Denial

by R. M. Walker

  Nate smirked into the dark as the twins mumbled obscenities at them. He closed his eyes and blew out his breath. Things were a mess with all the lies told, but it was Drew who worried him the most. He didn’t trust him, but Lily seemed to. Or at least she had until tonight. On the bright side, she hadn’t run straight back to him when she found out. But neither had she run to them, to him. She’d gone into the woods and made her way to the treehouse. That stung a little bit—that she hadn’t come to him.

  He was used to having his cousins around him. They came to him when they needed help, and they were the first ones he turned to when he needed help, even before their parents or Jonas. They were bonded together by more than blood. They were bonded by magic, and now Lily was included in that. He’d felt it just as she had when she’d completed the circle at the bowling alley. Their magic had accepted hers, and hers had accepted theirs. It’d formed a connection that would last until they took their final breaths, regardless of where they were in life or how far apart they were.

  But she hadn’t run to him, or any of them. She’d gone into the forest and ended up at the treehouse, a safe place. But they were her safe place. He was her safe place, and she didn’t know it.

  Morning after

  The need for the bathroom woke Lily. She was groggy, and her eyes felt gritty and swollen. She was still wearing her clothes, and for a few seconds, it confused her. Until the memories came back, like cold water thrown over her.

  Drew.

  Drew was her father. For years, her mother—No, even that was a lie. She wasn’t her mother, she was her aunt. Nausea rose sharply in her throat as pain knifed her heart. So many lies. So much betrayal.

  She swallowed the nausea down, staring at the ceiling. False dawn spread its cold fingers through the gaps in the curtains. Sleep wouldn’t come back. She slid her way down the bed, trying not to disturb any of them. The twins were pressed together on the mattress, and she carefully stepped over their heads and onto the floor.

  Something was off about the room. There was a gap of about two feet between the wall and the bed.

  Why had they pulled it away from the wall?

  She moved quietly and found the door was locked. She unlocked and opened the door, not sure why they had locked it in the first place. She looked down, lifting a foot to move forwards, and froze.

  On the floor, in white chalk, was the strangest thing she’d ever seen. An eye sat in the middle of a pentagram, strange symbols in each of the sections of the star. A chalk line was drawn behind the symbol and around the wall until it disappeared behind the bed. She realised it was a protection circle. They’d cast magic spells last night for protection.

  She wanted to examine it more, but she had no choice except to step over them, careful not to touch the markings. She pulled the door behind her and made her way to the bathroom.

  When she returned, the bedroom door was open, and she could hear them talking together quietly. The floorboard squeaked under her foot, and she heard the bed move.

  “How do you feel?” Matt asked as he came to the door.

  She gave him a wan smile, not sure how to put into words how she was feeling. It was still a tangled mess in her head, and she had more questions than there were answers. She didn’t feel as exhausted as she had last night though, and she knew she had him to thank for that.

  “Better for the sleep, thanks.” She stepped towards him. He reached out a hand, and she took it, letting him tug her into his arms. She wound her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest.

  “I’m glad.” He kissed the top of her head then led her into the bedroom where the others were waiting.

  The twins got up from where they were pushing the mattress back under the bed. They smiled at her as they sat on the end of the bed. Nate was on his knees by the window, erasing the chalk marks they’d drawn last night.

  “Why did you put them down?” she asked, watching Nate.

  “To make sure Drew didn’t try to get to you last night,” Nate said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

  “What?”

  Nate stood up and turned to her. “There’s a lot we need to discuss, and there’s a lot you need to figure out. We should get some breakfast first. No one can think on an empty stomach, or at least I can’t. We can’t talk downstairs, so we’ll eat here.”

  He was right, there was a lot she needed to sort through. She could talk and talk and talk, but unless she went home, she wasn’t going to get any answers. She needed to see her mother.

  She’d grown up calling her Mum, when it should have been Aunt. But did it really matter? It was a name, a title; it made no difference to the times she’d been there for her. She’d read to her every night when she was younger. She’d nursed her through all the childhood illnesses. She’d bandaged and kissed all her scrapes and bruises, had been there through her seizures.

  Her seizures.

  A lump formed in her throat as her heart broke all over again. They weren’t seizures, and she’d known that. She’d known every time the doctors poked and prodded her, every scan she’d had to go through, every stay in the hospital while the doctors tried to find a cause. She’d known every time what was causing it, and she’d lied. And that wasn’t all she lied about. How far did the lies stretch? How would she ever believe anything she said? There had to be a reason for all the lies.

  Well, there was a reason for it, and the reason was Drew.

  “I need to talk to my mum,” she said and winced at the name.

  “Yes, you do, but you need to eat first,” Nate said.

  The twins got up, kissed her cheeks, then left the room.

  “I don’t think I can eat,” Lily said, rubbing at the knots forming in her stomach.

  “Just a little.” Nate took her arm gently and led her to the bed. She sat down with him beside her, and he slid his arm around her waist. Matt sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her.

  “When you speak to Lynda, we want to be with you,” Matt said. “We want to be there for you. But we also need to know just how dangerous Drew is.”

  Lily rubbed her forehead with her fingertips. “I don’t think he’s dangerous. He’s supposed to be my father.”

  “That doesn’t really mean anything. Look at this,” Nate said, and with his free hand he drew his phone out and opened his picture gallery. He held it out so she could see it.

  An image of a strange looking symbol was on the screen. It was drawn on a wood floor that was not Matt’s. She could see the corner of a turned back rug and the edge of a metal spiral staircase.

  “Is that my living room? Is that a spell?”

  “No, we found this in Drew’s living room. I didn’t know what this sigil was,” Nate admitted. “I’d never seen one like it before.”

  “You’ve been in his cottage?” she asked, taking the phone and looking carefully at the picture. It was similar to the symbol she’d seen on their floor this morning, but different as well. It gave her an odd feeling to look at it, a feeling she couldn’t identify.

  “We went in last night when we found out you were missing.” Matt rested his elbows on his bent knees and his chin in his hands.

  “It’s a spell to enable him to send his shadow-self anywhere he wants,” Nate added.

  “His what self?”

  “Astral projection. You know what that is?” Nate asked her.

  “Yeah, it’s comic book stuff. An out of body thing, isn’t it?” She didn’t know why he would be talking about it now.

  “Yeah, except it’s real. This spell enables the caster to use his shadow-self, his psyche, while keeping his physical body anchored to the ground. He used it to get into your room. We think he did it here as well.”

  “He what?” She looked at Nate in surprise, not sure she understood.

  “We think he got in here when you were staying with us.”

  “You—he—” Lily’s head went back as sheer horror filled her. “No, no,
he wouldn’t do that!”

  “He has done it,” Nate said. “You woke up thinking there was someone in your room. The night the alarm went off, you said you wondered if it was the man in your room again. Why else would that symbol be on his living room floor?”

  Chills went down her spine, her whole body froze as his words sank in. Had he been in her room when she was sleeping? It made her skin crawl, and the hairs on the back of her neck rose. She rubbed at her arms, trying to get rid of the feelings. It was beyond creepy. It made her feel sick to think how vulnerable she was without even knowing it.

  The twins came in with trays of mugs and toast and set them on the bed. Jake held out a mug to Lily. She took it, but her hand shook so much it spilt over the edge so he took it back quickly.

  “You’ll get through this, we promise.” Jake touched her cheek with his other hand.

  Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them away furiously. She had to keep this together. There had to be an answer for all of this. It wasn’t random things done to hurt her. There was always an answer, she just had to find it.

  “Why would he scare me like that? Why come into my room and frighten me? He’s supposed to be my father. Why would he do that?” She looked up at him, lifting her fingers to cover his.

  “There’s a chance that—”

  “Jake!” Nate barked.

  “What? What is it?” She dislodged Jake’s fingers as she turned to look at Nate.

  “We don’t know why he did it, but we will find out,” Nate answered her.

  Josh reached out and touched Jake’s elbow, catching his attention. Jake looked at him and shrugged.

  “No!” Lily shook her head. “No, don’t start hiding things from me. Not you as well, please!”

  Nate rolled his head back and gave a long sigh. “I don’t like Drew. I never have, and I never will. But...” Nate faded out and looked at Jake. “Go on.”

  “He may know what we are, that we’re fae. He may have come here to make sure you were safe. Or he may not know we’re fae, but he was still worried that you were going to be here at night with the four of us. He might have thought we’d...” He faded out, but she knew what he meant.

  “So to keep me safe, he what? Scared the life out of me?” She blew out her breath.

  “He might have tried to scare you into going back to your cottage,” Jake said, and Nate snorted loudly.

  “I need to talk to her. I need to know more.” She took a deep breath and reached out to take her coffee again. She was freezing inside and out. Maybe it would thaw the chill around her heart. Jake held the side of the mug until she got a grip on it, and then he let go.

  “Lily, we’ll be with you every step of this,” Matt said.

  “You can’t be with me.” She’d have to do this alone. She couldn’t have them there and keep their secret.

  “Why can’t we?” Nate asked, as he picked up a mug and a piece of toast.

  “Because she can’t talk with you there.” Lily looked at him sideways. “She can’t say that it’s magic and not epilepsy in front of you. She doesn’t know what you are.”

  “She will if we tell her,” Josh said, and she looked at him quickly.

  “No, you can’t tell her. You can’t put yourself into that position. It could be dangerous.”

  “Sweetheart, we will not leave you alone for this. Drew probably already knows what we are; he’s a complete bastard, but he’s not stupid. And even if he doesn’t know, she isn’t going to tell him. She’s hid you from him all these years for a reason,” Matt said.

  “I don’t want you to get hurt.” She looked at him then at the others. “You’ve kept this secret for so long because it’s dangerous. You can’t put yourself in danger for me. I appreciate you saying this, I really do. But I need to talk to her alone, hear what she’ll say when it’s just me there. Besides, we can’t all miss college.”

  “Yes, we can,” Josh contradicted smoothly.

  “If you want us there, we’ll be there. If you’d rather do this alone, that’s fine. But don’t do this alone because you’re worried about protecting us, we won’t be in any danger if she finds out we’re fae. So forget about us. What do you want to do?” Nate asked her.

  “I think I should do this alone. I also want to hear what she has to say about magic without knowing that I already know.”

  “Fair enough.” Nate put his hand on her lower back and rubbed circles. “We’ll finish here, take you to Lynda’s, and then we’ll carry on into college, see if Drew is there. We’ll keep our phones on, and if you need us, call. Don’t hesitate, Lily. Just ring us, and we’ll come straight away. Understand?”

  Everything had collapsed around her except them. They were her one constant, her one flicker of truth in a darkness of lies.

  “You really are the best friends I could wish for,” she whispered.

  “We’ll always be your best friends, Lily,” Josh said.

  There was a soft knock at the door. Josh stood up quickly. Nate got up from the bed and crossed to the window as Matt moved up to sit beside Lily, slipping his arm around her waist. Josh opened the door and stepped back to let June come in.

  “Hey, Aunt June, I hope we didn’t wake you up,” Josh said and moved to stand by Jake.

  “No, you didn’t; Uncle Harold had to leave early this morning. I came to see how you are, Lily.” She looked at where Matt had his arm tucked around her.

  “I’m sorry about last night.” Lily’s cheeks heated with embarrassment.

  “It’s no problem. You’re welcome here anytime,” June said. “I expect your mother will want to hear from you, though. Matt, can you take Lily home on your way to college, or shall I drop her off?”

  “We’ll take her home after breakfast.”

  “All right. Make sure you clear that up before you leave.” She indicated the trays on the bed. She hesitated in the doorway and looked back at Lily. It looked as if she was going to say something, but she changed her mind, smiled at her, and went out. The smile hadn’t reached her eyes. She wasn’t as pleased with her being there as she said.

  “She’s not happy with me,” she said after the door clicked shut. “What happened last night? I don’t remember coming here.”

  “You were asleep.” Matt rocked her gently. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

  She saw the twins look at each other. They knew more than they were letting on. “What is it?” she asked them.

  “You caused a bit of a stir when you disappeared, that’s all,” Jake said. “She was worried last night. They all were. So were we.”

  “Why didn’t you come to me?” asked Nate suddenly, and she looked at him in surprise.

  Matt cleared his throat. “Us, you should have come to us. We were waiting for you.”

  “I didn’t mean to worry you, or anyone. I wasn’t thinking to be honest. They were yelling at each other, and I just had to get out.” She lifted a hand to her throat as she remembered. “I couldn’t breathe, so I went out the back door. I think...” She hesitated, not sure how to word it so that she understood it, let alone them.

  “Go on,” Nate prompted her.

  “I went into the woods. I couldn’t see; it was too dark. But I ended up at the treehouse. I think the trees took me there.” She rubbed a hand down her face. “That sounds like I’m ready for the madhouse.”

  “You’re talking to four fairies, Lily Pad.”

  Nate glared at Jake.

  “Well, she is. Deny it all you want, but you, Ignatius, are a fairy.” Jake smirked at him.

  “Fuck you!” Nate flipped him off and looked at Lily. “Ignore the moron. The trees would have led you to the treehouse. There’s magic in you, Lily. It’s connected with the trees every time you’ve stepped in there. They were there because you needed them. They help their own.”

  “Drew said I was a witch,” she said. “Jonas says I’m a Seer.”

  “Jonas might be wrong,” Nat
e said. “It’s been known before. Not often, but the man isn’t perfect.”

  “You’ve told him, haven’t you?” Lily knew the answer before he spoke, and she wasn’t sure how that sat with her.

  “I had no idea what Drew was casting,” Nate admitted. “I knew Jonas would know. And if he didn’t, he’d find out. I know you’ve got issues with him, but I trust him. We all do.”

  “And what about the Council he says doesn’t exist? Drew said it kept him away from me. How can it if it doesn’t exist?”

  “He was as surprised as we were. He’s finding out about it. He will find the answers, and whatever he comes back with, you will be able to trust.”

  Lily blew out her breath. She wasn’t so sure; it seemed as if no one was capable of honesty around her. With the exception of them.

  Matt caught her eye and winked. His arm was warm around her. The twins were watching her, nibbling on their thumbnails as usual, with their hair hanging in their eyes. Nate had his arms folded, his expression open as he looked at her.

  They were her constants; of that she was sure.

  “If you can trust no one else, trust us,” Nate said, and she wondered if he’d read her mind.

  “I do trust you. I trust you all.” She blew her breath out and rubbed her palms down her jean-clad legs. There was only one thing left to do. “I guess no time like the present then. I need to talk to her.”

  “Give us a couple of minutes to get ready for college.” Nate stood up and took control. “Matt, you’re the only one with your uniform here. Shower and get changed while we clear these trays away. Then we’ll drop Lily to her place, and we’ll go change. We won’t be late if we get a move on.”

  Nerves trickled into her stomach, joining the betrayal and hurt. She wanted to close her eyes and wish it all away, but that wasn’t going to happen. She would have to screw up her courage and face this. There was no other way.

  Explanations

  Her eyes were closed. The lines of strain on her face, even in her sleep, were clear to see. She was sitting in the chair by the long dead fire, her glasses on her lap. Her phone was clutched tightly in her hand. She’d stayed up all night, waiting for Lily to call or come home. And Lily had done neither.