Once Upon A Beast

by KB Winters

  “Wow.”

  I looked up from my underwear drawer and clenched my thighs tight. He was reclined on the bed with his head resting in his hands, legs spread from corner to corner and a wicked smile on his face. And his cock slowly growing longer and harder by the second. “What?” And all my desire was written all over my voice.

  “That was a whole lot of thinking so early in the morning with me, here, happy to see you.” He patted the bed beside him and like the lovesick puppy I was, I went to him. “I am happy to see, you know. More than happy, ecstatic.”

  I buried my face in his chest and inhaled his clean, masculine scent. I would never think of ocean and sandalwood the same again. “I’m happy to see you too, Ethan.”

  “But?”

  My whole body sank deeper into the mattress as though by the sheer force of my humiliation, I could melt into the damn thing. “But,” I asked without removing my face from his chest. It was cowardly and I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t look at his face as he dismissed me a second time. “Just say it.” I should be grateful he hadn’t brought it up sooner, then again, why would he forfeit sex when he already knew the outcome?

  “Say what?” The fan of his breath brushed against my shoulder and I squeezed my eyes tighter, savoring the feel of his hard body against mine.

  “Whatever it is you flew all the way out here to tell me.” I told myself it wouldn’t hurt as much this time because I’d been expecting it. Not only that but I didn’t let my feelings interfere with my job. Much. Despite the lapse in professional judgment, it had all turned out—

  “I love you.”

  “What?” I shot up off his chest, eyes wide and heart racing. I probably looked like a crazy person and he was already regretting his words. “What did you say?”

  He frowned, thick brows crinkled in confusion. “I said I love you, Misha.”

  “Why did you say that?”

  His lips twitched and I pointed a finger at him, making him quickly blank his features. “Because I love you.”

  “Are you sure?” Who was I kidding, I wanted to believe it as much I wanted to keep believing in Santa Claus.

  “Pretty sure, yeah.”

  Pretty sure. I didn’t like the sound of that and told him as much. “Sounds to me like a man hedging his bets.”

  His arms flexed as he pushed himself up against the headboard, tugging me along with him. “I regretted sending you away almost immediately but I was scared, I guess. We were getting close.”

  “Too close.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed with a sheepish smile. “And I felt like I relied on you too much. I couldn’t let that happen again.”

  Which meant what, exactly? That he loved me but couldn’t be with me? “I understand.” Loving someone hurt. It required a kind of endurance that most people weren’t strong enough to handle. Once you’ve lost someone, or three in Ethan’s case, it grew harder and harder to open yourself up to it. “Thank you for telling me.” I tried to move away but he held me tighter, one hand around my shoulder and the other hand resting on my stomach.

  “I don’t think I’m being very clear.” He didn’t sound pleased and I braved a look at him.

  “No, but I understand.”

  “What do you think you understand?”

  I bristled at his tone but maybe it would be better for me if I said it aloud. Hearing me say it and having Ethan confirm it might help with healing. Maybe. Hopefully. “You love me but you don’t want to, so you don’t want me.”

  He scoffed. “And people say you’re the smart one.”

  I frowned and twisted to look up at him. “Hey!”

  “I’m telling you that I am in love with you Misha, where does me not wanting to be with you come into that?”

  His expression seemed affectionately annoyed and baffled, his blue eyes pleading with me to listen. To believe. I wanted to, more than anything I wanted to believe his words because they were my heart’s greatest wish. But how could I? The women Ethan dated were nothing like me and right now maybe that was part of my charm. But when that charm wore off, where would I be?

  “Are you going to say anything? Answer me?”

  His deep voice pulled me from my thoughts. “You do?” I could hear the shakiness in my own voice and the way his brows tensed with concern told me I sounded a little too desperate.

  “Yes woman, I love you and I want to be with you! Why is that so hard to understand?”

  I sighed. “I don’t know Ethan. Until this moment you’ve been so closed off to the idea of love and I can’t tell if—” My emotions were getting the best of me and I paused, took a few deep breaths and looked at him, so beautiful my heart ached at the thought of not having him in my life on a permanent basis.

  “If, what?” He leaned forward, crowding me in his eagerness for an answer.

  “I can’t tell if this is gratitude that everything turned out so well for you, or if this is genuine.” It wouldn’t be the first time a client had taken gratitude for love, but it was a first for me.

  “Bullshit. You know me well enough to know that.”

  “Okay, let’s say you’re right. Weeks ago, you didn’t need my services, didn’t need me. You said so yourself,” I reminded him and was met with a chagrined look. “Then your interview is over, it was a rousing success and all is right with your world and suddenly, now, you love me? Why wouldn’t I question it?”

  “Hell, Misha I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it. I needed some space and I went about it wrong. And you’re right, I did say all that and the timing does seem suspect. But you’re forgetting one important thing.”

  “What’s that,” I asked, afraid to let my heart hope.

  “Spending all those weeks without you. That’s when I started to realize that maybe I’d made a mistake. At first, I was miserable and I just sat out on the back deck staring into the ocean and trying not to think about you. Then I started going through the motions but I was still missing you and I picked up the phone to call you at least a hundred times.”

  I smiled at the image of him dialing and hanging up before the call connected. “You didn’t call.” Not until the night before his big interview and he’d needed reassurance.

  “I couldn’t. I had to prove to you and to myself that I wasn’t calling for your expertise. I had to get through Samantha Stevens without you, so you know. It was something I remembered Wallace said to me.”

  Wallace? “My dad?”

  Ethan nodded with a smile. “Over all that alcohol and conversation, he gave me some insight into you that I remembered too late. When I got that text from you right before my interview, I remembered.” He looked at me with soft blue eyes, his fingertips traced the line of my jaw before his thumb swiped across my bottom lip. “You gave me words of encouragement, that I needed at that moment. Just you, Misha. No one else. But it was that last part, the ‘I love you’ that really brought it all back home. You loved me but instead of staying and fighting with me, you left because you wanted me to get my company and my reputation back.”

  “Of course I did, Ethan. You deserved it.”

  His smile came quickly but it faded just as fast. “Maybe, but I realized in those moments before my interview, that I wanted you more. You are beautiful and crazy, you eat the unhealthiest food of any person I’ve ever known, you make me laugh. You understand me.” He held my face in his hands so I had no choice but to look at him. As if I could look away now. “You somehow get me to talk without realizing that I’m opening up, and the way you share memories, even painful ones, inspires me.”

  “Ethan,” I began but I was too choked up to try to say anything.

  He grinned. “Good, you’re starting to see the truth.” He pressed a quick kiss to the tip of my nose and his whole expression softened. “I did call you the night before the interview but not because you’re a magical sorceress with head cases like me. It was because yours was the only voice that could calm me enough to think. Because your voice is the one in my
head. It’s my conscience.”

  Ah, hell. “Ethan, stop.”

  He frowned. “Why?”

  “Why?” He nodded, looking worried and more than a little upset. “Because it’s my turn to talk.”

  “Okay,” he nodded, resigned that he couldn’t handle my part of the conversation. “But just tell me one thing. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”

  I nodded. “Yes Ethan, I love you. I am in love with you.”

  The grin that split his face was so beautiful with laugh lines that gave his handsome features more depth. More ruggedness. “That’s good to know.”

  “I figured it out, I’m guessing, around the same time you did. Before Wake Up, America.” His skin turned pink at my reminder. “But I wasn’t there for me or my feelings and when it became clear you didn’t feel the same way, I knew I did the right thing in keeping it to myself.”

  “And now?”

  My smiled spread wide from cheek to cheek. “Well now that you’re saying you love me, and I love you, we should figure out what comes next. Don’t you think?” I held my breath and waited for his answer.

  “There’s nothing to figure out, Misha. You’re mine and I am yours. Forever. Any questions?”

  I nodded, a saucy grin forming on my face. “Just one. Can we have makeup sex?”

  He nodded and gathered me close. “God, I love you Misha.”

  I pushed at his chest until he was flat on his back and straddled his waist. “I love you too, Mr. Mahoney.”

  “I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he groaned.

  Yeah, me either.

  Twenty-Three

  Ethan

  The last time I’d taken two weeks off work was back when I was modeling and had plenty of down time. In the past decade though, I’d worked myself into the ground with eighty-hour weeks, dinner meetings, galas and weekend retreats. Never any downtime.

  Until now.

  This was the best vacation I’d ever had and it had everything to do with the woman beside me. After finally letting it sink in that I loved her and wanted a future with her, I moved into the tiny camper with her and we set about seeing the rest of New Zealand. Making love under the stars all night—I bought a tent so no one but me could see my woman—and exploring all day was an experience that I’d never forget. I had never felt so relaxed, so happy. So free.

  “That’s a lot of thinking for so early in the morning,” Misha said and rolled so half her body sprawled on top of mine.

  I smiled and turned, holding her tight because it was my favorite position in the whole world. “I was thinking how happy I’ve been for the past week.”

  “Ten days,” she corrected with a cheeky grin as she pressed a kiss just over my heart. “Not that I’m counting or anything.”

  “Of course not.” I loved that she was so playful, so unconscious of her own sex appeal as that mass of blond hair nearly consumed us. “I love this. Me and you, the beach and the stars.”

  “What more could I ask for?”

  She looked so happy she radiated sunshine. Happiness. Love. “I can’t think of a thing,” I told her but the truth was I had more planned. We landed in Invercargill last night but I’d picked up a little something in Dunedin to celebrate our last night together on the island.

  We both laughed when her stomach rumbled and her skin turned pink with embarrassment. “Okay so maybe there is one thing I could ask for.”

  We showered and dressed before leaving the campsite in search of breakfast, finding a small beachside café to satisfy our hunger. “Fish for breakfast, who ever heard of such a thing?”

  Her amused laughter pulled a smile from me and fuck, I could listen to that sound for the rest of my life. “Are you kidding? It’s an excellent source of protein and omegas. It’s total brain food.” She took a bite and I held back a groan at the shiny lips that met my stare. “In fact, I’m surprised you don’t eat it every day for breakfast.”

  My gaze narrowed and she laughed again. “You know Misha, I missed you so much I ate a cheeseburger.” At her disbelieving stare I clarified. “Okay so it was organic beef and cheese on a whole grain bun, but still.”

  She tilted her head to the side in that sweet move that said she was touched but also fighting a laugh. “You missed me.”

  “So damn much.” It was like a memory now, in the distant past. I could hardly remember what it was like to miss her and I never wanted to find out again. “Now you’re here.”

  “I am.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Me too,” I told her and stole the final sliver of fish off her plate. “Come on.” I grabbed her hand and we walked along the water.

  “Is it bad that I don’t want to leave?”

  Only if she didn’t want me to stay with her. “No, not bad.”

  “But irresponsible,” she finished with a resigned slump of her shoulders.

  “No. We both have lives and families on the other side of the world.”

  “We do, don’t we? And they’re too great to abandon. Damn them.”

  I barked out a laugh and twirled her around in the sand until we fell into a heap on the ground. “We can’t damn them, if not for Jax, you and I wouldn’t have ended up together.”

  Those words were met with a fiery kiss that would have burned out of control if not for an errant soccer ball to the back of my head. “Your brother is pretty great.”

  “Wallace too.”

  “Fine,” she conceded. “I’m ready to go.”

  That was music to my ears because everything I needed to make her mine was waiting for us on a nearby airstrip. “Let’s go!” I pulled her up and we practically ran back to the camper, where it took us another hour to even start packing. My girl couldn’t get enough of me and damnit, I loved it.

  “Okay,” she said with a sigh, two hours later as we turned the camper in after a thorough cleaning. “I guess now we say goodbye to our island adventure.”

  Anxiety shot through my body as the taxi came to a stop at the airstrip. My legs felt stiff as I got out and helped Misha out. The steps between us and the jet seemed endless. But when we got to the staircase, I let her go ahead of me, suddenly feeling lighter. Like it would all go off as planned. “Hopefully,” I muttered to myself.

  “Oh, Ethan!” She gasped as she walked onto the jet where I’d had the attendants along with several caterers set things up. Big green eyes filled with tears as they looked at me in shock before turning back to, well, everything. There were wildflowers everywhere, a rainbow of colors because that’s what she was to me. “Look at all this, you did this for me?”

  I nodded. “Who else would I have done this for, other than the woman I love?”

  She came to a stop at the large table in the center, filled with all the junk she loved. “Ethan, I don’t need you to change who you are for me, I love you just the way you are. Annoyingly healthy.”

  I laughed and pulled her into my arms, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “I’m not changing because I love you, unhealthy food choices and all. But this food and these flowers, are us. I know you hate to kill flowers for your own personal enjoyment, but I needed to do this to show you how much you mean to me. These flowers, to me, represent your wild and free spirit. And this food is what we will have for the rest of our lives.”

  Her grin lit up her face and I felt my heart swell to three times its normal size. “Junk food?”

  “Healthy, organic, chemical free junk food that was prepared by a professional chef.”

  She flung her arms around my neck and laughed. “The best of both worlds. I already love it.” Her lips pressed against mine, slow and sweet and loving. “But not as much as I love you.”

  I would never get tired of hearing her say those words. “Good because I love you more than anything, sweetheart. Being with you is the best possible thing I could imagine in this world.”

  “Ethan,” she gasped and hugged me tight, burying her face in my chest. “This is a much better way to say goodbye
to our island adventure.”

  “Only goodbye to the island. Our adventures are only just beginning.” I pulled the ring from my pocket, the ring that I knew was perfect for her. A white gold band with sapphires and teal blue diamonds in to asymmetrical lines that wrapped nearly all the way around the band. “Misha Trent, my fixer, my hippie chic, love of my life, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”

  “Oh my God! Ethan!” She wrapped her arms around me and smacked a kiss against my lips. “Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.”

  Music to my ears. “The sooner the better.” I needed to make her mine, as soon as possible.

  She pressed in close until every inch of our bodies lined up perfectly and we kissed until the pilot’s voice interrupted us. “How soon do you think we could plan a wedding?”

  “Not soon enough for me, babe.”

  She laughed and kissed me again. “Well, we do have forever together. What’s the hurry?”

  What’s the hurry? “I’m ready to get our forever on!”

  Epilogue

  Misha ~ 1 year (and 10 days) later

  “You ready for this?” My dad’s smiling face instantly calmed my nerves even though I had no reason to be nervous. I’d already been through this once before, this time was just much, much bigger.

  “What’s there to be ready for? This is the easy part.” Wearing the silk maxi dress was tedious with all the straps I thought sexy and beautiful just eight weeks ago, particularly in my current state, but with a team of professionals I had to do little more than stand or sit when prompted. Hair and makeup were done for me, and Edith and the girls helped get me into sexy lingerie and my wedding dress. “We’re already married.”

  “I know,” he grinned and leaned in conspiratorially. “I was there, remember?”