Denial

by R. M. Walker

  “Lily, who is Drew?” Nate repeated.

  She carried on towards where he was waiting for her. He wasn’t even out of breath, but her lungs were close to exploding, along with her thumping heart.

  “He took me home yesterday,” she called out breathlessly and wiped at the sweat on her forehead. “I used to think I was fairly fit. This is killing me!”

  “You are fit,” Josh said, from behind her. “You’re not used to hill walking, that’s all. We’re nearly there.”

  “Thank goodness,” she huffed, hearing him snigger behind her.

  She carried on slowly, and after what seemed like forever, she finally reached the crest of the cliff, sank to her knees, and gazed over the sea far below.

  “Why did you get into his car?” Nate crouched beside her. “Have you any idea how stupid that was?”

  “What?” She looked at him in surprise.

  “You got into a total stranger's car and let him drive you off. We followed you all the way home. I didn’t say anything yesterday, but honestly, you should know better.”

  “He’s not a total stranger. He’s my neighbour. I recognised him. But I wasn’t aware you told me what to do,” she said, lifting an eyebrow at him.

  The twins had a look of apprehension on their faces. Were they so used to doing what Nate told them to that it was surprising when someone didn’t toe the line?

  “Didn’t you get it when we told you his interest in you wasn’t healthy?” Nate asked.

  She got to her feet and wiped her hands down her shorts, not making eye contact with him.

  “That’s not what I meant,” she said clearly. “I’m my own person, Nate. I do what I want, not what you tell me to do. It may not have been the best decision I’ve ever made, but he was my best option at the time.”

  “No, your best option would have been to come back to us,” Nate said, moving towards her.

  She met his eyes, refusing to back down. Without his glasses, his eyes were more intense, a sharper blue. A muscle worked at the side of his jaw, his expression firm; he was not happy with her.

  “I think we should leave this,” Matt said softly. “She’s okay. He didn’t hurt her.”

  “No, he didn’t,” she said. “But he was one step away from calling the police on you.”

  “What?” Josh exploded, stepping forward. “What did you tell him?”

  “Nothing.” She held Nate’s gaze. “He saw I was upset, and thought someone was chasing me. I told him I’d been arguing with someone. He took me home because I didn’t have my coat or bag. He didn’t hit on me. He didn’t offer to buy me coffee in exchange for sex. He drove me home and told me what he was doing here.” She didn’t mention what else they’d talked about, knowing it would add fuel to the fire she could see Nate was working up.

  “He’s dangerous.” Nate’s tone was firm.

  “How do you know that?” Lily exclaimed. “How on earth do you work that out?” If he was dangerous, getting into his car was the perfect time for him to hurt her, but he’d been nothing but kind.

  “He should have given you money to catch a cab, not got you into his car,” Nate bit out.

  “He was going home anyway! He lives opposite me. That would have been a waste of money,” she snapped. “I have no idea what you have against him.”

  “I don’t like the way he hit on you the other day!”

  Lily rolled her eyes and looked to the others for some sort of reasonableness. They weren’t there; they were walking along the path away from them. She huffed out her breath.

  “Lilith.” His full use of her name brought her attention back to him. He stepped closer. His hands went to her shoulders as he tilted his head.

  She studied his eyes and saw nothing but concern. He was looking out for her, worried about her safety. It took her anger and blew it away on the breeze.

  “He didn’t hurt me. I promise,” she said.

  “He shouldn’t have had to. I never meant to scare you. None of us did.”

  “I know.” She slid her hands onto his waist, her fingers on the belt loops of his jeans. His head went back slightly, and she wondered if she’d overstepped the boundaries of friendship. His eyes dropped to her lips, and for a split second, she thought he was going to kiss her. For a split second, her heart soared in her chest.

  He didn’t. He pulled her close, tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her tightly in his arms. She pushed away the disappointment that rippled through her.

  “Be careful with him,” he said. “Just because he’s your neighbour doesn’t make him safe.”

  “I probably won’t see him much, if at all.” Lily enjoyed the feel of his arms around her, his scent enveloping her. He blew hot and cold, but he wasn’t reserved now. Now, he was holding her as if she really mattered to him.

  “Yo!”

  Nate stepped away from her, and she saw Matt and the others jogging along the path.

  “You know the expression ‘speak of the devil’?” Josh came to a stop beside them. “Well, we’re the living example. Heading this way.”

  “What?” She didn’t know what he meant, but Nate seemed to click, and he swore under his breath.

  “What’s the matter?” she asked him.

  “Well, hello. What a small world,” came a cheerful voice. “Lovely day, isn’t it?”

  Lily saw Drew coming towards them from the direction of Porthaven. He wore waterproof clothes and hiking boots. He held a spiked walking stick, and a backpack.

  “Too fucking small,” Jake muttered under his breath.

  As Drew got closer she smiled at him. She was aware of the hostility that rippled from the four boys, and it embarrassed her slightly. But if he picked up on it, he didn’t let it show as he smiled at them. He looked down at her legs, and Matt moved to block his view of her.

  “Boys, I know you’re locals and think you’re invincible, but Lily isn’t. If you’re going to bring her up on these paths again, make sure she has appropriate clothes and footwear. Shorts and tennis shoes are not safe. If you’re her friends, you need to stop putting her in danger,” he said sternly then walked away whistling.

  “Fucking asshole!” Jake spat on the floor.

  “He’s got a point about the clothes and shoes,” Matt admitted. “You can slip easily in tennis shoes on these paths.”

  “But what the fuck was that? Stop putting her in danger? As if we keep doing it.” Jake glared at where Drew had disappeared around a rocky outcrop further down the cliff path.

  “No one has put me in danger. I make my own decisions. Can we forget him and go now, please?” It seemed that every time she started to enjoy herself today something happened to sour it.

  “You forget him as well, Lily,” Josh grumbled. “Completely forget him, don’t think about him at all. Ever.” He stomped off, and Jake ran to catch up with him.

  She didn’t get the level of animosity Drew pulled from them. He’d been nothing but kind to her, but they acted as if he was trying to make her into his own personal whore. She didn’t understand it but had no desire to get into it again. She just hoped the rest of the day wouldn’t be so confrontational.

  Porthaven

  Porthaven was a quaint fishing village. Built in a time when cars weren’t even a dream, the streets were narrow, steep, and cobbled. A car park had been built higher above the village for the locals and any tourists it attracted during the summer months. The village was built around a high walled harbour that was filled with a mix of small yachts and fishing boats. The smell of fish was strong in the air. Nets lay spread out over the edge of the harbour wall. A dog barked, and seagulls wheeled and cried above their heads. Two shops faced the harbour wall: the fabled fish and chip shop they’d told her about and a small village shop.

  Sandwiched between the small, squat cottages that faced the sea was a pub. A board hanging from above the front door announced in peeling gold paint that it was called The Blue Pig, but tim
e and the elements had worn the picture beneath it to a dark, unrecognisable mass.

  “We’ll get the chips and eat them on the harbour wall,” Nate said as they walked towards the shop.

  Lily stopped by a large mooring bollard and leant against it, taking in all the different boats bobbing about on the ebb and flow of the harbour waters. She’d seen a lot of pictures and paintings of fishing villages like this, but she’d never been to one herself. Her mother would love it; she’d tell her about it when she got home, knowing she would most probably want to paint it. It was easy for Lily to see her mother setting her easel up on the end of the harbour and capturing the spirit of the fishing village perfectly in her paint. Her mother favoured seascapes more than landscapes, and it made her wonder why they’d never come to Cornwall before. It struck her then as a contradiction. Her mother favoured these sorts of places to paint, but she always chose towns and cities to live in. Maybe it was cheaper staying in towns, although her mother never gave any indication money was an issue. All Lily knew was that it was going to be hard staying in a town again after living in Trenance. The thought of leaving such a beautiful place for the high rises and concrete jungle made her heart sink; but she knew it was inevitable.

  A touch on her shoulder caught her attention, and she turned to see Matt behind her.

  “You look so sad. You okay?” he asked gently.

  “I’m fine. I was thinking how lovely it is here.” She straightened, and they headed towards the chip shop.

  “Yes, I guess it is,” he said, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t really think about it much. Used to it, I suppose.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” she said. “This place is special.”

  “A place is a place. It’s who you’re with that makes somewhere special.”

  “That’s true, to a point. One place we lived was on the fourteenth floor of a forty-floor high rise. The lifts were hit and miss, and the stairwells smelt of urine on a good day, worse on others.”

  “Damn. How long were you there?”

  “Six months. I wanted to learn to abseil. Mum decided it was easier to move.”

  “Abseil?”

  “I was terrified that we’d be stuck up there in a fire. I’d abseil us out if the place went up in flames, but she wasn’t so keen on the idea. That one wasn’t so bad though. We had a place in London where you didn’t leave the flat unless you had pepper spray and a whistle.”

  “Jesus, Lily, you lived like that?” he asked in horror, holding the door open for her.

  “Thanks. Yeah, we lived there for a year. I know how to look after myself.” She smiled at him.

  “What on earth did your mum find to paint in places like that?” he asked her.

  “She’d travel to wherever she painted,” she mused. “She loves to paint places like this, but this is the first time we’ve lived where she’s painting.” She stepped forwards to the lady behind the counter and put in an order for just chips.

  Lily’s mouth watered as she paid for and took the wrapped packet of delicious smelling chips. Josh was sitting on the bench under the window, and she crossed to sit with him.

  “Happy?” Josh asked her, resting his ankle on his knee and tapping his fingers against it.

  “I will be when I’m eating this,” she said, lifting the paper to sniff deeply.

  “We’re going to—oh, bugger,” he muttered. He got up and crossed to where the others were reading the personal ads and notices on a board on the wall.

  She frowned when she saw them look over at her.

  “Order’s up, boys!” the lady called out, and they crossed to pick up their freshly cooked fish and chips. Lily followed them from the shop and started towards the harbour wall, wondering what had worried Josh.

  “Lily.” Nate fell into step beside her and slung his arm around her shoulder. “How squeamish are you?”

  “What?” She looked up at him, aware of the others watching her.

  “Are you easily scared of bugs?”

  “Why?” she asked suspiciously.

  “You trust us, don’t you?” Josh asked as he put his chips on the bench they stopped beside.

  “That depends on what you have planned.”

  “When we dragged you through the woods, we should have got you to put some jeans on first,” Jake said apologetically.

  “If this is about what Drew was saying, don’t worry about it. I’m perfectly fine.”

  “No.” Josh shook his head.

  Nate turned her, and sat her down on the bench. She looked up at him in confusion.

  “Don’t scream,” he said and placed a finger on her thigh. She looked down, and her eyes went wide.

  “What the hell is that?” She pushed backwards, which was stupid, because whatever it was, it was attached to her. A bug shaped like a small spider with a bulbous body sat on her leg. She moved to flick it off, but Nate caught her wrist, stopping her.

  “It’s a tick. You aren’t flicking that off. It’s buried its head into you,” Nate explained.

  “It’s done what?” Horror stricken, she reached for him. “It’s sucking my blood? Get it off, Nate! Please!”

  “We will, Lily May, I promise. Thing is, we also need to make sure it’s the only one on you.”

  “There could be more?” She shuddered, checking over her legs and arms.

  “Josh, get some matches and pick up one of those nail care kits from the shop,” Nate said. “We’ll check her over for more.”

  “How? I’m not stripping off out here!” She wasn’t sure which was worse: being covered in ticks or getting naked in public. It was too close to call.

  “We’ll check your arms and legs. Chances are this is the only one.”

  “I am not stripping in front of you all. Can’t we go home and do this?”

  “You’d strip in front of us at your place? Not a problem.” Jake winked at her.

  “Jake!” she whined. “This isn’t funny.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be funny, just a pervert,” he said with an eyebrow wiggle.

  “You two were shirtless. I think we ought to check you, if that’s the case,” she said and stuck her tongue out at him.

  “Are you hitting on us?” he asked and gently pressed the end of her nose with his fingertip. “Because we can get naked with you whenever you—Ow! Fucking hell, Nate!” He rubbed the arm Nate had thumped.

  “No one is stripping anywhere!” Nate snapped.

  Josh came back over with a pink case in his hands and a box of matches.

  “Can you deal with this before I’m eaten alive? How do we get it off?” she asked uneasily, her eyes on the matchbox.

  “We burn it off.” Nate took the matches from Josh.

  “No, we do not! I don’t want to get burnt! Why can’t one of you perform your mojo?” she asked the twins. She saw Nate wince, but she ignored him.

  “We’ve never tried to get something like this to move.” Josh shrugged and looked at Jake. “We can try.”

  “No.” Nate shook his head. “Not until we know more about her magic.”

  “I have no magic!” she snapped. “And I do not want to get burnt!”

  “You won’t get burnt, the tick will,” Nate replied. “Trust me.”

  She studied his eyes, and only saw concern. He’d done nothing to harm her so far, and she had no reason not to trust him now. She nodded, and he winked at her.

  “I will not burn you, I promise. Ready, Josh?”

  Nate struck the match, blew it out then touched it to the back of the tick just before Josh tugged it free with the tweezers he’d taken from the case.

  “Got it!” he said triumphantly, inspecting it carefully before setting it on the floor.

  They were right; it hadn’t hurt. But her head still spun, and she swallowed down a rise of nausea.

  “I can’t see any more on the front of your legs,” Nate said. “Stand up, and I’ll check the b
ack of your legs.”

  Matt took her chips, and she stood up, examining her arms for any more monsters.

  “Nothing,” Nate said and cleared his throat. He straightened up, and taking her wrists, he checked the backs of her arms then turned her slowly. “You’re clear.”

  “Thank you.” Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Did you go through bracken?” Matt asked, still holding her chips.

  “We showed her the circle.”

  The memory of the flowers springing up around her flooded her mind, but she ruthlessly shoved it down.

  “You showed Lily the—What happened?” Nate demanded.

  “Nothing happened,” Lily said. “Except I picked up the bloodsucker from hell. Are we eating here? I’m starving.” She sat on the bench and took her chips from Matt. “Does the match kill them?”

  “It shocks them into letting go long enough to pull them out,” said Matt.

  “Lily May, what happened in—”

  “No, Nate, not now!” She cut him off; his tone warned her he wasn’t giving up.

  “When then?” he demanded. “Something happened in the circle, didn’t it?”

  “She only found out yesterday what we are,” Matt said. “Give her some time to process that.”

  “Okay, I’ll give her time,” Nate said calmly and opened his chips. He jumped up to sit on the back of the bench, his feet on the seat beside her. “So, Josh, Jake, what happened in the circle?”

  “Nate.” Matt sighed.

  “What? I’m not talking to Lily. I’m talking to the twins. I can talk to them, can’t I?”

  Jake looked at Josh apprehensively. She was angry with Nate for pushing it, but she was putting Josh and Jake in an awkward position and that made her feel guilty. The chip in her mouth turned to cardboard and stuck in her throat as she swallowed. She didn’t want to hear it, any of it, but she couldn’t put a wedge between them either.

  “Not here, Nate, okay?” Josh said.

  “Look, I don’t see why we can’t talk about it here,” Nate said and slid down to sit beside her properly. “We told you yesterday that we’d help you, be here for you. If you don't talk about it, how can we do that, Lily May?”