Grace Given (Touch of Grace)

by Beth Shriver

  “Jake Fisher, what are you doing lying under my maple tree?” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at him, wearing a frown. When he opened his eyes, she prepared herself. The sharp blue color melted into hers, bringing back familiar feelings. But they soon passed, replaced with thoughts of Gideon.

  “Elsie.” He grinned, revealing the dimple in his left cheek. “I’ve been waiting for you.” Jake sat up and put his arms on his knees.

  “You could have come up to the door.” Anger had built up over the months he was gone, and she had no intention of hiding it.

  But he didn’t seem to know or care.

  “And get a berating from your daed? No thanks.” He stood then brushed off his pants and ran his fingers through his hair.

  “Well, you deserve it.”

  “Oh, you too, huh?” He seemed amused, not having seen her this upset before.

  Elsie turned away. She held her arms tighter in front of her chest and tightened her lips together in frustration. Then she felt him touch her shoulder.

  “I owe you an apology. I just don’t know how to say it.” Then he fell silent. She didn’t respond, waiting for more, until he squeezed her arm.

  She shrugged his hand away and looked him in the eyes. “That’s not good enough.”

  “I didn’t mean to let you think there was more between us then there was. I take the blame for that.” He put his hand on his chest as if confessing something of great importance. But she still wasn’t satisfied.

  “Well, you did.”

  “I’m sorry.” He held out his hands then dropped them to his sides.

  “Did you ever tell Katie how you felt?” Then she stopped her thoughts. If he didn’t think there was anything between them, why would he?

  He shook his head. “I didn’t want to upset her or you.”

  Elsie scoffed. She’d played the fool. Any attention he’d given her was frivolous. The ache in her heart was slowly mending as she spent time with Gideon, and at that moment her feelings for Gideon grew even more.

  Jake stared over her shoulder, his eyes squinting. The sun shone down on his face and made his eyes twinkle. “Who’s that?”

  Elsie almost forgot Timothy was there, but when she looked at him, she didn’t seem to be the one he was angry with. “His name is Timothy.” She gestured to him.

  “I deliver the milk in to town.” Timothy came over but didn’t offer his usual smile.

  Jake offered his hand, and when they shook, Jake’s grin grew. “Haven’t shaken a hand like that for a long while.”

  “I don’t usually either, but it’s become habit since doing the milk runs here.”

  Elsie liked how Timothy was learning the Amish customs from being around them. He wasn’t one that did his job and left; he grew in learning their ways.

  “I’ve been gone for a few months.”

  “Did you just get here?” Elsie wasn’t surprised about Jake’s sudden arrival, but others may need more warning than she did. The decisions may be harder with her group from Virginia than the less conservative one that was already here.

  “About an hour ago. It took you long enough to come see me down here.” He pointed up at the thick trunk.

  She let her arms drop down to her sides and squeezed her hands into fists. If Timothy wasn’t here, she’d like to tell Jake how mad she was at him—and hurt. “It’s not every day I expect someone to be under my tree.”

  “Better get to those cows.” Timothy had been quietly observing, unlike his usual talkative self. He was close enough to catch some of their conversation. Elsie could see it in his eyes; he didn’t like Jake.

  “I don’t miss that. Especially in the summer, hot like it is today. The flies buzzing and the cow’s tails slapping around with manure on them. And I always got the kickers. I put a boot on ’em most every time.”

  “Maybe it’s the one milking and not the cow that needs the boot.” Timothy walked ahead to hurry them along.

  “The Holsteins don’t like you to be late when they’re gorged with milk,” she added to buffer Timothy’s comment. “What kind of work do you do in the city?”

  “It’s only a short-term position.”

  She stood there waiting for more information.

  “I work in a factory, on the line, assembling parts.” His wistfulness was gone for a moment but returned when he glanced at her. “It’s temporary until I can find something better.”

  “Why don’t you use the carpentry skills your daed taught you?”

  He chuckled. “Just as expected, you always try to make every-thing right.” Jake grinned, and that dimpled cheek appeared again.

  Elsie felt her forehead tighten. Jake’s intuition about her was painfully correct, and she didn’t want to hear it. She analyzed everything, to the point of frustration at times. “Does Katie know you’re here?”

  “No, I’ve been trying to build up my nerve to go knock on the door.” He turned back at the maple tree. “That’s why that nice big tree with some green grass under it was so inviting.”

  It didn’t take long for Elsie to realize, but she didn’t miss his nonchalant talk or behavior. He’d always been carefree but not to this extent. “Are you planning to stay here all day?”

  He shrugged. “If need be. I don’t want the door shut in my face.”

  Timothy turned to leave, and Elsie would much rather help him milk than try to get Jake to muster up his courage to see Katie. But there was her sister to think about. She was so bitter when she first came home, maybe she’d soften with Jake here.

  She marched up to the house with Jake at her heels. When they were next to the door, she threw her hands on her hips. “Why are you here, Jake?”

  He scoffed. “It’s where I should be, right? With Katie and the baby?”

  “Why didn’t you come with Katie from the start?”

  He shifted his glance from the farmhouse to the fields and back to her. “I never felt like I belonged here; still don’t,” he grunted.

  “You were different is all. That’s not wrong, but there are rules to follow for the sake of everyone, not just you.”

  “Here it comes.” The bitterness permeated his every word. She didn’t know he felt this way. He used to ignore the talk and reprimands when he’d do something that was considered disobedient.

  “Once your group came down here, it only got worse, everyone going back and forth on what we could or couldn’t do. I guess you use the phone here now. That’s why Katie’s coming back wasn’t a surprise.” He turned away. “But I’m sure the baby was.” He didn’t turn back for a long while.

  “Did it scare you?” As strong as Jake was, bringing a new life into the world had to have weakened him.

  He nodded and rubbed his nose. “They were only away a few days, and I thought I was gonna go out of my head being away from them.”

  She smiled at his acknowledgment that there were two separate people in his life now that he was beholding to. “You did the right thing.”

  He grinned. “Something about this baby makes me think I will.” He tightened a fist. “I should have come with them.” He shook his head with passion. “But I couldn’t stomach the thought of all the rigmarole that they’re going to put us through.”

  “But now you’re doing it together.” That much she could give him credit for. It couldn’t have been easy for him to come back here. She could see him leading an English life, and Katie. But they didn’t have the means to have the baby and came back to their family. That’s what Amish do, support one another.

  “Yeah, and it scares the heck out of me.” He stared over to the barn. “Are the boys in there helping you?”

  Elsie nodded, wishing she was in there with them. Her anger toward him was mixed with so many things that were slowly dissolving it away. There was a baby on the way. No matter what the circumstances, a new life brought great joy.

  Jake followed Elsie into the kitchen and watched her mamm’s jaw drop. Katie walked in and yelped, as if she’d
stubbed her toe. That brought Daed in to eat his morning meal, but when he saw Jake in his kitchen, his face turned a shade of red Elsie had never seen before.

  “I’m going out the finish the milking.” Elsie squeezed Jake’s shoulder. “Godsend to you.” Elsie turned and went back outside. She took in the fresh air and quiet. Timothy was finishing up when she entered the barn. “Almost done. Is everything all right?”

  “Nee, but hopefully it will be. Danke for helping the boys.” Aaron and Adam picked up the newspapers used to clean the teats and threw them away. Timothy finished filling the tanks, and Elsie put their bottled milk in the cooler.

  “Everything will work out for you and your family, Elsie.” With that he nodded and walked to his truck.

  Elsie took the boys to the haus. They were full of questions that Elsie didn’t want to answer. Once inside they walked quietly until they got into the kitchen. Mamm was hustling to get breakfast on the table so the boys could eat and get ready for church. Daed left as they were coming in, obviously upset, and Katie looked like she was going to cry or yell, one of the two. Jake was nowhere to be seen.

  Oh, how she wished she could be taken away from all of this. And then she decided she could be. None of this was hers to deal with at the moment. She went up to her room and got ready for church, needing time to be closer to God without all of the distractions.

  When she went downstairs, she sat on the porch and waited. Soon Adam came out and sat down with her, and then Aaron. She was beginning to think no one else was going to join them, which would be unthinkable. But under these circumstances any-thing was possible.

  “Look!” Adam yelled and pointed at a buggy coming down the lane.

  “It’s Gideon.” Aaron ran off the porch, with Adam soon after him. She followed, thanking God with every step she took.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  GIDEON WATCHED THE rows of cotton fields blowing in the wind as they made their way to the Fishers’ house. They were going to help the family with the field that was destroyed by the storm. Gideon heard the bishop was coming over to talk with Jake and Katie as well.

  “Why does it take something like this to make you appreciate the people in your life?” Elsie glanced over to the field he was admiring.

  “Only time with the Lord could help you discover that revelation after everything that’s gone on.” Gideon appreciated her positive attitude, one that most people in her place wouldn’t have.

  “The other day I was mad as blazes at Jake, and Katie too. But now I’m glad to have them home again.”

  “You do have a forgiving heart, Elsie. I only wish you’d do for yourself what you do for others.” He watched her and knew she was thinking.

  “You mean forgive myself?”

  He nodded. “Jah.”

  “I didn’t realize I . . . ”

  “If someone measured every thought and deed they did, would you encourage or discourage them to continue?” It was to the point Gideon didn’t need to hear her question herself; he could read it on her face when she doubted a decision she’d made or something she’d said to someone, and the list was much larger than that. He was sure once she stopped being so hard on herself, she wouldn’t think he was more than just the man that he was.

  She tilted her head. “It’s been difficult to discern what rules to follow since joining this community. But I suppose I’ve always been that way to a certain extent.”

  He smiled, enjoying the morning sunlight catching the lighter colors in her hair. “The English say you’re your own worst critic.”

  He tapped her on the nose. “That’s you.” He let her consider his observation while he tethered the horses.

  “Morning.” Mose gave the horse a pat on his side. “Omar asked for you.”

  “Danke.” Gideon responded flatly then helped Elsie with the food she’d brought. She joined the women who were sizing up the goods.

  When Gideon walked into the Fisher home, he remembered how similar this house was to his. The male-dominated room was quite the opposite of the family with six girls. The garden grew a few flowers and many vegetables, unlike Elsie’s, which was the reverse. One wall was adorned with a calendar with pictures of landscapes. His own mamm didn’t even have that much to look at.

  “Omar.” They pumped hands. “Unfortunately there was another incident with the English. I thought you’d want to know.”

  Omar lowered his head and looked down at the wooden floor. “Hmm, our prayers continue, thus keeping us close to the Lord.”

  His gentle ways kept Gideon where he should be, long-suffering, resembling Omar’s example.

  Omar put a chubby hand on his shoulder. “Gideon, I would like you to be the scribe while we meet.”

  Gideon nodded. Documenting wasn’t usually done, but due to the two different groups meeting for the first time formally about something of this nature, maybe they felt it necessary.

  “Morning, Gideon.” Jake’s voice was so similar to Mose’s it made Gideon pause.

  Gideon turned to face him. Katie was by his side, her cheeks rosy, and she had that glow that women have when they’re with child. How could that be bad? But the actions they did against the church he understood. Bishop Raber from Virginia may feel differently. He let a lot of rules go, but using a phone or playing Eck ball was much different than what Jake had done.

  “Jake, Katie.” Gideon felt the need to keep the meeting formal. If the bishop asked him to be a part of this, he needed to be respectful and observant. When he sat down with the others, it felt right, as if the Lord was telling him this was his place.

  The elders came in with Minister Zeke. Once everyone was greeted, they all sat down facing Katie and Jake. Gideon sat beside the bishop with pen and paper.

  As they went through the process of gathering information, Gideon took down the accounts of Jake and then Katie. The elders and deacon were silent as the bishop asked questions, but not many. Jake convicted himself for what he had done simply by explaining that he’d left without a blessing, married outside their community, and broke his vows. Katie’s hands shook when she tried to recall the timing of everything that had happened. Jake was less remorseful but gave a full confession of going against the church.

  The bishop was silent for a long while, digesting everything he’d heard. “Jake, do you wish to be a part of this congregation?”

  Jake turned to Katie then back to the bishop. “Jah, I do.”

  Zeke stepped in before the bishop could continue. “Discipline is given with great reluctance and only when there is no other way—”

  Omar raised a hand to quiet him. The blotchy color of Zeke’s face darkened with either frustration or embarrassment that the bishop stopped him. Omar looked to Gideon and made a line in the air to scratch the last comments.

  “If you want to be a member of the body, you need to rededicate yourself to Christ, the church, and to the rules of this community. Upon repentance the relationship will be restored and what is in the past stays there.” He studied Jake with pensive eyes.

  “I suggest you and Katie be married and baptized in the church to be recognized by the community as a wed couple. The congregation takes baptism commitment seriously. The statement is meant to be lifelong. Breaking it means breaching your commitment to the Lord Jesus and the body of believers you will make your vow with. Note that I said with, not to.

  He turned to the elders and Zeke. They conversed with one another, and Omar shook his head, which Gideon assumed meant they had nothing to add.

  “We will meet again on the last day of the sixth week from today.” The bishop concluded.

  Katie nodded her understanding. Jake offered his hand, and the bishop accepted. They had a silent prayer then stood to leave.

  Gideon caught Omar’s arm. “That went well, but did everyone really agree?”

  “We all met before and knew most of what went on. The minister and I made the final decisions after listening to everyone. You know we can’t have communion unless t
he matters are agreed upon. We still have a long way to go to get these two groups to be as one. Thank you, gentlemen.” The bishop grinned with satisfaction walked out into the sunshiny day, followed by the others. “Looks like we have some work to do.”

  Gideon waited for Katie and Jake to come out, and when they did, he clasped a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Are you all right?” he asked Katie, now that Jake would be socially shunned.

  “I’m not sure about where I want to be, here or out there, but I can’t imagine not being with our families once the baby comes.” Katie waited for Jake to meet her eyes, and when he did, tears filled them.

  “It sounds like you have some choices to make. I’ll pray for discernment.” Although their ways were demanding, the expression of repentance was powerful when you were corrected by those who want you to live a spiritually prosperous life.

  Gideon looked for Elsie sitting among the women, and as he watched her, he felt blessed. When she caught him staring at her, she raised her brows. He smiled so she’d know all was well and walked out to the field. Nothing unexpected happened; everyone would know the consequences. Now it was up to Katie and Jake as to what they wanted.

  Gideon took in the fresh air. Working the earth was considered communing with God and living a sacred lifestyle. The community integrated almost daily to help one another with their farms. Gideon prayed he would always be able to live off the land.

  When he went to find his horse, he saw him hitched up to Mose’s tiller. When Mose saw him, he stopped at the end of a row. Gideon asked him, “You forget your horse this morning?”

  Mose nodded. “Something like that. He came up lame, and Elsie said it would be all right to use Ross.”

  Gideon was speechless. He glanced over his shoulder to see Elsie staring back at him. Was this a coincidence, or was she trying to get them to play nice? “Sure, mind if I lead?” Gideon was already walking to the driver’s side, but Mose waited until he was right next to the wagon to move over. Gideon had never been angry with Elsie, but this might be the first.

  The bench seat wasn’t long, so their sides touched as they went along. A bump would knock them together, and each time Gideon thought of another unkind word to say to his lovely bride-to-be. He tried to stop the thoughts but couldn’t, and somehow he knew how Elsie must feel constantly telling her conscience to turn around and shape up. And it was exhausting.