Marry Matthew

by Ellen Hutton

  He turned to look at her and smiled.

  “Are teachers even allowed to talk like that?” he teased

  “Only on special occasions” she replied.

  “Will you stay the night?” he asked

  “Yes, if you don’t mind me taking more than half the bed.” She replied

  “I can agree to that.” He replied

  She laughed and snuggled into him as he pulled her closer. The warmth of their closeness was so perfect that she wondered if that had all just been a dream. It was so perfect and it felt so right that she couldn’t tell if this was real or fake. The only thing she knew was that she was happy. At that moment she was happy and she hadn’t felt that secure in so long that she was eager to hang on to it for dear life.

  Chapter 4

  A week later Mary was sitting down at Terry’s house holding her youngest child Aaron.

  “You met him a week ago and already you guys have done it?” Terry asked.

  Mary blushed crimson red as memories of Matthew flooded her. Since their first night together they had gotten together every day. Some days he surprised her at school with lunch or a special pick up or she would cook dinner for him. They had spent all their nights together in bashful lovemaking after which he held her and they slept together curled up in each other’s arms

  “It’s nothing like I’ve ever experienced before,” Mary said,

  “I remember you saying that about Alex,” Terry said

  “I can’t remember ever saying that about him.” She replied, “are nothing alike. Alex was a prick and he never catered to any of my needs. Matthew is all about me.”

  She wanted to add that he was all about her in and out of bed, but she decided that he friend didn’t need that information.

  “I just think you’re moving too fast after you just broke up with Alex,” Terry said

  “To be honest, I thought that myself but I realized that the thought of Alex didn’t even cross my mind until he came to pick his things up yesterday,” Mary replied

  “How did that make you feel?” Terry asked

  “I looked at him and it was as if he was a total stranger to me. I couldn’t believe that only a week before he had been the man of my dreams.” She replied

  “And don’t you see something wrong with that?” Terry asked

  “Well, I have no idea.” Mary replied, “I just know that what I feel right now is what I want and Matthew is perfect.”

  “I can promise you that this is a bad decision.” Terry said, “You can’t love a man the day after you break up with another. It just doesn’t work like that.”

  As she listened to what her friend was saying. It was true that she was suspicious of the way her relationship with Matthew had begun. She had only just broken up with Alex and then fallen for him a day after. The realization that she could have made a mistake hit her and she cringed to think about it.

  “I think I messed up.” She said to her friend. “What should I do.”

  “You need to take some time away from all this dating and figure out what you want.” Andrea said, ”you have so much to offer, I’d hate to see you getting hurt by another man who doesn’t deserve you.”

  Mary let her friend’s wise words sink in as she rocked the baby on her lap.

  She was confident she had never felt this way for any other man and she knew that she wanted to spend more time with him. Their relationship had started at a complicated time in her life, but she was also aware that he had been there when she needed him.

  “Do you really think that’s best?” she asked

  “I know you, Mary.” Terry said, “and I know you’re eager to please and to love. Maybe its time you weren’t so eager to please but eager to be pleased. You should explore yourself and your options. After all, you’re young and you have time to do all that.”

  They were the same age of twenty-five but Terry constantly thought it prudent to call her young because she was arguably less experienced than she was.

  “I see what you mean,” Mary replied feeling hurt and disappointment like she hadn’t felt before; not even when she had found out that Alex cheated on her. Just the idea of not having a future with Matthew was hard to deal with.

  “It’s up to you though,” Terry said, “you need to make this decision.”

  Mary nodded resolving that she needed to figure out what to do. She was having dinner with Matthew in a few hours but she was suddenly unprepared to see him again. She was filled with more doubt than she had ever felt and she felt the rightness of her friend’s advice. She had only just met Matthew and although he had everything to recommend him, he was still somewhat of a stranger and she needed time to realize how her breakup really made her feel. If she took her friend’s advice it was possible that she could lose him but if it wasn’t healthy then she would be fine in the long run.

  “I should go now.” She said standing suddenly.

  Her mind was racing in all different directions and the last thing she wanted to do was hang around and watch Terry take care of her loving children. If she was to be alone she wanted to be alone for a while.

  She drove herself back to her apartment and spent an hour crying for no identifiable reason. When she knew Matthew was about to come by, she washed the tears from her face and put on a brave face. Tonight would be the last night she saw him, and she wanted it to be special, even for a few minutes. She prepared the dinner she had gotten at the Chinese restaurant and lit two candles. She had already planned the night so perfectly she thought it would be a shame to let it all down. After all, she was losing him as a lover and they could still be friends.

  He came promptly at seven with a single red rose and a bottle of wine.

  “I’ve missed you.” He said pulling her in for a long heated kiss.

  She clung to him and savored the kiss just in case it was their last chance.

  “’I’ve missed you too.” She said when he pulled back.

  “I had a great day at work today, I can’t wait to tell you about it.” He said, “how were things at school?”

  She smiled and followed him to the table where he held the chair out for her and waited for her to be seated.

  “Things went well.” She replied, “I have all my students up to code and the principal is thinking of taking on a few of my ideas.”

  “I told you they were golden.” He said, “you have a mind for these things.”

  The way he smiled at her with pure pride made her desperate to throw her plan out the window and just accept that she felt deeply for a man she had met the day she broke up with her boyfriend.

  “So what’s so special that happened at work today?” she asked trying to distract herself.

  “Well, we got a new contract from a massive company. They need both security and transportation.” He said,

  “Oh wow, so you’re going to get Liam to partner with you on it?” she asked

  Liam was his brother and the owner of his own security company. She had learned that four out of his five siblings had become business owners after their father had given them each money for capital. His youngest sister who still lived with his parents was studying medicine and was also planning to open her own private practice once she was finished.

  “Yes, he’s excited about it.” Matthew said, “he wants us to celebrate tomorrow at a family dinner.”

  She looked up at him a bit surprised to hear him ask her to go with him to see his family. It was a big step and they both knew it because he had never taken a woman to see any of his family members.

  She wanted to rejoice and the tell him she would love to meet them, but she knew she could never.

  “I think your family will be very proud of you.” She said reaching out and touching his hand gently.

  “I want you to be there with me.” He said picking up her hand and bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss.

  She waited until he lowered her hand and looked into her eyes before snatching it away. She picked up her wine gl
ass and threw back the remainder of her drink before turning her attention back to him. She saw the puzzled look on his face and knew that what she was about to say would hurt him.

  “We should talk.” She said

  “What about?” he asked

  “I don’t think this is a good idea,” she said

  “What do you mean?” he asked, “are you nervous about meeting my parents?”

  “It’s not that.” She said, “it’s you and me.”

  He stopped chewing his food and looked up at her.

  “What’s going on Mary.” He said

  “I think I jumped into this relationship too soon.” She said, “I don’t think I’ve had enough time to heal.”

  “Is this about your ex coming to collect his stuff?” Matthew asked

  “No, it’s not about him, it’s not about anyone. I just think I didn’t give myself enough time to recover.” She said, “I shouldn’t have jumped into this with you.”

  She looked over at him waiting for a response desperate to hear what he had to say.

  “Where is all this coming from?” he asked, “I thought we were having a good time, I thought you liked me.”

  “I do.” She said, “I just.”

  Her words faltered for a moment as disappointment crossed his face.

  “I just think maybe I should take some time for myself and not rush into things so speedily.”

  He was quiet, and she saw as his look of disappointment passed and suddenly his expression was blank.

  “I should leave.” He said standing and walking towards the door.

  She stood and ran after him. Just before he got to the door she held his hand and tugged him backward.

  “I want to be your friend.” She said pleadingly

  “I can’t be your friend,” he said.

  “Well why not?” she asked, “I thought you liked me.”

  He sighed.

  “You don’t get it do you?” he said, “I spend all day thinking about you, wondering if you’re alright and desperate to come back to you. I can’t be around you and not want to kiss you, or touch you or make sweet love to you.”

  “Matthew I’m so sorry.” She said

  “Don’t be,” he replied, “If this is what makes you happy then you deserve to be happy. I don’t want to intrude on your perfect life.”

  Without another word, he walked out of the door and out of her life. She covered her mouth to stifle the cries that rocked her body. As she lay there the realization that she would never be able to see the man she had so quickly fallen in love with ever again hit her and she felt as though her heart had stopped beating altogether.

  How had she made it to this point in her life? She was confident there could be no man for her like Matthew. He was perfect in every way and she hadn’t imagined she would ever feel pain like this again in her life. She fell asleep right there on the floor and awoke a few hours later only to crawl to her bed.

  Chapter 5

  It was over two months later when Mary walked into her father’s building that she remembered she had dated a man named Alex. Her days had chiefly been comprised of thinking about Matthew and wondering what he was doing and how he was. She had visited his sister’s dog café both for therapy and to see someone who looked like him. His sister had graciously passed on news about her brother to satisfy her curiosity, but the information never seemed to be enough.

  She walked into her father’s office and threw herself down into one of his chairs.

  “It’s nice to see you too,” John said

  “Not today.” She said cautioning him not to make fun of her.

  She thought she must look a sight. She was a bit more disheveled today than she usually was because of the food poisoning she must have contracted from eating a bad peanut butter sandwich from one of her students. She had been feeling unwell for a very long time and she blamed it on the bad breakup’s effect on her body.

  “How are you today darling?” he asked looking at her with his dark blue earnest eyes.

  Her father was an old man but he looked at least ten times younger than he actually was. He had attributed it to her love and his stress-free lifestyle; she knew it was really from expensive skin treatments.

  “Terrible.” She replied

  “Are you gaining weight?” he said eyeing her suspiciously.

  She had hoped nobody would notice it but to no avail. She had gained over ten pounds and she couldn’t understand why. Her diet was the same and she had been exercising more frequently.

  “Yeah, I’ve gained a few pounds” she replied.

  “Darling.” He said looking at her curiously, “I think you’re pregnant.”

  She jumped up and looked at him with wide scared eyes.

  “What?” she asked

  “You look like your mother did when she was pregnant with you.” He said, “are you pregnant?”

  The whole world went still. She began to realize all the signs she had been ignoring. The change in her appetite, the frequency of her periods. She had never had consistent cycles especially with the birth control she had been taking for years. Surely, she shouldn’t be pregnant.

  Reaching down she touched the bulge on her stomach that she couldn’t quite get rid of no matter how much she exercised.

  “Oh my God!” she whispered, “dad”

  She felt the tears rushing down her cheeks and she felt immeasurable sadness. Her father rushed to the table and pulled her towards him.

  “I’ll take you to the doctor.” He said

  In a flurry of movements, her father called them a car and took her to the best gynecologist he knew. The entire process was a blur to her. It seemed as if she was suddenly outside herself and both fear and confusion were the only things she felt.

  At the gynecologist’s office she was pushed to the front of the queue upon her father’s insistence and when she lay on the table she couldn’t believe all this was happening.

  “Is this your first pregnancy?” the doctor asked

  “Yes,” she replied, “are you sure I’m pregnant?”

  “I’m very sure.” He replied, “you’re about ten weeks along.”

  Mary gasped thinking of how foolish she must have been to have not realized she as ten weeks pregnant.

  “I had no idea.” She said feeling frustrated.

  “It’s alright.” The doctor said, “not every woman has the same signs. Your pregnancy appears to only have a mild effect on you.”

  “I take birth control.” She said

  “If you missed one or two pills you’re at risk for pregnancy.” He said.

  It was then she remembered the night of her breakup with Alex, she hadn’t taken any the day after and she had slept with Matthew.

  “I missed one day.” She admitted cheerfully. “could that have been the issue?”

  “I’m not sure.” The doctor replied, “why don’t you tell me the type of pills you take.”

  She explained her birth control to him and then explained her infrequent periods while on her birth control. It was strange to talk about all this while her father was in the room.

  “I think it’s possible that you were at your peak fertility when you got pregnant.” The doctor said, “that must have been the cause of the slip. Would you like to discuss your options, or would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

  “It has a heart?” she asked feeling suddenly nervous about the life blooming within her.

  She didn’t want to discuss her choices, she was very intent on having this baby now that she was aware it grew with her. She would think about the father when she was more composed.

  “Yes, we should set things up.” The doctor said.

  She nodded furiously, and her father held her hand as the doctor spread the cold gel over her stomach. After a few minutes, the machine was ready and he was pressing something unto her stomach. There was a sound like tiny pulsing thunderbolts in the room and she felt tears prick her eyes.

  “That’s a strong h
eartbeat.” She said squeezing her father’s hand.

  The doctor looked at her with a raised brow.

  “That’s two heartbeats.” He said

  Mary almost jolted off the bed. If it hadn’t been for her father hanging on to her hand she was sure she would have vaulted off the bed.

  “What?” she asked

  “I’m very sure I hear two heartbeats.” He said.

  She gasped as tears ran down her cheeks. Minutes later another doctor came into the room and confirmed the first doctor’s suspicion and it was a given that she was about to be the mother of twin babies. As they left the doctor’s office she felt like crying and laughing at the same time. She had always wanted a family and she was about to get her wish of having children of her own but she wanted to cry because she had chased the man she loved and the father of her children out of her life. She still loved him with all her heart, she wondered if she could dare to think he could love her.

  “Let’s go back to my office and celebrate.” Her father said

  “I can’t.” She replied, “I have to go find the father of these babies.”

  She saw the recognition in her father’s eyes.

  “The thing about love my darling,” he said, “is that you can’t control when it comes or when you must lose it, all you can do is savor it while you still have it.”

  She realized what he was telling her and flung her hands around his shoulders.

  “Thanks, dad.” She whispered.

  Her father offered her his car which she happily accepted. The drive to Matthew’s office was the longest drive she had ever had in her entire life. She was so nervous that she fidgeted the entire journey. When she got there, she almost turned away but when she walked into the building Antonio saw her and rushed over to her.

  “Here to see the boss?” he asked flashing her a knowing smile.

  “Is he here?” she asked.

  “Yeah, let me take you to his office.” He said

  Mary accepted his help and as he led her to Matthew’s office she tried to think of what to say. Would she lead with her pregnancy? Would she tell him she still loved him? Should she tell him he didn’t have to be involved? She wanted him no matter what, but did she want him if he only wanted her for the babies?