The Heart Knows It

by Julie Allan

  The three friends got out of the car, “Now doesn’t that feel good to get that all out?” Amy hugged Lizzie close to her.

  Lizzie hugged her back, “Yes it does. Surely things won’t get any worse than this.”

  M.A. ran over and knocked on the wooden street pole, “I wouldn’t jinx it if I were you.”

  The sharp winter sunshine made the day feel warmer than its fifty-five degrees. Savannah may be called the sister city of Charleston, but it has charms unique and magical of its own. They walked through some of the squares admiring the architecture. They had lunch at a charming bistro and shopped at the unique storefronts along the riverfront. The day ended with a fine dining experience before piling back in the car for the drive home. Lizzie resisted the urge to check in at home. Aunt Dorothy had promised she would let her know if there were any problems and the phone had not pinged all day.

  The car flew back towards home through the darkness. Inside, Lizzie felt light and refreshed. When the car pulled up to the house, the porch light was on to greet her. “Thank you, girls, thank you for knowing me so well and knowing what I need. You both are truly part of my heart. I love you.”

  Amy leaned over and hugged her. “I love you too, my sweet sister. The smartest thing my brother ever did was marry you.”

  M.A. got out of the car so she could move up to the front. She opened the door for Lizzie. “You better call when you need to cry.” She embraced Lizzie then got into the car.

  “I promise, I will.” Lizzie climbed the steps to the door and turned to wave as the car pulled away. She quietly entered the house knowing everyone else would be asleep. Maddie and Monroe, tails wagging came to greet her, and she took them into the kitchen for a treat. She could see Aunt Dorothy’s light was out, so she headed upstairs and peeked in on each of the children. Both were sound asleep. Lizzie grabbed her pajamas, washed up and changed in the bathroom before crawling into bed.

  Bennett’s arms came around her. “Did you have a good time?”

  Lizzie snuggled into him. “Yes. Thank you, my love, I know you put the girl’s plans in motion.”

  Bennett kissed her forehead. “I will never stop looking out for you.”

  Lizzie yawned, “Right back at you.” Then with one more yawn, she drifted off in the safe harbor of Bennett’s arms.

  Dot sat at the table surrounded by cookbooks. While Lizzie cleaned up the breakfast dishes, she watched the heavy gray clouds move across the sky. She could see the white caps out on the harbor. Lizzie had promised Dot a lesson in making homemade noodles. Dot was trying to select the rest of the menu for supper. Bennett was working on a monster puzzle with Sawyer at the game table in the living room. Aunt Dorothy was getting ready for her usual work at the church and lunch out with the ladies of the guild.

  “So have you made a decision?” Lizzie wiped her hands dry and joined Dot at the table.

  Dot flipped the pages and pushed the book towards her, pointing to her selection. “I think this one.”

  Lizzie raised her eyebrows. “Alfredo, huh . . . That’s decadent. It’s fine with me as long as we make a veggie side or a salad to go with it.”

  Dot cocked her head and scrunched up her nose. “How about that zucchini thing you do in the oven? That might be better for Daddy.”

  Lizzie smiled. She loved that Dot was thinking about what Bennett might need. “I will teach you how to make it. We better make a list of what we need to get from the market. I know we need cream for the Alfredo.”

  Lizzie grabbed the magnetic pad off the fridge and added cream and zucchini to the running list. “Alright, let’s get dressed then we can head to the market, and I can treat you to lunch out.”

  Dot headed for the stairs, “Bet I can beat you!” She disappeared before Lizzie could answer.

  Lizzie double checked the list. A knock on the door snapped her head up. “Aunt Dorothy, I think JoAnne is here.” She could hear Sawyer greeting her at the door.

  “I’m ready.” Aunt Dorothy entered the kitchen with her purse on her shoulder. “I’ll be home around one-thirty or so, as usual.”

  “I think Dot and I will be home about then as well, ready to get busy in this kitchen.”

  Aunt Dorothy stepped into the hall to meet up with JoAnne and Lizzie heard the door close as they left. She popped her head into the living room. “After I’m dressed, Dot and I are going to head out. Are you sure you two will be fine here on your own?”

  Bennett and Sawyer looked up from the puzzle, “Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison.

  “Okay, then . . .” Lizzie started up the stairs just as Dot already dressed with her purse strap across her chest came flying down. Lizzie looked at Dot, “I know . . . I’ll be ready fast . . . I promise.”

  Lizzie was true to her word and fifteen minutes later the two were pulling out of the neighborhood onto Coleman Boulevard.

  “It’s a little early for lunch, and I don’t want to go to the market before, so what do you say to going and getting you a couple of bras?” Lizzie glanced over to gauge the reaction on Dot’s face.

  At first, Dot was excited about the idea. “Really, do you think I’m ready for one?” She unconsciously moved her hand across the small bumps that were beginning to rise from her chest.

  Lizzie didn’t think a bra was necessary for Dot physically, but she suspected it would be a good idea for her emotional growth. “Yes, I think now is a good time.” She smiled at Dot. “You will be thirteen in just a couple of weeks.”

  Dot smiled back. “Finally a teenager! But . . . What if someone sees us?”

  Lizzie could feel the anxiety roll off of Dot. “I doubt it. I’m going to take you to a boutique not far from Shem Creek that only sells ladies’ lingerie.”

  “Okay, but don’t tell Daddy.”

  “Dot, I can’t keep secrets from your daddy, but I promise he won’t embarrass you about it.” Lizzie pulled into the parking lot for the boutique and turned off the engine.

  The salesperson was very helpful in getting Dot measured and helping find appropriate selections. Dot was too embarrassed to let the salesperson help her in the dressing room, so Lizzie helped her try them on. They left with three training bras wrapped in tissue in a fancy bag and Dot wearing one under her shirt.

  Dot kept putting her hand up to her shoulder to feel the strap through her clothes. “Do you think anyone can tell?”

  Lizzie swallowed hard to keep from laughing. “No, no one can tell. Where would you like to go for lunch?”

  “You might think this is odd, but I want to go to The Biscuit Box.”

  Pleasantly caught off guard by the request, Lizzie turned back onto Coleman and headed that direction. At least she knew they would get VIP treatment. Knowing their supper tonight was going to be calorie laden; Lizzie settled for the warm vegetable salad with vinaigrette, served with cheese straws. Dot went for the grilled pimento cheese, and a side of hand-cut sweet potato chips. Lizzie passed on dessert and opted for some hot tea, while she watched Dot devour a slice of brown sugar pie. So far the day with Dot was pleasant. They talked about plans for her birthday celebrations. At first, Dot wanted a big sleepover at the house, and Lizzie worried a battle would erupt over it. As soon as Lizzie mentioned that might be too much for her daddy right now, Dot decided a spa party with a few friends would be fine with her. Relieved, Lizzie made a note in her phone to call and make reservations for Dot and three of her friends. Maybe I’ll make a reservation for me with M.A. and Amy.

  Once they were back at home with the groceries, and Dot had secured her boutique bag in her room, they strapped on their aprons and began the lesson on making noodles. Dot found it surprisingly easy, although messy. Lizzie taught her by having her duplicate her moves, side by side. Lizzie showed her how to make a well in her flour mound and break the eggs in, then pull the flour in gradually forming the dough. She demonstrated using the pasta cutter and Dot was forming noodles like a pro in no time, layering them between floured towels until cooking time. As the mea
l prep progressed, the rest of the family stuck their heads in to give encouraging remarks. At the table, Bennett forced himself to eat with gusto. Sawyer was profoundly disappointed that there weren’t any leftovers. Dot beamed with pride, touching her shoulder and chest all through the meal. Fortunately, Sawyer didn’t notice, and the adults knew better than to comment.

  As Lizzie and Bennett got into bed, Bennett sighed. “I guess my little girl is growing up.”

  “Yes, she made a fabulous dinner with very little help.” Lizzie fluffed her pillow.

  “No, I meant her new bra.”

  Lizzie looked at Bennett, “I guess her continuous touching gave it away.”

  Bennett shook his head, “It was a white bra under a white shirt. Even I know that means you can see it.”

  Lizzie laughed. “My husband the lingerie expert. Whatever you do, don’t make any comment about it to Dot. She is mortified at the idea of you knowing.”

  Bennett kissed Lizzie good night. “My lips are sealed. Let’s just hope Sawyer doesn’t figure it out.”

  Lizzie closed her eyes. Only one more week of chemo and three of radiation, they were getting through this with their normalcy intact.

  Chapter 15

  Four weeks into the combo of radiation and chemo, the toll was evident for the whole family. Dot was argumentative and was caught lying about schoolwork. Sawyer had gotten clingy and was having nightmares. Lizzie had to reinstate the night light she had retired to a drawer two years before. Even Aunt Dorothy seemed to catch the fatigue that plagued Bennett. Lizzie often found her sleeping in her usual haunts around the house. Somehow they had made it to Wednesday and Lizzie was relieved that Scott was taking Bennett for treatment today.

  The sun was shining, and the weatherman promised the mercury would climb to the mid-sixties on this mid-February day. Once the kids were off to school and Bennett off with Scott, Lizzie spent the bulk of the morning working on the computer and doing a few loads of laundry. After a late lunch, she checked in with Aunt Dorothy, who was uncharacteristically still in bed.

  Lizzie entered Aunt Dorothy’s room to see she was still propped up on pillows watching one of the few soap operas that were still on television. “Are you doing alright? Can I get you more tea?” Lizzie sat on the edge of the bed.

  “No thank you, child. I have quite a headache today; I think I might try and take a nap.” Aunt Dorothy lifted her hand to her head.

  Lizzie witnessed the tremor she had not seen in recent weeks re-establishing itself, and she frowned. “The weather is going to be wonderful today; I think I’m going to play hooky and go for a long walk on the beach.”

  Aunt Dorothy nodded. “Are you going to take Maddie and Monroe with you?”

  Lizzie shook her head, “No, I might stop at the shop on my way back.”

  Aunt Dorothy closed her eyes. “Alright child, I will see you in a while. I love you.”

  Lizzie got up and walked around the bed to Aunt Dorothy’s side. She bent down and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you, too.”

  Inland may have been climbing into the mid-sixties, but it was still in the upper fifties on the sand. The wind whipped in across the waves, and Lizzie zipped her jacket up to her chin. The sun beat down counteracting the cold of the wind, and Lizzie set off in the direction of Breach Inlet. The beach was great for walking in the winter. Parking was free and easy, and only a few other folks were out doing the same as her. Lizzie left her phone in the car; she wanted to disconnect completely and recharge. The more she had read about taking care of Bennett during his treatment, the more she learned how important it was for her to take care of herself.

  Besides the dock at home, the beach was a sanctuary for Lizzie. In the brief years she had lived landlocked in Columbia and then Greenville, she had ached to feel the sand under her feet, to hear the waves and smell the salt air. She glanced at the monster beach houses that now lined up behind the dunes. Most of them sitting empty waiting for the summer rental season. Occasionally she would pass a fellow walker. They would exchange a wave and a smile. An instant understanding connecting them as kindred spirits and local dwellers. She stopped after a while and took off her shoes and socks. The sand was cold against the soles of her feet in the pleasant way bathroom tile feels in the heat of the summer. Skin on sand grounded her, and she continued on, swinging her shoes from her fingers.

  It took her near to a half an hour to walk down to the inlet, and she sat down to watch the waves crash. She let her mind wander and was pleased there was little to fret about. While the rest of the family had been challenging this week, Lizzie was coping remarkably well. Today and tomorrow and chemo will be over! At least she hoped they would not need to go through another round. Once they were done with Bennett’s treatment, she needed to get a check-up for Aunt Dorothy. The return of the tremors was concerning. At least Dot’s birthday party was booked. All she had left to do was get her presents together. Sawyer, she needed to make time to sit and talk with him. Lizzie suspected his clinginess and newly re-kindled fear of the dark were related to his witnessing the effects of treatment on Bennett. Things had been tough for Bennett, but he was coping. He managed to work here and there, and milkshakes laced with protein powder had kept him going.

  Lizzie sat there for the better part of an hour, sipping from her water bottle, before deciding she had better head back. A half an hour later she stopped on the boardwalk and brushed her feet off before putting her socks and shoes back on. She walked towards to car and was startled to see Amy standing there leaning against it.

  “What are you doing here?” Lizzie called to Amy.

  Amy held out her hands, “Here, give me your keys and get in the passenger seat.”

  Lizzie obeyed. Instinct told her something must be very wrong. Her heart dropped into her stomach, and her knees buckled, threatening to give out on her.

  All she could do was look at Amy, wanting to know, but at the same time dreading what was coming. Had Bennett taken a turn for the worse?

  Amy unlocked the car and reiterated for Lizzie to get in. Again Lizzie obeyed. She buckled her seatbelt and managed to get a question formulated. “How bad are things with Bennett?”

  Amy pulled out onto Palm Boulevard towards the Isle of Palms connector. “It’s not Bennett, thank goodness. But we do have two family members at the hospital.”

  “Who?” Lizzie’s mouth went dry, and she fumbled with the cap on her water bottle.

  “Now I want you to listen while I tell you what happened. But, before I do I want you to know everyone is going to be okay.” Amy glanced over to Lizzie and Lizzie nodded back.

  “I got a call from Sawyer’s school around two. They had tried to reach you and Bennett and had been unable to. He fell off the monkey bars, and the school nurse was pretty sure he broke his arm. Mama was with me at the time, so she and I went and picked him up and got him to the emergency room. By that time, Faith had gotten over to your house to pick him up for Karate, not knowing what had happened and found Dot in a panic.”

  Lizzie inhaled sharply. “Dot is hurt too!”

  Amy reached over and patted her arm. “No, no . . . Dot was worried because Sawyer had not gotten home yet and she was trying to talk to Aunt Dorothy, but Aunt Dorothy every time she tried to talk, her words were coming out garbled.”

  Lizzie felt herself go cold. Aunt Dorothy . . . stroke . . . Tears welled in her eyes. “Is she . . .” Lizzie couldn’t finish.

  Amy reached again and this time grabbed Lizzie’s hand. “No, Faith recognized what was happening. Don’t forget she was there when my mother had her stroke. She called 911 and then called me. I called Scott, and he was just getting ready to get Bennett back to the house. I called Jeremy, who got me from the hospital and dropped me off at your car and then went on to the house to help with Bennett so Scott could meet up with Faith and Dot at the hospital.

  Lizzie shook her head, “But how did you know I was at the beach?”

  “Faith found the note you left on the
kitchen table for Sawyer in case you were late getting back. I called the shop; they said they hadn’t seen you, so I figured you were still at the beach.”

  Lizzie’s mind was in a fog of information. She struggled to process it all. “Wait, who is with Sawyer?”

  “I left him with Mama, and Ben was going over to be with them.”

  Lizzie closed her eyes. “Have you heard anything from Scott?”

  “Not yet. I know you don’t want to hear this, but try not to worry. When Mama had her stroke we got treatment right away, and she does just about everything fine now, except drive.”

  Lizzie sighed, “I knew I shouldn’t have left my phone in the car.” She retrieved it out of the glove box to check the call log.

  It seemed like hours before they reached the hospital. Scott met them in the waiting area. They had just missed Faith and Dot. Scott had wisely directed Faith to take Dot home. They were running tests on Aunt Dorothy so she would have to wait to see her. Sawyer was getting a cast put on, so Lizzie headed to him first.

  Sawyer was no worse for wear. He was excited to be getting a cast for the moment. Lizzie knew the novelty would wear off quickly. Thank goodness it wasn’t pool and beach season.

  “Do you like the color I picked?” Sawyer asked as Lizzie kissed the top of his head.

  Lizzie nodded. “You can never go wrong with Clemson orange.”

  Mama Wilson rubbed Lizzie’s back. “My grandson is very brave.” She lowered her voice and leaned towards Lizzie. “We are all praying for Aunt Dorothy; I’ve been where she is, and we will get her right as rain before you know it.”

  Lizzie kissed her mother-in-law. “From your lips to God’s ears.”