Goddess of Fire

by Bharti Kirchner

  The Englishman and his crew strolled in my direction. Did they know they’d soon witness a young girl being burned alive along with the remains of her husband?

  The voices of the villagers soared and fell over the chant, “Hari, Hari,” until the words throbbed in my head. Holding myself rigid, still hoping for my mother’s arrival, I tried to suppress a wave of nausea, but the spasms shook me and I couldn’t calm the urge. Vomit welled up out of my belly and gushed onto the ground, a sickly yellow liquid with a rotten smell, the poison of an undesirable marriage.

  The Brahmin priest, the most respected person in the village, made his way to the forefront. He wore a saffron loin cloth, his upper body bare save for a matching shawl and a three-strand sacred string placed diagonally across his chest. Everyone bowed to him. Stern-faced, eyes half-closed, his forehead marked with sandalwood paste, the priest chanted in Sanskrit, the sounds delivered in an ominous tone. The crowd fell silent. A drummer thumped a dholak. My heart beat fiercely. My schoolteacher father had educated me at home in the ancient rituals. I could pick up much of what the priest uttered. He was performing the last rites of a person. A chill coursed through my body.

  “Moorti!”

  Hope flooded over me as I heard the familiar plaintive voice.

  “Moorti!”

  At last! Ma had come here to save me. I saw myself in her—fair skin, big dark eyes, a small forehead, a tiny chin. Accompanied by a young cousin of mine, she pushed through the crowd, her threadbare blue cotton sari slipping off her shoulders. The creases on her forehead showed the strain of walking a mile from our house in the adjacent village of Kadampur. At home, about this time of the day, I would always massage herbal oil on her scalp to provide relief from frequent migraine attacks.

  Weeping and shaking, standing behind the crowd surrounding me, she extended her spindly arms. “Please, have mercy,” she gasped as she spoke to Bipin.

  Glaring disdainfully at my mother, Bipin caught hold of her upper arm and thrust her back. “Women aren’t allowed at a cremation,” he growled. “You very well know that.”

  “Don’t speak to her like that!” I shouted.

  Mother lost her footing, but managed to grab the arm of a man standing nearby. “My only daughter,” she wailed.

  A murmur of uneasiness went through the crowd. Some shuffled on their feet, as though swayed by what she said. Others continued chanting. Bipin, sensing the slight change in the crowd’s mood, passed an angry glance at me, then at my mother, and motioned to two men.

  They stepped toward her menacingly. “You’ve gone too far,” one of them said, grasping her arm. “We’ll take you home.”

  “In the name of Goddess Durga,” Mother said, “I refuse to go.” She bit his hand.

  He screamed; a dot of crimson appeared on his hand, and he yelled, “Miserable hag,” and reached out with a fist.

  The pair, now even more vengeful, pulled Mother along the dusty path. Her feet twisted on the rocks, loose pebbles rattled; the crowd was silent. I feared the punishment she would have to face when she reached home.

  “Ma!” I shouted with love and desperation, wanting to protect her. “Ma!”

  Mother turned back, eyes swollen, face pinched. “Moorti!”

  For the last time I took in Mother’s tormented face—the anguished eyes, puffy lips, high cheekbones bathed in tears—as much of it as I could store inside me. Soon she disappeared down a pathway, a blue speck through the green filter of the peepul trees, and then I could no longer see her. Only her laments echoed from the foliage.

  The Englishman and his companions had positioned themselves at a discreet distance from me. Were they simply being respectful of the sati ritual and leaving me to burn or had they heard the anguished cry of my mother and felt motivated to act?

  I strained to hear above the crisp, clear sounds of the drum as the Englishman asked Jadu in broken Bangla, “What’s going on here? Why did you drag that woman away?”

  “Moorti has decided to go to heaven with her husband,” Jadu replied, pointing at me. “It is her dearest wish and it will soon be fulfilled. Her mother is the only obstacle. We had to send her back.”

  I locked my gaze with the Englishman’s and screamed, “He’s lying!”

  His blue-green eyes first brimmed with concern, then his face became a mask of fury, the corners of his mouth tightened.

  Above the priest’s chanting, I heard Jadu ask the Englishman, “What are you and your men doing here?”

  “We’re here to buy jute and cotton and have a look around. You have a pleasant little village.”

  “Our market is closed for a holiday. This is a private event. You’re not welcome here. Go!” Jadu turned and joined Bipin a short distance away.

  Years later, sitting under a Neem tree in a garden far away from this burning pyre, he would speak of the thoughts that troubled him as he stood undecided by the pyre.

  Should he, a foreigner, get involved in a dispute over a local custom, however barbaric the practice appeared to him? For a moment he listened to the rhythmic chanting: sati devi devi sati … Why should he risk his life to save a stranger, even if she was a beautiful young girl whose eyes pleaded with him? The crowd could easily kill him. He had glanced back at the girl on the chita and realized that at that instant he was her only hope. The realization had galvanized him into action.

  The Englishman stepped back and spoke in a whisper to his people; they turned and walked back in the direction from which they’d come. He stood nearby, strong, as though he had every right to observe the proceedings and question them. I’d seen English traders before. They would arrive in our village with their bodyguards and escorts, mostly native personnel, to shop for silk, jute, cotton, spices, and vegetables; at the village market, they’d haggle and pay ridiculously low sums for bundles of goods. Afterwards, they’d carouse and sing and march through our quiet streets, disturbing the peace. They come here to steal, a few elders insisted, but they tolerated their presence. They’re our guests and all guests are divine beings, declared some others.

  The priest, finished with his shlokas, accepted a burning torch, made circles in the air with its curling orange flame, and invoked the God of Destruction. As his invocation blended with the sound of the dholak, he beckoned to Bipin who swept the torch down and poked the oil-soaked logs beneath the shrouded body of my husband, thus releasing his soul, sending forth an explosion of red sparks and billowing black smoke. I regarded my husband for the last time; pot-bellied and bad-complexioned, with graying hair and a bulbous nose. I felt no grief; my eyes were dry.

  Their faces drawn, the mourners folded their hands, shut their eyes, and mumbled a collective prayer for the deceased: “Haribol.” Take the name of God.

  The fire in the chita crackled and spat, more smoke snaked up, and the odor of burning flesh assaulted my nostrils. The priest continued his nasal incantation. Smoke and flame danced before me. The yellow heat blasted my arms, back, and feet. I thought the heat would dry up my blood. Beads of sweat gathered on my forehead, my heart pounded. Should I run? What was better? To be burned or to be hacked to pieces by the crowd?

  The priest startled me to attention as he switched to Bangla. “It is your right to be a sati, a great honor for a woman, a sacrifice of the highest order, the ultimate act of devotion you’ll show to your beloved husband. Together, you and I will recite your final prayer. Agni, God of Fire, will be our witness.”

  I shouted in a voice greater than my own, “I refuse to be burned. I was forced to marry that man. The marriage wasn’t consummated.”

  The priest’s eyes darkened with anger. “Do you understand the severe penance you’ll have to undergo? People will spit on you no matter where you go. They’ll try to take your life. When you die, you’ll be sent to narak.”

  Tendrils of hungry flame crept toward me. “I have a right to live.”

  The spectators drew closer; more dried palm leaves were added to feed the pyre; as the flames leapt higher, they s
tepped back. Any moment now, my sari would catch fire, my skin would follow. Already the fire surrounded me, consuming the flesh of my dead husband, consuming the sandalwood and the bamboo pallet, and devouring the last the air that was left for me to breathe.

  The Englishman was closing in on the priest with determined strides. His people, who had returned from the boat, had planted themselves behind him, each man clutching a bamboo baton.

  The Englishman struck out at the priest’s chest, a small but powerful strike delivered with an open hand. The priest slipped and staggered backward. I gaped, awed by the Englishman’s boldness, by the violent light in his eyes. No one in our community, in that part of the Bengal province, would ever hurt a priest; they feared punishment from the gods. The chita was a raging inferno. Columns of smoke, ashes, and sparks swirled skyward.

  Face twisted, lying on the ground, the priest screamed: “How dare you touch me, you beef-eater? You’ll go to narak for this!”

  Bipin lunged at the Englishman, but before he could deliver a blow, his adversary pivoted, grabbed him by his collar, and pushed him back. Bipin swayed and made a feeble effort to strike back, but the Englishman again took him by the collar and tossed him onto the dust. Bipin lost his balance and crumpled on the ground. Finally, I had a chance to escape, but the flames and the spectators blocked my path.

  The crowd observed the assault, their eyes bulging in fear and shock, but no one advanced upon the Englishman. Drawing nearer, so near that any moment now he would catch fire himself, the Englishman plucked me from the pallet, draped me over his shoulder, and strode toward the river. Grasping his tunic, I clung to my rescuer’s back. With each stride he took, my hips and belly bounced painfully on his broad shoulders, I found it difficult to breathe. His feet sank into the muddy earth and he fought to increase his pace. His bodyguards trotted along, forming a shield around us.

  “Swine,” someone screamed from behind. “Bastards! Thieves! Goondas! They’re abducting our sati.”

  A wave of villagers came rushing behind us. What if they grabbed me and hurled me into the blazing fire?

  The Englishman mumbled to me in accented Bangla, “Please be assured we’ll protect you.”

  Before I could utter a word, his voice soared and he ordered his bodyguards to launch an attack. They turned and began to wield their bamboo batons, clobbering whoever came into range. I could hear shrieks of agony behind me.

  A feeble voice cried out from among our pursuers: “Stop the goondas.”

  My husband’s relatives rained down a hail of rocks, battering the ground around us, striking the guards. One hit my upper back and I cried out, but I still nursed a sweet sense of victory. I sent a prayer of gratitude to the River Mother for sending me this savior.

  Although wishing to maintain my modesty, I clung tightly to the comforting shoulders of the Englishman. I could feel beads of perspiration penetrate the hibiscus oil that covered my body and dampen his tunic. My heart raced, my soiled white sari smelled of ash and smoke, I was scared, numb, but I was still breathing, could feel the breeze on my face, and admire the blue-black ripples of water lapping about the Englishman’s shoes.

  At that moment, he, a stranger in an irate crowd, felt a sense of victory as he climbed onto the boat and gently lowered the girl he had rescued on a bench under an awning. He was grateful to be alive.

  Lying there on a bench on the weather-beaten deck, too ashamed to look into his face, I studied the Englishman’s hands. Big and rough, they trembled; he, too, must have been petrified. He stepped aside, his milky complexion reddish from the exertion.

  Flying rocks, splattering like rain, splashed into the river and struck the floor of the boat. Startled, I sat up, covered my head with the train of my sari, and craned my neck to look over the side of the boat. Shouting, shaking their fists, my in-laws hurled stones from the edge of the water. Hadn’t they punished me enough? Everyone on the boat, including the white-turbaned oarsmen, ran here and there, seemingly disoriented. One rock barely missed me but thumped a crew member on the shoulder. “Bojjat!” he cursed.

  The Englishman’s eyes narrowed with mean delight. He cursed in English, picked up the fallen rock, and hurled it back toward the shore in a long arc. A yelp from the shore was followed by an exchange of insults. The crowd drew closer, some even waded into the water. What if they surrounded the boat? My stomach clenched.

  “Chalo!” the Englishman shouted, his nostrils flaring. The two boatmen hurried to take their places. One of them muttered a prayer: “O God Shiva, please guide us on our journey.” With grim determination, they slipped their oars into the water. With a groan and a clatter, the boat pulled away from the shore and into the fast-moving river. A few more rocks crashed on the deck. My persecutors, still yelling, remained assembled on the shore. Soon the burning pyre, peepul trees and coconut palm groves lining the bank disappeared from view, leaving behind only flecks of leafy green, the murmur of water, and a trail of foam in our wake.

  I turned my head to view the yellow mustard fields and the mango tree. I remembered those times, carefree and rebellious, running through such fields, twirling in the sunshine, climbing the mango tree, plucking its ripe fruit and savoring its golden flesh, the juice sticky on my chin. I saw myself feeding the shy, long-tailed monkey that hid near the river bed.

  I slumped on the cold hard bench of the boat; the last thing I remembered was the monkey and the thud of my head hitting the wooden floor.

  TWO

  A perfume of spices mixed with sharp smelling salts under my nostrils brought me back to consciousness. Lying on the hard bench, I heard men’s voices and snatches of conversation. A pair of eyes closely scrutinized me. My instinct was to stand up and flee from this odd dark gaze, but my legs wouldn’t cooperate; they tingled in dreadful anticipation of what would happen to me. I trembled as I recalled how close I had come to dying.

  “Sahib, sahib, the girl is waking up,” said the young man watching me, as his hand, cupping the smelling salts, moved away from my nose. In a pleasant voice, he said, “Please don’t try to get up too quickly. You’ve been unconscious for over an hour.” With that he departed.

  My stomach contracted from hunger; I slowly sat up, feeling dizzy from the rocking movement of the boat. The sun was directly overhead, beating down mercilessly on the boat. Where was I going? I took a look around the clean, well maintained boat. A deep-water vessel, both a row boat and a sail boat, large enough to accommodate at least fifteen people, it boasted a private cabin with windows. In the center, there stood a lofty mast on which a large square white sail was raised. No one in our hamlet could ever dream of affording such an extravagant vessel, made of fine wood and shiny metal, as elegant as a heavenly bird. Nor had I ever dreamed of finding myself in such lavish surroundings. But what must lie hidden beneath that shine? How could I trust the Englishman or anyone else on this vessel? One heard stories of women being kidnapped and sold to brothels in big towns, never to be heard of again.

  The crew was scattered around; the Englishman stood nearby. I said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. “Ask the Englishman to please let me off the boat. I want to go home to my parents.”

  No response. As though they hadn’t heard my plea. Or it didn’t matter what I wanted.

  A pair of crew members carried on a conversation in Bangla. “Thanks to our lucky stars, we got away,” one said.

  “Leave it to the English, those cunning fellows,” a second replied. “My grandfather told me they came to our country at the turn of the century after the Dutch and the Portuguese. But it doesn’t take them long to seize a situation. I only wish my tunic hadn’t torn.”

  The oldest crew member, a tall mustachioed man with a glum face, pointed to a swollen spot on his shoulder and gave me a spiteful glance. He had only one eye, the right socket simply a pit covered with scar tissue. His skin was pockmarked. “I fought the hardest but got this purple beauty as a reward.” He pointed a finger at me. “All this wouldn’t have happ
ened on our pleasure trip if it weren’t for you, wretched widow.”

  “I feel bad for what you had to do for me,” I said. “Kindly tell me who you are.” I didn’t ask the other questions on my mind: Where do you come from? Where are we going?

  His one eye blazed. “You’re asking me a question, you bald-headed country bumpkin. Do you know my position in the Company? I am the gomastah, supervisor.”

  He would have continued his tirade, but his English master held up a hand; a gold ring set with rubies blazed on his middle finger. Frowning, he said, “Bass!”

  Once again, I was amazed by this Englishman who exerted authority with a light touch, who spoke my mother tongue, even if with an accent. I liked listening to his manly voice. I liked his supportive stance, like that of a shade-giving mango tree, despite the mean streak I’d noticed in him.

  The suitably chastened gomastah bowed his graying head and said to me, “My name is Tariq. I am to be your interpreter. And this is Job Charnock, Esquire, Agent of the English East India Company. He’s here to carry out the orders of the Crown, a charter from his King. But then you don’t know what a Charter is. It’s a contract between merchant adventurers and the Crown. Do you understand?”

  What did all these terms mean? Through my ghomta, I scrutinized the Englishman. Tall and square-shouldered, he was attired in a fashion similar to his crew, only more lavishly. The pearl-embroidered vest spoke of his position of power. The gleaming white tunic splashed with silver stars was soiled in places. White trousers, tight around the legs, displayed his well-muscled limbs. His slippers, embroidered with spangles and mud-soaked, appeared finely crafted. How unusual for an Englishman to dress like that. Sharp-featured and oval-faced, he had wheat-colored hair cascading in loose curls over his shoulders. The smell of fine silk lingered about him. He seemed to accept his position without assigning too much importance to it.