Fool for Love

by Marie Force

  "Are you angry with him? With Joe?"

  "I'm shocked, to be honest. It's so unlike him. I just keep wondering what David could've said to set him off."

  "You'll find out soon enough."

  "Yeah, well… First things first."

  "Want me to come in with you?"

  "Oh! Would you? That'd be great."

  "Let's go."

  Inside, they asked for David and were shown to a curtained cubicle at the end of a long hallway. Glancing at Maddie for courage, Janey stuck her head inside and gasped at the sight of David bruised and bloody and swollen. Damn! Joe had done quite a number on him!

  "Well, look who it is," David said with a bitter edge to his voice. "My missing fiancée." His face was so distorted he didn't even sound like himself. "Where the heck have you been, Janey? I've been trying to call you for days!"

  As if she was meeting him for the first time, she studied the thick dark hair she'd so loved running her fingers through, the piercing blue eyes, the strong jaw and sensuous lips. David Lawrence had always made her heart race, but looking at him now, she felt dead inside. "I had … um … some stuff to take care of."

  "What kind of stuff? And what the hell's wrong with Joe?"

  "Did you say something to him?"

  "I said hello. That was it. Next thing I know, I'm on my ass with a broken nose that hurts like a mother." Under each eye was the start of what would no doubt be colorful shiners—the least of what he deserved. "What'd I ever do to him?"

  Since Janey couldn't very well answer that question, she said nothing. He didn't seem to notice as he continued to rant.

  "You didn't tell me what 'things' you had to take care of that kept you from calling me back for three days."

  He sounded sulky and petulant. Did she dare remind him of the many times over their years together that she'd waited sometimes a week for a return call from him while he was doing who knows what with other women? As she studied him, she decided it wasn't worth the bother of the argument. What did it matter now?

  "We need to talk—"

  "Where's your ring?"

  Her brain froze on the image of the buxom blonde riding him hard.

  "What the hell is going on here, Janey?"

  "It's over," she said softly. Thirteen years of her life. Gone. Done. Over. And she had absolutely nothing to show for them.

  "What is?"

  "We are."

  "What are you—"

  "I saw you."

  His eyebrows knitted with confusion, which apparently pained him. Tears flooded his eyes, but Janey wasn't naive enough to think they were for her. Not anymore. "You saw me? Where?"

  Janey felt like she was floating above herself, looking down at someone who looked like her and sounded like her but wasn't her at all. "In bed."

  "You're talking in riddles," he said, exasperated. "When did you see me in bed?"

  "I came to your apartment on our anniversary to surprise you, but the surprise was on me. You should really lock your doors when you're 'entertaining.'"

  All the remaining color drained from his face when he finally got what she was telling him. "You don't understand."

  "You're goddamned right I don't." Janey gave herself credit for keeping her voice down when she really wanted to shriek and rail and punch him until he hurt as much as she did. "And guess what? I really don't want to understand."

  "Wait. Janey, listen—"

  "There's nothing you can say and nothing you can ever do to get the image of you having sex with another woman out of my head."

  "It's not what you think."

  Janey laughed when she wanted to cry. "You're probably going to tell me you were conducting medical research or some other lame story that you'll expect me to believe."

  "It only happened once."

  "I don't believe you."

  "I swear to God!"

  "Don't swear to God and then lie to my face. You'll go to hell."

  He touched his wounded face and winced. "Already there."

  "You don't know hell!" She no longer cared about keeping her voice down. "You didn't have to see me writhing around in bed with another guy!"

  "You don't get it, Janey. Work is so stressful, I miss you so much, and there's this other thing going on… I just needed to take the edge off."

  She stared at him, incredulous. "I offered to move to Boston so I could 'take the edge off' anytime you wanted, but you said I should stay on the island. At least now I know why you were so anxious to keep me tucked away where I couldn't 'surprise' you anytime I needed to take the edge off."

  "Janey—"

  "You've made a fool of me and a mockery of all the years I spent waiting for you. I was always faithful to you."

  "She means nothing to me. You're the one I love. I've always loved you, and you know that."

  Images of Joe making sweet love to her chose that moment to pop into her overworked brain. "If you really loved me, you wouldn't have 'taken the edge off' with other women while you were engaged to me." Deciding she wanted nothing to remind her of all the years she'd spent so foolishly devoted to him, Janey dug the ring out of her bag.

  She dropped it on the bed and took one last long look at the man she'd loved all her life. "Don't get any ideas about pressing charges against Joe. You're lucky he only broke your nose. He and Mac were quite prepared to kill you after they heard what you'd done. I told them you weren't worth the trouble. Turns out I was right about that. Have a nice life."

  Turning, she battled her way through the curtain to the hallway, where Maddie leaned against the wall looking embarrassed to have overheard the exchange.

  "Janey!" David called. "Wait!"

  "Get me out of here," she muttered to Maddie. Her legs suddenly felt like spaghetti, and Janey wasn't sure they'd support her weight for much longer. "Please just get me out of here."

  "I've got you." As Maddie put an arm around her and hustled her through the waiting room, Janey felt every eye in the place on her. She and David hadn't been quiet. News of their broken engagement was probably already burning up the island phone lines.

  "Oh, God, my parents," Janey whispered. "They should hear this from me, not the gossips."

  "I'll take you to them. Just hang in there. The worst part is over."

  "How'd I do?"

  "Better than I would have. You held yourself together and got through it with your dignity intact."

  That might be true, Janey thought, but hearing him casually confess to being unfaithful had broken what was left of her heart.

  Chapter 9

  Maddie called ahead to let Janey's mother know they were coming, so Janey wasn't surprised to find both her parents, Mac, and Joe waiting for her at "The White House," the nickname the locals had given the McCarthy's two-story colonial that overlooked North Harbor. Down the hill from the house was McCarthy's Gansett Inn and McCarthy's Marina.

  The first thing she noticed when she and Maddie stepped into the kitchen was Joe's swollen right hand. Before she could say anything about it, however, her mother rushed her. Janey could see her mother had been crying, which made her mad all over again at David.

  "Oh, sweetie! I don't know what to say."

  "I'm sorry you heard it from someone other than me."

  "Don't worry about that," Linda said, stroking a hand over Janey's back. "All we care about is that you're okay."

  "I suppose I will be. Eventually."

  "These things take time, honey," Big Mac said.

  Janey absorbed the comfort of her mother's embrace for a long, quiet moment. When she opened her eyes, she found Joe watching her intently. An odd current of awareness zipped through her, reminding her once again of the connection they'd shared during their time together.

  She wanted a moment alone with him but knew it couldn't happen now.

  Big Mac was next in line for a hug, and he lifted Janey off her feet. Surrounded by her father's familiar scent and overwhelming love, Janey finally broke. "Aww, baby," he said, holding her ti
ght against him. "It's gonna be all right. I promise you'll be just fine. We'll see to that, won't we, Lin?"

  "You bet we will."

  Her parents guided her to a sofa in the family room and sat on either side of her. The others followed, hovering on the perimeter of her disaster.

  "So will we," Mac said, standing with his arm around Maddie, who nodded in agreement.

  Joe remained a quiet observer, but upon another quick glance, Janey noticed a tick of tension at work in his cheek. She looked away, unable to process all the emotion she felt coming from him. He no doubt wanted to scoop her up and take her away somewhere until she stopped hurting so badly.

  "What happened at the clinic, honey?" Linda asked.

  As Janey relayed as much of the conversation with David as she could bear to repeat, she watched Joe slip from the room and wished she could go after him. She hated that he was hurting, too.

  Mac kissed Maddie's forehead and followed his friend.

  Janey swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "We'll have to cancel the wedding. You've spent all that money—"

  "Don't give it a thought," Linda said. "We'll worry about that when you're ready to."

  "I hate him for doing this to me," Janey whispered. "For ruining everything."

  "So do we, honey," Big Mac said, squeezing her shoulder. "So do we."

  Joe couldn't take another minute of listening to Janey's heartbreak. He'd already endured more than he could handle. Flexing his bruised hand, he winced at the shaft of pain that greeted the movement.

  "Takes about a week," Mac said.

  Turning to his friend, Joe said, "What does?"

  "The hand. It took about a week for mine to heal after I flattened Darren Tabor."

  Joe smiled. "Ah yes. I remember now. Another broken nose to our credit."

  "Both times, they had it coming."

  Darren, the loser who'd already ruined Maddie's reputation with false rumors in high school, had made an off-color comment about her voluptuous figure that Mac hadn't appreciated.

  "Except you're not known as the hothead of this duo," Mac reminded him. "In fact, I suspect this might be the first broken nose to your credit."

  "You suspect correctly."

  "What gives, man?"

  Joe stared out over the expansive view of North Harbor. "I saw his smug, smiling face and something snapped."

  "So he didn't even say anything?"

  "I believe he said hello."

  Mac laughed. "Goddamn him."

  "Exactly."

  "So much for being subtle."

  Joe looked over at his friend. "Where has that gotten me?"

  "Joe—"

  He held up a hand to stop Mac from saying any more. "I don't want to talk about it."

  "You just need to bide your time," Mac said softly. "Give her a couple of months to get past this, and then maybe…"

  "A couple of months." To Joe that sounded like a lifetime. One night without her and he'd managed to get drunk, throw up and punch someone. What would he look like after sixty nights without her?

  "It seems like forever right now, but you've already waited forever. What's a little while longer?"

  Joe's laugh was tight with irony.

  Mac rested a hand on his shoulder. "What can I do for you? I hate to see you so spun up."

  "Nothing. Like you said, I just have to bide my time. Somehow." In a perfect world, Janey would realize on her own that they were meant to be together and come to him, ready to plan their future. However, Joe had no illusions that he lived in a perfect world.

  "Just think about what might be waiting for you on the other end."

  That was the problem—Joe already knew exactly what was waiting for him, and he had no idea how to live without her for even a couple of weeks. "Yeah." He'd never before felt so out of sorts, like he was coming out of his own skin. "I need to get out of here."

  "Where do you want to go? I've got the bike." Mac referred to his old motorcycle. "I can take you."

  "Back to work, I guess. I've taken enough time off, and I can only imagine how they're all buzzing after watching me get carted off by the cops."

  "They'll forget about it in a day or two. Come on, I'll give you a lift."

  Joe followed Mac inside where Linda was forcing some soup on Janey. She glanced up, and their eyes met. A current of electricity crackled between them, and Joe wondered how it was possible everyone on the room didn't feel it. Before he succeeded in broadcasting his utter misery to her entire family, Joe mumbled a quick good-bye and thank you on his way to the front door. He was surprised when Janey, rather than Mac, followed him.

  "Joe! Wait!"

  "Go back inside, Janey. I can't do this right now."

  She grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. "Please."

  Oh God, this woman was his kryptonite! He turned, took a breath and put his hands on his hips. It took all his fortitude to make contact with those pale blue eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

  "Why did you hit him?"

  "Because he was there." Joe looked down at the ground, his eyes connecting with her delicate feet in flip-flops. A heated memory of pressing kisses to her sensitive arches came rushing back like a punch to the gut.

  "Joe," she whispered, resting a hand on his arm. "You're so tense. I hate seeing you like this." She reached for his bruised hand.

  He pulled it back and cast an uneasy gaze at the house, certain he'd find faces in every window. But no one was watching. Bringing his eyes back to her and absorbing the familiar burst of longing that occurred every time he saw her, he steeled himself to do what he knew he had to do, even if it killed him. "What happened between us was a mistake, Janey."

  The flash of hurt that crossed her expressive face was the first nail in his coffin. "How can you say that?"

  "Your father and Mac would kill me if they knew—"

  "Why did you hit him?"

  "Because he was smiling and smug and satisfied, coming to see you like nothing was wrong after what he'd done to you!" Joe's head felt like it might explode. He needed to get out of there, to get away from her. Now. "I have to go."

  She clutched his arm. "Not like this."

  "I can't do this! It's like I'm losing my mind! I hit someone! I got thrown in jail. Last night I got so drunk I puked outside the Beachcomber. I can't deal with it!"

  "What can't you deal with?"

  He stared at her, incredulous. As he became more agitated, she seemed to get calmer. "Any of it. You, him, us."

  "It's over between me and him."

  "On paper, maybe." In a jerky motion, he ran his hands through his hair, which served to dislodge her warm hand from his arm. "We both know you have a long way to go before you'll be over it."

  "Maybe not so long. There's something about seeing your fiancé having sex with someone else that speeds up the process."

  "You were just crying your eyes out over him ten minutes ago."

  "I'm much more sad about losing the dream than I am about losing him." She quirked her head as the realization settled over her. "Hmm, I didn't get that until I said it out loud."

  "You don't have to lose the dream, Janey." As the words fell from his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Hadn't he just called what'd happened between them a mistake?

  "I don't?"

  Even though everything in him was urging him to run, he couldn't look away. He shook his head. "No," he said softly. "You can still have anything and everything you want with someone who would never betray you the way he did."

  "Come to my place tonight. After work."

  Joe finally tore his eyes off her and looked to the heavens for guidance. "That's not a good idea."

  "Please?"

  "This isn't how I want it to go. We should wait until you're ready, until the time is right." Yeah, Joe, he thought, great ideas. Too bad you didn't have them before you slept with her.

  "I know you'll think I'm in shock or denial or something, but what I feel is very calm inside. If someone had told me, 'D
avid is cheating on you,' I probably wouldn't have believed it. But I saw him … with her… I have no choice but to believe what would've been unbelievable to me only a few days ago. I'm not in denial, Joe. I promise you that. And I don't want to think about him anymore." She looked up and turned those potent eyes on him. "I felt good when I was with you. I want to feel that way again."

  His entire body was riddled with tension as he studied her and fought a silent war with himself.

  "Will you come?" she asked.

  Who was he kidding? Like he could really say no to her. "Yeah." He uttered the single word and walked away while he still had a shred of sanity left. Funny how he'd thought loving her from afar had made him crazy. That was nothing compared to this.

  Chapter 10

  Calling himself five kinds of idiot as he watched the last boat of the day depart the island, Joe returned to the Beachcomber to shower, shave and change out of the clothes he'd worn to clean one of the boats. Upon returning to the ferry landing earlier, he'd refused to answer any of the questions his employees were burning to ask about his arrest and had thrown himself into the demanding physical work in an effort to take his mind off everything that had happened. Too bad it hadn't helped.

  Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he had to admit he looked like shit. The lingering effects of too much booze, not enough sleep and a couple of hours in jail had left him looking haggard, and his hand hurt like a bastard. "You absolutely should not go over there tonight, do you hear me?" he said to the mirror. "Are you listening?"

  Turning away, he muttered, "I didn't think so." He pulled on a clean shirt and buttoned khaki cargo shorts. "You're just going to talk to her. You have to convince her we need to wait until the dust settles with David. We can't blow our chance. We have to do it right. And no matter what, no touching. No matter what!" Marshalling all his defenses, he grabbed his wallet and keys, left the room and headed downstairs, where he ran into Luke Harris, their high school classmate and Mac's right hand at the marina. "Hey, Luke, how's it going?"

  The two men shook hands, and Joe winced at the pain that caused him.

  "Joe." Never one to be chatty, Luke sized him up with an amused expression. "Good day?"