The Numbers Game

by Frances Vidakovic

  Or maybe not… After all it was one thing to read your cards and be blessed with beautiful images of the stars and the clover or the moon and the road, and yet another to see the fox and the coffin, the whip and the scary scythe come up time and time again.

  Coincidence or not…

  “I don’t know and I don’t give a crap because this is BS anyway,” she said, throwing the whole packet across the room.

  Why believe in anything when half of San Francisco was doing exciting things like packing their bags to move to LA; while she was stuck in a wallowing hell. Worse still Tabitha couldn’t share her pain with anyone. First of all it was embarrassing, not least because she’d already dug her own grave. The first day Serena had queried about Rick Tabitha convincingly told her:

  “Rick? Rick who? If you’re speaking about the old Rick well he’s history and I’m so over him already!” Insert laugh here. Then a couple of bigger ha ha laughs.

  Second of all, even if Tabitha did have a shoulder to cry on what was the point of it? It wasn’t going to make Rick come running back; it wasn’t going to make the pain go away. In times of extreme distress, outsiders only served to complicate matters.

  “It’s just me, myself and I kiddo.”

  Then the doorbell rang and the trio was interrupted.

  Tabitha froze; she had no intention of going anywhere near the door, except the blinds were open and her visitor, if her or she should move a bit to the side, could see quite well that she was sitting there in her pajamas on the couch. Should she stay or should she go? Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. There was only one viable alternative and that was to throw the tartan blanket over her head.

  “Tabitha, are you in there?” called the voice. A male voice, unmistakably sounding exactly like the one person she least wanted to see.

  Tabitha closed her eyes under the blanket in hopes that he would go away. She knew what he’d be doing in a second – moving two inches to the right and taking a peek through the window. She also knew what he’d be seeing – a tallish tepee-like structure located on the couch with its base feet sticking out like pathetic human remains. Tabitha tried to pull her legs in closer to her chest but all the movement did was make it seem as if a wild wind was rushing through the house. An apparently empty house that is.

  “Tabitha, is that you hiding there on the couch? If so, please open up; it’s important.”

  This time, Tabitha did not move an iota. So what if her big red-painted toenail was protruding? So what if there was no explainable reason for the human-shaped object covered on the couch – other than a stupid human trying to hide under a blanket? She was not coming out, even if it killed her.

  “Tabitha, if you don’t come out, I’ll only have one conclusion to make from this whole situation and that is that you love me. Do you love me lots? Is that why you are hiding from me now?

  That bastard. Tabitha went rigid with anger. How dare he think that blanket covering was equal to love!

  “Gosh Tabitha you love me that much! I never realized.” The voice gave a nervous laugh then wavered a bit. Which was fortunate for Tabitha; she wasn’t quite ready to let herself crack.

  “Tabitha, are you going to open the door?” He continued to plead. It was beginning to sound more pathetic than her hiding under the blanket. “If you do you can tell me how you really feel. Especially if you hate me; now’s your big chance.”

  Tabitha opened her eyes at this point. Wow a chance to tell him what a complete selfish dimwit he is, with no balls, no heart, and no hope in life? Should she? Shouldn’t she? Tabitha let the blanket drop and looked across to see Rick’s face plastered to the window.

  The offer was simply too good to refuse.

  Making her way to the door looking like an unwashed zombie, Tabitha paused for a moment before opening it.

  Her hesitation was to be expected. Rick the dick had treated her like a prick and she didn’t want this chess move to be perceived as anything remotely close to forgiveness. Tabitha wasn’t planning on forgiving Rick. She intended to hate him forever and ever. Putting on the best grimace she could muster, Tabitha wanted to make that quite clear from the start.

  “Yes?” she said after she opened the door, using the most sarcastic, uninterested voice in her artillery. “What the feck do you want?”

  On the doorstep, Rick was standing with what looked like twenty dozen mixed white, pink and gold long-stemmed roses in his arms. Using the flowers as a protective barrier, he smiled a hello and haggled his way past Tabitha into her kitchen.

  “What the...” The total lack of respect displayed by Rick made Tabitha throw both hands up in the air and clasp her head at the temples. “Excuse me but this happens to be my home you are barging into, a home, which coincidentally you are not welcome at.”

  “I know,” Rick said, pulling three vases from the upper shelf in the kitchen and filling each with water. How did he even know they were there? Tabitha usually had to open and shut at least ten cupboards before hitting jackpot. “There,” he said, once he was done separating and arranging the flowers. “Now for you,” he continued, turning to face Tabitha.

  The look on Rick’s face - all naughty but nice - made Tabitha want to stamp her feet even more and throw a big tantrum. “Listen you little prick…” she began. But Rick put a stop to it with a finger to her lips.

  “Shh! Just for a second.” Before she could do anything, Rick grabbed Tabitha by the hand and idly dragged her back into the living room. “I’m afraid this time you’re going to have to listen to me. No ifs, no buts…” he repeated as Tabitha started to protest again. He eased her gently, clearly trying to avoid force, down into the couch. “Just listen.”

  “Here’s the story. In about five minutes, I am going to blindfold you and take you to a secret destination. If you aren’t willing to see where this is heading just say the word right now and it will be obeyed.”

  Tabitha went to open her mouth but the attempt was again thwarted by Rick’s soft finger.

  “Before you say what you are thinking, hear me out. I know I’ve been an idiot, a total wanker. I deserve all the abuse you are obviously so eager to lay on me.” He paused and smiled at Tabitha on the couch. “You can keep on nodding, honey, I don’t mind. Just give me one last chance to share something with you. I won’t ask for anything else. Will you give me that chance?”

  Tabitha frowned, as if giving it some serious thought.

  “Where are you taking me?” she asked finally, the curiosity getting the better of her. Tabitha had always wanted a surprise but never had one sprung on her.

  At that moment Rick knew he was in.

  “Oh no, no Tabitha, there will be no asking questions.” He pulled a black long scarf from out of his back pocket. Tabitha was surprised she missed it; it would’ve looked like a hump growing out of Rick’s ass. “No questions hereon until we get to final destination. You can talk but nothing with a question mark attached to the end. Those are the rules.”

  “What if I break the rules?” Tabitha ventured, wondering if he’d pick up on that query.

  But it slid ride past Rick.

  “Break the rules and we turn back, as simple as that.”

  “Oh simple,” Tabitha smiled. “I can go with that.”

  Letting Rick tie the scarf firmly around her eyes, Tabitha’s world soon descended into darkness. It was time for total surrender. Rick guided her up off the couch and as they made their way to the front entrance, neither of the two was sure if the other knew just how much of sucker they were.

  Chapter 35

  “So where are we going?” Tabitha asked, twenty minutes into their car journey.

  She truly couldn’t help it. Tabitha knew what she was doing was akin to eternal sin but best make it clear to Rick straight away: patience was not one of her strengths.

  “I’m sorry but I can’t handle it. The pattern in which you’re driving is driving me crazy. Sometimes it’s left; sometimes it’s right, I know we passed the Golden Gate
before but God only knows where we are now. Are you going to give me a clue?”

  “No clues, except that pretty soon you will need some ID. Oh crap,” Rick slapped his forehead. “I forgot to ask, you do have ID on you right?”

  “Never leave home without it,” Tabitha replied, lifting her cream clutch out of her lap. It was a last minute request she put forth to Rick before being shoved out of the house. Her survival kit, it contained a lipstick, cover stick, breath-freshener spray, driver’s license, credit card and emergency $20 note.

  “Good, good, good. Let’s see then. When we’re at this next place, I will need you to keep calm and not act like I’m a terrorist or kidnapper of some sort.”

  “You want me to lie? In your dreams Bin Laden!”

  “I’m serious Tabitha, just play with me. For at least the next two hours you will be my soon to be fiancée and I am whisking you away on the romantic surprise of your life.”

  “What do you mean away?” Tabitha inquired, just as the first sound of jumbo jets flies overhead. “No way, you’re taking me to the airport. I don’t believe it.”

  At moments like this, it was hard for a girl to stay mad at her captor.

  “Tabitha, you really need to calm down. Relax. Nothing dreadful is going to happen to you.”

  “I know, I know,” she moaned, despite being barely able to contain herself. “It’s just the blindfold is cutting into my eye and I’m dressed as if I really am vision-impaired and haphazardly raided my closet. Obviously when I put this rubbish on I wasn’t expecting this.”

  “So what were you expecting?”

  “Honestly?” Tabitha said. She let out a sigh. “From you, I expect nothing. Deep down I still hate you Rick despite your best attempts to melt the Ice Maiden with your Casanova routine.”

  “Is it at least working?” Rick dared to ask.

  “We’ll see,” Tabitha replied, “We’ll see soon enough.”

  As predicted, Rick and Tabitha did in fact board a plane that night, the six-forty five flight to Los Angeles.

  Much as he’d have liked, the earplugs plus earmuffs Rick insisted Tabitha wear hadn’t quite done the trick. The booming archaic voice of airline’s pilot still infiltrated the padding.

  “We wish to inform you that this flight will take approximately one hour twenty six minutes and we hope it is a pleasant and comfortable journey for all,” Mister Pilot informed his passengers, “refreshments will be served shortly.”

  If anything, Tabitha had hoped the farce would end here and that the blindfold could be stripped. After all, what was the point of a blindfold when she knew the destination? More importantly, she hadn’t been to LA by airplane since she was eight so a bit of peering out the window during landing wouldn’t go astray. Neither would looking at her more immediate surroundings. Tabitha knew she was in first class, the moment the attentive air hostess directed Rick and her up a wide-ish set of steps. Normally all she heard upon boarding was:

  “Keep to your left, down past the second set of toilets.”

  Once again what was the point of being in first class if she couldn’t actually see it? After all, Tabitha couldn’t exactly imagine reporting the following in confidence:

  “Yes the seats, now they felt really big. I don’t know whether they were leather or anything but they felt like real leather and I could comfortably put my feet up to rest. As for my compatriots, I can’t be sure whether there was anybody famous but they all sounded educated and posh enough.”

  “I need to go to the bathroom,” Tabitha piped up, when the remains of her five star meal got swept up not two minutes after being placed in front of her. That was another cute story to share with friends, how less satisfying barbequed salmon and miniature artichokes tasted when spoon-fed.

  “Of course, let me just get you out of here.” Rick said as he unclipped his seatbelt and then hers as well. She wasn’t sure but she had a sneaking suspicion he was planning to carry her to the bathroom…and why not, it sure would complete the total invalid look.

  “I think I will get the air hostess to help me this time,” Tabitha informed Rick, just in case.

  “Excuse me?” Rick seemed to freeze mid-air. “Why on earth would an air hostess help you to the bathroom when you have a perfectly good pretend fiancée at your service?”

  “Because in this instance a little privacy is called for.” Tabitha rubbed her stomach. “Do you mind pressing the call button for me dear?”

  “All right, all right.” Tabitha could hear Rick caving in. “Just this once I’ll let you out of my sight. But next time I’m in the cubicle with you. So remember that before you request and scoff down more than your fair share of complimentary dinner mints.”

  “I’ll remember,” Tabitha promised, fingers crossed behind her back. By then the blindfold would be long since flushed down the suction airplane toilet anyway.

  Surprisingly Rick didn’t complain at all when Tabitha returned to her seat minus the blindfold, nor did he take up her offer to extract it from the toilet.

  “Why don’t we leave that for people who get paid to clean toilets?”

  “So you’re not angry?” Tabitha said, raising an eyebrow.

  She had expected a full scale attack - at the very least something inherently more interesting than simply the stern teachers look. Not that it wasn’t worth it; stripping off the blindfold had made Tabitha feel normal once again. Not only did she get to locate and collect some of the gorgeous first class bathroom accessories (think peppermint paste on a tortoiseshell toothbrush and Estee Lauder cleanser and moisturizer samples) but Tabitha also put her lipstick and concealer to good use. And boy did she need it! The final transformation looked like it belonged on the Oprah Special Makeover Show.

  “No, why would I be angry?” Rick beamed his cheery smile. “I’m amazed you even went along with the hostage routine as long as you did. Plus I get to see your beautiful blue eyes again. Sounds to me like a win, win situation.”

  “Good then you won’t mind if I just ignore you while the plane prepares for touch down. It’s been a while since I saw LA by candlelight.”

  It had been a while since Tabitha last saw LA at all but why make Rick’s head any bigger than it needed to be?

  As per schedule, the plane landed in the city of angels just after eight o’clock. Tabitha realized then, as the fastened seatbelts sign flashed off and passengers started pulling out their baby Louis Vuitton suitcases from the overhead cabinets that she had no idea what she was doing here. It couldn’t possibly be anything too exciting if Rick let her go in a skanky black sweater and skanky black pants. If it weren’t for the gifts she took from the first class bathroom Lord only knows what Tabitha would’ve done re: her skincare and teeth maintenance overnight.

  She was staying overnight, she assumed. By the time Rick finished showing her whatever surprise he had in store for her it’d be too late to catch a flight back. As for nightwear, Tabitha cringed. What would she do for nightwear? Tabitha couldn’t very well sleep in what she had on (even though they looked like pajamas) nor with what she had on underneath (think white cotton bra and panties washed so often it had holes in it. Tabitha liked to be comfortable during her wallowing periods).

  So began the next round of questions…

  “Where are you taking me now? Why are we getting in a limo? Why are you pouring me wine? Where the hell are we going?”

  It wasn’t as if Rick was able to deport her back to San Francisco now.

  “Tabitha!” Rick bellowed, “Can you not be quiet for one second? A surprise is supposed to be just that – a surprise, something you don’t know anything about. Think you can wait another ten minutes for it to be unveiled?”

  “Ten minutes? Why didn’t you say so before? It makes a complete difference when I know what timeframe I’m dealing with.”

  “Whatever,” Rick replied. Tabitha’s temporary tranquil act wasn’t fooling anyone.

  True to his word however, ten minutes later the luxury limousine pull
ed to a stop in front of a Spanish-looking villa. Hitherto Tabitha had been trying to keep track of where she was heading by spying street signs – like Hollywood ten miles, Rodeo Drive five, but had given up when darkness swallowed most of them in one gulp. She could only guess that they were in the ritzier part of the city. The houses here were well-spaced out and heralded by lush green lawns a mile long, with trees in shapes of famous Italian sculptures posed upon them.

  “Are we visiting someone?” Tabitha dared to ask. Because if they were there sure didn’t seem to be anyone at home at the moment. The villa looked very, very empty.

  “Sort of…”Rick said, climbing out of the limo and offering Tabitha his arm. He nodded to the driver, who tilted his cap in return and pulled away from the curb once Tabitha was safely ejected.

  “Our car…” Tabitha said sadly, as the last remnant of all that first class treatment trailed off into the distance.

  “Don’t worry, Tabitha. I promise you it will be back.”

  Rick took her by the hand, patted it reassuringly and then led her up the red-tiled path. Tabitha spied the faintly glowing floodlights sprinkled along the sides, which probably made the long pathway look absolutely enchanting when the owners turned it on. But to turn it on, they’d have to be expecting us wouldn’t they? God only knew what loonies Rick was dragging her to see.

  “Okay,” he said, once they reached the door. “Now I’m going to need you to shut your eyes like before. No cringing either, it’s important.”

  “Fine, fine,” Tabitha grumbled. It was probably better that they were shut just in case he was about to summon vampires from their coffins.

  Waiting for a doorbell to sound, Tabitha was surprised to hear none. All she heard was the sound of a hand rustling for keys from a pocket, keys being inserted into door, door opening with no inside assistance. Now this was getting a bit suspicious. Tabitha opened one eye –secretly, only a tincy, tiny bit - to see Rick disappearing inside. Five seconds later, the lights on the landing came on, along with the set dancing down the pathway.