Grace Given (Touch of Grace)

by Beth Shriver

  “So I’ve heard.” Elsie wasn’t comforted. No news was better than bad, but it would be nice to hear Mamm’s voice right about now. She noticed Rachel with the boys in the other room. “I was wondering where you were.”

  “I got here soon after you. But I ran into Ruby and asked her to come over here with me.” Rachel shrugged. “And she did.” She grinned with satisfaction, knowing what a great feat that was. Maybe dinner the other night with her made some sort of difference between them.

  “Where is she?” Just as Elsie asked, Ruby came downstairs with some dirty laundry. “Ruby, thanks for coming over.”

  She wiped a dark strand of hair off her forehead and stuck the bundle of clothes under her arm. “I heard about your daed. I was almost to the neighbor’s house to find out more when Rachel rode by and told me.” She squeezed Elsie’s hand. “Will is on his way.”

  Elsie’s bottom lip trembled as tears quietly ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away when Rachel stood and put her arm around her. When Adam and Aaron came thundering down the stairs, Elsie pulled herself together and told them to slow down. “What’s the hurry?”

  “Ruby told us if we helped her clean, we could have a piece of her berry pie,” Aaron announced, as if he’d never eaten pie before. Adam grinned and followed Aaron to the kitchen. No one else felt like eating, so they kept busy doing what they could around the house and received visitors who came to bring a dish for dinner or a pastry for the family.

  “I hope that’s all right.” Ruby walked up beside Elsie and slowly turned from one side of the kitchen to the other. The counters were full of casseroles, bread pudding, and a variety of other dishes.

  “Of course, and I hope you bring another one of your pies, Ruby.” Elsie meant it, but she also wanted Ruby to feel better about working in the kitchen.

  Time seemed to stop as they all sat in the kitchen and spilled over into to the entry room. A second pot of coffee was made just as a car pulled in. Elsie stood and waited for Mamm to come in and tell her about her daed. Mamm greeted a couple who were leaving after sharing a cup of coffee and leaving a couple loaves of bread. Mamm thanked them but didn’t smile when she explained there was no news yet.

  When she went into the kitchen, her gaze went straight to Elsie. They embraced and sat closely at the kitchen table while the others made plates of food and stored much more for future meals and visitors.

  “It’s not gut, is it?” Elsie sucked in a breath to prepare herself.

  “The doctors say it’s his gallbladder. Once it passes, he’s on the mend. I need to go back and stay with him. I wanted to tell you myself and pack a few things for your daed and me to spend the night.”

  “Thank God. So when will he be able to come home?”

  “Soon I hope. He’s complaining to me he wants to come home, so that much is gut. He’s worried about getting the work done.” Mamm gave Elsie a tired smile and stood to go upstairs. “Help me pack, will you?”

  “Jah, sure.” But she didn’t want to help her mamm. Elsie didn’t want her to leave or for Daed to be gone. As she followed her mamm, Elsie thought of all the extra responsibilities she would have. The boys would need three meals a day, and then there was the milking, feeding, and care of the animals. The goats and lambs would birth soon, and then there were Mamm’s chores that she now would need to combine with hers. Her mind began to spin then stopped when she realized Mamm was calling to her.

  “Sorry, Mamm. I didn’t hear a thing you said.” She didn’t want to hear the long list that she already knew by heart. There was nothing that could be done later or could wait; a farm their size couldn’t run that way.

  “What were you thinking about so intently?” Mamm’s brow wrinkled with concern, and Elsie felt badly for giving her anything else to think about.

  “I’ll take care of everything while you’re gone.” Elsie gulped, saying what she felt she couldn’t do. Will might be able to help, but he had his own farm to work, with no help of his own. “I might need a hand though.” She thought of Gideon, knowing she could count on him.

  “Elsie, do you remember when the Lambrights’ barn burned down? And the Hershbergers were in a bad way when their crop didn’t produce what they needed one harvest?” Mamm turned and finished packing then took one bag and handed Elsie another.

  “Jah, why?”

  “You won’t be running this farm alone.” Mamm finally smiled, making the wrinkles in the corner of her eyes fan out. And Elsie knew she was right.

  When they walked into the kitchen, Mose was sitting at the table with Yonnie and Will. The boys sat with them wide-eyed as they spoke of the weather and their crops. Rachel’s daed came in the door and joined them. Elsie felt a huge void because Gideon wasn’t there. She wished she hadn’t given him her blessing to leave. She needed him here now.

  Mamm grinned at Elsie. “You were always on the helping end. This is what it’s like to be on the receiving side.”

  When Elsie looked at the table with every chair filled and some men standing, her eyes caught on Mose, who was staring right at her. Those blue eyes would always remind her of Jake, and then the thoughts of him would capture her mind. And then there was Katie, unaware that her daed was in a hospital. She wondered if Katie kept in touch with the community, but Elsie didn’t know how, nor would her daed want to know. He felt abandoned and shamed that she left, not married, but with a young man. But Elsie thought Mamm would want to know of her whereabouts about now. “Should we try to contact Katie?”

  Mamm stopped on the porch and stared at Elsie. “Your daed has forbidden it.”

  “Jah, I know.” She frowned down at her black, soiled boots and questioned herself. “But doesn’t this change things?” Elsie was surprised in what she was asking her mamm. As upset as she was with her sister, Elsie knew family came first, especially in crisis.

  “Maybe, I don’t know.” Mamm’s eyes teared as she hugged the boys and then got into the car of an English neighbor who helped them now and then with transportation. “You take care of each other.”

  Her mamm didn’t say yes, but Elsie didn’t hear a definite no either. She would talk with Mose as to what he thought. Maybe she was wrong, but if she was right, she would never forgive her-self for not giving Katie the chance to know that her daed was ill.

  The women prepared a spread of potato soup, dilly carrots, and snap peas for a midafternoon meal. They gathered bread and desserts that visitors brought and set them on the counter for people to eat and come back for more. Elsie enjoyed the conversation and the busyness to keep her mind off things.

  When she finally got the chance to fix herself a plate, she searched for Mose and sat next to him. They sat on either side of the table and spoke quietly so no one could hear. “Any word from Jake?” She took a sip of the creamy soup even though she had no appetite. Concerns about her daed and the slightest thought of Jake and Katie coming back made her stomach queasy.

  “Nee, have you?” He stuck his fork into the flaky crust of an apple pie.

  She shook her head. “They can’t stay forever, can they?” Maybe that thought was not on Jake’s or Katie’s mind. Perhaps they were living a happy life on their own, not missing them at all.

  “I’m beginning to wonder.” He set the fork down and looked straight at her with all seriousness. “Do you think they know what’s going on here? Like this?” He nodded his head toward the commotion caused by her daed’s bad health. “I wonder if they keep in contact with anyone here.”

  She frowned. “If they want to communicate with someone, it should be us; they’re our family.” Elsie couldn’t hide the bite of anger in her words.

  “They may turn to someone else for fear of not being accepted by us. But I would think Katie would want to know about your daed.”

  Elsie leaned forward in appreciation of his words. “I asked my mamm if she thought we should try to let her know.”

  His eyes brightened, and Elsie knew he had the same longing that she did. “And what did she
say?”

  “She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either.” Elsie cringed, regretting bringing Katie into the picture and wishing she would have waited for Gideon. “I shouldn’t have asked her; she has too much on her mind.”

  He put his hand on hers, and she met his eyes. “You should give her a chance to make her own decision.”

  “Making her own decisions is what got her where she is now,” Elsie said with spite. “But yes, I think she should at least be informed and leave it at that.”

  “Do you want me to take you to Rachel’s?”

  “Jah, I suppose so.” They both looked around the room until they spotted Rachel. When Mose gestured to her, she came over and sat with them.

  “You two seem to be intent on something.” She gave them a sidelong glance and waited for them to tell her what was going on.

  “I need to use the phone at your daed’s.” Elsie wasn’t sure how much she wanted Rachel to know. She and Mose had decided what to do, and she didn’t want a lot of other opinions to confuse her.

  “I’d like to go too,” Mose responded quickly, as if he’d lose the opportunity if he didn’t claim his place.

  Rachel nodded to confirm his request. “Let’s tell Annie, and I’ll go with you.” She didn’t ask any questions, which Elsie appreciated, but she wasn’t sure Rachel would agree with what they were doing.

  Elsie told Annie and the boys she was leaving. “Can you keep an eye on Adam and Aaron for me?” She wrung her hands while she waited for Annie’s answer, even though she knew what her response would be. But Annie studied her for a moment before she answered.

  “Of course.” Annie clasped her hands over Elsie’s, and her hands went idle. “Whatever it is that’s holding you captive, stop and pray it away.”

  Annie had filled the hole after Katie left, and Elsie didn’t know what she would have done without her. Annie had left and gone into the secular world and returned, which gave Elsie hope. But Katie was nothing like Annie, chasing after the things of the world whereas Annie went to find a mother she never knew she had.

  “Words of wisdom.” Elsie found a smile and squeezed her hand. “Danke for taking care of the boys.”

  “No worries. Do what you need to, Elsie. Only you know in your heart what that is.”

  Elsie gave her a thoughtful grin and joined the others in Mose’s buggy. She was in silent thought during the ride to Rachel’s haus. As they walked up to her haus, though, she wasted no time explaining why they were there. “Rachel, Mose and I have decided to try and let Katie know about Daed.” Elsie watched Rachel’s face as she told her.

  She pursed her lip and nodded once. “You sound set on that.”

  “We are, although we’re not sure how to get hold of her.”

  “My daed might know.” Rachel seemed a bit concerned, but Elsie had come this far, she wasn’t going to change her mind now. The sound of the wheels crunching gravel was all that was heard for a short while. “You don’t agree with our decision?”

  “I don’t know what to think. But it’s not my decision to make.” She turned toward Elsie. “It’s yours.”

  Elsie caught her meaning but didn’t agree. This would affect Mose and his family as well.

  Rachel’s daed, Henry, came from the barn and gave Elsie a gentle hug. “You want to try the hospital?”

  “Nee, actually I’d like to reach Katie.”

  “And Jake,” Mose added.

  He took a step back and rubbed his face. “Does your daed know about this?”

  “Nee.” Mose shook his head.

  “I asked my mamm.” Elsie felt that was enough information. If she was in Katie’s shoes, she would want to know, so she would do the same for her.

  “Well, I think you should ask your folks, Mose.” Henry let out a breath. “But I’m not gonna be the one to say no. I’m sure Katie would want to know, but I’m not so sure I agree with you talking with Jake. He doesn’t have a daed who’s in a bad way.”

  Mose remained silent for a moment then nodded. “It’s more important that Katie gets the news. I’ll wait on Jake.”

  Elsie gave him a brief glance, appreciating his understanding, and took the phone after Henry dialed. When a woman answered, Elsie became flustered, and Mose touched her shoulder to calm her. “Hallo, I’m trying to reach Katie Yoder.”

  “There’s no one here by that name. Who’s calling?”

  Her cheeks heated in disappointment. “I’m sorry.” Rachel shook her head, and Mose smiled at her nervousness. “My name is Elsie Yoder.”

  “You must be one of those Amish people.” The woman didn’t sound either irritated or overly excited at the realization.

  “Jah, I’m looking for my sister to tell her our daed is ill.”

  “Well, like I said, there’s no Katie Yoder here.”

  Elsie’s heart sunk, thinking that she was so close to actually talking to her sister after all this time. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

  “But there is a Katie Fisher.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  GIDEON TETHERED HIS buggy and took quick steps to Rachel’s haus just as Elsie was handing the phone to Rachel’s daed. He watched Elsie make her way to the couch and sit down. She hadn’t even acknowledged him, just staring blankly in front of her. “Is everyone all right?” He scanned the room to see Rachel’s daed, Mose, Will, and Rachel. “Are the boys here?” He didn’t know how candid he could be.

  “Gideon.” Elsie’s eyes were large, bewildered as she stared at Gideon. “They’re with Ruby and Annie.”

  The tension in the air consumed him. He remained standing, ready for more bad news. “What’s wrong?”

  “I called to tell Katie about Daed.” Elsie stared into his eyes, waiting for his response.

  “Who decided this?”

  She started to look at Mose but stopped and turned back to Gideon. “I did.” Gideon didn’t believe she made the decision alone, but that could be discussed later.

  “The woman who answered told me there was a Katie Fisher staying there.” She fumbled over the last word and took in a breath.

  Gideon couldn’t imagine what this was doing to Elsie. Her pale face and sadness around her eyes made it obvious, but what she was feeling internally must be breaking her apart. He sat down next to her, across from Mose and Rachel. Rachel’s daed asked his boys to go out and do some chores so they could have privacy, then he stood by Elsie. “Are Katie and Jake married?”

  Elsie’s eyes dropped down to her hands, folded on her lap. Gideon knew she was trying not to twiddle as she always did when she was upset or nervous. “I don’t know.”

  “Or were they only saying they are to be able to find a place that would take them in.” Will offered but shrugged as if he really had no idea.

  Mose didn’t take his eyes off Gideon when he spoke, maybe to confirm the thoughts he told Gideon about the possibility they were married. “I don’t know if it matters out there.”

  “Either is a possibility.” Gideon felt helpless that he wasn’t familiar with the world outside their community. He questioned if Elsie should have tried to make contact for this very reason. When he saw Elsie wrap her arms over her stomach, trying to comfort herself, Gideon was glad he was there.

  She touched Gideon’s hand. “I left the house without telling you where I was going, bent on making that phone call that I now regret. The more I know, the worse I feel.”

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.” Gideon noticed all of their eyes were on Elsie, and he tried to bring their attention back to the issue at hand. “How did you know where to find her?”

  Henry’s solemn face showed his discomfort with the question. “I’m put in a difficult position some times because I have this phone.” He moved away from Elsie and sat in his rocking chair. “Katie called awhile after she left and asked me to let her know if anything happened concerning her family. I told her I couldn’t do that, but I’d take her number in case any of you wanted to reach her.
” He rubbed the back of his neck and studied Elsie’s face.

  “I’m sorry you had to make a decision about that.” Will sighed. “I’m surprised she called and asked you to do that. I doubt she thinks about us or misses us.” His words brought tears to Elsie’s eyes.

  “Too bad she wasn’t there when you called.” Rachel said it almost as a question more than a statement.

  “Maybe it’s for the best. She’s been told about daed, and the decision is hers as to what she wants to do from here.” Elsie pursed her lip, feeling that she’d done her part.

  Gideon moved his eyes slowly back to Elsie wondering if that was a wise choice. “So she is going to find out from the person who runs the boardinghouse?”

  “Maybe not the best way to be told, but this way the decision is hers.” Elsie looked at him with new confidence, and he decided he shouldn’t give his opinion. He didn’t know what this felt like for her. No one did, except Mose.

  “Well, I’m glad you made the call for my own benefit. I miss my bruder no matter how wrong he was to leave.” Mose’s eyes were only on Elsie. “And I hope they come back.”

  “Sometimes something like this is what it takes.” Rachel smiled at Elsie to show her support. “God only knows.”

  “How is your daed?” Gideon had forgotten to ask about the most important reason he left the meetings and came to see Elsie.

  “He’s recovering. It’s his gallbladder.” Elsie forced a smile.

  Gideon didn’t appreciate the way Mose stared at her. The fact their siblings both left had created some sort of bond between them, but Gideon had no patience for it at the moment. “When will he come home?”

  “In a day or two maybe, if the doctor says he’s healed well enough.” She looked out the window, distracted. “I’ll need some help around here for a while.”

  “Done, whatever you need.” Mose said it so fast Gideon didn’t have a chance to answer quickly enough.

  Gideon’s mind went straight to her safety, not the chores. She and the boys were his first concern. “You and the boys shouldn’t be home alone. I’ll be around to make sure you’re safe.”