Almost Broken: If I Break #2

by Moore, Portia

  “Where are you going?” he asks surprised.

  “I need a real drink,” I say before leaving him standing in my room.

  HHH

  “What are you having?” the bartender asks me as I settle onto the plush leather bar seat At first I was going to ask for a glass of wine but that’s what the old Lauren would have ordered. I need to be a new Lauren. The Lauren who’s bold and gets what she wants.

  “Reyka on the rocks,” I say with a smile. There aren’t many people at the bar and she sets me right up without any wait. I grab a straw and take a sip, God this is disgusting. But drinking vodka on the rock looks a lot better than doing shots like I’m still in my early twenties. I’m halfway through my glass and I’m already starting to feel better. The music that was putting me to sleep initially doesn’t sound all that bad and I start to feel light, warm and tingly. I end up ditching the straw and down the rest and alert the bartender I want another.

  “Lauren Brooks,” I hear a somewhat familiar voice say. I look up and see a tall blonde man in an expensive looking blue suit. I don’t recognize him but he looks like he’s someone important, maybe head of hotel security. Oh gosh what did I do now?

  “I’m sorry. Have we met before?” I ask hesitantly. He’s pretty cute and when he smiles at me I feel myself start to blush.

  “Oh don’t break my heart. Was I that forgettable?” he asks flirtatiously taking the seat next to mine. Who is this guy?

  “Bar tender, rum and coke for me and a Long Island for the lady,” he says turning his body towards me. I survey his face closely and it hits me.

  “Jason Daniels!” I say the realization dawning on me.

  “Wow you look great,” I say nudging him. He always was attractive but he’s definitely grown into his looks.

  “Thank you. You’re still as stunning as the day I first met you,” he says before taking a sip of his drink.

  “You remembered my drink,” I say surprised before I take a sip.

  “Of course I did,” he says with a laugh.

  “How are you? What are you doing in Detroit?” I ask. He tells me how he’s in a more prominent position and in town for a story. How he’s now an investigative reporter, a long ways from his entertainment fluff section. He talks about the cases he’s worked on and the places he’s traveled. I remember Jason always did like to talk about himself, and I’m not sure if it’s just the vodka or the Long Island ice tea but he seems a hell of a lot more interesting than he was.

  “What about you. Are you still in Chicago?” he asks and I nod.

  “Isn’t that a coincidence, so am I,” he says leaning into my space.

  “I’d love to take you out sometime when were’ back in town,” he says and I giggle. Yup I just giggled.

  “Uhm. That wouldn’t be such a good idea,” I sigh and he gives me a playful frown.

  “Oh why not. Are you married now?” he asks. I run my hand through my hair. I am but not exactly.

  “Engaged?” he says as if he’s trying to help me along.

  “Separated,” I say. Separated sounds perfect and surprisingly accurate.

  “Then that means it would be okay for me to take you to dinner as a friend,” he says as a smile spreads across his face. It’s been such a long time since a man has been so forwardly interested in me. After being alone for two years and then the one man I’m attracted to looks at me as if I’m his sister in law most of the time, it feels good to feel attractive. Then I smile too.

  “My life is very complicated… things are really complicated,” I confess.

  “With your separtee?” he jokes and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Lauren, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. You’re sweet and funny and intelligent. A man would have to be out of his mind to need space from you or for him to make you feel like you need it.” It’s funny he’d use those words, and I’m surprised when butterflies take flight in my stomach. Jason’s attractive but I never had this reaction with anyone other than Cal…well, Chris. Maybe it’s the liquor.

  “It’s time to go Lauren,” a firm hand grips my arm and lifts me from my seat. I look back and see Chris helping me up,” and to my surprise he looks…pissed maybe even jealous. I see Jason let out a sigh as looks from me to Chris.

  “Cal Scott,” Jason says flatly. My eyebrow lifts, God if he says he’s not Cal. I get my balance and stand beside Chris whose deadpan stare looks a little familiar as he frowns at Jason.

  “I’d love for you to make a comment on the recent acquisition Crestfield Corp just completed of Maratech,” Jason says.

  “Get in line,” he says coldly as he ushers me out of the room. I look back at Jason who gives me a flirtatious smile.

  “You don’t think that was a little rude?” I ask covering the hiccup from my mouth as we make our way to the elevator.

  “You shouldn’t drink like that by yourself in a strange hotel. What if that guy had slipped you something?” he says accusingly.

  “The bartender made the drink right in front of me he didn’t just walk over and hand it to me. And, I know him,” I say defensively. The ride up to the elevator is short and not so sweet. Thankfully for Chris our rooms are only on the fifth floor. He waits for me to exit first and I do quickly at first until I feel a little off balance and have to slow down. I pull out my room key and look back at Chris who is shaking his head disapprovingly.

  “Other side,” he says pointing to the door to the left of where I am now. I knew that. I hear Chris sigh behind me, he closes the door once we’re inside and sits in a lounging chair across from the TV. I roll my eyes, why is he in here? Why won’t he just leave me alone, I don’t want to be his fucking friend.

  If anyone should be sighing it should be me. I slam my butt on the bed so he can see how mad I am. I can’t believe his audacity. He didn’t come down there to rescue me from the boogey man he was jealous that I had an attractive man actually interested in me. He doesn’t have the right to be jealous. If I can’t show the fact that I’m jealous, that it kills me inside whenever Jenna’s near him, that when I hear him talk to her that my insides feel like they’re crumbling, then he doesn’t get to be jealous. How dare he not get it, I don’t want any other man. I only want him, and God damnit this stupid alcohol is making me cry.

  Chris

  Lauren is definitely a sight to see when she’s drinking. She acts like a bratty ten year old. She rolls her eyes, she stomps and pouts. I had to frown to keep from letting her see me laugh. Well the frown when I walked in to the restaurant and saw that guy about to practically pounce on her was real. It took everything in me to not knock him right out of his seat. She didn’t put up a fight, when I moved to take her out of there, which was good. I didn’t want to cause a scene but she was coming with me whether she liked it or not. She was funny after the drinks she had, it was cute. Until she started crying and now she’s been in the bathroom for the past ten minutes. Seeing her cry makes me feel like the lowest thing on the earth, because I know it has something to do with me, or him, but this time I think it was me. I let out a deep breath and finally knock on the door.

  “Lauren,” I say quietly. She doesn’t say anything. So I knock again.

  “Just leave me alone, Chris.”

  “Can you please come out?” I ask her.

  “You don’t want me to come out. Trust me. I’m an emotional mess, and you are not prepared to deal with this version of me.”

  “Whatever version of you is in there I’d love to come out,” I feel a smile spread across my face. I think of the way she smiles, how she bites her lip, how she steals glances at me when she thinks I don’t see her. The way she takes care of Caylen, how even when she’s mad and pouting she has the most angelic eyes and kissable lips, lips I’ve never took the chance to kiss.

  “You’re going to make me sing to you out here if you don’t come out,” I threaten her. I think back to the way she looked at me when I played after Caylen went to sleep, how she looked at me a
s if she saw me for the first time. Not Cal, and how she looked at me the same way my mom looks at my dad.

  I didn’t want to admit it then but Jenna’s never looked at me like that.

  “That’s not a good threat. You’re an amazing singer Chris,” I hear a little laugh.

  ““You’re extremely generous when you’ve been drinking,” I say laughing as I sit down on the floor next to the door.

  “Trust me I won’t sound as good without the guitar,” I tell her. I can tell she’s not crying anymore and that was my ultimate goal.

  “Can you come out please?” I ask her again, she’s quiet. I hope she’s contemplating.

  “I’ll tell you a secret if you come out,” I promise her.

  “A good one or a boring one,” she asks and I laugh.

  “Well if it’s boring I’ll go in the bathroom the rest of the night,” I tell her. I hear water running and few seconds later she opens the door and comes out. After a little contemplation she sits down on the floor beside me.

  “Okay. What’s your secret,” she says her voice sounding light and airy. I sigh and look over at her, those eyes of hers full of curiosity she’s so close it’s like she can see into my soul. That line between us I feel like I’m ready to erase it but I still feel reluctant. I know once it’s gone, there will be no going back.

  “I’ve remembered things,” I tell and her eyes widen. My heart skips a beat.

  “You’ve had more memories?” she asks excitedly and I feel terrible that I’m just now going to share them with her.

  I nod.

  “What have you remembered?” she asks. I let out a deep breath.

  “I remember the first time Cal told you he loved you,” I say and I hear her breath catch in her throat.

  “I remember when you were moving and you said you didn’t see him as the villain,” I continue swallowing the lump in my throat, and I see her eyes fill with tears.

  “I remember him telling Dexter that he needed you,” I say and I take a deep breath.

  “I-I remember how much he loves you,” I say finally and I look over at her she lets out a breath like it’s been held in for years. She lets her head fall back against the wall and the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen spreads across her face, while an array of emotions pass through her face, hope, joy, and relief.

  “And, I’ve completed my homework assignment. The three things I like about Cal are: he met you, he made Caylen and he brought you both into my life,” I say feeling my heart starting to beat faster. I hear her breathing start to quicken. She stands up. She begins to pace the room. And she shakes her head.

  “You can’t say things like that to me Chris and think that I can do this with you,” she says as if it’s painful. I look at her confused. I stand up and walk over to her the inches between us closing in as our chests touch.

  “Do what?” I ask and she looks in my eyes as if she’s trying to read my thoughts.

  “Pretend I can be your friend. That I’m not in love with you,” she breaths outs her desperately.

  “Do you love me Lauren?

  “What do you mean?” she asks quietly.

  “I need to know that you love me,” I ask her honestly. She looks at me intently, the time passes between us seems like an eternity.

  “You’re right here. I’m in love with you, Chris,” she says standing on her tiptoes and bringing her lips to mine. She kisses me softly but with such pent up passion it takes my breath away. I pick her up and pull her as close to me as possible. Before I know it we’re on the bed I’m lying over her and she looks so beautiful.

  “I want you, Chris,” she says pleading before pulling me down on to her.

  Lauren

  Two years since I felt a man’s touch, that I’ve missed his touch. I imagined it so many nights but nothing compared to the reality of the feel of him. His caress releases the hopeless longing and constrained emotion to pour off me in waves of ecstasy. Each kiss and touch different but so familiar. His fingers intertwine with mine before raising my hands over my head. He looks at me as if I’m his everything, taking in every inch of me. He slowly raises my shirt over my stomach his fingers against my skin makes me feel alive. I can’t breathe. I’m scared to breath. If I move to fast I might wake up from this dream, because if it is a dream, I want to stay in it forever. He lifts me up to him as he pulls my shirt over my head and I do the same with his.

  I take time to get a close up of his body, a body that I’ve known in so many ways. I trace my hands over his chest to his stomach and when my eyes reach his lips I kiss him again and again, first patiently then frantically. He tastes so good, I’ve forgotten how soft his lips are, how good his hands feel on my body. This body belongs to him. How could I have forgotten something I’ve dreamed about so often.

  He grips my waist tightly pulling me on top of him. His hands go to my jeans unzipping them. When they slip inside to knead the swell of my butt, I release a soft moan. Everything’s happening so fast but so slow. I lie back on the bed as he removes my remaining clothes. I thank God I have on good underwear. It’s nothing fancy but they’re brand new. He stops for a moment and looks down at my body, now nothing covering it except a cotton white thong. His eyes devour me. When he gets off the bed my breath catches. If he stops now I’ll die. Everything will shut down, but he’s not stopping he removes his own pants and underwear and I feel every muscle in me contract as I look at him. He’s perfect his thighs thick and muscular and the one thing that I missed that I know like the back of my hand is standing at attention. He lies down on top of me kissing every part of me it’s its sweet torture. His lips kiss my collar bone my neck and trail down my stomach as is fingers slip beneath the material simple white thong and he removes it. He takes in my body with his eyes again, I’ve never been so turned on from someone just looking at me the way he is. He lifts my right leg and begins kissing down it making his way up my thigh. I’m going to die if he’s not in me soon.

  My breathing is short and I can’t control it. I’m so turned on that as soon as his lips touch me there I feel myself beginning to come undone. I pull his hair between my fingers grabbing it as his tongue slides into me, I cry out. His free hand moves to my breast and it hasn’t been long before I feel myself shattering under his assault. I pull myself away and he looks up at me a smile on his face but confused.

  “I need you inside of me,” It takes every ounce of energy for me to barely whisper that, and just like that he is and I feel like the part of me that’s been gone is back. I feel complete.

  HHH

  Last night was everything.

  It was the beginning and an end. I felt as if I gave a piece of me away but was given so much in return.

  Chris, I can’t even describe him. I thought he’d be a little timid and nervous but it was like he already had a road map of my body he just took a different route. It was amazing like we were connected. And everything I needed after two years of loneliness, emptiness and despair was returned to me. I stretch out in bed and realize Chris isn’t in the bed. I wonder if he went out and to get breakfast. I go and peep into his side of the room he’s not there either. I grab my phone and see that I have two missed calls. They’re both from Lisa. I think of the message she left for Chris yesterday. I call it and she picks up on the second ring.

  “Hey, Lauren. Is Chris with you?” she asks nervously.

  “No, I think he went to run an errand or something. Is everything okay?” I ask her concerned by the tone of her voice.

  “It is but I really need to talk to him. Can you let him know it’s really important to call me back,” she says pleadingly.

  “Okay. As soon as he comes back I’ll make sure he calls you,” I promise her.

  “How are you doing?” she asks lightly and I can’t help but feel a smile spread across my face.

  “I’m fantastic,” I laugh seeing myself blush in the mirror.

  “You sound fantastic,” she chuckles.

  “I’ve got to go my
breaks almost over but don’t forget Lauren, please.”

  “I won’t,” I say hanging up the phone. It’s 11 am. I’ve slept straight through breakfast. I call up room service and order two breakfast plates and turn on the television. I feel absolutely refreshed. I lie back down and call Mrs. Scott to check on Caylen, she confirms she’s doing fine. I admit I feel giddy, knowing our family is going to be complete again. Chris has finally come around.

  Everything is as it should be.

  Room services arrives twenty minutes later. I wait a few minutes for Chris but I’m starving and I start to eat without him. I finish breakfast and he’s still not here. I grab my phone and shoot him a text asking where he is with a smiley face and decide to hop in the shower, I wish he was here to get in with me. After I finish I check my phone and see that he still hasn’t responded. I call him and it goes straight to voice mail. At this point I’m a little annoyed after what just happened why he would decide to run errands or whatever he’s doing instead of being here.

  3:00. I’ve called him four times and his phone keeps going straight to voicemail. I’ve called the concierge to see if he left a message for me.

  None.

  I go down to the lobby and even check the fitness center. He’s nowhere to be found. I start to look around the room tearing it apart to see if he left a note that I might have misplaced telling me where he’s gone.

  4:30. I’m freaking out. I want to call the Scotts but I don’t want to worry them if this is nothing. There’s a reasonable explanation for this there has to be. A chill shoots through me and I scold myself for thinking he went back to Jenna. By six I’m in panic mode. I can’t even sit still, my heart about to beat out of my chest.

  “I’m out of my mind worried. I’m three minutes away from calling the police and lying about how long he’s been gone when I get a text alert on my phone, it’s his notification. I almost trip over the bed to get it. I pick it up and see it’s only one word.