Firefighter Christmas Complete Series Box Set (A Firefighter Holiday Romance Love Story)

by Nella Tyler

  But in spite of knowing that Cade was off-limits, I couldn’t make myself stop thinking about him. And, I couldn’t stop thinking about how lonely I was. I had plenty of work, and I had the love of my parents and my daughter, but I wanted more.

  I wanted someone who I could come home to who wasn’t a baby. I wanted someone who could do the household chores with me, someone who could occasionally help take care of Addie who wasn’t my parents or my brother. I wanted someone who I could wake up next to and go to sleep next to.

  Almost worse than that was the feeling of restlessness that kept coming up in me every single day. Before the season had started, I’d felt a little jittery, a little tied down, every now and then.

  But as Addie started to slowly show signs of independence, I found myself getting more and more restless with my day-to-day life. The chores I did around the farm were enough to fill hours, but they were so mundane, and I’d done them for so long, that they didn’t seem to be enough to fill my mind at the same time. I wanted more than what I had—and I knew I should be grateful, but I couldn’t help it.

  I made myself get back to work on the laundry when I got back to the house, but my thoughts were full of Cade for the rest of the day, right up until he stopped by the house with Tuck and Dad to drop off the basket and thermos before heading home.

  I stayed in the house; if I went out to talk to him for a few minutes, I was certain I would end up trying to waylay him for an hour, or that I’d make it obvious to Tuck that I was into Cade. I couldn’t let my brother get his hands on something he could hold over my head.

  Chapter Twelve

  Cade

  I gathered up the tools that Robert Nelson had given me to help Tuck with the tractor. We’d come to the conclusion that fixing it was outside of our abilities, and without the tractor in operation, the fields were going to be left alone until the next day. “I hate to send you home early, but there’s not really much to do around here for the rest of the day,” Bob said with a little, almost embarrassed shrug.

  “I don’t mind,” I told him, smiling easily. “The odd half-day can be nice, as long as it’s not a normal thing.”

  “The mechanic from the John Deere store said he’d be able to come by in the morning,” Tuck pointed out. “As long as he’s on time, and has the part he needs, we should be up and running no more than about an hour late.”

  “Do you want me to wait for you to call me, or should I just come by at the usual time?” The tractor had crapped out halfway through the morning, and Tuck and I had spent the rest of the morning trying to get it pulled apart to find out what was wrong with it.

  “I think just come by in the morning; if it takes longer for the mechanic to fix the tractor, then we’ll find something else for you to do,” Bob said.

  I followed Tuck and Bob back to the house, talking about what would need to get done. Since we were knocking off hours early, we’d end up having to make the time up maybe on Saturday—certainly I was counting on staying late at some point during the week to come.

  It wasn’t the most crucial part of the growing season, but as the corn grew up and up, and the soybeans started putting on more and more leaves, losing the tractor even for half a day was going to present some problems.

  The Nelsons had to keep their crops fertilized and keep the pesticide on them—and they had to make sure that they kept the weeds down and everything straight. It would be even more important once harvest time came around. Without the tractor, they’d risk losing crops.

  I truly didn’t mind having half the day off. I considered as we walked back towards the house where I was parked that I’d maybe head over to one of my favorite fishing holes or catch a movie. I had enough money stashed in the bank that missing half of a day at work wasn’t going to make much difference. I could relax a little and come back the next day fresh.

  As we got to the house, I saw Autumn coming out through the front door, some cloth bags hung on her arm and car keys in her hand. “You weren’t able to get the tractor fixed?” Tuck shook his head.

  “We had to call the mechanic,” Tuck told her. “He’ll be here tomorrow morning. Until then, we get to knock off a bit.” I was sure that he and Bob were probably going to find different things to occupy themselves with around the property, but if they wanted to send me home, I wasn’t going to argue.

  “What are you up to this fine afternoon?” Bob tossed the toolbox I’d given him back into the back of his truck, looking at his daughter.

  “Mom’s sending me to run some errands in town,” Autumn replied. “Groceries, a few things from the hardware store, some other bits and pieces.”

  “Sounds like a good time,” I said, smiling. Autumn was looking even better than usual: she had her hair down around her shoulders, and she was in a cute skirt and a blouse, along with a pair of boots. Just the thing for the warm spring weather. If you didn’t already know, you wouldn’t think she was a mom; you’d think she might be someone from the local college.

  “Want to come with? It’ll be easier for me if I have an extra set of hands,” she said, her cheeks coloring up. “I mean, some of the stuff I’m supposed to be getting is bound to be heavy.”

  I laughed. “You want a big, strong, tough guy to carry around your purchases—I get it,” I said.

  “I’d take Tuck, but he’s got an appointment to muck out the hen house,” she said, giving her brother a quick, mocking look.

  “I was headed home,” I started to say. I did want to go with Autumn—the possibility of spending some time with her alone was tempting. But I remembered what Bob had demanded of me. I looked at my boss. “If you can’t think of anything you need me to do, Mr. Nelson…” Bob shrugged.

  “If you can be of help to Autumn, then I don’t see any problem with you going with her,” he said. “Have a good time in town!” He gave his daughter a quick smile and turned back towards the house. “Come on, Tuck—your mom mentioned there was something leaking in the bathroom and I want to check it out with someone whose eyes are a little sharper than mine.”

  “So it looks like I’m coming with you,” I told Autumn. I smiled.

  “Well—I mean, if you wanted to go straight home, that would be fine, too,” she said quickly. “You’re not on the clock or anything. I’d hate to get in the way of any other plans you might have.”

  “No plans,” I said, shrugging off the idea. “Maybe I can get some of my own errands run while we’re out? That’d at least save me a trip later in the week.”

  “It’s a deal,” she agreed with a nod.

  We got into the SUV that her parents loaned her for errands and I let Autumn drive; I didn’t even consider the possibility of asking for the keys. In a way, she was almost my sub-boss, since she was the daughter of the man I was working for. It’d be presumptuous for me to try and take the captain’s seat on this expedition.

  “Do you want to listen to anything in particular?”

  I watched as Autumn connected her phone to the stereo system. “I’m pretty open,” I told her. “As long as you aren’t going to play Enya or something.” She laughed.

  “I play it sometimes for Addie to fall asleep to, if she’s especially wound up, but it’s not my idea of driving music.” She scrolled through her music library and selected something; a moment later as she began to pull out of the driveway, turning around to take the long, dirt path up to the road, OK Go’s “Upside Down Inside Out” started playing.

  The drive into town was just as long as usual. The Nelsons’ farm was barely within the county lines. “So, what all do we need to pick up while we’re out?”

  Autumn gestured to the cloth bags she’d thrown into the backseat of the car before she’d settled herself behind the wheel. “Since we’ve started pulling some of the fruits and veggies from the garden, I’m mostly supposed to be getting staples,” she explained. “Rice, pasta, dry beans, things like that. Also, we’re out of the detergent that Mom likes and a few other cleaning products, odds and ends.”
I nodded; it seemed like the work on the farm never ended, even when I wasn’t there.

  “Then there’s a few things she needs me to get from the hardware store—little things to fix a few issues around the house. It’s a pretty boring trek, to tell you the truth; I’m glad that you’ll be with me.”

  We chatted on the way to the grocery store, and I found myself remembering the story that Autumn had told me about her daughter, and her daughter’s father. The facts had gotten slightly fuzzy in my head in the weeks since—after all, I’d been starting to feel the effects of the cold medicine when she’d told me about it. But I remembered that she’d been engaged to Titan, and that he had left her for someone else, abandoning their child at the same time.

  “Have you started planning Addie’s first birthday yet?” Autumn blushed in the driver’s seat as she pulled into a spot at the grocery store.

  “No. I’m not even sure that I’m going to try and make any kind of big deal about it,” she said. “I mean—it’s her first birthday. She’s not going to remember it, whether it’s huge or tiny. Besides, I don’t want to put myself to the stress of dealing with all the planning that comes with some huge party.”

  “As long as you get some pictures, I don’t see why it needs to be anything more than that,” I agreed. “Make her a little cake, sing her Happy Birthday, and call it done.”

  Autumn laughed. “Well, it is an opportunity to get some people to buy some things she needs,” she pointed out. “I don’t know if I’m going to throw some kind of big party, but I’ll probably invite some friends over for lunch or dinner.”

  I laughed at the idea of presents as a way to get people to buy things that Addie needed; but then I realized that it was a very real thing—that in spite of the fact that the Nelson farm was successful and Autumn had adequate support for her daughter, the lack of a father made it harder for her. She was, at the end of the day, a single mom.

  “Well, if you do decide to throw an actual party—even a small one—invite me and let me know what I can get her,” I told her. “That there is my long-future best girl.”

  Autumn giggled. “By the time she even could be, you’d be way too old for her,” she told me tartly. “But I appreciate it. I’ll keep it in mind.”

  We went into the grocery store and I took over steering the cart, letting Autumn walk by my side as we made our rounds, putting stuff into the cart as she consulted her list.

  It felt good—weirdly peaceful—to be with her, buying groceries, chatting casually. She took out her parents’ card and paid for her purchases, and I set mine aside to pay for them with my own money. I’d bought a few odds and ends I needed, like a new razor and a few bars of soap, some cereal—stuff that would keep just fine in the car while we did the rest of the things we were in town to get done.

  The hardware store obviously knew Autumn pretty well, above and beyond the normal small-town familiarity. She asked about the parts and pieces she was there to buy, and Tommy—who I knew from working construction jobs—chatted with her like an old friend.

  “You two sure are cozy,” I observed when Tommy went to go check on something in the back storage area for her.

  “You almost sound jealous,” Autumn countered. She grinned up at me. “Tommy and I had the same ninth grade math class—so we’ve been friends a while now.”

  “I think he’s got a little crush on you,” I told her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

  “He’s completely in love with Delilah Jameson,” she said, giving me a little confidential look. “Has been ever since tenth grade—just has never gotten the nerve to do anything about it.”

  I went around with Autumn as she went about the rest of her errands, picking up a few items at the dry cleaner’s, grabbing something from the family’s box at the post office, until we’d ticked off every item on the list.

  As we headed back to the farm, Autumn went a little quiet. “Something bothering you?” She licked her lips and glanced at me.

  “I was wondering,” she said slowly, “would you want to maybe stop by my place? I mean, I live in the guest house on the other end of the property, so it’s not like you’d be hanging out with Dad and Tuck. I just thought it might be nice to hang out for a bit, maybe have a beer.”

  I wanted to say yes—God, I wanted to say yes. But I took a deep breath and reminded myself of what I’d promised Bob Nelson.

  “I need to head home,” I told her, shaking my head. “Between working on the tractor and going all over town this afternoon, I’m pretty beat.”

  Autumn glanced at me again, and I saw the little flicker of sadness in her eyes, the loneliness. But she rallied in an instant and smiled.

  “Well, we’ll give it a rain check then; how about that?” I nodded, accepting that idea, even though we both knew I could never follow through on it.

  “Sounds good—sometime soon,” I said, feeling ashamed of myself for lying.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Autumn

  For once, I had a few minutes to myself: Addie was down for a nap, the chores were more or less done, Mom was at the doctor’s, and Dad, Tuck, and Cade were all out in the fields.

  For a few weeks, I had been thinking about the future—really, almost torturing myself with it. I’d sent Titan a message asking him if he ever intended to meet his daughter, since she was on the point of turning a year old. I wanted—needed—some kind of closure on the issue.

  If Titan didn’t care about his little girl, then I would move forward with my life without even considering what he might think or feel or want for Adelyn. I had been holding out hope that he at least would be interested in meeting his daughter for her first birthday or that he’d want to have something to do with her—at least, he would want to know something about her.

  It had hurt me more than I had imagined it would that he hadn’t wanted to be around for her birth and hadn’t even made the trip to see her in the week or two after she was born.

  I could understand—maybe—Titan falling in love with someone else. But Adelyn was his child. Surely, he’d at least want to know who she was, wouldn’t he?

  While I pondered that, I found my laptop in my bedroom and started it up. I could have checked my email on my phone, but I preferred to check it on my computer. I was more likely to actually reply to something that way.

  I started when I heard the start-up tone, looking into Addie’s room in the suspicion that she might have woken up. There wasn’t even the faintest sound other than her breathing, and I sighed with relief. It wasn’t just that I occasionally needed a break from constant chores and care of my daughter, but also that I knew that if she ended her nap early, she’d be grouchy and fussy all the rest of the day.

  I opened my browser, logged into my email, and took a deep breath. There were a few spam emails, a forward from one of my cousins…things that I didn’t particularly care about and couldn’t bring myself to do more than just delete, sight unseen.

  But then, as I scrolled, I saw that Titan had replied to my email—a week after the fact. At least he replied at all, unlike the other times you emailed him, I thought. The only other reply I’d gotten from Titan since he’d left for the East Coast had been his response that he wouldn’t be coming out for Addie’s birth.

  I opened the email and read. Hey, Autumn. Forgot to reply to this earlier, but Katie said I should probably get back to you. I rolled my eyes at that; apparently his new girlfriend—Katie—was reading his emails.

  I figured that considering he’d met her online while he was engaged to me, I couldn’t blame her for being suspicious. If I were the type of woman to get involved with someone in a relationship, I don’t think I’d ever be able to trust them, which was why I was not that type of woman.

  I made myself keep reading. Katie and I are really happy together, and I don’t plan on coming back to Iowa any time soon for any reason. I hope that answers your questions. He had attached a picture of himself and his new girlfriend to the email, snuggled up close o
n a couch in some bar.

  “Well,” I said to myself quietly. “He’s right about one thing: that answers my questions.” I shook my head and closed the email, setting my laptop aside.

  I told myself that I hadn’t really thought I’d ever truly see Titan again. I told myself that I had expected something like this when he didn’t reply to my email within a day or two. I tried to convince myself that I’d been expecting it ever since he’d said he wouldn’t be in town to see Addie when she was born.

  But I knew better. I’d been hoping that at least he would be a little curious about his own daughter. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore; not romantically, at least. But I had hoped for our daughter’s sake that he would find it in him to want to know who she was, and how she was doing.

  I’d been prepared to make concessions, even—I would have taken her to his parents’ place in town and dropped her off with them for him to meet her, if he’d wanted. I had obviously been completely wrong about the kind of person Titan was when we’d met…and that disturbed the hell out of me.

  Almost unwillingly, my thoughts turned to Cade instead. “Cade would never pull something like this,” I murmured, bitter and wistful all at once.

  If Cade had been engaged to someone, I had to believe that he would be loyal to her. And even if somehow he fell out of love with the mother of his child, everything I had seen of him told me that he would at least take an interest in his own child’s life.

  Sure, if I wanted to deal with all the stress and strain of filing for child support, I could go to the courts and make sure that Titan had to pay for the rest of Addie’s childhood, but I wasn’t interested in money from him. The farm was making enough money that, provided we didn’t run into any catastrophes in the next 18 years, I would be fine and so would my daughter.

  But I wanted her to have a daddy. I wanted her to have a father figure. I glanced in the direction of Addie’s room and sighed to myself. At least, I thought, she wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of having had a father and losing him. I sighed again.