Almost Broken: If I Break #2

by Moore, Portia

  “Is that okay, Lauren?” Chris asks, clearing his throat. I finally manage to walk over to Chris and hand Caylen to him. He sits her on his lap, she immediately starts reaching for the cookies in the middle of the table. Chris looks at Caylen adoringly.

  “She’s definitely yours,” Jenna says with a chuckle and I let out a very dry laugh. Is that supposed to be a joke?

  “Hi, there. I’m Jenna” she says, leaning forward as she watches Caylen eat her cookie. I want to throw up.

  “She’s beautiful, Chris,” she says, touching one of her pigtails, and I wonder how long I should stand here before she acknowledges I’m in the room.

  “Lauren, you always dress her so adorably,” Mrs. Scott says, and I try to force a smile but none comes. “Don’t you think, Jenna?” she says, obviously attempting to give Jenna a hint.

  “It’s very pretty,” she says flatly, keeping her eyes on Chris and Caylen, and I feel my cheeks start to burn. She’s doing this on purpose, not acknowledging me. The same way Mr. Scott did. Caylen’s a packaged deal with Chris that I’m not included in.

  “You know Katie was saying our wedding colors should be yellow and white, but I thought it was too simple. I’m thinking of something more chic like taupe.” She glances up at me. Chris’s face flushes, and I feel my throat starting to burn.

  “I think yellow is a beautiful color,” Mrs. Scott says, I try to ignore the mounting pressure in my head.

  “We took Caylen to the zoo last time they were here. She loves animals just like I do,” Chris interrupts, trying to ease the tension in the room.

  “Would a one year-old even know what’s going on at the zoo?” she asks in a playful tone, but it comes off condescending to me. Is she really trying to offend me?

  “I think we all had a nice time,” I say. I don’t realize the edge in my voice until their heads jerk in my direction. Chris looks nervous, Mrs. Scott smiles at me warmly, while Jenna gives me a mirthless grin.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it,” she says innocently, but her tone is far from apologetic.

  “Jenna’s not really a kid person.” Chris chuckles nervously, and she gives him an offended look.

  “What does that mean?” she asks sharply.

  “I just meant you’re not really around kids much.” He throws up his hands in defense.

  “Just because I don’t want to have a thousand of them doesn’t mean kids don’t like me,” she says, rolling her eyes at him, and at that moment it’s solidified; I don’t like Jenna. Her attitude makes me feel a whole better about the fact that I want my husband; her fiancé.

  “I’m sure Caylen and I will get along just fine,” she says, reaching for Caylen, who goes to her pretty easily I hate to say.

  “See,” she retorts to Chris, and her eyes dart to mine as if she knew about the secret bet I placed on Caylen not going to her.

  “So, Lauren, you’re from Chicago?” she asks, finally acknowledging my presence in the room.

  “Yeah.” I decide not to correct that I’m really from Michigan.

  “She grew up in Saginaw,” Chris adds, and she doesn’t look pleased that he added the information.

  “It’s such a small world, isn’t it?” Mrs. Scott adds.

  “It must have been inconvenient to drop everything and come here, I imagine, and you’re staying for three weeks?” she asks as Caylen starts to wiggle in her arms. She’s going for the cookies.

  “No, not really. I’m a free-lance editor so I can work from pretty much anywhere?” I answer as I see Caylen successfully grabbing a cookie.

  “She’s an artist too,” Chris adds, and the glare she gives him makes him look down.

  “I’m sure she can speak for herself, Christopher,” she says tightly. I make my way to the table and take a seat since it seems like I’m being interviewed. She’s the one who’s going to be around my daughter.

  “What type of work do you do?” she asks as Caylen starts to suck on her cookie.

  “I haven’t done any in a while,” I say shortly. “What is that you do?” I ask and see Chris starting to run his hands nervously through his hair.

  “I’m in law school. My last semester,” she says proudly. That explains it.

  “Congratulations,” I say, trying my best to seem friendly.

  “Jenna comes from a family of lawyers,” Chris interrupts, and I smile pretending to be interested and wonder how long it’s going to take before Caylen’s cookie crumbs and chocolate are going to be all over that beautiful sweater Jenna’s wearing. The evil part of me wants to see how she reacts, but seeing how nervous Chris is, I decide to give him a break.

  “You want me to take her?” I offer.

  “She’s fine,” Jenna says adamantly.

  Okay.

  “One of my mother’s firms is based in Chicago. Klaron and Franklin?” she asks as if I’ve heard of it.

  “I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need one,” I reply, and she opens her mouth to say something else, but Chris takes her hand and squeezes it. And I feel like my heart sink. Don’t look affected. Don’t look affected. It helps that Jenna seems more irritated by the gesture than pleased about it. Then she glances down at her cashmere sweater that now has a big chocolate stain accompanied by drool and she looks absolutely disgusted.

  “Oh, Caylen. Look what you did,” I say in a faux-scolding tone.

  “Oh, I have a towel.” Mrs. Scott comes over with a wet cloth.

  “It’s just chocolate,” Chris says, and she cuts her eyes at him. I reach for Caylen, and this time she doesn’t hesitate to hand her to me.

  “Here, let me help,” Mrs. Scott says.

  “No, no. It’ll just smudge. It’s dry clean only,” she snaps. “She probably shouldn’t have been eating that anyway. Isn’t that be bad for her teeth?” she asks with derision.

  “I think Lauren made an exception since I made them.” Mrs. Scott smiles at me.

  “Her first batch of Grandma’s homemade cookies is a special occasion,” I say simply and return Mrs. Scott’s smile. Is she really giving me nutritional advice about my daughter?

  “I’ll give you one of my shirts to wear for dinner,” Chris says.

  “Actually, I’m not staying,” she replies, and I thank God. Chris looks surprised; I, on the other hand. am thrilled.

  “We had my dad’s fundraising dinner,” she says quietly.

  “Oh, I forgot about that,” Chris says guiltily. She sighs. “Of course you did.”

  “Lauren, do you mind if we talk outside for a bit?” she asks and both Chris and Mrs. Scott look as shocked as I feel.

  “Sure,” I say.

  “I’ll take her,” Mrs. Scott offers, and I hand Caylen over to her. Chris eyes Jenna, and she smirks.

  “We won’t be long,” she says before giving him a quick peck on the lips. She turns towards me.

  “Ready?” she asks, and I restrain the disgusted sigh that is begging to be released. I don’t know Jenna, but from what I gather about her from the brief time I’ve been around her, is that she likes to be in control. I think about Chris and wonder if he’s easy to control. He and Cal are almost exact opposites. Since Cal was completely uncontrollable Chris must be completely controllable and what she does to Chris would never fucking fly with Cal.

  “I’m just going to get to the point,” she says, looking me directly in the eye. I can tell already this is going to be a fun conversation.

  “Chris is a simple man. That’s one of the things I love about him. He wants to do what’s best for everyone. If he’s doing that, he’s happy and that makes me happy,” she says wryly. Then she walks closer to me.

  ”Things can be easy between us or they can be hard. Chris wants things to be easy, so I’d like things to be easy too,” she says, and I can hear the authority in her voice, which is laughable because Chris is a grown man, and she definitely doesn’t have any authority over me.

  “Well, whether they’re easy for you or not isn’t my concern, Jenna. I’m here for
Caylen. That’s my main priority,” I say bluntly, and her eyes widen. I don’t think she’s used to someone being as blunt with her as she is with everyone else.

  “It’s funny that you say that because I have a sneaking suspicion that isn’t the only reason you’re here,” she says, sliding down from her perch on the railing.

  “I think you want my fiancé,” she says bluntly, and I let out a laugh. The grown up thing is to tell Jenna that this conversations over, but I’m not feeling very mature today.

  “You mean my husband,” I reply back and the grin disappears.

  “Look. I don’t know what your relationship with ‘Cal’ was like. I don’t really care. I’m going to be Chris’s wife very soon, and I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t try to use your daughter as a pawn,” she says. My cheeks warm and I bite my lip. She has to be baiting me, wanting me to flip out and be the crazy woman like last time. Then she can show Chris that I’m an overemotional lunatic. I’m not going to do that, though.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Lauren. Chris is too nice to say this to you, but we were in love before we knew you existed. It’s not fair, but I’m here to stay. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better it will be for everyone. Including Caylen.”

  “Well, until you are his wife, I think the parenting conversations will stay between Chris and me. Thank you, though,” I say, wearing my practiced smile like a champ. At that moment, Mr. Scott walks up. He looks between us, the tension obviously thick.

  “Ladies,” he says, giving me a nod. I can’t help but notice that Jenna gets an actual smile.

  “Mr. Scott, will you send Chris out? Lauren, I think we’re done.” She says the last part dismissively.

  “I’ll do that,” he says. I follow Mr. Scott into the house, glancing behind me at her before closing the door.

  “Is everything okay?” He sort of grunts, glancing up at me momentarily as he looks at his mail.

  “Peachy,” I say tightly.

  He smirks at me before heading off to pass on Jenna’s message and leaves me standing in the living room. He’s such a prick. I quickly head into the bathroom, avoiding Mrs. Scott and Chris, who I hear in the kitchen still talking. I try to stop myself from pacing the small space but I’m trying to bring my anger down ten notches. I cannot believe that Chris could care about somebody like that. She’s such an arrogant bitch! Then she had the audacity to speak to me like that after not having said a word to me when I walked in the room. And then she gloats about being Chris’s fiancée before we’re even divorced. To think that I’d have to deal with a woman like that for the rest of my life makes me want to scream. Even if Chris doesn’t want to be with me, he can find someone with a better attitude than her. I sit on the edge of the tub and adjust my ponytail. I chuckle at myself. Who the hell am I to tell Chris he can’t have feelings for a bitch? Cal could be a complete asshole most of the time.

  I guess Chris and I have more in common than I thought.

  Chris

  When I walk out on the porch to meet Jenna, she immediately pulls me towards her and kisses me on the lips. It’s strange because she’s understandably been standoffish since Lauren arrived on my doorstep. I didn’t get a chance to see Lauren on my way out. I’m guessing the conversation went well for Jenna to be in such a good mood.

  “So what was that about?” I ask, holding her waist as she smiles up at me.

  “The kiss?” she purrs.

  “Your private talk with Lauren.” I chuckle.

  “I just thought we needed to clear up some things. Have a better understanding of one another,” she says sweetly, and I can feel my eyebrow arch. I know Jenna and even from the way she acted towards Lauren in the kitchen, I can only imagine what happened outside, especially with her being in such a good mood.

  “What’d you say?” I ask her hesitantly.

  “Nothing much. Just making sure she’s aware of the context of our relationship and where she fits.” She shrugs innocently. Oh no.

  “Jenna,” I say, letting her go and she frowns.

  “What did you say?” I ask her again, and she rolls her eyes.

  “What’s more important is what she said,” she retorts, and I cover my face and sigh.

  “I just want you guys to get along,” I say in frustration because I know whatever was said hasn’t made them any closer.

  “Look, we’re both adults. We’re never going to be friends what’s important is she knows her place,” she says.

  “Let me guess. You put her in her place?” I groan.

  “I had to. You don’t like to do the hard stuff, Chris, which is fine. We balance each other out. That’s what makes us work,” she says innocently.

  “Jenna, I told you I’d handle this!” I say angrily.

  “There is still a lot more for you to handle, Chris, but we both know how you are, and I wanted it known as soon as possible where this is going to end,” she says stubbornly.

  “That’s the thing, this doesn’t end! She’s in our lives permanently. It’d be a lot easier to deal with her amicably than have her upset and pissed off. Things don’t have to be like that,” I say.

  “I can’t believe you’re mad at me for doing what you should have from the beginning!” she scoffs. “You need to get the notion of us all being best friends and having dinners and outings together, out of your head. That’s never going to happen. Do you remember how we met and why she’s here?” she spits at me.

  “I’m not asking you to be her friend. What I am asking you to do is to be cordial, polite, to not treat her like, like…” I stumble to find the right word.

  “Like she’s the bane of my existence.” She chuckles.

  “Yeah, that’d be nice,” I say sarcastically.

  “But she is,” she says bluntly, and I let out a sigh.

  “She’s only going to be here for three weeks tops, Jenna. I really hope that you can start to try to not see her that way. When we’re married, there are most likely going to be times where you will have to speak with her or be around her while I’m not there…”

  “You mean in town?” she asks, interrupting me.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You said she’ll only be here three weeks tops. You mean in town?” she asks suspiciously, and I look away from her knowing that this is about to take the conversation in the opposite direction than I wanted it to go in.

  “She’s staying here?” Jenna spits my words back at me. I shouldn’t have said anything, but I didn’t know if Lauren had mentioned it. I’m trying to not add liar to my resume along with mentally unstable fiancé, but reactions like this, even if understandable, make me want to lie.

  “You thought I’d be okay with this?” she asks me angrily.

  “She’s going to be on an entirely different floor of the house. It doesn’t make sense for them to stay in a hotel and pay all that money and go back and forth,” I say, mimicking my mom’s argument. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not buying into it at all.

  “Why the hell does she need to stay with you, Chris?” she fires back angrily.

  “She’s not just staying with just me. My parents are here!” This is not working at all.

  “Caylen is your daughter too! She doesn’t need to be here? Don’t tell me she doesn’t trust you with her,” she states in disbelief.

  “She’s only one, Jenna. Maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her with people she’s just met,” I say a little irritated.

  “You are NOT a stranger to her,” she says angrily.

  “You can’t be that oblivious. She’s in love with you, Christopher!” she says, jabbing her finger into my chest.

  “It’s not me, Jenna! Cal’s, not who I am,” I say angrily. If I need anyone to get this, it’s her. If she doesn’t get it how can I expect anyone else to?

  “Who do you think she sees when she looks at you?!” she says sharply.

  “Exactly! She’s going to get to know me while she’s here and see that I’m n
ot him,” I shout back at her, and she looks surprised. “Jenna I don’t want to argue about this every time I see you,” I plead, grabbing her hands, and she takes them away and puts them on her hips.

  “There aren’t going to be anymore arguments,” she says calmly, and I’m a little caught off guard by her mood change. “I’m going to have my mom’s firm draw up papers for your divorce,” she says simply. My eyes widen.

  “No, you’re not going to do that. I don’t want your parents to know about this!”

  “Christopher, they already know. Apparently almost everyone in this town knows that you have a daughter now. I had to explain before they found out and came to a much worse conclusion,” she shrugs, and I scratch my head. What could get any worse than this?

  “What did they say?” I ask reluctantly. She smirks.

  “What do you think they said?” she says, letting out a sigh. That’s fantastic.

  “Have you stopped to think about how this makes me look, Chris?” she asks, and I look down, guilty.

  I haven’t.

  I’ve been so busy trying to figure all of this out I didn’t think about what people may think of her.

  “Look I don’t care what people think about me, especially here. I’d just like you to be considerate of me, the other woman involved in this,” she says, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I tug her towards me, and she lets me hug her. I stroke her hair.

  “I want this mess to be over with. I want us to start our life together and her waving your marriage in front of me makes this all a thousand times worse. I feel completely ridiculous wearing my ring while she has your last name,” she whimpers.

  “Everything’s going to work out. I promise. Okay?” I step back and tilt her chin up to mine and she smiles at me. I hug her tightly. The past few conversations we’ve had end with her crying in my arms. I tell myself again everything’s going to work out but each time it feels like a lie. At the end of three weeks, someone’s going to be hurt.

  How do you hurt someone in the best way possible?

  HHH

  After our fight, Jenna made me feel so bad about Lauren staying I agreed to go to her dad’s partner fundraising dinner I forgot about. Not one I’m looking forward to, but I’m hoping I can blend in with the back ground or bump into someone who might talk about last night’s game.