Saving Noah

by Kaci Rose

  If I could smile, I think I’d smile so big it’d filled my whole face right now. She’s staying, even if it isn’t for me, she’s staying. It’s a relief.

  “Tell me about… work,” I say, and then listen to her explain that she’s a social media guru and food blogger. She helps manage some blogs and small businesses social media accounts, but she had cut back on that because she prefers to write.

  “I also run an online food website with recipes and cooking tips, product reviews, and such. I put out an online magazine as well and am working on publishing a cookbook.” She says.

  Shrugging, she continues, “The Wi-Fi here at the hospital has a decent connection, and that’s all I need to work. I have enough recipes on backlog with photos to edit and write up. I can mix that with posts on the website, and I should be fine. Worst case, I have a friend that has done some recipe shoots for me before that I can reach out, to. I also have a few videos I’ve been working on editing. So, I have plenty to keep me busy.”

  “She’s an amazing cook. The cookies in the care packages I get. Those were made by her.” Moore interjects from the bed next to me.

  I remember those care packages. I’d get a bit jealous because it seemed each time we got mail he had care packages from his parents, his wife, or his sister. The Unit waited for the ones from his sister because they were always filled with cookies and baked treats.

  I was lucky if my parents were able to send one care package per deployment. Money was always so tight with them. They have put all their extra money into taking care of my grandpa, my dad’s dad. He’s the only living grandparent I have. He has Alzheimer’s and has to be in a special nursing home with all sorts of locks and safety measures.

  It’s not cheap, and he’s been there for five years now. My parents never complain, but being the oldest, I’ve always felt I needed to help out. I got a job after school the moment I could. My parents refused to take money from me to help with the bills, so I took the money I made and made sure my sisters had clothes and school supplies, bought Christmas and birthday presents, and added groceries to our pantry each month.

  There was no money for college, and let’s be honest, I didn’t have the grades, so I joined the Marines. Then, I started sending money home each month. It took me a bit to convince my parents I was okay. Since I stayed in the barracks, the only expenses I had were my phone and car.

  Though, I’m guessing now, I’ll be discharged and need to figure something else out. My heart starts to race thinking about it. The money is directly deposited from my paycheck into my parent’s bank account, but am I still getting a paycheck?

  My heart monitor starts beeping, as my mind races, but I’m pulled from it, when Lexi takes my hand.

  “Hey. It’s okay. You’re safe, and I’m right here. Look at me.” She says in a calming voice.

  I turn my head enough that I can focus on her.

  “There you are.” She smiles, and the heart monitor slows. “You got too far in your own head there. I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to stop that. Want me to keep talking?” She asks.

  “Yes,” I say.

  “Well, Johnny is right. I love to cook, but it’s hard for just one, so I don’t cook as much as I’d like. The cookbook is more of a hobby for me. I always thought it would be cool to do a cookbook, so I’m going to finish one and sell it on my website. Becky has been my taste tester with Johnny gone, and now my dad since he’s stuck at home, after his back surgery.”

  That explains why her parents aren’t here. When I shift and cringe in pain, she stands up to get the nurse for some pain medication.

  “You go to sleep. I’m going to get some work done and will be here when you wake up, okay?”

  I just nod, and the last thing I remember, before falling asleep is how she looks like an angel the way the light is hitting her hair.

  Chapter 5

  Lexi

  We fall into a good routine. Noah has had one skin graft, and the doctors say they will do more, once he gets stateside. Because the doctors keep Noah out with the pain medicine most of the day, we only get about fifteen to thirty minutes every eight hours to talk, and I give him my full attention.

  At first, it was me talking and him listening, but the last few days, he’s been talking to me more and opening up. He’s told me about his family and joining the military. Talking is still a bit hard, but the more he speaks, the easier it seems to get.

  When he sleeps, I either nap, work, or slip out to the hotel room for a shower. While I’m at the hotel, I make it a point to call Mom and Dad each day with updates. They demand video calls because they want to see me themselves and make sure I’m taking care of myself. Since we can’t have our phone on in the hospital, I’ve made a few videos with my tablet and have been able to send them regularly.

  Now that Johnny is doing well, my parents have focused on how Noah is doing. When I told them we wouldn’t be home as soon as planned, because Johnny refused to leave Noah’s side, I saw pride on my parent’s faces. They hate that Noah doesn’t have anyone.

  I guess, Becky told them about my encounter with Whitney, because my mom asked why I didn’t give her a black eye, and my dad was proud I showed restraint. I can’t win with those two.

  I’ve had a few calls from Becky’s parents, too. They want to check on me, but also want to know that Becky is okay and taking care of herself. They’re worried, and I can’t blame them.

  Becky and I worked it out, so one of us is here at all times. I didn’t want Noah waking up again and feeling like I might have left him.

  It broke my heart when he said that he thought I had left. It was never my intention for him to feel alone. It’s hard for him to talk, and I know he’s disoriented from being asleep all the time. I wanted to offer him something solid to hold on to.

  We have been here just shy of three weeks now, and I have to say, if it weren’t for being in a hospital, I would like the routine we have set up.

  When I notice Noah starting to wake up, I save my work and close my laptop. Then, I reach over and take his hand.

  “Hey, good morning,” I say to him. I started doing this to orient him on the time of day it was since there are no windows to look out nor are there any clocks he can see.

  Johnny is in his bed reading a book, but I can feel his eyes on me. He has been watching me these few weeks. Though, he hasn’t said anything, he keeps an eye on me. Becky said Johnny’s happy I’ve been helping Noah, and he hates to think he’d be alone without us. But the way he watches me, I can see his wheels turning.

  “Hey,” Noah says, his voice dry and scratchy.

  I grab his water and lift the straw to his mouth. He takes a sip, then I ask, “Are you hungry?” He nods.

  He’s moving his head more now, and when they changed out his bandages, I can see his mouth.

  They have him on a liquid meal shake, so he can use a straw. I go grab one from the nurse’s station fridge and bring it up to his mouth. He forces down a few sips with a grimace.

  “I know they’re gross, huh?” I ask him.

  “Yeah,” he says and takes a few more sips.

  “Well, once you’re cleared for real food, I’ll make you a home cooked meal, anything you want,” I say to Noah.

  “Hey, brother here. What about me? I can eat real food!” Johnny whines.

  “You also haven’t been forced to drink these shakes for weeks. Trust me, I tried one, and they’re gross. Remember that cough medicine Grandma would give us any time we were sick? It’s worse than that. He deserves a year of home cooked food.” I tell Johnny.

  Our grandma thought this cough medicine could cure anything. I’m pretty sure she made it herself. There was never a label on it, and it tasted horrible like dirt, curdled milk, and vinegar.

  Johnny’s face goes serious for a moment, and he gets this calculating look in his eye, but it’s gone just as fast, and he’s back to my playful big brother.

  “Keep it up, and I’ll tell Mom, and s
he’ll demand you come over for dinner more often,” Johnny says.

  “Don’t you dare,” I say.

  “Oh, I dare.” He fires back.

  We lock eyes and stare each other down until the doctor comes in.

  While they check Noah’s bandages, I step outside the curtain. I want to see under them so badly, but I know he isn’t ready for that, and I won’t push him.

  When the doctor comes out, he looks at Noah and Johnny. “Well, looks like you two are going home. Where do you want to be transferred?”

  “Camp Clarke,” Johnny says.

  Camp Clarke is in southern Georgia. When Johnny and Becky were married, they found a place halfway between the base and her school in Savannah, and each of them only had about a twenty-minute drive. We were lucky he was stationed there, since we live right outside Savannah, Georgia.

  Then Noah says. “I don’t have anyone, and my parents can’t take time off to help me, and there’s no base near them.”

  I grab his hand. “Come back to Camp Clarke with us.”

  He looks at me for a minute “You live near there?”

  “Yes, I live in Clark Springs,” I say.

  He pauses to think for a minute, and I find myself holding my breath. I want him to come back with us more than I realize. Though, I can go anywhere he is if he doesn’t choose to come back with me. I feel like he would be choosing to get away from me, but I will have plenty of time on the plane home to sort out these crazy feelings.

  “That’s where I’ll go, then,” he says.

  “Okay, I’ll get the orders going. You ladies will have to make your own plans because you can’t ride with them.” The doctor looks at us, and we nod.

  “Doc,” Noah says. “Can we get Lexi on the forms so she can see me when we get there?”

  When he says that, I smile. He wants me there, and that means everything to me. Knowing I’m helping him and will have more time with him, is a relief.

  “Of course, I’ll take care of it. She’s special this one.” The doctor smiles at me. “We will let you know, but they’ll be heading out sometime tomorrow.”

  I look over at Noah after the doctor leaves and smile at him. “Don’t you dare stop fighting, when you’re on that plane. I’ll be waiting for you at the other end.” I say.

  “Promise?” He asks.

  “I promise,” I say, squeezing his hand.

  The nurse comes over to start prepping both of them, and before Becky and I go, I lean over and kiss Noah’s hand.

  “See you stateside, Soldier,” I say, before I head back to the hotel.

  Becky and I book our flight and call to let Mom and Dad know we’re coming home.

  That night as I lay in bed, I can’t help but think this is the first night I’ve spent away from Noah, since we met, and I don’t like it one bit.

  Chapter 6

  Noah

  They’re getting ready to load Moore and me and transport us to the plane.

  “Hey, we’re going to give you something to knock you out, because the transportation from the hospital to the plane is bumpy. The doctor thinks it’s best if you are out for it.” The nurse says.

  “Okay. How is the plane ride?” I ask.

  “A lot like your plane ride there. Smooth, unless you hit turbulence. They have medicine to knock you out if it gets too bad.”

  I nod, when another nurse comes up with a big smile on her face.

  Grinning, she says, “You have a call.”

  Thankfully, she holds the phone for me to my good ear.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s Lexi.” Her warm voice comes over the line, and even though it hurts, I still smile. “I got used to being there when you get up each morning, so I was hoping to catch you before they boarded you. We have another hour, before our flight. Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.”

  My heart races, and the stupid heart rate monitor tells the room. This causes both nurses to smile at me.

  “I was thinking about you too, and I’ll see you soon,” I say, wishing I could talk more to her.

  “Yes, you will. See you soon, Noah.” She says as we say our goodbyes.

  The nurse with the phone winks at me, “That was a totally illegal phone call, so it didn’t happen.”

  “What didn’t happen?” I ask.

  She nods and walks away. The first nurse smiles at me with a syringe of medicine in her hand. “Ready?”

  “I’m ready to go see her, yes.”

  * * *

  I wake up later on, and I’m still on the plane. Moore is next to me, and we have a nurse at our bedside. There are two doctors walking past the beds, and four other beds of soldiers, being transferred as well.

  I stare at the metal of the plane roof and think of Lexi. She has spent the last few weeks with me only leaving, when she had to, and mostly to shower and change clothes.

  I hated she was there having to take care of me, and as much as I didn’t like it, I couldn’t force her to leave. The only reassurance I have is that she could have chosen to walk away at any point and claimed work or family, and she didn’t.

  She says we’re friends, and this is what friends do.

  I can’t help but smile. I was never good with girls. Hell, Whitney was my only relationship, and the only girl I’ve ever kissed, and my first at just about everything. She was comfortable.

  But Lexi, she makes my heart race and takes my breath away. Before this accident, I’d have pursued her and not thought twice, but now, I know how I’m going to come out of this.

  It’s not going to be pretty, and Lexi deserves so much more, I want to give her the world. She deserves to go out and live in it, and not hidden away with someone who will scare people every time they go out. I have her as a friend, and I won’t let go of that until she makes me. It will be enough.

  It has to be enough.

  I’ll have her any way I can, I don’t dare dream she might be mine someday. I’m sure a girl like her wants kids. Though, I didn’t tell her, but one of the times the doctor came in while she was gone, he said they didn’t know the extent of the damage down there. Basically, they don’t know, if I’ll ever be able to get it up again or get hard, much less have kids.

  So, friends we will stay.

  I look over at the nurse.

  “Want some more pain medicine?” She asks. I just nod, and in just a few minutes, I’m drifting off again.

  * * *

  When I wake up, I’m in a hospital room, and I see Lexi with her back to me, looking out the window. My throat is dry, and I ache all over, but I can’t stop watching her. She’s in shorts, flip flops, and an old worn out t-shirt. By the looks of it, she wears it a lot. Her blonde hair is thrown up in a messy bun, and she looks comfortable.

  “Lexi,” I say, but I don’t recognize my own voice, because it’s dry and scratchy.

  She turns around, and I see shock, and then relief crosses her face, as she rushes to my side.

  “Noah, thank God!” She says, rushing over and grabbing my hand. Then, she gets the water from the side table and holds the straw to my mouth. The water feels good on my throat, and I study her, as a take a few slow sips.

  She looks so damn beautiful that it makes my chest hurt, but I can tell something is wrong. It looks like she was crying. The thought of her crying guts me, and that’s when I know I’m in deep with this girl.

  I remember my dad always saying he couldn’t take my mom’s tears, because it would wound him. I remember one night when my grandmother died, and my mom was crying uncontrollably into my dad’s shoulder, and I saw tears, running down his face.

  When I asked him about it later, he said yes, he was sad my grandmother had died, but it hurt worse that my mom was crying, and he couldn’t stop it. He said he’d do anything to take away her pain. I was thirteen at the time, and I remember thinking I want a love like that someday.

  Looking at Lexi now, the thought of her crying, well, I’m starting to understand how my dad felt that ni
ght.

  I take one more sip of water. “What’s wrong?” I ask her. If I know what has her upset, I might be able to fix it, or at least, comfort her.

  She takes a deep breath “The plane ride was pretty rough. I guess, they hit some weather and decided to keep you under, but you reacted weirdly to the medication they gave you. They expected you to wake up three days ago. The doctor kept saying it was your body’s way of healing, but it didn’t make it any easier not to know when or…if you would wake up.”

  I let that sink in. I’ve been out for almost four days now, but the next thought I have is she was upset, because of me.

  Me.

  This strange feeling washes over me, and I can’t explain it. In that moment, the pain is gone, the memories of the explosion gone, and the worry of the fight ahead gone.

  In that moment, all I see is this beautiful girl worried about me. Somehow in the back of my mind, I know as long as she’s here, everything will be okay.

  “That explains how I feel,” I say. My whole body is stiff and sore, and I feel about as bad as I did when I woke up on the way to Germany. Worry crosses her face, as she presses the call button for the nurse.

  “Have you been here the whole time?” I ask.

  “Yes, but they kick me out after visiting hours.” She says and then is a softer voice, “I was so worried you would wake up, when I wasn’t here. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

  My damn heart starts beating faster than a racehorse at the Kentucky Derby. I want her words to mean so much more, but I know we’re just friends. I remind myself I’m in the friend zone, and that’s it.

  The nurse comes in and sees I’m awake. She checks the monitors and says, “I’ll go get the doctor. See, Lexi, we told you he was okay.” She places a hand on Lexi’s shoulder, before walking out the door.