The Blasphemy In The Canopic Jar & More Tales Of The Cthulhu Mythos

by McLaughlin, Mark

  I once asked her, “How can you command a door to open to a different place, so far away?” She said to me, “I concentrate on where I want to go. I believe I can do it and the universe follows suit. And because you have accompanied me through these doors, you, too, will someday be able to open them.”

  Yet another door led to the caverns beneath the Sphinx of Giza. I told her I wanted to see the creature from beneath the pyramids that had terrified Houdini – the five-headed death-god of the ancient world. At my request, Selket opened that door, handed me a flashlight, and led me down stone steps that should never have been there.

  I followed Selket through winding passageways littered with bones and teeth. On the floor and walls I saw hundreds of sand-colored spiders with bodies as large as pears. In time we saw man-sized figures, lurching through the shadows ahead of us. As we drew closer, I realized that these creatures were mummies, but not like any you’d see in a museum.

  Many of these mummies had the skulls of animals, and hooves instead of human feet. All were carrying horrible bundles in their cloth-wrapped claws. One of them held a bloody human head still wearing designer sunglasses, and I realized – Selket and me weren’t in the ancient past. We were visiting those underground tunnels during the present day. I remember wondering, how many tourists disappear into the desert each year?

  Soon the passageway opened into a chamber so high, I wondered if the darkness above us was the night sky. I asked Selket and she said, “No, we are too far underground.” She pointed ahead of us. “See … the five-headed god approaches.”

  The thing that approached us was bigger than any bulldozer. It had five heads, just as Selket said: five fur-covered, eyeless heads, each tipped with a long, hooked beak. The mummy worshippers threw their offerings to the heads – and then something happened that made me see the creature in a whole new way.

  The five-headed thing reared up, then came down and folded the heads around the offerings. Then the thing went up quickly into the darkness, and after a moment, came down with no offerings to be seen. I realized then that those heads weren’t heads at all. They were claws, and what I’d thought were beaks were in fact, razor-sharp talons.

  I aimed my flashlight up into the darkness above us and caught a glimpse of a face … the fishbelly-white face of a gigantic monster that had spent countless centuries in darkness. And yet it was a noble face, the face of what the Great Sphinx of Giza must have looked like when it was completed, before the desert winds had reduced it to ruins. That creature was the living image of the Sphinx.

  But shining that bright light in the creature’s eyes turned out to be a horrible mistake. It squealed and lashed out with rage, and caught up Selket in its grasp. Within seconds, her screams ended with the sickening crunch of her bones between that monster’s jaws.

  I turned and ran out of that chamber of horrors – and as I ran, I realized that the stone walls were closing in on me. Selket’s magic was fading away. Then I remembered what she had said about concentration, so I did my best to keep the walls away from me with my mind. And – that seemed to work. The walls went back in place and I was able to reach the stairs that led back to 7B.

  I tried my best to return to a normal life. But, the youthfulness Selket had granted to me began to wear off and soon, I was old and flabby again. In fact, I began to age even faster, just like poor Annie. My hair fell out and now look at me – completely bald. I paid a huge price to see everything Selket had to show me … to learn everything she had to teach me. But still, I suppose I should be grateful. After all, I’m a simple man. I’ve spent most of my life in a department store. Yet I know more about the universe than any scientist.

  I began feeling weaker and weaker, so I finally checked myself into this nursing home. And honestly, this is no way to live. But still, I have one last option. One last escape.

  Selket gave me the ability to open a door in time and space. It’s time to go through the final door. That one right there. It may seem like the closet door, but for my purposes, it will take me where I want to go … to that special place in the after-life where I can be with my special someone forever.

  Annie.

  Or Selket.

  It’s funny that I haven’t decided yet. But deep down, I’m sure the second I touch that doorknob, I will know.

  I will know.

  The Spawn Of Ghattambah

  by Mark McLaughlin

  Map moved through the weed-choked outskirts of the city, thinking about manna. Deep within, she felt her need for more. She saw a gray slough in the distance and considered dipping into it. She took a few steps forward, then stopped. Shallow, still waters held no manna. And yet the slough looked inviting... To stop the urge, she stared into the sun for a moment to clear her mind.

  A mewing echoed within a brick building coated with gray filth. Map listened – the mewing grew louder. A long, hairless grub wiggled onto the ledge of a ground floor window and stared at Map with eyes like yellow marbles.

  "Chigger!" A deep voice cried out in the building. "Here Chigger, Chigger, Chigger!"

  Map hid behind a rotting fence. Soon a man came to the window and picked up his pet. His head was large and round, with a thick tangle of black hair. His eyes were dark and slightly bulbous.

  Map shouted from behind the fence. "Hello, sir."

  The man shaded his eyes and looked out the window. "Who's there? You shouldn't be outside – it's too sunny."

  Map pressed an eye to a crack in the fence. "Map," she called out.

  The man laughed. "A map won't do you any good. There's nowhere to go." He stroked the grub’s smooth head and carried it back into the dark.

  Map crept along the fence. The urge for manna throbbed in her belly. The man made other parts throb. The dark yellow grass felt crisp under her feet. She pulled up a few strands and chewed on them, then spit them out. Too sour. The wind blew a large plastic bag toward her. She caught it and examined it for holes. Surprisingly, it was in good shape.... Perfect for carrying manna.

  Soon Map heard the sound of running water. She hurried past soft, twisted trees and collapsed houses until she came to a dark, bubbling river. Frothy blue-gray masses floated with the current.

  Map filled her belly and her sack with semi-solid chunks of the froth. How sweet, how delicious – and how plentiful! But then, all rivers abounded with manna. Sometimes, when Map wandered too far from a river and went without manna, she became stupid. This time, she had retained a good deal of intelligence. Enough to grab the plastic sack. Enough to remember where the man lived.

  She gazed out over the river. Her last husband had explained the cycle to her. Over the years, rain washed chemical stuff into the rivers from fields and landfills. The sun grew stronger with time, and when the strong new sun hit the rivers, the stuff cooked and made the froth. That husband had called it Satan's manna. Map wasn't sure who Satan was, but it was good of him to share.

  That husband had been a very smart man who told her many wise things. He once told her that Satan enjoyed using many names, and one of them was Nyarlathotep. When Satan used this name, he claimed to be a magnificent businessman from both the distant past and the far future. He was dark and handsome and a master of strange studies.

  Nyarlathotep, her husband once said, caused great factories to be built – factories that spilled chemicals into the rivers that merged with the algae and muck, creating the foodstuff known as manna. Manna nourished wee creatures in an alarming way, much to the vile delight of Ghattambah, the lord of insects. Nyarlathotep enjoyed spreading panic and chaos among humans, and he often saw fit to employ Ghattambah in his plans.

  Yes, her husband had been a smart man – but perhaps too smart. One day, he left to gather food and never came back. Three days later, she found his dead body in a drainage ditch. The body was crawling with flies and riddled with worms and grubs.

  Her husband knew a lot of things, but he didn’t know everything. He didn't know that manna made wonderful things happen, and Ma
p never told him.

  - - -

  Map slipped behind the fence. "Sir? Are you home?" she called out.

  After a moment, the dark-haired man came to the window. "Who is it?"

  "May I come in, please?" Map stepped out from behind the fence. Tall and beautiful she was, with long red hair and almond-shaped eyes. "I'm afraid. Everyone I know is dead. Are you a good person, sir? I think so. I can tell by your eyes."

  "Come in," the man said. "Get out of the sun."

  Map walked to the building and entered. The carpet of the front hall was streaked with gray lichens. The man peered at her from around a door jamb.

  "Who are you?" he said. "What's in the sack?"

  "My name is Map. I was here the other day, remember? These are my things. Private things." She clutched the top of the plastic bag. "Please don't try to take them away."

  "I'm Daniel. Don't worry, I won't take your things." He smiled broadly – his teeth were large, dark and crooked. "I've got lots of food. Are you hungry?"

  He led Map to a room filled with canned goods. Map scanned the pictures on the labels – peaches, cherries, green beans, olives, salmon, and more.

  "This building used to be a shelter for the homeless," he said. "Most of the cans are still good."

  The grub writhed into the room and rubbed against its master's leg. Daniel picked it up and petted it. "Dod, Dod," the grub muttered.

  "I taught him that," Daniel said. "His name is Chigger."

  "Chigger is very smart," Map said. "You are a good person. See how much Chigger loves you."

  "Dod, Dod," Chigger purred. "Dod, Dod, Dod." It nibbled playfully at Daniel's chin with pale yellow mandibles.

  - - -

  Weeks passed. The days grew even hotter.

  Map hid her sack in a cluttered storage room. She secretly began to feed Chigger bits of manna.

  She told Daniel she did not like to talk about her past, and he said that he understood. She found out that Daniel used to cut people's hair. That had been his job, he said – for fun, he used to throw pots. He laughed when Map asked who he threw them at. He explained that to throw a pot meant to spin clay on a wheel and shape it into something useful.

  Map thought that pot-throwing sounded like a good thing.

  Once, when it was cloudy, Daniel went outside to see if he could find any clay. He brought home a bucket of thick, gray ooze. He didn't have a wheel, so they each shaped a pot by hand. Daniel admired Map's work and told her that she had exceptional talent.

  Chigger learned to call Map "Mom." The grub grew large – so large that Daniel could no longer lift the creature. He cut back on the amount of canned salmon he fed his pet, and still the grub piled on rolls of fat.

  One morning, Map curled up next to Daniel on a pile of mouldering coats. "We should make love," she said.

  "You're a beautiful woman, Map," he said. "But I don't feel like it. I haven't felt like it for years. Just as well. I wouldn't want to bring a baby into a dead world."

  "You would make a good father, Daniel. Chigger loves you."

  "Hell, any babies born today would probably end up looking like Chigger. Big, hairless and ugly."

  Map shook her head. "You think too many wrong things. Chigger is beautiful because he loves us. Chigger! Come here, Chigger!"

  Chigger lumbered into the room and threw himself into their laps. "Mommy. Dod, Doddy."

  "I have a surprise for you, Daniel," Map said. "Chigger! Who do you love?"

  The huge grub worked the muscles that controlled its mandibles. "Chiggy lubs Doddy and Mommy."

  "How can he do that?" Daniel whispered, squirming out from under his pet. "I thought I was doing good to get him to repeat one syllable, like a parrot."

  Chigger blinked. "Doddy lubs Chiggy?"

  "You stop that!" Daniel clapped his hand over the grub's mouth. "Bugs aren't that smart!"

  Map slapped his hand away. "You are so mean! Chigger and I wanted to surprise you and now the fun is spoiled. Look, Chigger's mouth is bleeding."

  "Doddy hurd Chiggy!" cried the grub.

  Daniel ran from the room. Map and Chigger stared after him.

  The grub tilted his head to one side and sobbed.

  "Don't be sad." Map pulled a small piece of manna from her pocket. "Look what I have for you."

  - - -

  That night, while Daniel slept, Map and Chigger slipped out of the house. They went to the river, feasted on manna and refilled Map's sack.

  "Do you think Doddy would like manna?" Map said. "I've been eating it for years."

  "Doddy silly," Chigger said.

  Map nodded. "Doddy is very silly. He doesn't know what is good and what is bad. Doddy needs to learn a lesson.”

  Chigger fidgeted with excitement. “A lesson! Tell me the lesson!”

  “It is a simple lesson,” Masp said. “You see, your Doddy is ignorant. He does not realize that we are the spawn of Ghattambah, and that Nyarlathotep looks over us and protects us. He does not realize that we can change our forms in the eyes of others. We have been given this power so we can be happy! We need to use this power so he can be happy, too.”

  As they moved through the night, Map found a dilapidated shop with a mannequin in the window. Instructing Chigger to wait for her, she entered the shop and began to search. A shriveled cadaver in a polyester jumpsuit leered at her from behind the counter. In a back room, she found a garment wrapped in heavy plastic. A wonderful garment! Just looking at it filled her mind with warm thoughts.

  This garment, she decided, would help to bring the happiness they all sought.

  - - -

  Map and the grub did not return to their home with Daniel for several days.

  One morning, Daniel entered the kitchen and found Map preparing a large breakfast. He took his seat at the table. "Where were you? Where's Chigger?"

  "We had things to do." Map smiled. "Chigger is probably asleep. Shall I go wake him?"

  The man shook his head. "I'm sorry I was so mean. I missed both of you. Is Chigger's lip better?"

  "Of course. Young boys heal fast." Map opened a can of fruit drink and filled three glasses.

  "Chigger is not a boy. He's the latest in a long line of huge mutant insects."

  "You are so silly, Doddy." A lanky blond boy entered the room and sat by Daniel's side. "Look at me! I'm a boy and you're my Doddy."

  Map placed a bowl of manna in front of Daniel, and he pushed the bowl away in disgust. He narrowed his eyes at the boy. "You can't fool me. I can still see the outline of Chigger if I squint real hard. He's bigger now..."

  "Doddy is so silly, Mommy! Doddy is so funny!" The little boy ran a tanned hand through his curly locks and began to laugh.

  Map laughed, too. "Wait here, Daniel. I'll be right back." Map rushed to the storage room and threw the wedding dress over her head. It took a bit of wiggling, but she managed to work her way into the ill-fitting garment.

  She still could hear Daniel talking to Chigger. "I can see through this trick of yours," he said. "All I have to do is concentrate."

  Map swept back into the kitchen, white lace swirling in her wake. Still concentrating, Daniel turned from Chigger to Map.

  "Oh God, Map. Oh God." He squinted hard, hard. "You had me fooled all along."

  "I'm sorry, Mommy," Chigger said. "I did it wrong and Doddy figured us out."

  "Not to worry, Chigger," Map said. She smoothed the ruffles of lace over her thorax with a chitinous claw. Her mandibles twitched furiously. "Your Doddy doesn't know what is good and what is bad. He does not know what he needs to be happy. So we must show him. Right now."

  Chigger reared up out of his seat and threw Daniel to the floor. The wedding gown ripped as Map's glistening stinger sprang forth. A milky drop of poison fell from the cylinder's tip. Daniel's shrieks were muffled by the vestigial limb that Chigger slapped over his mouth.

  "Remember what to say, Chigger," said the enormous mud dauber wasp as she slid the pointed tube into the base of Daniel's spine
. She squirted once, twice. Not enough to kill him. Just enough to keep him from ever running away.

  "I now pronounce you man and wife." Chigger nodded happily. "Everything is good now. You may kiss Doddy."

  Casino Carcosa

  by Mark McLaughlin & Michael Sheehan, Jr.

  The stewardess handed Mason Schell his gin and tonic. “Here you go, sir. Off to Vegas for business or pleasure?”

  Taking his cocktail, the pale, hollow-eyed man glanced at the pretty brunette’s name-tag: THANKS FOR FLYING WITH ME TODAY! I’M MANDY W.

  “Hard to say, Mandy W.,” he said. “More of a bucket-list entry, I suppose.”

  For a moment, Mandy’s pink lips formed a perfect circle of surprise. “Bucket list? Oh, that … umm….”

  “It means I’m dying, yes,” Mason said. “Inoperable brain tumor. So I decided, why not go out in a big way? But all that is so depressing. Let’s change the subject. Why don’t you ask me what I do for a living?”

  The stewardess gave him a warm smile. “Sure! What’s your line of work?”

  “I’m a funeral director. I even have my own funeral parlor.”

  Mandy shook her head, sighed and hurried off.

  Mason gazed out the window into the cloudless night sky. On the horizon, he could see the dazzling lights of Las Vegas. He noticed an area, a short distance from the city, where the lights glowed pale yellow, with a faint streak of something else…. It reminded him of the faint rainbow-colored swirls one might see in a splash of motor oil.