Running Fire

by Lindsay McKenna

  “That’s good to know,” he said, holding her upset gaze. “You just need to speak up and tell me what’s comfortable for you and what’s not. I have a feeling you aren’t too good at communicating to others on a personal level.” He added a slight grin to take the sting out of his observation.

  Leah was hiding a whole helluva lot and he felt as if she was a mine field he had to negotiate. He wasn’t sure where to step with Leah without her becoming defensive. Like she was right now.

  Leah scowled, hit hard by his comment. She was too tired to put up her normal defenses to keep the world—and him—at bay. Kell had been nothing but kind, caring and supportive toward her. Leah waffled between evading what he’d asked and telling him the truth. She put the MRE aside, no longer hungry.

  “It’s hard for me to open up,” she admitted, her voice strained.

  “Maybe a trust issue?”

  She stared at him. Good God, he was a mind reader! Leah saw no judgment in Kell’s expression, his expression sympathetic as he held her shaken gaze. She leaned back against the rock wall and closed her eyes. “I don’t trust too many people,” she admitted wearily.

  Well, if she had been a real mine field, Kell told himself grimly, he’d have just lost his leg. The look on Leah’s face bothered him. She was a beautiful, confident, intelligent woman. A powerhouse, because she was a ball-busting Shadow pilot. Only the cream of the Army’s helo pilots ever got invited to join the 80th. And she was one of them.

  He ate the rest of his MRE in silence. Looking at his watch, he knew he had to get going to find a new hide. His old one had been compromised last night.

  Silently rising, Kell went about putting on his H-gear harness, placing six mags of bullets for his .300 Win-Mag rifle in the front pockets. Automatically, he checked his SIG Sauer pistol, made sure a bullet was in the chamber and slid it back into his drop holster.

  His mind was moving over a mental list of what he had to do. Dawn was a good time to search for a new hide location. Usually, the Taliban didn’t start moving until after first light. Prayers and tea, in that order, first. By that time, the sun was well above the horizon. He set the rifle on the wall near his ruck.

  Leah watched him, the silence heavy in the cave. It was because of her. Her prickly defensiveness. She never wanted a man to get inside her walls again. Never wanted a man to know who she was, her vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Hayden had exploited every one of them against her, took her power and controlled her to a large extent. Kell had scared the hell out of her with his simple observations. He was right that trust didn’t come easy to her. Compressing her lips, she asked, “How long will you be gone?”

  “Until nightfall,” he answered. Kell handed her four bottles of water from his ruck and set them beside her. “I want to see these empty when I get back tonight,” he told her, giving her a serious look. “There’s a cave to the right of this one. There’s all kinds of foodstuffs, ammo and boxes of water. I don’t know how steady you’ll be on your feet today, but if you get bored, look around a little.”

  “Okay,” she said. He was so damned swift and efficient, his hands flying over his gear, pulling the ruck up on one shoulder, the Win-Mag in his large left hand. He settled the boonie cap on his head. He had a pair of wraparound sunglasses hanging out of one of his cammie shirt pockets.

  Kell strode out of the cave, turned right, and Leah could hear him repacking his ruck. When he came back, he set the ruck down, strapped the Win-Mag on the back of it and then hauled on the pack. Moving his hands along the thick straps, he belted it up so it rode comfortably on his shoulders and around his waist.

  “I’m taking the sat phone,” Kell told her. “There will be no way for you to contact me.” He gestured to the cave. “No signals get in or out of here.” And then his voice became teasing. “If I had an iPod, I’d give it to you to listen to some good bluegrass music, but it’s back at Bravo.”

  She managed a slight smile, drowning in the warmth of his gray gaze. “I like bluegrass.”

  “Really?” Kell was pleased. “We have something in common.” He patted his left breast pocket. “I always carry my harmonica with me.”

  “Where were you born?” Leah couldn’t stop the personal question from flying out of her mouth. She had a million questions for this man who had saved her life.

  “Sandy Hook, Kentucky. My folks are originally from Alabama and moved us up north when I was a year old.” He crouched down near her, his eyes becoming serious looking. “Now listen, Sugar, you take it easy on yourself today. I know you’re a Type-A hotshot pilot, but right now, your wings are clipped and you need to stand down for just a bit.”

  Leah felt like the sun had suddenly come out and incredible warmth encircled her. It was Kell. It was his genuine care and concern for her. She felt heat moving from her neck into her face. At twenty-eight she was blushing? His eyes were large, intense upon her, as if she were his whole world in that moment. The sensation was hot, alive, and Leah suddenly felt her body respond to him as a man. Rocked by the unexpected sensations, she managed in a whisper, “I’ll be good. Don’t worry.”

  Kell grinned and reached out, moving a few strands away from her flushed cheek and eased them behind her delicate ear. He’d seen his care make an amazing difference in Leah. It struck him that she wasn’t used to a man’s attention. And that she was innocent. As if she didn’t know how to handle him or his teasing. Kell tucked that knowledge away, not wanting Leah to feel threatened by him. In the back of his mind, he was very sure some bastard had really hurt her emotionally. She reacted like an injured animal that was constantly being threatened. And he saw her eyes suddenly go soft when he’d tucked those ginger-colored strands behind her ear.

  He liked touching her, understanding she craved it. He craved her. That was a far different scenario. This was his territory, his world, and she was a stranger to it, thrown off guard and out of her element. It was up to him to make her feel welcomed and a part of it.

  “Take care out there,” Leah whispered as he rose fluidly to his feet.

  “Always,” Ballard promised. He lifted his hand and then walked silently out of the cave.

  *

  KELL SAW A SMALL penlight on as he approached the cave many hours later. He turned the corner and saw Leah sitting up, her gaze on him as he appeared around the wall of the cave. “How are you doing?” he asked quietly, coming over and shrugging out of the ruck.

  “Okay,” she murmured. “How’d it go out there today? Any luck?”

  He knelt down on one knee, setting the ruck up against the wall. “No luck. I had to find and build a new hide today. Took most of the day, and the Taliban was quiet in the area.” He gave her a glance, seeing that her eyes looked dull. “Are you in pain?”

  “A little,” Leah admitted, pointing to her arm in the sling.

  “I should have left you some pain pills,” he said with apology, opening his ruck. “Here—” he handed her the medication “—this will stop the pain but keep you clearheaded.”

  “Thanks,” she murmured, popping the pill in her mouth and drinking the last of the water in the fourth bottle.

  Leah didn’t want to admit she’d looked forward to Kell coming back to the cave. His skin gleamed with sweat and she could tell he’d been running. His trousers were filthy, probably from digging a hide into a rocky mountain slope. He tossed his boonie cap over on his sleeping bag. His hair was dusty, as well.

  He took off his H-gear, setting it next to the ruck. “Have you been up and about?”

  “I tried.” She pointed to her bandaged head. “Dizzy.”

  “Were you wanting to pitch forward?” he wondered, sitting down on the sleeping bag and unlacing his desert boots.

  “Yes. How did you know?”

  He smiled tiredly. “That’s a deep cut on your scalp. And I think you have a pretty good concussion. Probably a level-two variety. Most people get nausea and dizziness for two or three days after the incident.” He pulled off his boots and his
dark green socks that were soaked with sweat. Rubbing his fingers across his aching feet, he said, “I’m taking a bath over there in that pool,” and pointed to it. “Need to get clean.”

  “I’ve been looking at that pool, too,” Leah said wistfully. She wrinkled her nose. “I’m filthy.”

  “Easy to get that way out here,” Kell agreed, standing. “I can carry you over there. Give you a sponge bath?” He entertained the thought of helping her undress. All day, off and on, he’d wondered what her body looked like beneath that sexless flight suit of hers. Kell knew he’d been out here way too long.

  “No, I think I’ll be able to walk tomorrow. Maybe get cleaned up while you’re gone.” Her body reacted hotly to his suggestion, however. Leah found herself like a greedy little beggar, wanting any touch he’d bestow on her. What the hell was the matter with her? Why couldn’t she hide behind those elaborate walls she’d built up since her divorce?

  Grunting, Kell said, “I’ll get you a towel, a washcloth and some soap.”

  She watched him disappear into the cave where he had all his supplies hidden. Tomorrow, she wanted to get over there and explore his stash. Kell came back with the articles and set them near her. He had a towel draped over his shoulder.

  “Now, unless you want to see me buck naked, you might want to just lie down and face the other way?”

  “Right. No problem,” Leah muttered, embarrassed, turning over so that her back was toward the pool. Her heart was pulsing. Her desire to see him naked surprised the hell out of her. She was so drawn to his large hands—those fingers that were almost artist-like. And when Kell touched her…groaning softly to herself, Leah listened. And she wished, as she heard him walk into the pool, that she could turn around and appreciate him from a purely aesthetic standpoint.

  Kell felt incredibly clean. The water was freezing cold, dripping off the tops of the mountains that remained snowbound all year-round. He tucked a towel around his waist and walked into the other cave to retrieve a clean pair of cammie trousers and a desert-tan T-shirt. He wiped his hair dry as he reentered the cave. Leah was sitting up once again. “All clear.”

  She gulped, her gaze moving to his broad set of shoulders and his deep chest. The T-shirt stretched tautly across his upper body and it made her feel shaky inside. What was going on with her? Why was her body behaving like this? Kell looked almost boyish, that easy grin across his mouth, his gray eyes alight with mischief. The transformation was amazing. Breath-stealing. His hips were narrow, and those long legs of his… Leah felt helpless in a feminine kind of way. She’d had very few experiences with men. And they hadn’t been good ones. Did sexual libido build up after a while? Hell, she had no idea and she felt like an idiot of sorts. She could fly into the most dangerous of situations and not bat an eyelash. But let this Kentucky SEAL, with that loose, boneless walk of his, and that warm smile, walk into her life, and she was turning into a sexual puddle of sorts.

  “Hungry?”

  Oh, that was a pointed question with all kinds of innuendos, Leah thought. “Yes,” she managed, swallowing nervously.

  Kell pulled the towel across his shoulder and left for a moment, returning with two MREs in hand. Leah’s breath hitched as he knelt down on one knee near her right side. She could smell the Afghan lye soap on his flesh, his male scent that was sending her body into spasms of heat and hunger. Kell didn’t seem to be at all aware of his effect on her. He quickly opened the MRE, tore open the packets and put the plastic ware on the tray for her. Within a minute he had the main dish cooking in the heating bag.

  “There you go,” Kell murmured. “Spaghetti tonight.” He lifted his head. He was in such deep trouble. Leah’s eyes were huge, such a rich, dark green, and Kell saw gold within them. His gaze dropped to her lips, which parted as his eyes took them in. That’s all he needed right now, an erection stirring. Damn. He wanted to kiss Leah. Hell, Ballard had entertained the thought of feeling those lips beneath his mouth from the moment he’d seen her face, when he’d laid her down, unconscious, on this floor.

  Kell forced himself to get up and move. If he didn’t, he was going to be in such deep shit he’d never be able to dig himself out. She was an Army warrant and he was enlisted. He couldn’t go there even though his heart and body could give a damn less about military regs or the UCMJ.

  Feeling shaky, Leah watched Kell rise. He was at least six feet two inches tall. The breadth of his shoulders, the power of those ropy bicep muscles attested to his superb athletic condition. Mouth dry, she dropped her gaze to the food. Again, she felt heat sweeping up her neck and into her face.

  Flustered, she focused on eating. Kell was going to kiss her. She saw it so clearly in his eyes, that for a split second, she couldn’t breathe. What would it have been like to kiss this man? Leah wanted to find out, despite her past. Against her screaming brain and her memory, she wanted to kiss this SEAL! Worst of all, he was enlisted and she was a warrant. She knew better. Officers were to uphold the UCMJ, not disobey it.

  Kell sat down with his MRE, leaning against the cave wall. “When I left the cave complex this morning, I called the master chief first thing and gave him an update on your medical condition.” He glanced over at her. “He said a Major Hayden Grant was demanding you be airlifted out right now.” Kell saw her freeze. The flush in her cheeks drained instantly to white. Her mouth compressed, as if in pain. Leah looked like a deer caught in headlights, he supposed. Paralyzed. And then, Kell remembered she’d been screaming a name during the nightmare. The name Hayden. Scowling, Kell put it together, realizing it was probably the same man. But he wasn’t sure. He cleared his throat. “You okay, Leah? You look a little shaken.”

  Leah closed her eyes for a moment, wrestling with myriad emotions, mostly fear and, yeah, raw damned terror that was gutting through her right now. But Kell’s deep, drawling voice broke through the barriers that had suddenly imprisoned her. She put the packet aside, having absolutely no appetite. Looking over at him, she realized he was worried—for her. There was another emotion she felt him directing toward her: protectiveness. And she felt it surrounding her right now, invisible, but so very real and incredibly comforting to her. Kell must have seen or sensed her terror. “I, uh— That’s my ex-husband. He’s the commander of the 80th Shadow Squadron that’s stationed at Bagram.” Her voice sounded dry. Scared. Licking her lips, she said, “He’s always like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “A control freak,” Leah muttered with distaste. And sexually and physically abusive toward her, playing with her mind, her emotions. A shiver coursed through her and Leah forced herself to hold it together.

  Kell saw genuine terror in Leah’s eyes. She was easy to read, plus he had his SEAL instincts that never led him wrong and had kept him alive throughout the years. She was frightened. Of her ex? It seemed like it. He watched as her right hand shook as she placed the packet on the MRE bag.

  Something repulsive hit him. Ballard couldn’t define it. Didn’t know what it was about, but God help him, he felt it around Leah. Like a dark, ugly shadow. And she wouldn’t look at him.

  Leah forced herself to speak. “What was the decision?” The last place she wanted to go was Bagram, where she’d have Hayden in her face, making her life utterly miserable.

  “Master Chief told him no,” Kell offered. “I was going to add that the CIA is picking up a lot of radio and cell-phone chatter around the border. When that happens, it means a big push by our enemy is coming shortly. And right now, every forward operating base is on high alert. We’ve got air assets piling in to be used and every SEAL is out in teams at choke points, working with the Rangers and Delta Force operators. It’s a big assault that’s coming our way.”

  He held her shattered-looking gaze. More gently, Kell added, “You’re safer here with me for now, Leah. I know this isn’t great digs and I’m sure you’re looking forward to a hot shower and hot food…” And he was going to miss her when she left. All day, he’d been looking forward to coming home
tonight, seeing her here. Talking with her. Getting to know her. Kell couldn’t ever recall a woman making him feel like this. It was Leah, he realized. There was a special connection between them. Kell had felt it from the outset. Now, it was stronger, tighter, more palpable than ever. He could feel it and he knew Leah did, too.

  “I’d rather stay here, Kell, if I have any say in it.”

  “You have every right to have a say in your rescue. The master chief asked me what I thought you’d want to do and I took a risk and said you’d rather stay with me until we can get a safe opening to get you out of here.” His mouth crooked. “Glad I made the right call.”

  Relief flooded through her. “You did.” And then Leah shook her head. “Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself.” She said it in jest, but Kell had shown repeatedly he could read her, see right through her, ask the right question or have the correct observations about her.

  “Aren’t you going to eat?” Kell urged her in a quiet tone.

  “No. I’m…not hungry.”

  “Because you’re upset?”

  “Yes.” She shouldn’t bare her soul to Kell, but dammit, she felt like doing exactly that. He was a good listener. But she was afraid Kell would judge her if she told him the sordid story of her marriage to Hayden Grant. “I’m just not feeling good,” she muttered, setting the MRE aside.

  “What can I do to help?”

  Leah sat without reacting, but inwardly, her heart just somersaulted and her pulse began to race. Her lower body went hot and dammit, she felt the dampness between her thighs. Again. Pushing her fingers through her dirty hair, she growled, “Nothing.”

  Kell got it. Another land mine. Only this time, it had a name attached to it: Major Hayden Grant. He didn’t know the Army officer, having little interface with the 80th except to hitch a ride on one of their MH-47 helicopters.

  He finished his MRE and stood up. He had an idea, maybe something that could divert Leah’s attention to something a little more positive. He walked over and picked up her uneaten MRE. She was pale, agitation in her eyes. Kell could feel the terror around her, even though she didn’t say anything.