Dirty Love & Filthy Lies

by C. Shell

  I refuse to call the emotion crashing down on me and making it hard to breathe jealousy. I have no claim over Ashton. We never made promises to each other. Add to that, we’ve only known each other for a short time. A few make-out sessions and exchange of personal information doesn’t put us at the point where we need to set ground rules and put a title on what we are.

  All-in-all, my reaction is unwarranted.

  So, why do I feel like I just got kicked in the nuts?

  Ashton’s watchful gaze holds mine. I don’t blink. I don’t even breathe as he takes me in., studying me like one would a monkey painting a masterpiece. Strange, yet mystifying. My chest tightens on me and just when I don’t think I can take another minute of the silence, he finally speaks.

  “Dino’s is the best. Can’t find a better pie in the city.” He motions to the bombshell tucked beside him. “I would like you ladies to meet, Leah. She’s new to the area, so any help you can give her would be welcomed. I didn’t think it was right letting her go another night without experiencing the Dino special. So here we are”

  Leah? Even her name is pretty.

  My stomach rumbles with unease. All this good food sitting before me and I think I just lost my appetite. What a shame.

  Tonight is turning into a complete and utter nightmare. I need a quiet corner to go hide in and lick my wounds. I spare the girl another glance and she smiles back at me, all sweet and nice like. I try not to squint from the brightness of her straight pearly white teeth. Maybe I’m being overdramatic in my pity party for one, but Leah comes across as being that perfect.

  She hasn’t spoken yet, and I just know the moment she does her voice will come out sounding like angels singing. Dare I say it, but I might be jealous. Just a smidgen. I don’t like seeing Ashton out on a date with another girl. The first man I take a chance on after my relationship with Conner and he’s turning out to be a man whore.

  I have the worst luck.

  Ashton’s leans his hip against the corner of my seat, and I fail at acting unbothered when his hand comes to rest on the back of my neck. The warmth from it sends a shiver down my spine. My heart pounds out a fast tune as sweat beads on my forehead, making the situation ten times worse.

  And then unbidden thoughts start rolling through my head at warp speed. Is this their first date or is it closer to their fifth? Have they kissed yet? Will their babies have her olive skin tone or his lighter one? Why does she have to be so pretty? Did I mean anything to him?

  Either Becca has gone stupid, or she enjoys seeing me at my breaking point because without preamble she does the only thing that could make this moment worse. My twisted friend opens her big mouth and happily invites them to sit with us.

  My eyes go wide. Immediately, I start on damage control. I scoff like I’m not freaking out. “Our booth is tiny. I’m sure Ashton and his…” I search for the right word and settle on, “lady friend would like their own table. We have very little leg room as it is, and he’s tall. And broad. The man is practically walking around on stilts. He needs more wiggle room and we don’t have it.”

  Lies. Everything coming out of my mouth is pure lies.

  Well, almost everything. Ashton is tall, but not so much that he would need his own table to be comfortable. Anyone with two good eyes can see that our booth is roomy enough to add two or even three people. I desperately need time alone so I can process my feelings. Seeing Ashton on a date has thrown me for a loop.

  I would say and do just about anything right now to keep Ashton and his lovely date from joining us.

  Ask me to run outside naked and I’m your girl.

  Need your car cleaned and I’m on it.

  Interested in my firstborn and I’m sure we can come to an agreement.

  Ashton’s eyebrows arch as he studies me. The corner of his lip tips up in what can only be described as a devious smile. My pulse flutters with worry as I wonder what his next step will be. Will he walk away with his tail tucked between his legs like the guilty dog he is, or will he stay and fight?

  Fight for what?

  I’m not sure, but I like seeing Ashton show some teeth.

  His hand on the back of my neck flexes as he steps closer to my side, making the air between us warm and expand. His proximity makes it hard for me to think straight. This feels like a pivotal moment where one wrong move could change everything.

  Our eyes meet and lock. I see a challenge in deep within his gaze and I’m instantly intrigued. And more than a little turned on. Waiting for him to answer Becca feels like running a marathon. My pulse is all over the place and my hands can’t stop shaking.

  With a chest-expanding breath, Ashton turns to Becca and says, “That’s an excellent idea. Thank you.” I watch with my mouth agape as he helps his companion into the space next to Becca before sliding into the spot beside me.

  With the ease of a cat, he leans back in the seat, shoulders relaxed, and legs spread wide as he takes up more room than necessary. It should be a crime for any man to be so good looking. The spicy pepper and garlic scent that I’ve enjoyed since we walked through the door is all gone. Now all I smell is him. And damn if Ashton doesn’t smell like a wet dream.

  It’s unnerving, to say the least.

  Wanting to put as much room between us as possible, I inch my way toward the wall on my other side. The cheap bench seat creaks in protest, announcing to everyone at the table my intentions. I don’t get very far before Ashton’s hand darts out and lands heavily on my thigh.

  With a quick tug, I’m yanked right back over next to him, only this time we’re so close we’re practically taking up one space. “What the hell?” I sputter. Electric heat courses through my body and it takes everything in me to keep from leaning in closer. Like a moth to a flame, I want more despite the destruction it will bring.

  It’s too much.

  He’s too much.

  My eyes fly forward and when they land on Leah, who is watching our interaction with a look of envy on her face, I wince. It makes me want to punch him in the balls. My feelings for Ashton aside, I have no intention of hurting Leah. I’m a big believer in girls before bro’s and Karma coming back to bite you in the ass when you deserve it.

  Everything about tonight is so fucked up.

  Brows furrowed, I do my best to ignore the man beside me and shove a big piece of garlic bread in my mouth. My emotions are so shot I don’t even taste the food in my mouth. I’m mad, sad, frustrated, and above all that, I’m turned on. I.

  Becca disregards my mini freak out and starts up a conversation with Leah. A lover of gossip, she puts on a smile while doing what she does best. Becca digs for juicy information.

  “Welcome to our little corner of the world, Leah. My name is Becca, and that’s Emma,” she says pointing at me. I give a little wave, feeling all kinds of awkward. “If you don’t mind me asking, what made you want to move here?”

  Leah looks at Ashton and bats her doe-like eyes before answering. Her voice isn’t anything like I imagined. It’s worse. It’s sweet with a dash of huskiness. Her tone is a mix of the girl next door and a porn star. From her looks to her voice, Leah is practically every heterosexual males’ dream woman. Lucky me.

  “I moved here for work. I’ve only been in town for a few days now, but I already love it here. Everyone has been so nice and helpful.”,

  “A few days isn’t much time at all,” Becca hums in response. “It’s good that you’re already making friends.” She looks across the table at Ashton with a shit-eating grin on her face. “And with our very own Ashton no doubt. In case your eyes aren’t working right, he’s a catch. You’re a lucky girl.”

  Oh, shoot me now.

  My eyes roll back in my head so hard I’m surprised I didn’t give myself a concussion. Becca needs to stop this now before I blow a gasket and make a total ass out of myself. Dino’s is a favorite of mine, and the thought of being banned for life for harming an innocent woman who wouldn’t stop making goo-goo eyes at my future man would be
tragic.

  “I do feel very lucky,” Leah gushes, batting her long lashes while stealing glances at the smug bastard sitting beside me. “Ashton’s been great. I’d just finished unpacking my last box tonight when he showed up at my door and thought we should go out and celebrate.” She throws her arms out with excitement. “And here we are.”

  My teeth grind in a very un-lady like way. Not that I’ve ever considered myself a lady. My anger mounts as my mind continuously laminates over the fact that Leah has only been here a few days and Ashton already knows where she lives. He never once mentioned her during our frequent texts. I shouldn’t care. I also shouldn’t want to bash Leah’s head into the table, but yet the idea has merit.

  I frown, hating how he’s already gotten under my skin.

  Ashton gives me a sidelong look. I cross my arms in irritation and the jerk’s lips twitch like he’s fighting back a smile. Fuck him.

  I refuse to give Ashton any extra attention, not even when he rests his arm around the back of our booth and that delicious smell that is all him invades my space. Becca continues her invasive questions and Leah answers each one without missing a beat. She takes Becca’s inquisitiveness with an easy stride.

  I tune everyone out as I stew in my annoyance.

  I just wanted an enjoyable night away from studying and instead, I get Barbie and Ken throwing their new budding love fest in my face. A small part of me screams that I’m being overdramatic, but I’m past reason. Reason went out the door the same time my hunger did. I’m about five seconds away from giving in to my much-needed temper tantrum when the waiter arrives, breaking the tension between us and setting a Dino’s special down between Ashton and Leah.

  “So how do you two know Ash?” Leah asks, grabbing a slice of pizza. She takes a bite and her and moans her happiness. I’d add that sound to my spank bank if I were into women, but I’m not, so the obscene noises coming from her just adds to my annoyance. “This is amazing. You were right, Ash. This is the best pie I’ve ever had.”

  Ash? Nicknames are reserved for someone you’ve known forever. They rank right up there with tattooing, a lover’s name on your ass. It’s personal and intimate. Just how well does Leah know Ash? I mean Ashton.

  I see red and before the dipshit beside me can process what’s happening, I’ve scooted clear across the long booth. My body is practically hugging the brick wall and my legs tucked neatly under me. I’m making it clear that I don’t want to be fucked with.

  Becca looks across the table, and we share a look. She sees the pain I keep under lock and key. If needed, Becca will have my back. She’s my ride or die. The jam to my peanut butter. The butter on my warm toast. I could go on -and-on, but you get my drift.

  A hardness flickers in Becca’s eyes and I pray to all that is holy that she behaves. I give her a small shake of my head, silently pleading with her not to do anything outlandish, but the moment she opens her mouth, I know I’m doomed. How silly I was to hope for something as simple as a quiet night out.

  “I have a little obsession with piercings and tattoos. The more the merrier and Ashton’s parlor is the best around.” She smiles and points her garlic breadstick at me. “My Emma just got her tattoo cherry popped. Our boy here did the honors. It was glorious. Very little blood and a lot of talent on his part. She came out of that room smiling like a girl on prom night.”

  Oh, good Lord.

  “Becca.” I hiss her name in warning. Unlike myself, who prefers to avoid confrontations, Becca thrives on them. She enjoys rattling cages and pushing limits. I can feel the heat of embarrassment climbing up my face. It’s all too much. I’m stuck in this stupid booth with nowhere to go and no way to hide.

  I open my mouth but can’t speak. My tongue feels weighted down with sand. Ashton sees the look on my face and starts laughing, his shoulders shaking with the effort. Becca is good with words; I’ve got to give her that. I’m stuck between being royally pissed off and completely mortified over Becca’s description of me getting inked.

  “It was an honor really,” he snorts. “There is something special about being a girl’s first. It was memorable for me as well.”

  Someone, please shoot me now.

  Leah is either a Saint or dense. She completely bypasses the talk about my cheery being picked and continues talking as if nothing is amiss. It’s weird. “You’re a customer at Ink Slingers. That’s awesome.”

  I frown. We’re sitting at a table having dinner with the owner of the shop and Becca is wearing a sleeveless top with her arm tattoos on display. You would think Leah could put two and two together and figure that one out right away. Maybe I’m giving her too much credit. She might have a flaws after all. Leah might be a pretty face, but I don’t think she’s the sharpest crayon in the box.

  “That’s so cool,” Leah responds, before taking another bite of food. “You should let me design something for you next time you come by. I’m partial to doing black & white designs, but I can incorporate color into it if you prefer. I just updated my portfolio before moving here. You’re welcome to look through it anytime.”

  Color me confused.

  I glance to Becca for clarification on what nonsense Leah is spouting, but her brows are as wrinkled as mine feel. While I’m mentally scrolling back through our conversation, putting what pieces I can together to form something that makes sense, our waiter scurries over and delivers the check. Becca and Ashton grab for it at the same time, but Ashton has moves like a ninja and scoops it up before she gets a good grip on it.

  “Tonight, is on me,” Ashton says, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “It’s the least I can do for sharing your booth and helping Leah and I celebrate her new job.”

  I forgot that Leah mentioned they came here to celebrate something.

  Curiosity gets the best of me. “What’s the new job?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest. I hold my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. If she turns out to be a runway model or brain surgeon, I’m throwing in the towel.

  Ashton gives me a meaningful look that has me sitting up a little straighter in my seat. His voice is soft when he speaks. “Leah is my new hire at Ink Slingers. She moved here from Michigan to start a life with her long-distance boyfriend. My other employees would’ve joined us, but we had a full schedule tonight and they couldn’t get away.”

  And all the little puzzle pieces that make-up Leah finally fit into place. I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Leah’s your employee? She works at Ink Slingers?”

  “Isn’t it great,” Leah exclaims, in her sweet as honey voice. “I’ve followed Ashton’s work since high school. When I saw his online ad looking for a new artist, I knew it was destiny. My boyfriend and I have been wanting to take our relationship to the next level and this job opportunity was like fate telling us it was time. I threw everything I had into the back of my old car and left Michigan the following day.”

  Ashton throws a wad of bills on the table and then leans back in his seat and stares at me.

  He doesn’t move.

  Doesn’t say a word.

  The man doesn’t blink.

  I suck my bottom lip between my teeth, my face burning hot with humiliation. I can’t believe that Leah works for Ashton. She’s not his girlfriend or his date. She’s only an employee with a serious boyfriend she seems to care about.

  I let my emotions get the best of me. Never once did I ask a single question on who she was, I just let my imagination go away and jumped to all the wrong conclusions. I acted like a complete asshole. A jealous one at that.

  And Ashton knew.

  The entire time I sat beside him stewing in my rage, he could haev said something to set the record straight.

  But he didn’t.

  The satisfied glimmer in his eyes is proof that he knew all along what I was thinking. Not only that, but he enjoyed bringing my green-eyed monster out of hiding. Screw him. I glare back at Ashton, and he laughs.

  He. Fucking. Laughs.

  My feelings are a
jumbled mess. I don’t know if I want to knock him on his ass or crawl into his lap and ride him like a wild bronco. I’ve always been a straight shooter. Games are for babies or assholes with too much time on their hands. If I like you, then I keep you piss me off. If I find you annoying or an asshat, then I’ll tell you so and never see you again.

  Life is too short to mince words.

  If he were anyone else, I would drop him like a hot potato. But he isn’t anyone else, and for unknown reasons I still like him. We’re still staring at each other, our eyes locked in a war that promises no win in sight. I can hear Becca and Leah talking about the latest tattoo trends, but their chatter is nothing but background noise, just like everything else around us.

  “Why?” I ask, cocking a brow.

  It’s a simple question, but one that holds a lot of weight. Yes, I was stupid for jumping to conclusions, but he isn’t innocent either. If we’re to continue dating, then I need to know why he let me make a fool out of myself.

  Ashton edges closer to me. His eyes drop to my lips and when he speaks, his voice is low for only me to hear. “I needed to make sure you were really into me. Texting is impersonal and can be misconstrued. When I realized that you weren’t just pissed at me for interrupting your dinner, I was curious to see what you would do when pushed. You aren’t like other girls. You surprise me at every turn, and I like it. I like you.”

  I devour his words.

  His answer is honest.

  Real. Raw

  And just what I need to hear.

  Sparks of excitement dance across my chest. Being around Ashton is like being surrounded by thousands of fireworks going off all at once. He’s too exhilarating to walk away from.

  “I like you too,” I tell him, going for the truth. “What I don’t like are childish games,” I begin, taking my time so he can see how serious I am. “If you want to continue what we’ve started then you need to cut the crap and get real with me. No games and no pissing contests. It’s honesty all the way, no matter how shitty or hurtful it might be.”

  “Do you two need a room? I can stay at Patrick’s tonight if you like,” Becca says, watching us.