He and Amaia lay naked under the fading stars in the woods behind the cottage. The sun would be up soon. He still couldn’t believe how differently everything looked to his new vision. The only reason they’d stopped mating was overwhelming hunger. They’d burned through all their energy, and they’d need to eat before doing much else.
“You know, I never understood how Meg and Liam could sequester themselves away from the world. They enjoy some of the culture of the cities, but they’ve always been content just the two of them. I finally understand. Quite frankly, I’m surprised Meg even befriended me. How she could be interested in seeking me out when there are such plentiful and amusing diversions is beyond me.”
“So you think we’ll settle down in a nice secluded cottage of our own?”
“Perhaps.”
Michael chuckled. “You don’t have me fooled. You’d go out of your mind with boredom. After a few hundred days straight of mating, you’d start looking for other entertainment.”
“You’d like to be in the country. You never liked coming to London.”
“I never liked coming to London because it meant coming to court, which reminded me that I was only at court because my brother was dead. I’ve never had any interest in politics or scheming. You’d wither away in the country.”
“Well, the cities may not be an option for us. There’s no use making plans until we know how everything will work out with Zenas.”
“It’s never foolish to dream. Besides, now that I’m a vampire, he may very well lay the whole matter to rest.”
Amaia shook her head. “My crime is too great for that. My only hope is that with you turned, I’m no longer so offensive to him that he maintains his interest in hunting me.”
“Someone’s coming.” Michael felt a strange presence, and his entire body snapped to alertness. He didn’t just hear approaching footsteps, he distinctly felt an energy. It was the same strange sense he’d felt as a human when he knew someone was watching.
“It’s just Meg and Liam.”
“Finally. We kept waiting for you two to stop.” Meg’s voice tripped Michael’s protective instinct, but he fought it back with some effort. He knew she wasn’t a threat.
“Give us a second, Meg. We’re not decent.” Michael couldn’t control his harsh tone, probably a byproduct of his protectiveness. He pulled on his trousers as fast as he could without ruining the buttons. It was pure luck they even had their clothes with them. They had thought they’d take a little break and come outside to enjoy the weather. The break hadn’t lasted very long.
“Consider it payback for the numerous times Amaia has intruded on us.”
If Meg’s voice had nudged Michael’s protective instinct, Liam’s sent it whirling. Without even thinking, Michael jumped in front of Amaia and crouched low, ready to spring. “Stay back, Liam.” He almost snarled the words. The rational side of his brain told him he was being ridiculous, but it didn’t stand a chance against his raw need to protect Amaia.
“Shh, Michael. I feel it too, but they’re not a threat.”
“I can’t help it. I think I’d kill anyone who touched you before I could stop myself.”
“It’s probably just a byproduct of all the mating.”
“That doesn’t make it any less real.”
Liam put his hands up in a sign of surrender. “I’m not moving.”
Michael saw the understanding in Liam’s eyes and appreciated it. “I don’t want anyone around Amaia.”
“Good. You shouldn’t.” Something else crept into Liam’s expression, a little respect perhaps.
“It’s fine, Michael. We don’t need to come any closer. We just thought both of you might like to eat.” Meg’s soothing voice didn’t hold any hint of offense at Michael’s stance.
“Thank you. Hunger is what finally stopped us.” Amaia stepped forward, fully dressed. The only hint of their passion that remained was in the tousled mess of her hair. Michael moved to place his body in front of hers and put distance between them and Meg and Liam.
Meg laughed. “We figured. I remember what it was like. Are you going to try feeding now?”
“I think so. There’s no reason not to.”
“We can come with you if you like.”
“No.” Michael didn’t think his protectiveness would be a problem around humans who couldn’t harm them, but his control seemed to wear thin around other vampires. “I’m sorry, Meg. I appreciate the offer, but I’m afraid that with the state I’m in, I’d inadvertently take offense at something and hurt you or Liam. At the very least, I might cause a scene.”
“Don’t worry about it, Michael. We understand. You’re showing an extreme amount of good judgment by asking us not to come. Most young vampires do more acting and less thinking.”
It was no mystery why Amaia relied so heavily on Meg’s friendship. The woman was impossible not to like. “I don’t know how I’m going to overcome this urge to fight anyone who even looks at Amaia.”
“It won’t ever go away,” Liam said. “You’ll just eventually learn to distinguish between a real threat and an imagined one. But be careful about showing aggression the way you are now. Around the wrong vampire, it will provoke an attack.” Liam kept his palms open and up, which put Michael a little at ease. He knew that if Liam wanted to, he could still hurt him or Amaia, but the gesture was welcome.
“Thanks for the warning and your restraint. I’ll try to get it under control.”
Liam nodded in acknowledgement.
Amaia placed a hand on Michael’s arm. “Come on, love. Let’s go eat. You’ll feel better when you have some fresh blood in your veins.”
At the very least, it would be an outlet for some of his aggressive energy.
Chapter 15
Michael followed Amaia. She knew where to hunt. The realization that the prey they hunted was human elicited a grimace. He wondered if his humanity would eventually completely surrender to his vampirism. He desperately hoped not.
“I’m going to have to kill since Meg isn’t here to bite for me.”
“I can do it.”
“We’ll see.”
“Any advice?”
“Yes. Stop before you kill them.”
“Very funny, Amaia. How am I going to be able to tell?” Michael hadn’t even thought about it before.
“You’ll feel it. It’s instinctual. Try not to even approach the moment just before death. You can feed from multiple people. Remember to act like a human, and you won’t have a problem getting close enough to bite.”
“I don’t think I’m ready. How am I even going to get close enough to someone?”
“We practiced plenty over the last two days.”
“I’m supposed to kiss another woman’s neck?” He definitely hadn’t thought this through.
“Yes. It’ll be easy. Just find a woman, flirt with her, and draw her away to a secluded spot. There’s a village up ahead. I’ll help you.”
It would be so much easier if he’d just be willing to kill, but he didn’t want to give up the hope that he could refrain from taking a life. It was bad enough that he had to feed on blood at all. He’d wanted to sustain himself from energies the way Amaia had. Then again, she’d never mated before. No one knew if it was even possible to live off of energies while mating. No one had been stupid enough to try.
Michael smelled the humans long before he saw them. Without meaning to, he moved faster, wanting to eat.
“Slow down. It’ll probably be easiest to let me manipulate the energy of the person you target. I can make her think she’s in love with you. Just let me know who you want to feed from first.”
He didn’t like the idea of manipulating some innocent woman like that, but it was preferable to the alternatives.
“Remember, you’re supposed to be human.”
Michael took stock of himself, remembering to breathe even though it meant constantly smelling humans. On the road into the village, a woman passed them carrying a basket of fresh br
ead. “Her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I want to get this done.”
“She has an agreeable aura. It should be easy to manipulate.”
“Excuse me, miss?”
“Yes?” The girl stopped walking. She was very plain with brown hair and small, pinched features, not the type of woman Michael would have given a second glance to. It made him feel a little better about the situation. The thought of kissing, or pretending to kiss, someone who wasn’t Amaia made him uneasy.
“You need to say something to her. It doesn’t need to be good, it just needs to be something.”
“Might I buy some of your bread for breakfast?” God, that seemed in bad taste.
Michael noticed a hesitance in her eyes that melted away, he assumed by Amaia’s doing. “I’d be happy to share it with you.” The girl moved next to Michael, looking at him suggestively.
“You might be overdoing it.”
“You need all the help you can get. Were you this bad at flirting when we met?”
“No, but that’s because it was you. I’m better at flirting with people who are not food.”
“Let’s move off the road.” Michael led the girl into the trees. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything. Just get her up against a tree.”
Michael saw Amaia in the distance, and the sight of her gave him the confidence he needed. The girl brushed against him, and Michael wondered how much of this was her natural personality and how much was Amaia’s doing. The thought of Amaia turning a shy, timid girl into this brazen woman wasn’t pleasant. Michael didn’t even have to worry about positioning her. As soon as they came near a tree, the girl backed against it and pulled Michael to her, taking his lips in hers. As uncomfortable as the situation was, Michael was grateful that it was going to be this easy. After their kiss finished, he moved to her neck, sucking on a spot before lowering his fangs. Taking care to miss the artery, he pierced her skin.
The first drop of blood completely undid him. He sucked frantically. The taste, the warmth, the steady rhythm as it kept time with her heart—everything about it swept him into a state of ecstasy. He wondered if the difference in taste was due to this particular mortal or if it had more to do with the freshness. The girl started to slip, and Michael wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.
“Michael, stop! You’ll kill her. Don’t chase the high.”
Stopping was the furthest thing from his mind. Asking—expecting—him to stop was unreasonable. The girl’s youthful energy flowed into him, replenishing him. Her heart slowed to a faint, drowsy beat. A subtle change and Michael knew the girl teetered on the cusp of death. At that moment, he couldn’t remember a single reason why he shouldn’t keep feeding. If he kept going, perhaps he would experience the same release he had during his transformation kill. Maybe the tension inside him would finally uncoil. Amaia’s voice told him to stop, but that was only because she thought he didn’t want to kill her.
But he did.
A few more fervent sucks and the girl’s heartbeat stopped altogether. The flow of blood ceased shortly after. Michael felt the same pleasant glow he had experienced as a human when he’d had wine but wasn’t yet drunk. He should care that he’d just taken a human life, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He rested his head against the tree and let the excitement of the moment wash over him.
A hand on his shoulder prompted him to lift his head. Amaia. Her eyes were heavy with concern. Something must be wrong. “What is it?”
“You killed her.”
Michael looked at the ground where the woman lay lifeless. Vacant blue eyes stared out at nothing, surprise imprinted on her features as if she had realized too late what was happening. Her skin was paler than it should have been. Michael had seen dead bodies before, but never like this. She was white as snow because he had taken all her blood from her, blood that now filled his veins and gave him life. He even had extra in his belly to replenish it as he burned through it. Her life flowed through him.
Around her neck sat a small gold crucifix. Guilt crashed into him, twisted his gut, and brought him to his knees. “No, no, no. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“It’s all right, Michael.” Amaia knelt next to him, rubbing his back.
Michael shrugged her off. “No, it’s not all right. Not for her. Not for her family. She was so young. I didn’t mean to kill her.” But he had meant it. He had known what he was doing. The guilt suffocated him even though he didn’t need to breathe. None of this was right. Like everything else, guilt felt more intense as a vampire. It surprised him. How could he feel guilt for something that he was so clearly meant to do? Nothing made sense.
“Michael, come on. Let’s go. Let me take you home.”
“What about the body?”
“I’ll come back and take care of it. I promise.”
“So she’ll just disappear? Her family won’t ever know what happened to her.”
“Better that than they find her bloodless body.”
No one should have to go through that. Michael’s brother had died when he was mortal. He’d lived through numerous parents dying. He knew that pain intimately.
“Michael, we need to go so I can get back here.”
He let himself be pulled to his feet.
“Don’t look at her. It won’t help anything.”
Amaia was right. He already regretted the amount of time he’d spent looking at her. The woman’s face would haunt him. Yet, he couldn’t help thinking it was cowardly not to look at her, that somehow it was more respectful for him to see her, to acknowledge her and the life he had taken.
“There aren’t any humans around. We can run.” Amaia pulled him along until his feet started to cooperate.
As soon as he stretched his legs out to their full length, he wanted more speed. Amaia kept pace with him as he sprinted.
“It helps, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” The wind whipping past his face did help cleanse some of the stress away. Running gave him freedom, a sense that he could escape his problems. All too soon, they reached the cottage.
Liam looked up from a wooden sparrow he was carving, and Meg uncurled from where she had been reading a book on the sofa. “What’s wrong?”
Michael knew he must look a mess. His aura probably spiked in frenzied peaks. He couldn’t bring himself to answer Meg’s question.
“He accidentally killed a woman.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Try not to worry about it too much, Michael. We all kill our first time trying to feed. You were hoping for more than was possible.”
The words didn’t really penetrate. Michael held himself to a higher standard. He might not be as gifted a vampire as Amaia, but he certainly wasn’t normal. Nothing about his situation was normal. He’d planned so carefully, made promises to himself and to God. All of it was for naught. He’d become a killer. It was different from his transformation kill because at that time, he hadn’t been in control. This time, he’d had a choice, he knew exactly what he was doing, and he’d proceeded to kill her.
Amaia touched his back. “We’ll get through this, Michael. Everything is going to be all right.”
He didn’t know how she could promise him that. Everything most certainly would not be all right. He couldn’t allow himself to indiscriminately kill innocent humans. It didn’t matter that he needed them to live. It wasn’t right.
“I’ve got to go take care of the body. I’ll be back soon. It shouldn’t take long.”
“I can take care of the body for you.” Meg stepped forward, and Michael instinctually moved between her and Amaia.
“No, I haven’t fed yet. Thank you though.”
“Would you like some company?”
Meg and Amaia looked to Michael for an answer since it was clear she wouldn’t get past him if he didn’t allow it. He still didn’t like the thought of anyone other than himself being near Amaia, but he knew it was saf
est for her to be with another vampire instead of going alone. “Thank you, Meg. Sorry to ruin your morning. I’ll stay here with Liam.”
“You haven’t ruined a thing. It’ll be nice to have some time just me and Amaia. Someone’s been keeping her from me.” Meg winked and brushed past him to join Amaia at the door.
“Try to relax. Don’t fret. It won’t solve anything.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
The girls left him alone with Liam. Michael went to the sofa and picked up the book Meg had discarded. It seemed as good a way as any to pass the time. Like everything else, his reading speed had increased with the transformation. He found himself reading a romance novel that did not interest him enough to capture his attention and steer it away from recent events.
Guilt twisted in his gut, and he didn’t know what to do about it. The idea of praying for forgiveness seemed ludicrous, especially when there was no way for him to guarantee that he wouldn’t do it again. The guilt, while very real, wasn’t the main problem. The continual desire to kill again despite the guilt was more troublesome. How could he want something so completely and feel such crushing guilt about it at the same time? Surely one feeling should win out. Part of him wondered if he didn’t feel the guilt as strongly as he thought he did. Perhaps he only wanted to feel guilty.
God, things had been simpler as a mortal, even one who continually reincarnated in search of his vampire lover. To think that he had thought his courtship of Amaia when she was still Jocelyn was complicated. If only he’d known then.
It wouldn’t have changed anything.
“I really didn’t think I’d lose control like that. I knew I was killing her. Amaia even told me to stop, but I couldn’t. The thought of stopping was unbearable.”
Liam shook his head. “You’re not upset that you lost control. You’re upset that you killed, and that’s foolish. You’re a vampire. Being upset about killing a human is as ridiculous as a mountain lion getting upset over killing a deer. You need to come to terms with what you are.”
Immortal Echoes (Haunting Echoes Book 2) Page 9
