the shop’s phone to call as requested.

  When on an authorized bounty, I did, and I even had a card in my wallet to prove it. “Sure do.” I pointed at my coffee. “Don’t touch that unless you want to be infected with lycanthropy. And if someone could see if that young girl is around and she’s okay, that’d be great. And no, she’s not related to me, I have no idea who she is, but I wasn’t going to let some asshole try to infect her with the virus.”

  “But what about you?” the barista asked. “Won’t you be at risk?”

  “I’m already infected, so don’t you worry about a thing, ma’am.” I smiled, and I kicked the asshole wolf because I could. “Request neutralizer, however. He cut his thumb to bleed in my cup, and there might be some on the floor. Just watch your steps, folks. Sorry for the disturbance to your morning.”

  Those in the shop did as told, and I took fiendish delight in making sure Donald Haverly stayed down until the police arrived.

  Ten

  How was it hot chocolate always tasted better when nice people gave it to me?

  A cranky Sebastian, wearing a tight pair of jeans I wanted to claw him out of, stormed down the street while I chatted with the CPC representative the police had called in to confirm my bounty. The meter she carried confirmed what my phone had captured, and the amount of blood in my cup was sufficient to cause infection had I consumed the entire cup of coffee. My video, which caught the entire scene, including his behavior implying he’d meant to infect a minor, would sink his ship and flag him as a dangerous entity, one who’d spend a great deal of time in prison.

  As such, I had earned a minor scolding for beating the wolf to go with bonus pay for a job well done.

  The girl, much to my dismay, didn’t actually have a teen tacked onto the end of her age yet.

  She was an early blooming twelve, and her parents were both tall, resulting in her looking older than she was. Her parents, who discussed the situation with the police, had bought me a hot chocolate as a small way of showing their gratitude.

  How was it hot chocolate always tasted better when nice people gave it to me?

  “I woke up cold and alone,” the lion complained. “And I find you here doing what?”

  The growl in the lion’s voice gave my virus ideas, and those ideas involved returning to the resort and indulging in him before heading off to be pampered at the spa, a perfect reward for a job well done. “I got into a fight with a wolf.” I nodded in the direction of the girl and her parents. “He tried to infect that little sweetheart over there with lycanthropy. She’s twelve. He was flirting with her in line, so I skipped into the line after recording his behavior and sent her out while lying through my teeth about it. But the wolf got his ass kicked. By me.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “He didn’t even get a chance to hit me back. I kneed him in the groin and took him out like I took out my first steak last night. Maybe if he’d gotten into a pack and tried to make the most of his infection, he wouldn’t have been a useless wolf. But he was a useless wolf, so he got taken out like my steak.”

  “Is he still alive?” Sebastian asked in an amused tone. “That steak didn’t last long.”

  “Alas, he is. The cops took him away, and this nice lady is confirming my pay.” I nodded to the woman, who watched Sebastian with interest. “Libby, this is Sebastian. He’s my handler.”

  Sebastian held his hand out to shake with the woman, and he showed her his CDC card. “Sebastian Sumners. Do you need me for anything?”

  “Miss Wells has taken care of the matter, but if you’re her handler, we can finalize her bounty payment for this now. As she captured admissible evidence proving the bounty, she will be issued a bonus. She prevented any accidental infections after the target made himself bleed in order to contaminate a cup of coffee. As she is a lycanthrope, additional charges will be filed against him, as it is the equivalent of attempting a forced mating.”

  “She’s mated. To me,” the lion growled.

  Damn. It would only take a nudge or two to make him roar, but I’d be kind to everyone else for once in my life and resist the urge to antagonize him. “Yes, yes, Mr. Mane. Your territory has not been violated in any fashion whatsoever. Do not make me drop you to the sidewalk like I dropped that dumb fuck of a wolf. Behave.”

  “Ah. You two are mated?” The CDC checked her tablet. “This says you’re single, Miss Wells?”

  “He roared at me, and I find that irresistible.” As I sounded ridiculous, I shrugged. “I took pity on him, plus he likes feeding me. It turns out I really enjoy being fed. We have a relationship founded on skillfully annoying each other, and I’m easily manipulated when he roars. I really don’t see how anyone can blame me for this. His roars are quality roars.”

  Sebastian sighed. “If you could avoid marking our files with that for the moment, we are working on a bounty, and we do not want our target, should he have unauthorized access to internal files, to get wind I’ll be around. He’s targeting women of Harri’s build and appearance, so I’m backing her in the field while she acquires evidence and makes the hit. I’ll handle the paperwork myself,” Sebastian promised.

  “I can do that. I have the paperwork here for her payment if you’d like to finish processing it. We always give grace if there’s a reason, anyway. I’ll put a note to update her file effective for three months from now. If you’re hunting a bounty of a single lycanthrope, then it makes sense to keep your status unchanged for now. But please report to the CDC within the next ninety days so you can have your viruses evaluated.”

  “Easily done,” Sebastian promised. “Do you need her for anything else?”

  “Five minutes for signing of pa
perwork, and then you can be on your way,” Libby promised, tucking her meter under her arm to make it easier to work on her tablet. “It’s just confirming the payment amounts and signing off on the bounty.”

  Sebastian focused on work while I sipped my hot chocolate, and once certain the lion’s attention was locked on Libby and her paperwork, I wandered over to the girl I’d bailed out of the line. “Are you doing all right?”

  “I think so. He was just so pushy,” the girl complained. “But thank you, I wasn’t sure what to do. No one’s bothered me like that before.”

  As she’d already had her general sense of security shattered enough for one day, I decided I’d leave her parents to the tough task of teaching the girl some of the finer—and uglier—parts about being a woman. “Just pay it forward. See a woman in a similar position and she isn’t enthusiastic about her talk? Pretend she’s your best friend and give her an out, just like I did for you. Doesn’t even matter if you can’t stand her normally. Just play like she’s your best friend, stick with her, and that helps a lot. Just don’t do what I did. I played that part because I’m involved with law enforcement, and it was my job to do that.”

  “You’re a cop?”

  “Not quite, but I help the CDC out now and then.” I pointed at Sebastian and Libby. “I do things for folks like them, and when it works out satisfactorily, I get cut a check. The idiot who was bothering you has a record, and since I was aware of his record and he looked like he was trying to add another count, I became involved.”

  “That is so cool.”

  I saluted her with my hot chocolate. “And now I’m off to the spa, as I have a long day of being treated like a princess ahead of me. I just wanted to check on you before I left.”

  “Is everything okay with that guy who came up to you? He looks a bit upset.”

  “He’s only cranky because he’s a temperamental lion who wants to be treated like a prince, and I’m a cat who goes off and does precisely what I want when I want, which doesn’t involve treating him like a prince.”