Forever in Darkness (novella) (Order of the Blade #4)

by Rowe, Stephanie

  She rubbed at the skin, but nothing happened. “So, I’m not your mate?” She sounded hesitant, as if uncertain whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

  “You are my mate.” He gripped her arm tighter, unable to comprehend that there was no mark. “I know you are.” The connection between them was too great, and even the rest of his team had sensed that she was his soul mate when they’d encountered her the first time, on the mountain. “I don’t get it.”

  He released her arm, his entire soul screaming that it was wrong, that she was his. He staggered backwards, fighting against the emotions streaking through him. The loss. The raw, debilitating loss. His woman, standing before him and yet out of his grasp. Jesus. Was this the loss that would drive him over the edge? Not actual death, but an inability to cement the bond that was ingrained so deeply in his marrow that it was literally what drove him and every other Calydon male through everything they did? The instinct and need to claim his woman and make her his, to protect her as only a mate can do?

  But her arm was clear. No mark. “Jesus.” The world was spinning, and he braced himself against the wall, trying to find his equilibrium.

  Catherine stared at him, her brow creased in worry. “I felt it, too,” she said. “That connection. No one has ever affected me like that, and I thought it was impossible. Was that being a soul mate?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Crap! How had it not worked? He needed to bond with her to keep her safe, to make sure he couldn’t lose her again. “It’s impossible for my mark not to appear on your arm after we complete a stage of the bond. Impossible.”

  Catherine rubbed her hand over her arm. “Maybe I’m not your soul mate—”

  “No!” He lunged for her and grabbed her shoulders, hauling her up against him. “Don’t you feel what’s between us? Didn’t you feel what happened when we made love? You’re mine, Catherine, and I don’t know what’s going on, but I swear on this very earth that I will not stop until I find out what happened and figure out how to bring you into my circle of protection.” He swore under his breath. “Do you understand? I will not let you die again. I will not.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. “No,” she said. “You don’t understand. You won’t be able to stop it.”

  Ian went cold at her words, at her first acknowledgement that he was right about her dying before. At her claim that it would happen again. At the truth that if he didn’t figure out how to bond with her, she might be right.

  He might lose her after all.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Disappointment surged through Alice at the haunted expression on Ian’s face. How was it possible that what had just happened between them hadn’t meant anything? How had it not connected them? It had to mean something! It had been so incredible.

  She knew Ian was her chance. Her opportunity. He was the one person who had been able to get past the chains that held her down and unleash at least a little bit of who she wasn’t supposed to be. How could that not be real?

  But there was no mistaking the fact there was no mark on her arm.

  She wasn’t his soul mate, and without that, there wouldn’t have been enough between them to harness the power trying to destroy her. Defeat filled her heart. “Ian—”

  The door behind him exploded off the hinges, the steel door careening right toward them. She yelped, but there was no time to evade it—

  Moving faster than she could even register, Ian tackled her, dragging her to the side and out of the path of the door as it crashed into the wall he’d just made love to her against. He spun them out of the way, using his body to shield her as the splintered debris from the doorframe showered them. Alice ducked her head against him, then gasped when she saw a huge, shadowed male figure burst through the door. Before she could even shout a warning, he swung at Ian, a massive glowing claw aiming right for his neck—

  Ian ducked a split second before it reached him, and he shoved Alice away as he spun to face the intruder. The male’s eyes were glowing green, and he was tremendous in size, so much bigger than she’d last seen him. His pale blue oxford shirt was streaked with grease, his dress pants were torn, and dirt was caked on his jaw. “Flynn!” she shouted. “It’s me! Don’t attack—”

  “Bitch,” Flynn sneered, and he lunged for her.

  Ian leapt in front of Flynn, blocking his path toward Alice. She jumped out of the way as the two males engaged, massive muscled bodies crashing against each other. “Dammit, Flynn! Don’t do this! I need you!” She lunged toward them to stop them, and suddenly she was jerked backward.

  She spun around to see James behind her. “Why—”

  “Are you a fool? Run! He’s going to kill you!” James grabbed her and pushed her toward the doorway to the main bar. “Go!”

  Alice hesitated, and then she saw Flynn rear back to attack Ian. His eyes were blazing with such fierce hatred that it felt like a knife had been plunged into her heart. He was lost. Flynn was lost, and it was her fault. And worse yet, without him, her last hope died, now that she knew there wasn’t enough with Ian. “Dammit,” she whispered. “I can’t fail this time. I owe her—”

  Then she saw a glowing green disc slicing through the air, right at her. She yelped and dove for the door, but Flynn’s disc cut across her belly, ripping open her skin. Alice gasped and James caught her arm as she stumbled. “Go!” he shouted as he shoved her through the doorway. “Before he gets away from that Calydon!”

  Gripping her belly, Alice stumbled through the doorway into the bar, glancing back over her shoulder just as Ian threw Flynn into the room and across the floor. Flynn hit the wall beside the dart board, and no one even bothered to move when he didn’t get up. Another dart hit the board beside him, and a cheer went up for the bulls-eye. “Oh, Flynn,” she whispered as she slid to her knees, despair crushing her as the poison from his disc began to spread through her body. “You didn’t.” But he had. He’d tainted the disc before he’d thrown it. He’d used his worst against her.

  James rushed over to crouch beside Flynn and checked him, then he looked up at Alice, his face grim. “Run,” he said. “Run.”

  Flynn turned his head and looked right at her, the promise of her death blazing in his eyes. Then he rolled onto his side and started to get up, ignoring James who was frantically trying to talk him down.

  “Oh, crap.” She tried to get up, but her legs gave out, the weakness already spreading. Flynn shoved James aside and lunged to his knees. He was swaying violently, still stunned from Ian’s attack, but he wasn’t dead. He was coming for her—

  Then Ian cut off her view of Flynn. Blood was pouring from a wound in his shoulder, and his eyes were blazing with the adrenaline of battle. She froze, stunned by the power rolling off Ian. No longer did he have the aura of a man being chased by shadows and demons, a man who’d been so ravaged by the failure of his mark to appear on her arm. He was a man in control of the entire world. He didn’t even pause. He just sprinted over to her and scooped her up in his arms.

  Alice gasped at the pain shooting through her belly as he tucked her against his chest. “Ian—”

  “No.” He looked down at her as he shoved his hip against the front door and flung it open. “You don’t get to die again. It’s pissing me off. I’m taking over.”

  Then he strode out into the alley, straddled a motorcycle and locked her down in his arms.

  Alice fought for breath, the pain so intense she could barely breathe. Ian’s body was so hard and hot against hers, and she leaned into him, unable to hold herself up. Where was he taking her? “Let me go,” she gasped. “I need to try to talk to Flynn—”

  “No chance.” Ian punched the ignition, and the bike engine roared to life.

  Panic hit her at the realization he was taking her from her last hope, and she started to struggle, frantic to get free—

  Then the alley door was flung open, and Flynn charged out of it. Alice froze at the sight of him, with his green eyes, his disheveled appearance and the lo
ok of insane rage marring his sculpted features. Who was her better chance? But when she saw the promise of death in Flynn’s eyes, she knew what the answer was. Ian might be part demon, but he was the one who was keeping her alive right now, not Flynn.

  She had no choice. She had to trust Ian, this man who knew things she didn’t understand, the man whose mere touch ignited fires within her that she never should be able to feel. There was something between them. Maybe it wasn’t soul mates. Maybe it wasn’t anything substantial, but it was more than she’d ever had before. She didn’t know what it was, she had no idea how it could help her, but he was her best hope.

  Ian was her choice.

  As Flynn sprinted at them, Alice wrapped her arms around Ian’s waist and held on. Dear God, let this be the right decision.

  Ian glanced down at her, and she saw the intense satisfaction gleaming in his eyes as she turned herself over to his safekeeping. He brushed his fingers over her forehead, a tender gesture that tightened her throat. No one ever offered her comfort. She wasn’t supposed to let it happen. That wasn’t her job.

  But it felt so good, she wanted to just bury herself in this man and accept all he had to offer.

  Ian nodded at her, then he lifted his head and looked at Flynn as he closed in on them. There was a flash of black light and a loud crack, and then Ian’s mace flashed into his palm. He hurled it casually at Flynn, and the weapon slammed into Flynn’s chest at almost point blank range.

  Alice winced as the man who had once been so close to her roared with fury and flew backwards from the impact. But as Ian gunned the engine and peeled out of the alley, Alice saw Flynn rip the mace from his body and leap to his feet. He broke into a run to chase them just as Ian turned the corner and Flynn disappeared from sight.

  He was coming after her. She knew he was. Now that he had her scent, he would not stop until he had her.

  Unless the man who had her locked down against his body was able to provide a miracle.

  Then the bike hit a bump in the road, Alice gasped at the burst of pain, and suddenly Flynn didn’t matter.

  He’d already killed her.

  No! Ian’s enraged voice filled her mind

  Alice looked up in shock at the man holding her so tightly against his chest, startled by the sound of Ian’s voice in her head. You can hear my thoughts?

  I can. His eyebrows shot up in sudden surprise as he realized what he’d just said. Shit, I can! That’s good, Catherine. That’s a good sign, because that kind of connection can only happen if you’re my sheva. Is there a mark on your arm?

  Alice glanced at her skin, and there was still nothing. Disappointment flooded her. “No.”

  Crap!He wasn’t looking at her. He was watching the road, his jaw flexed, his eyes scanning their surroundings for threat, for safety, for what? The wind was whipping through his hair, making it rage wildly around his head as he sped down the street. You stay alive, Catherine. Do you understand? For five minutes, and then I’ll take over. Got it?

  Alice closed her eyes as a wave of weakness washed over her. Yeah, sure, no problem. But even as she said the words, she felt another hit of pain. You think you can keep me alive? Really?

  Ian’s grip tightened around her. Hell, yeah. Just watch. You’ll be so damned impressed you’ll want to jump me. I’m that good.

  A snort of laughter bubbled up inside her, a reaction so incongruous to her situation and her life that Alice almost didn’t even recognize it. Ian had made her laugh?

  That alone was almost worth dying for.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Ian gripped Catherine more tightly, his adrenaline raging as he felt the depths of her pain. She had no emotional shields from him, and he could feel everything she was feeling. Right now, the physical pain and her terror of death was so intense he could barely concentrate on the road. How could he feel her pain so intensely, but not be able to get past that shield inside her or get his brand to appear on her arm? Something was wrong, seriously screwed up, and he had to solve it fast. We’re almost there. Stay with me.

  He gunned the engine, knowing where he had to take her, knowing that there was only one place nearby that would have the energies to support what he needed to do…what he should not be able to do without his mark on her skin.

  Keeping his arm anchored around her, even though she was hanging onto him with surprising strength, Ian forced her to lean into the turn with him, surprised once again by her acquiescence, her absolute willingness to accept his direction and take his lead. Without her participation, if she tried to resist, he wouldn’t be able to save her.

  Panic hit him at the idea of losing her, and he immediately shoved it aside. This was his world now, not the curse, and he owned who he was. He was not going to let her die. Not this time. Fuck the brand. She was his sheva, and he didn’t need a damned mark to know it.

  A break in the woods appeared on his right, and Ian whipped the bike onto the dirt path, speeding through the trees. He hunched low over the handlebars, using his body to protect Catherine as the branches whipped past them, slicing at his face and shoulders as he raced under them.

  He broke out of the woods within moments, and the full moon gleamed as he sped down the rows of gravestones in the Fitzgerald cemetery. He drove past the newly upturned earth and the shovel he’d left behind and turned to the left, weaving between headstones as he made his way toward the one grave with the power he needed.

  Ian. Catherine’s voice was laced with pain and fear. I could use a little help here. You’re not really delivering on your promise to save my life.

  Ian chuckled at her irritated tone, so incongruous for the level of agony she was enduring. You’re so demanding, sweetheart. No wonder the boys like to kill you.

  You’re an ass.

  I can be. He reached his goal, and the bike skidded to a stop in front of the oldest gravestone in the plot, a chipped piece of granite bearing the name Augustus Fitzgerald, his ancestor who had earned the curse that had doomed all of his progeny. A man so powerful that he had been widely recognized as one of the most dominating Order of the Blade members ever to live. A man who had been so plunged into despair by the strength of the curse that he had taken his own life over a woman, an act of dishonor that had banned him from the annals of the Order for all eternity. A man who had carried such power that the earth around his grave still vibrated with the sheer raw Calydon power that had made him such an indomitable force before he’d angered the wrong warrior.

  Ian was going to take that power and use it to save the woman he couldn’t access on his own. He leapt off the bike, cradling Catherine tightly as he strode across the grass and set her down beside the marker.

  She gripped his arm as he laid her on the grass, and Ian swore as he finally saw her face. Her skin was ashen, her lips pale, her eyes glazed with pain. Denial roared through him, and he straddled her, his knees on either side of her hips. He leaned over her and took her face in his hands. “Listen to me,” he said. “You’re my soul mate, so I can heal you.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not your soul mate—”

  “You are. I knew it the first moment that we met, when you died in my arms on the mountain side. Everyone there knew it.”

  She stared at him, a furrow of confusion on her brow. “On the mountain?”

  Shit. She didn’t remember? Not that it mattered. He bent his head closer, his whole body stirring with the intensity of feeling her beneath him. “Open yourself to me, Catherine. Let me inside your soul.”

  She sighed. “No, I can’t. I’m not allowed—”

  “Screw that. You’re allowed to die?” Ian stretched out beside her and pulled her against him, wrapping his legs around hers so they were entangled along the lengths of their bodies. He closed his eyes at the sensation of her body against his. Desire rushed through him, and a sense of absolute rightness that this was where he belonged.

  And then it was followed by a ripple of fear of what it would be like if he lost her again, now that
he’d finally connected with her.

  This was how it began for each of his ancestors. Finding that woman. Finding that peace. And then the loss…the despair… and then death by the most dishonorable, most ignominious, way possible: suicide.

  Then her body began to tremble, and he didn’t care about the past anymore. All that mattered was healing her. “Okay, Catherine, you need to close your eyes and relax your mind.” He pulled her closer against him, tangling their bodies together. “I’ll pull you into my healing sleep, and use my powers to heal you.”

  “You can do that?” She snuggled closer to him and laced her hands behind his neck. The tentative feel of her fingers on his skin sent shock waves all the way through him. God, Ian. It feels so incredible to have you against me. It shouldn’t be like this.

  “Of course it should.” Rightness vibrated through him. How could this ever be wrong? He pulled her closer and pressed his lips to the side of her neck. “Just close your eyes and relax. Since you’re my sheva, I can heal you.” But even as he said the words, doubt niggled at the back of his mind about the fact that making love hadn’t made his brands appear on her arms. What if he couldn’t heal her without that mark? “Just relax.”

  Pain rippled through her, and Ian swore, placing his hand over the wound in her belly. “Hang in there,” he said urgently. “I can fix this.”

  “Okay.” But her voice was pinched with agony and fear, weak with the effort of trying to hang on.

  Ian immediately closed his eyes and let himself drift into the dreamlike state of his healing sleep. He reached out for Catherine and found her spirit immediately. She was open to him and allowed him right in. The moment he was connected with her, he felt the poison rushing through her body, like a powerful river of black water, destroying every cell it passed. Ian let his mind move past the poison, searching for the core of who she was. He could do nothing for her until their connection was so tight that it was as if they were one.