Burning in a Memory

by Constance Sharper

  “Stop! You’re going to hurt yourself,” she said. Adelaide picked a spot and sat back against the wall. Her ankles hurt from the landing so she took her weight off of them while doing a survey of the rest of her body. The real aches and pains would come tomorrow, but she nothing felt broken. Adam, on the other hand, was in danger of tearing out his stitches.

  He grunted but she didn’t hear him jump again.

  “It doesn’t matter. We’re not climbing out of here,” he said.

  He slapped his hands together and sat back against the opposite wall. On the floor together, there were only inches between them touching in the middle. Adelaide could feel the heat of his body. She drew her knees closer to her chest to gain another inch of distance and thanked herself for the merciful darkness concealing her face.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. It wasn’t a completely fair question. After the battle and the fall, neither of them was okay. But if he aggravated his own injury, it needed attention.

  “I’m fine,” he hissed stubbornly.

  She knew better than to ask to check the wound but hummed in discontent. Her goal of keeping him alive wasn’t going very well, but she refused to think about him bleeding out down here. In a hurry to stay out of her own morbid thoughts, she spoke.

  “How long do you think they’re going to leave us down here?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. Maybe just long enough to kill our spirit. There was no reason for them to put the lid on this place but to deprive us of any light or fresh air. It’s a war tactic.”

  He sounded like he knew all about it and the thought made her stomach churn.

  “Maybe we should’ve just let them kill us outside,” she felt possessed to say. They’d been surrounded and weren’t fighting their way out, but being trapped here made her feel like a rat in a cage.

  “Yea, maybe we should have,” he said.

  Adelaide fell quiet. Adam came off as so matter-of-factly while she tried not to panic. The shades kept them alive for a reason so they wouldn’t leave them in the pit to die now. And if they wanted to break them mentally, Adelaide wasn’t going to let them. Rubbing her hands together, she tapped her aura. It responded only weakly but it was enough to produce a flame. The tiny light flickered throughout pit. She saw Adam watching her but couldn’t see his face beyond the shadows.

  “Stop that. Save your strength,” he said.

  “Save it for what? I can’t fight them with it. I might as well give us some light.”

  She already felt exhaustion weighing down on her body but she kept it up anyway. Adam nearly burned down an entire forest with his magical fire, so she could do this.

  Adam didn’t complain about it again, but he leaned back against the wall and clutched his stomach. In the moments of silence that passed, she snuck a look at him. His shirt was covered in soot but she saw no hint of crimson. Looking away before he could complain, she watched the flame dance in her palm. If it grew cold down here, it wouldn’t generate nearly enough heat to keep them warm. Plus, she wasn’t sure how well she could concentrate while shaking. Dawn had been breaking when they were brought here. That meant they had at least ten hours before the sun left the sky and the temperature dropped. The ground would have to freeze before the insulated pit did, but if it did, they’d be in trouble.

  “Did you feel my brother at all?” Adam suddenly asked.

  She glanced up to find his eyes shut and head tilted back in concentration.

  “Just now?” she asked. They were so far in the ground and away from the main house that she couldn’t even feel the shades likely guarding the pit. He shook his head.

  “On the way here. I was hoping they would walk us through the house so I could get a feeling for his location. I think its no accident they dragged us in the way they did.”

  “Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” Adelaide had been fairly distracted on the way in. The shades hadn’t dragged her gracefully. In combination with the rough treatment, she coughed and hacked from the smoke in the air. The shades battled to put out the blaze but the place would be coated in ashes for weeks. They’d been brought through the storm doors and into a dimly lit dungeon. At the time, she sized up the basement but nothing else.

  “I can’t feel him anywhere, though, and I was looking. Either he’s not here or he’s…” Adam admitted, his words trailing off.

  “He’s stronger than us. He will last longer,” she pointed out hopefully. Adam opened his eyes to gaze at the ceiling.

  “It doesn’t matter now, I guess,” he said shortly.

  She bit her lip to stop herself from following it up with a useless answer. The short distance between them might as well have been miles and Adam wasn’t going to check his attitude at the door.

  “Who was that woman who brought us here?” Adam asked after a few minutes of silence.

  “You mean Mistel,” Adelaide said without a doubt. Upon his studying look, she continued. “Mistel was my cousin, turned shade. I told you about her in the hotel.”

  “She’s a Hawthorn?”

  “No, definitely not.”

  “Then why isn’t she with her coven?” he asked.

  Adelaide shook her head as she cradled her light source.

  “She belongs to some coven in the Midwest but she doesn’t exactly tag along with them very much. The last time I saw her, I thought she was going to be kicked out,” Adelaide revealed. The membership to a coven wasn’t exactly like a job that could be quit because you felt like it. Being kicked out of the coven meant being taken out by other members in a gang. Or at least that’s how Adelaide had understood it. She offered Mistel help the last time they were together, but the shade wasn’t going to take her up on it.

  “She belongs to another coven she doesn’t actually associate with and instead pals around with the Hawthorns? Is that even possible?”

  Adelaide shrugged.

  “I’m not an expert on what it’s like to be a shade, Adam. And Mistel hasn’t exactly been a great source of information.”

  “I’m not sure what to consider you an expert on. Honestly, I didn’t even believe you had a shade for a cousin at all.”

  She heard the bitterness in his voice loud and clear. Shifting against the wall, she drew the light closer to her body.

  “Everything I said about my life in the hotel room was true.”

  While his face was invisible, she saw him crank his head to the side.

  “So you really were adopted by a human family? That was the human family that Tony found.”

  Adelaide nodded.

  “And then you found your cousin Mistel as a shade? And she never took you or killed you even though she knew you are a mage?”

  Adelaide nodded slower this time. Adam was getting at something but she wasn’t sure what.

  “Yea. I’ve been very lucky to survive Mistel this long,” she emphasized.

  “Right. Especially since Mistel is working with the Hawthorns. In fact, the Hawthorns never did anything to you either.”

  She dropped her hands and the flame extinguished. Complete darkness only hid her frown but not the agitation in her voice.

  “What are you getting at?”

  He chuckled in the darkness.

  “I’m just not sure that luck had much to do with your survival, Adelaide.”

  “How are you still on that train? I came here to help you get your brother back and now I’m stuck in a dungeon pit with you for all of my efforts. I’m helping you and I’m being honest with you. I can’t even… Did you really get the impression that the shades up there are on my side?”

  Without illumination in the pit, she couldn’t see if any of her words got through his thick skull. Aggravation seized her and she struggled to keep her panic at bay more by the second. His silence was maddening.

  “Okay, even if you never get over your belief that I’m evil, at least acknowledge the fact that we have to work together to get out of here. Then we can finish the job, get your brother back, and I swear yo
u’ll never have to see me again.”

  He scoffed.

  “Never having to see you again being the selling point?” he asked.

  This time Adelaide didn’t answer. Her body trembled and voice threatened to break. Shutting her mouth, she pressed her forehead against her knees. Taking a few practiced breaths, she fought to keep her blood pressure down.

  Adelaide wasn’t sure how she pictured this ending if they survived. But, thinking about it now, she couldn’t see Adam forgiving her enough to maintain a friendship. Adelaide swatted at her eyes. It was stupid to expect Adam in her life, Adelaide told herself. He was never her kind of man anyway—too nice, too easily crushed, and apparently too bitter.

  “That’s fine,” she finally said when she regained control of herself. “Now what’s the plan?”

  “I don’t know,” Adam said lightly. She heard nothing in his voice that would indicate his emotions.

  “Well, when they’re done with this war tactic of torture, they’re going to let us out. Then we will be upstairs and able to fight.”

  “If we weren’t able to fight our way out last time, what makes you think that we can now?” he asked.

  She cranked her head to the side as if he could see the scandalized face she gave him.

  “Well, what then? Will Preeti or Angie come back for us? Give us the upper hand in numbers?”

  Adam let out a loud breath.

  “I don’t know,” he said.

  Unable to sit any longer, she stood and paced her tiny section of their prison. Rubbing her hands together, she revived the flame and lit up the room.

  “You must know something. Or at least have a Hail Mary plan concocted. You knew the odds of us getting caught were high.”

  She watched him in the corner. His muscles were surprisingly lax and he gazed up like he saw right through her.

  “I knew they were high, but we were out of other options,” he said quietly.

  Adelaide’s panic creeping on her, she couldn’t hear the undertones to his voice.

  “We had other options before we got here! In fact, our other option was not coming on this suicide mission. Just like I told you!”

  Adelaide heard the hysteria in her voice and knew the sound of it echoed off the tunnel. Adam still sat there stone-faced.

  “Even if we never came to save Leon, there were no other options that would have prevented the ultimate issue. We could have waited for the shades to hunt us down or we could have engaged them instead.”

  “Did I just hear that right?” she asked.

  Adam laughed dryly.

  “So, despite the fact that you have no aura and grew up human, you can’t be that dumb. The shades are hunting down mages everywhere. It’s the reason I have to live the rest of my life, if I have one, hidden away in some isolated house that I hate. And that’s assuming that shades won’t be able to get me there too. Adelaide, we are at war and we are losing it.”

  She listened but felt increasingly light headed. Adam only grew more fevered. He stood and closed the distance between them. Shocked, Adelaide nearly lost the flame that she held in her palm but she desperately clung to the visibility. Scanning his face, she tried to understand his intense expression.

  “That’s no way to live. I’m done living like that. I’d rather fight to the end,” he said.

  He broke their gaze before he finished and sat back against the wall. His words lingered in the quiet of the pit.

  The wheels finally clicked together in her mind and the realization hit her hard.

  “You knew it was a suicide mission then. You came here to die,” she whispered.

  “Go out swinging,” he chirped.

  “Are you kidding? Please tell me you’re kidding! You can’t give up—you need to fight. You need to escape and live, however rough that life is!” she gasped.

  “It’s not getting better, Adelaide. I thought about this for a long time. I don’t want to live in fear all of the time. I don’t want to live and watch my family get picked off one by one until no one is left.”

  “Adam!” She shouted but her voice was failing her. Everything she’d held at bay came crashing down at that moment. Her chest heaved but no audible sobs escaped her. “You brought Angie here to die too?” she asked. It was more than that. She felt it now and it hurt.

  Adam stiffened and looked momentarily awkward, like a deer caught in headlights.

  “She knew too. She wouldn’t have come and I wouldn’t have let her if she didn’t know,” he said. His words meant nothing in that moment. Adelaide’s fear transformed into fury.

  “I didn’t know the plan was to charge in without a plan. I didn’t know the plan was to give up after we run into one obstacle to freeing your brother. You didn’t tell me that,” she snapped. Adam averted his face. It took another minute for it to dawn on her.

  “You took me here to die,” she whimpered.

  Adam wouldn’t look at her now. He stared at the other wall as if the foot of space actually separated them.

  “I can’t have you hurt anyone else. A mage who would hurt other mages is evil. We already have enough enemies in the world. You really disgust me.”

  “Wow,” she gasped and said nothing more. That had to be the all time low blow.

  Adelaide’s eyes burned and with a single blink, tears started. She wrapped her muddy hands around herself and rocked back into the wall. Her light disappeared, leaving them in the pitch black darkness of the dungeon. The shades left the lid on their prison and they weren’t getting out. That meant she was dying for a man who hated her, and that was assuming he wouldn’t die too.

  Sobs choked out of her until she could barely catch a breath and wheezed for oxygen. Her body quaked. She finally buried her head in her knees to stifle the sounds of sobbing.

  “Stop crying,” Adam hissed.

  She barely heard him. Her hands kept trembling. Only sheer exhaustion was wearing her down.

  “Stop!” he demanded again.

  “You know nothing about me. You can sit there, all high and mighty, condemning me for my wrongs, but you’ve never had to deal with the things I have. I had no coven to protect me or teach me. I grew up utterly alone. And the way I had to survive has never been the best, but I am alive because of it. I had no intention to give that away so willingly. I want to live, Adam!”

  Her voice rose with frustration. She couldn’t contain herself in the tiny space. Her aura flailed.

  “I want to live and I risked it for you! And why? So you could give up and settle for dying? I’m such a fucking idiot. I never should have tried to help you.”

  She summoned the flame in her palm and turned to face him. She wanted to see how he looked in that moment, but a loud click from above stole her attention away. The lid of their prison disappeared and fluorescents flooded the pit, momentarily blinding them. Once Adelaide’s eyes adjusted, she saw Mistel peering down at them both.

  “Adelaide, come out and play. But just you, Adelaide.”

  Adam moved quickly and snatched her elbow but she tore it free. He had no right to touch her now.

  “Don’t go. You don’t even know what they are going to do to you,” he growled.

  “It doesn’t matter now,” she reminded him. If he wanted to die, none of this mattered. She saw him stiffen but refused to make eye contact with him now. She wiped her cheeks and acknowledged Mistel.

  “Let’s go.”

  Twenty-nine

  She couldn’t take another minute in the pit with Adam, but standing in the basement with the shades didn’t make her feel any better. Immediately, she felt their predatory gaze heavy upon her. Mistel stood with another man. He bore the raw crimson Hawthorn symbol on the back of his neck, but looked surprisingly human. His skin was distinctively tanned with no cracks and his eyes held no red. The man stared her down at her from beneath his flat-cap until she had to look away.

  “Shut up, Adam Colton!” Mistel catcalled down the pit. Since they’d pulled her up, Adam had been scr
eaming. He nearly managed to keep Adelaide down there, but now he could only thrash against the walls and curse darkly.

  “Where are you taking me?” Adelaide demanded before Mistel got a little too interested in Adam. She successfully won the shade’s attention.

  “You need to meet the leaders of the coven,” Mistel said with a smile.

  “Why?” Adelaide demanded. The male shade laughed quietly, the sound unnerving Adelaide and she drew her arms around herself. His eyes never left her and she itched under his gaze.

  “Shut up and come along,” Mistel said. She offered Adelaide her hand. Adelaide resisted but in a moment, it became clear the gesture was non-optional. She reluctantly accepted Mistel’s rock solid grip as they traversed their way through the basement.

  “Adelaide, stop!” the last of Adam’s screams reached her as she left. She ignored it and sized up the place as much as she could.

  A secondary examination of the basement was worse than the first. Chains hung from the ceiling and black stains marred the floor. Rusty tools and hints of torn clothing littered the place. The rank smell was more potent out here than it had in the hole. The dungeon was obviously familiar with the art of torture.

  Adelaide suddenly regretted coming up here. Mistel pulled her forward.

  “This way,” the male shade held the door open for them. They walked up stairs and ended up on the first floor. The interior of the building was a sharp contrast to the cellar. The inside had been carefully manicured. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling and marble tile lined the floor.

  “You never told me why the leaders wanted to meet me,” Adelaide repeated, suddenly desperate to know.

  “They just want to see you. But I’m going to be the one doing the talking,” Mistel hissed. She maneuvered them through the floors like she owned this place.

  Adelaide’s reluctance grew with every step and, soon, Mistel was virtually dragging her. Adelaide could see the windows and the burnt down forest beyond the windows. The exit waited a tempting ten feet away, but even if she broke away from Mistel, the male shade would not let her get far.