Denial

by R. M. Walker

  “What are you on about? Hiding? He wasn’t hiding anything,” Nate said.

  She turned in her seat to face them. “Come off it. The moment I asked about that symbol, he was vague and evasive.”

  “Were we in the same room? He gave a sermon on it.” Josh snorted, shaking his head at her.

  “He gave a history lesson on it, but he evaded when I wanted to know its connection to this Council of One Purpose thing.”

  “It’s an old symbol.” Matt shrugged. “He wasn’t hiding anything.”

  “Yes, he was! He’s never told you about the Council before!”

  “Because it’s not relevant anymore,” Nate pointed out. “You heard him. It was disbanded because it failed.”

  “I heard him say that it doesn't exist as it once did. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore.”

  “Semantics.” Nate waved a hand. “He said death knell. That would imply it no longer exists.”

  “You’re very suspicious of him,” Josh said, and she frowned at him. “We get that, Lil, especially after the first time you met him. But you don’t know him like we do. He wasn’t evading. He probably didn’t have any more to say. Or he thought he had answered it.”

  “You can trust him.” Matt touched her knee briefly before putting his hand back on the wheel.

  If she hadn’t seen the same symbol on Drew’s ring, then she wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe he’d found it on one of his research trips. She didn’t have any proof that he was magical in any way. But the doubt in her mind was too strong to brush it away as coincidence. Add in that neither of their stories matched up, and it was enough to give her a headache. She closed the phone and rested her head back against the headrest.

  “Lily, it’ll be all right,” Nate said. “He’ll figure out what’s blocking you. He’s never let us down.” He slid his hand onto her shoulder, his fingers resting on the bare skin by her ear. He stroked her neck gently, and she relaxed into his touch with a sigh.

  “Let’s just forget it all for now,” Matt said as he navigated his way into the cinema car park. “Let’s go and watch the film, enjoy ourselves, and deal with everything else later.”

  “Aye!” She heard Josh and Jake clearly.

  “Nate? Lily?” Matt switched off the engine and turned to face her. She turned her head to look at him, resting her chin on Nate’s fingers on her shoulder.

  “Aye,” Nate murmured.

  They were waiting for her to agree. They were right, they did know Jonas better than she did. However, it was possible to be so close to someone that things were missed that an outsider could see. But there was no use discussing it anymore. They were firm in their view of Jonas, her search on the internet had revealed nothing, and she wouldn’t see Drew until Monday. There was nothing she could do except let it go like they suggested.

  “Aye,” she whispered. Matt kissed her cheek quickly as Nate squeezed her shoulder.

  “Come on, or we’ll miss the start,” Josh said happily and pushed at Jake to open his door.

  “Lil, you can sit between us,” Jake called out as he got out.

  “No, she’s sitting by me,” Nate objected and quickly got out.

  “No, she’s fucking not!” Josh slammed the door shut.

  Matt caught her arm before she could get out. “Lily, don’t worry about it. If there was something important we needed to know, Jonas would have told us. He may not even know the answer. He doesn’t know everything, no matter what he likes us to think.”

  He had a point. Perhaps she had asked a question he had no answer to. But why not say that? He hadn’t been afraid to tell them he didn’t know what was supposed to be blocking her ability to see visions.

  Matt reached out and touched her chin gently. “Come on.”

  She got out and saw Josh and Jake facing Nate, hands stuffed into their jacket pockets, annoyance on their faces. Jake nudged Josh when he saw Matt and Lily coming towards them.

  “Change of plan,” Nate said as they approached them. “Let’s play a game of bowling and grab a pizza.”

  They were in a multiplex, and she could see a nightclub at one end, several places to eat, and a ten-pin bowling alley tucked in at the end.

  “They do pizza, chips, subs, and a few other things,” Matt said, looking at the twins. They were still scowling at Nate, but theirs faces cleared when they looked at her.

  “Don’t you want to see the film?” she asked the twins.

  “We can go another time.” Josh shook his head. “We’d rather talk to you than watch a film anyway.” He kissed her quickly, and then backed away.

  A tendril of warmth curled through her, and she grinned at them. Matt took her hand, and they weaved their way through the cars and into the bowling alley. Lily took off her coat as she looked around. Fruit machines and other arcade games stood to one side. Several snooker tables were dotted about as well. To her right was the bowling alley. All five lanes were full.

  “I’ll book us in,” Nate said and moved off to the big desk with Matt beside him. Behind the bowling lanes was a cafe seating area where they served food.

  “Are you sure about the film?” she asked.

  “Definitely.” Jake winked at her. “It’s going to be a while before we get a lane. Let’s grab a snooker table.” The twins reached out and snagged her hands in theirs. She let them lead her through the occupied tables until they found an empty one at the back.

  “Played before?” Josh asked her. He racked up the balls while Jake put some money into the slot and released the white ball.

  “No.” She watched as they went to the rack of cues. They came back with four longer ones and a shorter one.

  “Do you know how to hold the cue?” Jake held the short one out to her.

  She’d seen brief glimpses of snooker games on the TV before changing the channel to something more interesting. She had a rough idea of what to do and crossed to the table to show them.

  “Close. You’re right-handed, so you want to change hands.” Josh put his cue down and got her to switch hands. He leant beside her and adjusted her fingers so the cue would move smoothly between them.

  “Pretty much aim and hit,” he said and stood up. “Have a go.”

  “Any of them?”

  “You want to split them open. Pot a red first and then a colour,” Jake said and came up on her other side. “Go ahead and take a shot.”

  Josh set the white ball down. She bent low, took aim, and hit the white. It moved forwards three inches and stopped.

  “Bit more force, sweetheart. You won’t hurt it,” Jake said, amusement clear in his voice.

  “Keep your cue up so you don’t rip the baize.” Josh put the white ball back on its spot for her.

  She aimed again, took the shot, and watched in shock as the ball shot across the table with the cue right behind it as it flew from her hands. She heard a snort, and then they were clutching at each other in laughter.

  “Jesus, Lily, not quite that much force. And you’re not supposed to let go of your cue either. I’ve never seen anyone do that before.” Josh grinned at her.

  “Well, I kind of know that.” Lily winced then started to laugh. “I think I shocked myself.”

  “Try again.” Jake came over and set the balls up again.

  “A shot is a shot. She’s cheating.”

  Lily saw Connie coming towards them with a couple of girls that Lily vaguely recognised from college.

  “She’s not cheating, Connie,” Josh spoke lazily but his shoulders tensed.

  “Is that the new girl?”

  The girl who had spoken was pretty, with blonde hair styled in a sharp bob, tight skinny jeans, and a black bomber jacket that had a heart in sequins on the front.

  “Yeah. Lily. She’s the one I was telling you about. Had some lame-ass fit in the canteen. Flopped about like a jellyfish. She got Nate to carry her out, still with chips in h
er hair.” Connie laughed huskily, as if she smoked heavily.

  “She didn’t flop about like a jellyfish, Connie,” Josh snapped. “Don’t be such a bitch.”

  “How would you know? You weren’t there,” she pointed out and finally looked at Lily. “Besides, I’m just saying what happened. Isn’t that right, Lily?”

  Lily kept quiet, her fingers tight around the cue. It wasn’t the first time she’d been made fun of. She didn’t think it was her seizures provoking it though, but her friendship with Matt.

  “Nate carried her out because he wanted to. Get your facts straight,” Jake said.

  “Whatever.” She gave a half-hearted shrug. “Where’s Matthew?”

  “There’s a ten minute wait on the lane.” Nate came over with Matt. They both ignored the girls and anger flashed across Connie’s face.

  “Hello, Matthew,” she said, the smoky tone to her voice was emphasised, and she started to fiddle with the ends of her hair.

  Matt had taken the cue from Josh and wasn’t looking at anyone as he chalked the end.

  “Matthew, could I talk to you for a moment?” Connie stepped towards him.

  “Not now, Connie.” Matt gave her an impersonal smile and moved around the table towards the white ball. He took a shot, split the reds and potted two of them in opposite corners. He moved till he was opposite where Lily was standing and met her eye. He held her gaze for several seconds. A muscle worked in his jawline. Then he turned to Connie. “There’s nothing to talk about, Connie. Not now or later.”

  Connie’s face went white with anger. Lily thought she was going to say something, but she drew herself up and walked away with the other girls following.

  “What the fuck was she doing here?” Matt snapped as he took a shot and missed. He was worked up, and her heart ached. Just how over Connie was he?

  “They’ve left now,” Jake said.

  Josh touched her lower back, and then his mouth was by her ear. “Want to try again, Lily Pad?” She turned her head towards him. Several strands of dark hair fell into his eyes. Eyes that were watching her carefully.

  If she was honest, she was surprised that they didn’t already have girlfriends. Maybe it was because of what they were. Maybe magic made it difficult for them. She knew they didn’t have close friendships with anyone other than each other. Matt and Nate were both in Raleigh House, so they probably sat together in registration. In French and History, they hadn’t sat with anyone else before her.

  She lined up the cue with the white ball to hit one of the reds sitting close to a corner pocket.

  “Lily.” Matt stepped up beside her. She sent him a sideways smile before concentrating on the ball. Connie was not her business. The only way his past could hurt her was if it wasn’t his past.

  “I’m going to try and hold onto the cue this time,” she muttered. Gripping it tightly, she brought the cue backwards and forwards. The white ball shot forwards, sent the red into the pocket, and the white dropped down right behind it. She stood up, a wide smile on her face. “I did it! I got the red in the hole!”

  “Sweetheart, it’s only supposed to be the red that goes down, not the white,” Nate said and smiled at her as he brought the white back out onto the table.

  “Well, yes, but I got the red in. Don’t ruin my five seconds of accomplishment, Nate.” She pouted at him, and he laughed, winking at her.

  “Go for the yellow, top left,” Josh said.

  She tried again and wasn’t surprised when the yellow went nowhere near the pocket.

  “Good thing we’re not playing for money,” Jake said as he potted a red skilfully.

  Matt put his hand on her elbow and drew her back. “Lily, let’s sit down. Jake and Josh are good at this. Between them, they’ll clear the table.”

  She let him guide her to the seats that lined the back wall. She sat beside him, resting her cue on the ground. “Are you good at it?” she asked, indicating the table.

  “Not as good as they are.” He tapped his fingers on his thigh. “Thing is, Lily, I used to date Connie. She was... is...”

  “A money grabbing bitch,” Nate said as he walked around their side of the table to take a shot.

  “Yes, well, she was that. But she was also...”

  “Two-timing Matt with Brian Donovan,” Josh said as he bent to take the shot Nate missed.

  “And she’s a sure thing,” Jake added with a sneer.

  “Moron! That was for Matt to tell her, not us!” Nate glared at him.

  “So far, you lot are the only ones telling her anything,” Matt said dryly, and they had the grace to give him sheepish grins.

  “Matt.” Lily waited till he was looking at her before she carried on. “You don’t have to tell me anything. The only thing I’d want to know is if you wanted to go back to her.”

  “No. Never.” Matt shook his head firmly and brought his hand to cup her cheek. “She dumped me at the beginning of the summer. I didn’t know she was two-timing me, and I don’t think he knew about me. Yeah, it hurt for a bit. But it didn’t take long for me to realise it was only my pride that got hurt. I don’t miss her.”

  “Matt.” She brought her hand to cover his. “You don’t need to tell me.”

  “I want to tell you,” he said and kissed the end of her nose. “I want this to work between us, Lily. No secrets.”

  She dropped her head, unable to meet his eyes. He didn’t want secrets between them, and she was keeping a big one. She had no right to ask anything from them when she couldn’t return it.

  “We don’t have any skeletons in our closet.” Josh’s voice brought her head up as he leant against the pool table. “We’ve never had a serious girlfriend. Neither has Nate. It was just Don Juan there.”

  “Well thanks, cousin.” Matt’s hand dropped to his lap as he glared at Josh.

  Josh grinned at him and tipped an imaginary hat. “You’re welcome. Ready, Lily? Your turn. All the reds are gone, so you’re aiming for the brown.”

  “I can’t believe you guys didn’t have girlfriends too.” She found that hard to believe, considering their looks.

  “Never met anyone who I trusted enough to reveal what I was.” Nate shrugged. “Never really met anyone I wanted to ask. Not till you anyway.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” Matt said. “I couldn’t tell her what we were. It’s a big part of my life, and it has to be kept secret from everyone except those losers.” He pointed at Nate and the twins. “I think she knew I was keeping something secret, but she never cared enough to find out what it was.”

  “Or she thought you were two-timing her and that was why she got with Brian,” Nate said.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Matt smiled at Lily. “We have you, and we don’t need to keep secrets anymore.”

  “We think fate brought us together. You chose to sit at our table because fate drew you. Your magic recognised Nate”—Jake lowered his voice as he crouched in front of her—“and it reached out to him. You connected with Matt when he touched you. The rest, as they say, is history.”

  “I still don’t believe in fate, Jake. I sat at the table because it was the only empty one there. As for Nate?” She shrugged.

  “We do.” Josh said. “You were supposed to come here, and we were supposed to find you.”

  “I don’t know. I mean I’m not knocking it. I would never have met you all if I hadn’t come here. But fate? I think it was all just chance.”

  “Well, however we got here, we’re here and that’s all that matters,” Josh said. “Come on, your turn. Brown ball, top left pocket. You can’t miss.” He pulled her to her feet.

  She had to stretch over the table to reach the white and have a good shot at the corner pocket.

  “Jesus, never had this much fun playing snooker before,” Jake whispered behind her, and she heard him fist-bump Josh.

  “I’m not that bad,” she grumbled and took aim.

  “Oh, sweetheart, you take your time
. We’re enjoying the view,” Josh said.

  Josh and Jake fist-bumped again, and colour flooded her face when she realised she was practically sprawled over the table with her jean-clad butt in the air. Nate grunted, and she was certain he thumped one of them, but she didn’t look back to see.

  “It’s an easy shot, you can’t miss this one.” Nate appeared in her peripheral vision.

  It did look easy. It was dead in line with the pocket, and a tap would send it in. She held her breath, thrust the cue forward, and missed the white ball.

  “What the hell?” she whined. They all burst into laughter.

  There was a movement behind her, and then Matt was lying over her. His weight pushed her into the table. His head was by hers as he caught hold of her hands and readjusted her aim. She closed her eyes. The feeling of him pressing her into the tables sent tingles through her.

  “There you go. Just swing slightly. You need to hit the white ball dead centre,” he said and lifted off her.

  Lily sighed at the loss of contact and glanced sideways at where he was standing, his hair falling over his forehead. He was adorable, and she was fairly sure he had no idea how he’d made her feel. With an encouraging smile, he nodded his head for her to try. She focused back on the white ball, drew in a breath, and took another aim. She was going to get this one in if it killed her. She hit the ball with a satisfying clunk. It shot forwards and hit the brown then rolled towards the pocket. She watched with bated breath as it reached the edge and stopped short of going down.

  “Oh, what? You’re kidding me!” she cried out, disappointed.

  “Fucking bad luck!” Josh called out.

  She eyed the ball with a frown. Stupid thing, couldn’t it have gone half an inch further for her?

  The ball slid forwards and went down the hole with a clunk. Her mouth fell open and she blinked to make sure she wasn’t seeing things. And then it sank in that one of them had given it a little nudge with their magic.

  “Who did that?” she asked, smiling as she turned.

  “I didn’t do it,” Nate said in surprise and looked at Matt. Matt shook his head in denial, so she looked at the twins, but they were looking at each other.