by J. L. Madore
“Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. In. Out. On the in, fill your lungs all the way to the floor of your pelvis. On the out, push all the worry and stress up your throat and force it out of your body.”
I breathe with her, working to help her find her center. In truth, even after an intimate morning with Jaxx, she’s back to being tightly strung and anxious. She’s like a coiled spring about to snap. Potential energy building to explode.
“Now, we’re going to visualize. On your inward breath, pick something that’s upsetting you. Focus on it. Give it an image in your mind. Then, on the outward breath speak the name in one word and set it free. Understand?”
She nods, focused, and attentive.
“Breathe in and picture it… now exhale and name it.”
Her breasts rise as her lungs fill and as her lips open on the exhale, she speaks her truth. “Riley.”
“Good. Now take a few more breaths and search your soul for the next stressor you need to release. On the intake, visualize. On the exhale, name it and release it. There’s no wrong answer and I’ll never question you or judge you on anything we share. You’re safe here, Calli.”
She draws two more breaths before she says, “Hawk.”
A moment later, she says, “Aroused.”
And then, “Vulnerable.”
And, “Broken.”
With that, her shoulders relax, her breathing slows. She’s finished exhuming her worries and frustrations. Keeping my voice quiet, I think about the sensations my body experiences as I connect with my wolf.
“With your eyes still closed, open yourself up to the power that now lives within you. Maybe it’s a glow you feel in your chest or a spark in your fingers or an ache in your bones of the promise of power. Whatever it is, connect with it now and greet it with welcome.”
She breathes in and out for a few more breaths and frowns. Her fingers tighten in mine. “I’m trying. I feel it, but it doesn’t want to come to me.”
I can’t imagine having the kind of power Calli does and not being able to connect with it. It must course through her cells in chaos. “Don’t worry. Stay relaxed. Stay focused. You’re not trying to call your phoenix. You merely want to make friends with the power behind her. Immerse yourself in the sensation of the energy.”
She dips her chin and continues with her breathing.
“No expectations, Calli. Just a meet and greet.”
After a couple of more breaths, I know she’s getting there. Her fingers warm in mine and her skin starts to glow.
She’s breathtaking.
“That power is part of you now. Welcome it into your soul. Accept it unconditionally. It is here to help you grow into the female you are meant to become.”
I feel the tingle of her magic in our joined hands. It speaks to my wolf, and calls my animal side forward. When a tear rolls down her cheek, I cup her face and catch it with a gentle sweep of my thumb.
“You’re doing amazing, Calli. I’m so proud of you.”
Her eyes open and the emerald green is ringed by the dancing flames of her phoenix. A fiery second color that is both entrancing and slightly unnerving.
This is who Calli was reborn to become. My mate.
The hunger I felt in the backseat of Hawk’s truck overtakes me as my wolf ascends. With my hand cupping her cheek, I tug her a closer, lean forward, and kiss her.
She groans, tilting her head, and sealing her mouth to mine. Her soft lips are firm, the gentleness I exert soon abandoned to the pressure she desires. I sigh as her tongue slips inside my mouth, tasting me in long, leisurely licks.
Calli’s kiss is confident, skilled, and laced with enough aggression to bring my wolf howling to the foreground. In another second, I’m flat on my back and she’s pressed full-body on top of me. I’m achingly aware of her needs, her arousal driving me wild. Except…
I growl as reality sets in. I ease back and try to calm my wolf. “We need to move inside, Chigua. This isn’t the place.”
Calli groans and I hate myself even more for breaking the moment. I’m aroused, my urge to mate pounding hard in my veins, yet my duty as her guardian overrules everything. “The Bastion is a place of rules, politics, and expectations. We should keep our private lives private.”
“I saw people this morning and I didn’t judge.”
“Yes, but the eyes of the fae people are on us. Expectations are being formed.”
She rolls off my hips and flops back onto the grass, heaving for breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right… gawd, I can’t get a handle on my hunger for you guys. I’m not this sexually depraved.”
I stand, turn to adjust things in my pants, and then offer her a hand to lift her off the grass. “No judgment. Besides, I started it. You’re incredibly beautiful… and this mating heat is consuming… and I’m so honored you’re mine.”
When we get to the glass doors, she pulls me against her body and runs her hand down the back of my jogging pants. Her grip on my backside speaks to how out of control we both still feel. “Consider that foreplay. Tonight, after the reception, I want to strip you down, and have my way with you.”
I let off a long low growl. “I’ll count the minutes.”
Hawk
“Fine. Take these. What else did she send?”
Lukas accepts the folder of signed files and pauses, as if unsure whether to speak.
“What?”
“You’re not all right, so I won’t ask if you are. Is there anything I can do?”
“I’m fine,” I lie. The truth is, my cheek is still on fire, courtesy of the smack of justice served to me by my phoenix a few hours ago. I work my jaw from side to side. Between Brant’s fist the other day and Calli’s slap, a few teeth are loose. That isn’t where my discomfort stems from though.
My cock aches. My head pounds. My life was yanked from my control, annnd worse than all that times a million—another male marked my mate.
I stare at the letter opener at the top of the desk and eat the burn of sexual frustration. Having Calli stand before me with the jaguar’s scent of sex on her skin…
I close my eyes and breathe through my hawk’s rage.
My talons pierce my nailbeds for the hundredth time and I want to scream. Calli took Jaxx into her body.
To say it doesn’t trigger every ounce of my violent, competitive nature, would be a lie. A big one. In all things, I must be the best, the first, the greatest, the most. It serves me well in life. It doesn’t serve me well in this mating.
Ruthless won’t work with Calli. There is, unquestionably a social usefulness to being polite, and treading lightly around other peoples’ sensitivities.
I don’t inherently possess that trait. Why do I care?
“Sir?”
Right. He asked me a question. “I’m fine. What’s next?”
Without questioning the obvious stench of my lie in the air, he hands me a tablet queued up on a news story about a trucker’s remains found burned in Texas. “The human authorities don’t know what to make of it. They can’t explain what could’ve burned so hot out in a clearing like that.”
“There’s nothing to tie Calli to this?”
He shakes his head. “The only one who saw her jump in the cab of his semi once he left the diner is you.”
Good. The asshole deserved to fry. I tap the tablet and scroll through my emails. Almost two hundred a day and I care about maybe ten. I start responding to those. “Is everything ready for tonight for the others?”
“The wardrobes were set out this afternoon. I’ve spoken with the caterers and had shellfish removed from the menu on Kotah’s behalf. The felines weren’t pleased, but it’s taken care of. You and Jaxx will sit to either side of your phoenix, then the wolf next to you and the bear next to the jaguar.”
“And the introduction?”
“Gareth is acting as Master of Ceremonies. He read over what you prepared and agreed to use it.”
“Good. Pomp and fawning will only serve to make her une
asy in a situation that is bound to overwhelm. A simple introduction is best.” I sign off the tablet and hand it back. “And the response from my meeting with the elders?”
“I’ll let you know as soon as I hear.”
“The sooner the better.” I yawn and scrub a rough hand over my face. Between staying on top of FCO management, anticipating the public response for the arrival of a phoenix, worrying about Calli’s safety after the ambush, and this insane mating heat pounding in my cock, sleep has escaped me all week. I shake my head and push up to my feet. “Give me twenty minutes to shower and dress for dinner. We’ll head to the reception as a group.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Calli
When I step around the stone wall of the fireplace, I’m wondering if my girls might burst from the bodice of the ice-blue gown I’m wearing. Hawk has such elegant taste, but I worry this dress highlights how far I’m reaching instead of who I am. It’s stunning—that’s not the issue—it’s just…
I cast a glance across the great room and my mind fractures. My breath lodges in my throat and they catch me standing there with my mouth hanging open.
“You guys are… wow.”
Jaxx and Brant sit, reclining in traditional tuxedos, Kotah is wearing dark chestnut hide pants, a ceremonial beaded jacket, and a silver wolf claw over his choker, and Hawk, off in the back, is dark and dangerous in all black. No, not all black, on his jacket, he wears a tiny gold lapel pin of a phoenix, it’s wings back and flaming.
Wow. How can I even see it, let alone detect the intricate design? Now that I’m looking for it, they all have one. “Guys, honestly… you four… there aren’t words. My heart aches.”
Brant rises from the arm of one of the sofas and kisses my hand. “And yet we pale in your radiance.” He wraps his strong arms around me and gives me a slow, dancefloor spin. “You’ll blow the doors of the place tonight.”
Kotah stands and waits for Brant to nod and step back. My wolf comes to me, offering up a black gift box nestled in his palm. “For you, my Chigua.”
I accept the box and smile. “You’ve called me that before. What does it mean?”
“In my family tongue, Chigua means greatly beloved war woman. It is a title of honor for a woman who exhibits true heroism on the battlefield.”
“I haven’t earned such high praise, yet.”
He doesn’t seem to agree. “Your entire life has been a battle to retain your grace in the face of hardship. You are a warrior, Calli, and I am proud to be one of your guardians.”
My sweet wolf. I kiss his cheek and then open the box.
Under layers of gold tissue, I find a leather charm bracelet intricately woven into a leather cuff. I lift it from its wrapping and examine the five, tiny wooden animal carvings bound within the intertwining strands. I brush the pad of my finger over the depictions of each of us and lose sight of them behind a wall of moisture blocking my vision.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice choked. I hold it out to him to tie it on. “Will you?”
Kotah wraps the leather ends around my wrist several times and knots the bracelet on my wrist. “I thought the wider band of a cuff would fair better than something more feminine and delicate. We seem to find ourselves in unexpected situations and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“I’m not that feminine and delicate myself. It’s perfect.”
“You really like it?”
“I’ll never take it off.” I cup his face in my hands and kiss him. I love his gift and appreciate the time he took in crafting it. As always, my best intentions fly out the window once I connect with him.
Kotah is more comfortable with me in his arms each time I end up here. His calming nature and youthful passion are addictive. It’s not the sharp, lusty pull I feel when I’m near Jaxx. It’s sweeter. He’s warm chocolate melting on my tongue.
I can’t get enough of him.
A male chuckle rumbles beside us and I remember the others are watching and waiting. “I think that’s a yes, pup. I’d say she likes it very much.”
I ease back, breathless and meet Brant’s playful gaze. “Hello, Bear.”
Brant winks. “Hello to you, beautiful.”
I turn to Kotah, standing at my side and finger his silky hair. He’s wearing it down tonight and it makes him look exotic. “Thank you. Your gift is beautiful and thoughtful and it fills my heart that you crafted it for me. Yes, I love it.”
Kotah’s smile is as sweet as it is genuine.
My world recalibrates as things I didn’t understand shift into place within me. When I look deep into Brant’s golden eyes, certainties resonate in my soul. The four of us were strangers only days ago, but now we’re not.
They are mine… or at least, they can be.
Brant’s waiting patiently, as always. He’s never pushed in or tried to advance on me, instead, he watches over me and protects me without expecting anything in return.
I rake my fingers through his dark hair and love how it hangs in loose, messy waves to his broad shoulders. “It occurs to me that you and I haven’t had much time together, Bear.”
He slides a strong arm around my back and pulls us chest to chest. “Good thing I’m in this for the long term.”
I reach up on my tiptoes but still come nowhere close to his lips. Strong hands against my ribs lift me so I see him eye to eye. I wet my lips with my tongue, consumed by the hopeful anticipation beaming in his expression.
“What do you say, Bear? Care to try out our chemistry?”
“Thought you’d never ask.” He pulls me close and I close the distance to his mouth. Whatever this is, the wildling mating bond or a phoenix and her guardian thing or the devotion of a male who seems to genuinely care about me, it is bliss to kiss him. Magic.
Where a kiss with Kotah is reverence and excitement, Brant’s is confident and filled with promises. As his mouth claims mine, the primal growl of his bear rumbles in my chest and my nipples tighten under the smooshed bodice of my gown. I follow the primal call, deepening the kiss, gripping a fistful of hair as his tongue’s teasing caress invades. The man has a gift. One I’m now hungry to explore.
Is this what it will be like? Sweet mercies, I hope so.
After what feels like an age, but couldn’t have been much more than a few minutes, a gentle hand presses on my back. “Kitten, as much as I wish we could stay in together tonight and explore our bond. We are expected.”
Right. I recede from the sexual spell Kotah and then Brant put me under and end our kiss. “That was lovely, Bear. Hold that thought.”
“Consider it an open invitation.”
When my feet touch the ground, my legs aren’t strong enough to hold me steady. Jaxx takes possession of me then. His wide, white smile dazzles me and I recognize the intent in his turquoise eyes. “I thought you said, we need to leave?”
“Your longings must wait until later, but fair is fair. If they get to say how delectable you look in this dress and give you a good luck kiss for tonight, then so do I.”
Over the hours shared this morning, Jaxx and I grew comfortable with one another. Not only comfortable but possessive. His fingers press on the nape of my neck and pull me into his kiss. My hand slides down the front of his pants and I rub the heel of my palm over the hard ridge filling out the front of his suit pants.
The purr that rips from his chest is all sex and seduction. It stirs up images of our naked play this morning and makes me want to strip down and ditch the entire evening outside this cabin.
Jaxx is the one to end the kiss. He checks that I’m steady on my feet and then brushes the back of his finger along my jaw. “Save a dance for me, kitten. I want to show you off.”
With my mind spinning, I turn to the back of the room.
Hawk has his spine pressed against the wall beside a mahogany sideboard. He’s taking it all in, his posture dominant, his stance tense. I start toward him and focus on my footing. I don’t want to faceplant on the floor before I close the distance
. As I draw nearer, he eyes me warily.
But as guarded as he is, hunger smolders in his gaze.
Our bond is strengthening. We all feel the same pull. I feel how much he wants me, despite himself. Yes, I’m still hurt and angry, but I meant what I said to the others this afternoon. Jaxx forgave me. I will work on forgiving Hawk.
I stop right before him and hold out my hand. “What do you say, Hawk? Before you decide whether or not to walk away, don’t you think you should sample the goods and maybe see what it could be like?”
He purses his lips in an arrogant smile and his jaw flexes. “I have no doubt the mating bond makes it seem incredible but that’s not reality.”
“Reality is merely an illusion,” I say, quoting Einstein. I place my hand against the silky lapel of his suit and touch the little phoenix pin. He’s behind this. I see his little touches in the details of our lives. They’re small things but they prove that we’re always on his mind.
“I won’t beg,” I say. “You know I want you to give this a chance. If you think that even a little kiss is too much for you to commit to, then I support your right to say no.”
The challenge in my voice brings the rush of his animal side rising to meet me head on—as I expected. I take a half-step closer and the hair on my arms stands on end.
When I think he might grapple me and press hard against my body, he bends forward and gives me a brusque brush of his lips. “The dress doesn’t do you justice, Spitfire. Still, you will outshine every female there with the glory of a radiant sun next to the short-lived light of shooting stars.”
I barely got a taste of him and my heart beats faster with the threat that he’ll let this moment slip away from us. “Come now, Hawk. Are you afraid I’ll ruffle your feathers? Kiss me, like you mean it. Show me what all the fuss is about. You bathe in women, right? Show me the magic.”
His steel-gray eyes narrow on me as a hungry sound reverberates from his chest. Nope. He has himself locked down so tight, he’s not going to do anything he doesn’t want to.
